Monday, September 10, 2012

Perceptions or My Identity

Couple of off-guard comments and questions last week and I have been thinking who am I? Its not a brain raking thought; just on a lighter side.

Two questions; just two. Those made me realize the perceptions people carry around. Oh! is that the way they've been thinking all the while? And on the serious side, maybe that's how I portray myself!

Is your home town really Bangalore? You've lived all your life here? 

My trainer at the gym asked me with shock one day when we talking casually. I nodded, yeah and added, in fact my mom's parents and grand parents are from Bangalore too. My husband's parents both were employed at Indian Air Force. Knowing this, he kinda chuckled and followed with a comment that went something like - I thought you were from some village in Tamil Nadu. Ungala patha pattikaadu matiri irukku. Its a slang to refer a naive and foolish person who has just arrived from village. Tamil folks, correct me if not. Actually, its a more derogatory remark.

I didn't react. I thought for few seconds, I don't look like a freshly immigrated pattikaadu from any village, I do wear well fitted sports wear to the gym, I look in place perfectly, not out of place! I just asked why; the trainer said that my body language does not show any pride of a Bangalorean. Now folks, I don't know how to show the "I am a Bangalorean" pride. I have spent all my life here; I don't go around wearing a Bangalorean badge on my sleeve the way people who arrived a couple of years ago do. Anyway, as the chat continued; his next question was "Weekend plans ma'am? Party?" I said that I don't attend parties or any such activities since I don't like crowd. He was baffled; a Bangalore local not liking parties...Ummm...Perception!

The second incident occurred yesterday when a friend and his wife and her sister came home. This girl is chatty, comments on everything and anything and talks on topics that I would generally blush to talk! Kids nowadays! Sigh! Enough said. We went out and I was thinking to exchange all my read books. I took her with me to the book store while others went to a nearby mall. Now me, I get lost in books; she waited for me to pick up the books and leave, it took me 30 minutes or so (which is quick! I was aware I was not alone and hence cant take forever)

She kept prodding me about how I read all these, when do I get time, don't I find it boring? She picked a couple of books and asked me "From where will you start reading?" That was weird, of course I wont be reading First printed at...., acknowledgements and all that. She found a couple of words and wanted to know its meaning. "Splendid" and 'frigid". OK! I am not a master in English but this girl is doing her Journalism. Pity her employers and pity her readers.

I was finding it unusual really, I hope my feelings were not exaggerated. I also had to explain why some words in a book were italicized while others were not and later to make her understand what I was meaning by explaining what is italicization. Finally, the big question came

Were you a nerd from the beginning?

Well, I didn't know what to say. Why am I branded a nerd? Just because I read books? I don't wear any spectacles. I don't dress like one; I mean the way they show nerds in movies. I am chic, smart and savvy. Does that warrant for a nerd? Ummmphh! Perceptions!

Or are these my identities? :-|

38 comments:

  1. hehee.. that happens all the time.. :P dont u waste ur time thinkin abt it... :D

    if someone's reads a novel, by default he gets the 'nerd' label... :D

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    1. :) Yeah its just funny how people think

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  2. Wow how amazing you must be to not fit in?What do you look like do be so different from others and stand out from the crowd?Are you pulling our legs pretending not to try to be different to make yourself be special and get noticed and comments made about you like this and get lots of attention,which is so a compliment.And don't think I'm asking you to try to copy you.And do you think this person was accurate to pint directly to a remote village being the place you came from,in other words,was that your aim to look like you came from that exact village?You were sure to arouse curiousity among Banaglore chicks to be so different from them,and don't think you can fool me a Truth Seluth in regard to this matter,you've got to get up pretty early in the morning to fool me.It's the same with men that rev up by sla i botn their cars,that is their engine to get noticed,and hot nobbing around with a hot sexy blond to show off and make men envious.

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    1. Glad you think alike, its sheer ignorance on people's part and nothing else!

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  3. Hello Ms.Pattikadu !! he he !!

    Happens all the time. Stereotypes are the worlds shortcut to thinking. I have been called a nerd, a jerk, an athlete, a weirdo, a writer, a poet, rich fellow, villager and several such. All of which are far from the truth.

    Many years ago, It was in a behavioural lab that I got exposed to the fact that I was thinking of people in the same lines that I caught others thinking in stereotypes !

    The mind, it does strange things you see !

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    1. Kavi,

      Nice to see you here after a long time :) Yeah pattikadu :P

      Yeah, one needs a name, an identity which may be a part of them partially. But to label a person that way without knowing much, is sure funny!

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  4. It happens to most of us all the time.Such question was relevant say 30 yrs back,when one would begrow up in the village/town one was born in.
    Times have cahnged----those who ask these questions need to get some exposure themselves

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    1. I think the trainer asked it because of the immigration culture of Bangalore. But to brand one just because that person does not socialize the way others do is bad. I just go to the gym to workout; not socialize; maybe he thought i was a shy village girl :P

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    2. Haha, sir you have met me. You may know

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  5. As a random thought on usual happenings,this can be a tailor-made for your blogspace dear Insi.I am sure you know better to ignore all such nonsense.Yes comments like that from your trainer need special thought in another way.What crazy world we live in ? My God !

    Then,reg the to-be-journalist,she will make it to the top for sure Insi.You know why ? That special ignorance and stupidity she possess makes it WORTH in her profession today.The 'readers' and 'writers' of sorts will never make good journalist anymore.This is an era of 'stories'..Isn't it ?

    Shallow thinking minus reading eventually turns this planet to an asylum.

    Btw Insi,your identity rests with you,the one you have painstakingly evolved..Cheers to that !

    (sorry this was a long one)

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    1. Melange,

      Ha I agree with what you say. Ignorance rules the world :) These incidents didnt irk me at all; it just brought smile to my lips :)

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  6. Atrocious remarks (above all, perceptions!) people make, uh?! And for the one who called you "nerd", I wouldn't be too surprised. She needs to start from the very beginning of A, B, C...hee, hee!

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    1. :P Book readers = nerd. Such simple definition :)

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  7. well i better not start on my side of story, I am sure you already know a few of them .. what I am percieved or have been asked.

    How the hell does it matter .. I have no clue and cant answer

    Bikram's

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    1. It doesnt, it makes us realize how ignorant people can be

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  8. Weird is the word, I would say for such responses from people!! :|

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  9. Didn't you punch that gym trainer? I know people judge. Even we end up doing that, but saying such things on one's face is ridiculous to say the least! I don't want to comment about the future journo as that will be as good as judging her.

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    1. Neha,

      I so very badly want to but I didnt :). 2 reasons - I felt funny due to his ignorance. Second, I do need his expertise in keeping me fit :D

      Journo :) least said

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  10. Not very pleasant experiences for sure but better ignored. I wonder why people feel the need to label everything and everyone. And the journalism chick, sounds seriously weird. Gym trainer - moron.

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    1. Ha ha it gave me an insight for sure

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  11. Churlish! That is what your trainer is.

    Can we help if someone has a certain perception of us? Does it matter?
    It is a tough ask , if we were to ignore outright a false opinion on us. We all in a way crave and long for recognition and acceptance. However when boorish elements are more in number we do come across such unpleasantness as you had.

    What angers me is not if someone stereotypes me or asperse , but when some one who has known me for long expresses a defiling statement on my back while smiling profusely in my face. Well I'm no hermit to be impervious to such malicious conduct , neither are you for instance, I'm sure.

    As for the pathetic girl who aspires to be a journalist well "God save the media"!

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  12. Hermits don't become that just to avoid people that they know and don't, twisting words to destroy them,because they are so sensitive,they become recluses because of fear,anxiety,panic attacs and weak nerves.At one time, all three of us,that is my two sisters and I were hermits at the same time.

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  13. Best to ignore such people who have no decency and civility to know what to say and what to hold back. That is a problem with most Indians! They are very rude on the face. Sadly, our much exalted culture is a cruel joke. When was the last time, one came across someone well-behaved and polite.

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    1. Yeah, it didnt really matter much to me what they thought about me. I know what I am. However just pondering over how others think

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  14. Stereotyping clouds rational thought process for some. Just as South Indian is a Madrasi and North Indian is a Punjabi for some.

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    1. Yeah earlier it was understandably ok..but even now!

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  15. Ah people!! Always bent upon judging people.. I guess they spend more time categorizing people than living their respective lives and making the most out of every day that passes away... Pity.. they don't realize when they look back... they could've used those times for something more worthwhile...

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    1. Yeah I think thats part of life. Sometimes we also tend to do. This was an eyeopener to me :)

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  16. They saw only 1% of the things Bindu does and judged her. Only if they saw half of things Bindu does, their conclusions would be much different! And if they see the other half of the things Bindu does, their jaws would drop. :-p

    I guess sometimes it is difficult to find difference between a "ignorant villager" and a humble person. Pattikadu actually seems to be a compliment to me.

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    1. Lol! now dont let the cat out of the bag!

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  17. Don't pay attention to your trainer. Sounds like a right tosser to me. Pardon my language but such people need lesson in civil sense 101.

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    1. True I didnt :) Thanks for such lovely words

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I'd love to know what you thought :-) Please shoot!