Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Getting Influenced

At some point of time in life, each of us have been influenced by someone, some incident, some thing. The ma'am who taught Math at school, neat - always in neatly pressed Cotton Saree; always punctual and kind but strict with the students; or the Chemistry professor whose attitude was as effervescent as the chemicals in the laboratory; or the young and handsome Computer teacher whose fingers moved flawlessly on the keyboard, your omnipotent-potent mom who always kept things in order so that you or dad were never late to school or office or your neighborhood 20 something handsome hunk on his sleek motor cycle.......we wanted to be like them at one point of time.

We are impressed with someone or something, for no particular reason. Its the basic human trait to copy, get influenced. We aped the monkey and polished our traits better, and thus; here we are condemning each other, making fun of each other. The traits are within us.

So is it about losing your own self? Your identity? You forget what you are and try to be someone else? Does that hint you are of a weak personality, who lack confidence in you?

Not at all, its after all basic human nature; just as you yawn seeing some one else yawn. Some of the tactics you learn by aping someone actually does you good. It helps you gain a skill, isn't that why you are actually influenced in the first place? Because you liked something and felt good about having the same skill.

Generally the "getting influenced" thing happens mostly in your growing up years when you are a kid. You get attracted towards things that entice you and hence want a part of it. Getting influenced by a cartoon character, by a movie; This happens when you are in no position to judge whats right and whats not.

"I want to be a Spiderman!" yells a kid while bringing both the palms forward and trying to emulate the way Spiderman does to shoot webs from his fingers...."tweetch...tweetch..."

"I want to be a pilot" because your uncle is a pilot.
Few days later, "I want to be a doctor".
Else "I want to be a police officer. Look, how the officer chases the thief and shoots him down. I want such a gun too".
Further down, "I want to be a film actor. They can be doctors and pilots and engineers and police officers as they like. So a film actor!"

But as we grow, our paths become clearer. We know our own pros and cons, we realize that was all a fantasy, part of growing up years. One realizes that one cannot be like his/her teacher. She was unique, a charming persona. The boy realizes he cant be just like his neighborhood hunk...maybe much better than him huh! Why not?

In a culture like ours, where we are molded to be "guided" and with oodles of suggestions and advices, we do get influenced no matter we are young or old.

Getting influenced at work. Trying to imitate a person's working habit. It may not suit all. Many a times, it strikes back and affects you. You cant be someone who you are not, thus bringing down your confidence further down and affecting you overall.

Sometimes, getting influenced can turn you into a disaster. I was always put in a fix whenever I have got influenced. I was under influence of my English teacher's pronunciation at school. So I would emulate her to impress her. Whenever my pronunciation of "education" was EDU-CATION, she would change hers into EJU-CATION and vice-versa. Same thing with "schedule". It was SKEDULE for her when it was SHEDULE for me and vice-versa...My bad luck.

And I have struggled more than once whenever I have tried to copy my friends' eating style. These guys had a large appetite and can gorge in anything like a pig; yet remain slim and fit, thanks to their wonderful metabolic rate. Whereas me, would have to struggle to slim down!!

Getting influenced can turn the events funny and thus make you an object of ridicule. Posted one such event long time ago. Find it here. The gentleman got influenced by the American accent.

Another funny incident of getting influenced happened with my friend.

A colleague of ours at our work place has this habit of adding "y" to few words while speaking. Something like - "I love that thingy".

This colleague and my friend had a cultural practice for one of our events at office on a weekend. Conversing with her had such influence on my friend that at the end of the practice session, he had to change to his pants and shirt and head home. He uttered thus -

"I will be back, have to change my panty!"

Heights of Getting Influenced huh?

Monday, April 27, 2009

You drive me Laazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Yaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...................

My organization has bestowed upon us 5 days of holiday.....Yiieeeppppeeeeeee!
Well, ......yaaaawwwwwwwwwwnnnnn......

Folks, I am very sleepy, so each time I yawn while I am writing this, I am gonna "yawn" here.
For the effect you see.

I slept whole night. Woke up at 9 AM. Read morning's paper. Went back to sleep again. Woke up just now. My cell phone shows the time as 16:28....Hmmm....No food yet... I have this abnormal ability to make myself hungry when I want to, else I can go into hibernation as long as I would like to be. That's unhealthy...yeah....

These are one of those times when....yaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnn.....you just don't wanna do a thing. Nothing at all..Zilch. Lazy to watch TV, lazy to eat, lazy to read. lazy to clean yourself...yeah that Super Laziness. I have DVDs to watch, lotta pending books to read, pending chores to take care of, yet I don't want to do anything.

Yaawwwwwwwwnnn....This was a small one just now.

Yeah, I was telling about the holidays my org has given us all....Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnn........The usual recession effect, 5 days of forced holiday, cost cuts, power....yaaaaaawwwwwwwnnnnnnn....savings.

Its a feel lazy factor for me here. All day at home, bored of same ol' "Air Force One", "Gothika", "Bringing Down the House", "Shall we Dance", "Raising Helen", "Ocean's Eleven", "Epic Movie", "Con Air", "The Rock"..................again and again on TV.

Yawwwwwwwwwwnnnn......

Queen Latifah in a red chiffon and denim micro mini stands seductively on a stair case. Oh, That was the scene that just went by from "Bringing Down the House" as I blog.

I have been...yaawwwwnnnn......doing nothing since 3 days. The past 15 days were very hectic for me, I had to slog on weekends to finish off a critical stuff and I was really looking forward for these holidays. Now that they have come, I am bored.

Mind's blank...yaawwwwnnnn.....the gray and the white matter sleepy, few of them awake to process further signals of "Hit the bed, you *****.

Mind you, the asterisks there are to be replaced with a parliamentary word...no slang huh. As I said, my brain ain't working, so I did not get a proper word to replace over there.

I visited a blog sometime back. There were references of how this particular blogger doesn't approve of poems with no rhyming, blogs with less than 3 paragraphs and other things. Good read. But each one has a different take.

Are there any definite rules for blogging? All I know is that this is a ...yaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnn....place to share what you feel. Few people prefer to keep it short, throw in pictures, few prefer to drag and drag and make a simple one algebraically complex with some cos, theta and calculus thrown in.

I have always been in a dilemma while writing something. How long should this post be? Is this too short? Is it too long? Would this post deviate the reader? Would this be a drag? Oh what about the pictures? They are copy-rights. Can I use them here? And what about the choice of words? Is it gaudy or is it too very sophisticated to fly beyond one's teeny-weeny brain? Can I write this? Is it not offensive? And so on and on and on........

People, read it if you like it else; junk it. Give suggestions and opinions and criticize and praise.

What the heck! Recently, I read a statement by one of the two Google's founders. I don't remember if it were Larry Page or Eric Schmidt. It went something like this - There are about 30 million registered blogger out there. They are their own readers.

You like it, read it, laugh over, post a comment. Else just wander away. There are a group of people who don't respond to the comments they receive. That's very rude and mean. Whaddya expect?

And yes, there are few who are extremes. Who can only praise for every junkie out there; or only criticize for anything and everything.

There are others who remain passive through out, read in and take in everything, get a chance, blow a horn. Passive yet aggressive.

There are others, visitors who visit the blog, don't read a thing. Just come to advertise their stuff. Disgusting!

Oh by the way, I did not yawn for quite some time. But my mind is blank yet. Maybe a hot cuppa would do, the weather is hot, so what? Anytime a hot cuppa.....

PS : Composed this when my brain was sound asleep, so might not make much sense. But comments welcome as always.....

Friday, April 24, 2009

Wickedly Yours...

Dear B Log,

I hope you are healthy and active and are generating decent traffic. I learnt that you have sensible readers who appreciate you and criticize you for the better. Things are fine by me. But there is one stuff that twitches my brain from time to time since few days and its driving me to guilt.

Kids, as you know are very innocent and naive. They are pure in their thoughts and actions, maybe they do commit mischief but those are not intentional. But as a kid, I was wicked. I was cunning and bad. Please let me share my actions with you. It would soothe my heart.

This one happened when I was in my Upper Kindergarten. A girl in my class had a tiny toy which made noise as it snapped. It was to be held in the thumb and to be snapped. I liked it a lot. It was not that I did not ask her to lend it to me. She showed it off but would never let my hands on it. So I devised a plan. When she was away, I stole it and behaved as if nothing happened. When she realized that she lost her toy, she searched in vain and cried. I took secret pride about my successful actions. As soon as I went home that day, I hid it in a closet. My mom noticed it and investigated. She punished me hard and later, I never stole a thing, I did not even take anything from my home without letting my mom know.........Well, at least for few years.

Some other time, I vented out my anger on a friend for denying me what? I don't remember. You want to know what I did? I cut the strap of her new bag! And I seemed happy when she was crying!

I told you I stopped stealing after my mom punished me on the first occasion. Well, that was only for a few years. When I was in grade 3, we started collecting these greeting cards for the fun of it. What started as a fun, went on to become an obsession. We used to exchange cards depending on mutual likings and preferences. It was during one such day that I eyed upon a beautiful card with a friend. She did not part with it. I patiently waited until the class hours ended. We commuted in the same bus. When we were in the bus, I stealthily unbuckled her bag and pulled out the card that I wanted partially; waited for us to alight. When we alighted, I just pulled that one card out, hid it with me. I would have been still a good child had I left it at that. I was fuming at her denial and I pulled out other cards too in such a way that they started falling off from her bag as she walked away. :-(

The most cunning stuff I have ever done is this. I and my class mate would go to the same private tuition where I was the teacher's favorite. To be noted was that I knew her since my lower grade and was quite a close friend. At school, I took advantage of both these facts and would hijack things from her by blackmailing the poor girl that if she denied, I would complain to the tuition teacher. The girl was always scared as the teacher had a reputation of being strict. She would get annoyed about my act but yet would relent. I got my free supply of pencils, erasers etc from her.

These things really make me feel sick about myself as a kid. More than anything, I feel sorry for my actions and want to apologize to these victims. I was very wicked and cunning. But I have grown up now and I am no more the wicked kid. These were the only times I were wicked, but otherwise I was a good child. I hope those girls would not mind now.

Hmmm....finally; I shared these thoughts with you and I can be peaceful henceforth.

Wickedly yours,
Insignia.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

India's Natural Wonders

If you thought that I am going to list India's natural monument or landscapes or a natural site then you are in for a surprise!

I am not denying the fact that there are no such wonders in India. India's vast and uniqueness has no dearth for such natural wonders. We actually have them abundant. But my list is a bit hatke.

1. Speed Breakers

You don't require to manufacture them and don't need man power to maintain them on our lovely Indian roads. They are available for free and are mobile!! Yes they are none other than stray dogs and cattle on our roads roaming aimlessly and thereby providing a natural speed breaker.


Image from lpc1.clpccd.cc.ca.us/lpc/torf/geog2.htm

2. Graffiti with organic paints

Graffiti are an artist's way of expression. They are abstract, yet beautiful, some times rebellious yet subtle. But one thing that we Indians differ is we are environment conscious. So no synthetic but paints that are organic and environment friendly. Just simple.
Chew the pan or the betel leaves and lime, just spit the red liquid all over the road and on the newly painted wall. Its trendy and low cost. See you created a mind-boggling graffiti.

Image from http://www.indiamike.com/india/chai-and-chat-f73/best-cities-in-india-t30299/

3. Rhythmic music

India is the land of Carnatic and Hindustani classical. Its the birth place of great musicians like Tansen and many others. Its the cradle of many musical instruments like the Veena, Tabla etc. But what can beat the incomprehensible utterances that is definitely music but we are not intelligent enough to grasp them. I am talking about the various phonetics that people utter when they are frustrated, annoyed and angry.

Cheeeeeeeeeeee........ - Annoyance
Oyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......Hooooooooiiiii............ - To call out loud in a crowd
Aaaaaaaahhh................Thoooooooooooo......... - To lower a person's esteem/scold

These are best understood when heard in those specific situation.

4. Pee-ntain

This one is an errr.....natural fountain. Awww, come on, the guys are helping clean our streets and walls. You see, someone needs to wash away the graffiti isn't it? For free......... Anytime and anywhere......Yes, attending nature's call in full public view. Reliving oneself without a care for the world. Yeah its fine! as I said, they are helping the environment by saving precious water which could be used for better life saving purposes than go wash a graffiti on the wall.


Image from photos.ibibo.com/.../2997690

5. Aroma therapy

Why spend thousands of rupees to go to a spa or an ayurvedic holistic center? Get onto the streets you lazy folks. Its therapeutic. Which aroma you may ask? The point that its a combination of all in equal proportions that makes it uber rare and expensive!!! Rotten organic waste, feces, sweat, synthetic wastes everything combined to give a rich odor that you cant forget the pleasant experience forever! therapeutic and free!!!

Image from greensomethings.typepad.com/green_somethings/

Monday, April 20, 2009

INDI-gnity

Well, yes, I was a mute spectator hearing to the ignorant and appalling conversation of two middle-aged (un)gentlemen. I am not sure if I could have changed the situation for good.

I take the public transport to commute to office and home. On my way back to home after work, the buses are crowded. Typical evening on a weekday as in a crowded Indian city when people run hither-thither and always n a hurry. My commute most days are uneventful because of the fact that my ipod is on with volume just enough to sail me away from the chaos and noise in the bus.

But that day, I plugged out my earphone to hear what the commotion was all about. A young girl probably in early 20s was shouting at a man. He seemed to be in his mid-50s. As you know, there is a problem always in a crowded bus when guys hijack the place meant for women. The women folks have to bear the brunt of having boarded a crowded bus, what would they do? They need to get home to tend to their family after a hard day at office!
The situation was something like this - the girl felt the man was moving closer towards the girl, intentionally or unintentionally was not the issue. The issue was the girl was feeling awkward and thus politely asked him to stand a bit farther.
The man just started shouting, making a scene of it. It was obvious that what the girl told made sense. The guy was disregardful towards her, which she could not take anymore and started giving it back. Now, would a typical Indian alpha male having a pseudo-quasi egotism keep put? No! Never ever! His attitude was even more callous to the fact that he started pointing out how the young girls of this generation lack respect and culture sense. The girl yelled back asking the man to treat her with respect.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that he was not alone. There was one more man who was also in his mid-50s who was fueling his conspiracy. The outrageous thing was that the folks around witnessing the conversation were asking the girl to suppress and to act respectfully towards those men but no one asked these two men to stop bad-mouthing and behave with respect towards her.

Did these guys keep quiet once she alighted from the bus? NO. That's when their sheer ignorance came to picture. Sample this.

Person 1 : You know, these girls have all spoilt. They don't respect their parents at home too. Why would they? As soon as they are out of college, they get into call centres and earn good money.

Person 2: Yes. They feel they are independent and act according to their whims and fancies. Look at the dresses these girls wear. Their attitude is shocking.

Person 1: We did not have an easy life like them!

And this continued so on.....

Today's generation may want to ask what easy life are they talking about? Are they not aware of the pressure these guys face? Don't they know the struggle these people go through to earn whatever money the so-called Call Centres pay them? The stress to perform, working during nights and eating at odd-hours, disturbing the biological clock and hence the health! What do they mean by independence and attitude! Are they not proud that this generation handles struggle with poise, go through the grind and yet appear cool and chilled out!

This attitude is the one that makes these men jealous! They cant handle the fact that the girls and women are being independent. They cant take in the fact that today's generation can stand up, take on the world by storm.

Didn't they understand what they lacked when the girl handled the undignified behaviour all by herself with no one to support her?

Friday, April 17, 2009

A wonderful gesture

I am in a mood to write today. Sometime back, I had written about the harsh and corrupt behaviour of auto rickshaw drivers in Bangalore. You can find the post here.

Well, you know there are lots of good people around. I encountered one such person today morning. The rickshaw driver was polite in asking for an extra 10 Rs(unlike the usual harsh bashing "10 Rs extra kodi madam") as he had to go further 2 kms before finding someone who would hire the rickshaw. I told him that I would give only Rs 5 and as I alighted from the rickshaw and gave him the money, he was so happy.

He gushed with a broad grin "Thank you madam. Have a nice day!"

Wooohhooo, did I hear that right? There were so many days when my mood was down due to their behaviour. But today was different. Hmm....happy happy.

My Most Embarrassing Moments

How many times have you thought "I wish I could just vanish into thin air".
Those mortifying moments when you want to bury your head deep underground like an ostrich.

Embarrassing moments stand out in our memories, don't they? I have been through sticky moments many a time. But there are few of them which stands out etched deep

This happened when I was in school in class 5. The event was Annual School day and I participated in a dance show. Being a dance show, I was all decked up with Lehenga, jewelery and pancakes on my face. Soon after the cultural programs was the prize distribution ceremony. I was to pick up 2 prizes. The names were called out, as my name was announced, I ran near the stage and climbed on the stairs to get near the gentleman who was giving away the prizes. There were around 5-6 important people all seated on the stage. As I walked, I stepped on my Lehenga and tripped and fell flat on the stage. Next what I heard were roars of laughter, cat calls. I got up, did not dare to see anyone, flicked my prize and ran away.
I did not go up to collect my second prize when my name was called.

One more incident also incidentally involves Lehenga. I started working pretty early, when I was around 17 years. Worked as a teaching staff at a computer training institute. Being a private institute, the students were from all ages - 15 to 50. I worked part-time and one evening, my mom insisted that I wear a particular outfit. Her justification was that I was ignoring the dress for quite sometime and I must wear it that day. Any explanation that I was going for my work and that I was a teaching staff worked out. As it was, I was the youngest staff and the students found it absurd to be learning from someone as young as me. I faced lots of ridicule and rejections as their ego did not let them take instructions from a girl who looked like a 5th grader. My mom would not listen, she was stubborn. And guess what? The outfit was the Pattu pavadai and blouse. As it was silk, the cloth was elaborate with golden border and patterns and the colours rich. The picture below is what a Pattu pavadai is.


I wore it to work and I dared not get out of the staff room. Entire staff was glaring at me as if I were a little girl and they even wondered for a moment if they had by mistake hired an under-age! Few students who could get a sneak peek were amused as well. It was so humiliating.

One more incident that left me red-faced was during my college days. We went back to college once the college re-opened for the fifth semester. That was third year of engineering. I and my friend were sitting during a break; outside the class room where the next lecture was going to be held. A young, tall, handsome guy passed by us. We checked him out, commented loud so that he can hear us, laughed away and forgot about it. We thought he might be a 1st year freshmen. After the break, we got into our classroom for the next lecture - File Systems. Here walks in the young, tall, handsome guy. He looked at both of us and we just wanted to sneak under the chairs and vanish! I must add that he was really a good lecturer and was soon liked by all the students.

There are few events which happen most days in your life. I get sort of panicky when I get into malls and the restrooms there have designer taps. They turn all sides but don't release water. I am not sure if there's something wrong with me that I cant understand the elite and complicated design. Turning them all sides, no water. Think the thing does not work and move onto next wash sink and the same happens there. Someone else watching me struggle comes to my rescue. The first thing I did when I checked into a hotel in CA was to check the taps. I panicked that there were no water supply and called the maintenance. I was like "Oh my! They say things in USA is so perfect and the first thing I encounter is a room with no water facility!". The guy came over and checked that everything was fine. I dread to imagine what he would have thought about me. Maybe what a country idiot!

Another classic awkward moment for me was when I used to go shopping with my mom. Ladies are known to bargain. But the way my mom does, and the war of words exchanged with the salesmen, I don't want to be part of the embarrassment anymore and later I chose to stand far away from her so that I would be the first to run out just in case.....

Another disconcerted moment happened recently. We friends from the swimming class decided to lunch together. I and my friend realized that we did not have enough cash with us. I told her not to worry as I carried my debit and credit card and that we can find a ATM and withdraw some money. Unfortunately my debit card was faulting and the card was not being recognized by any ATMs. I thought it was fine as I could use my credit card to withdraw some money. But alas!, I have never used my credit cards to withdraw money anytime earlier and so did not bother to know the PIN number. I somehow consoled my friend saying that we can use the card to pay the bill. At the end of the lunch, each one paid their amount and my friend and me were like....eeeks...it was so abashed. I caught myself and informed that I would pay for me and my friend with the card and so we pass the money and the card for the payment. Remaining amount to be debited from my card. But another friend passed on her card and she paid ours too and later I transferred the money to her account. I should learn to have some hard cash with me henceforth.

There are lots more, but I need to get into damage control mode. Enough of self-humiliation. So what was the most embarrassing moment for you folks?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

On a lighter note

Few funny stuffs I received as forwards. I thought why not share them if its going to tickle some funny bones. And please note that there's nothing personal and no offense.

A SHORT STORY

Ramya was about to leave office after finishing her work. She got a call from her husband Karthik,

RAMYA: "Hello, yes Karthi".
KARTHIK: "Ramya, can you open my gmail and get a print out of the mail from that US consultant I forgot to take it in my office"
RAMYA: "Yes, I can, I need your password"
KARTHIK: "jeni22091980"
RAMYA: "Ok fine"

She takes the print out and logs out. Some thought struck her mind now.
JENI happens to be his college mate. Hmmm...

She decides not to discuss this with Karthik. She simply opens her mail box and changes the password from "mohan143" to "karthikramya" and leaves for home!
MORAL OF THE STORY: Change your password! NOW!

********************************************************************************

Japanese Prime Minister's English skills

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!

A few years ago, Japanese Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets President Bill Clinton...

The instructor told Mori, the Japanese Prime minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'
Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you...????'
Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards the translators, will do the work for you.'

It looks quite simple, but the truth is...

When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said
'WHO are you?' (instead of 'HOW are you'?'. )

Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...'

Then Mori replied
'Me too, ha-ha..haaaa...'.

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room

********************************************************************************

Tears

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee,
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes! I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.
"Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said,
'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,

"I would have been released today!"

*******************************************************************************

QUOTES

1. Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, forgot laughter were called

"Saints"

But now they are called..

"IT professionals"

2. An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:

" If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"

3. Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present..

Its just that,

One loves too much, and

The other loves too many,

4.Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!

5. Philosophy of life

At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,

Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

6. What is a Fear?

Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach

When pages of your book still smell new

and

Just few hours left for your exams..!

7. Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"

No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!

8. Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?

Shopkeeper: Oh sure...! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"

Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!

9. After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an opening for you..!

Applicant: What is it?

Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"

*******************************************************************************
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile..... somewhere, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached Safely
Date: 21 st July, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and we are allowed to send e-mails to our loved ones. I've just reached safely and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was .........

*******************************************************************************
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
'Dear Lord:
I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.
I want her to know what I go through.
So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.
Amen!'

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, Awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then, it was already 01P.M.
And he hurried to make the beds, Do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework.
Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher, Folded laundry, Bathed the kids, And put them to bed.

At 09 P.M .
He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: -
'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking.
I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.

Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back.

Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You'll just have to wait nine months, though.

You got pregnant last night.'

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

White Blanket all around!!!

Few pictures from my trip to Lake Tahoe, California a year ago. I have no appropriate phrases to describe how I felt when I saw real snow for the first time in my life. Seen snow covered mountains and roads in movies, eyes wide awake gasping if such beauty ever existed!

The best phrase from my limited dictionary is HEAVENLY BLISS. I know I am not giving it due credit but I am really short of words.

These pictures I am sure would make your day too!


Very first sight of snow. Snow capped hills all around. I could not get enough of them and could not believe what I was witnessing.


A Pine tree with snow covered leaves. I got reminded of Christmas in India and the cotton spread over Christmas trees to create a false impression of snow


Miles and miles around, it was only a white blanket


I just loved this sparing spread of snow on the rocks


Got reminded of a picture on a Christmas Greeting card?


People skiing

Lake Tahoe. The water was pristine, clear blue. We sneaked into a private property to get the lake all to ourselves. Sshhhhh! But it was worth the risk! The place was calm, is this what they call the moment of ultimate joy and serenity



This picture is not mine. I took the liberty of posting this snapped by a friend of mine He snapped this while on his way to Grand Canyon. The first impression as I saw this picture was "Is this for real?" It was something out of a fantasy land. I got reminded of the movie Polar Express.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Make someone smile

The week is going to be a long one, hectic and tiring.

With these thoughts, I entered the wash room to groom myself before I got into my cube to face a daunting tasks ahead. I was early and the janitor had not yet done with her wash room maintenance. I did not care to acknowledge her presence, my mind full of tasks in hand for the week. As I did with my wash and grooming, I picked up my laptop, hand bag and a carry bag and headed towards the door. I was about to struggle with the door handle to open it when she opened the door for me. I acknowledged her gesture and smiled at her while saying "Thank you".

Guess this was unexpected of me. This simple gesture brought a 100 watt smile on her face and she gushed "OK Madam". What amount of happiness this brought to her!!! I walked away feeling a sense of joy to have made someone happy.

Then realized, how many of my "I am sorry" outwits the number of "Thank you" each day and was ashamed of it.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

80s Jingles revisited

WARNING : Read this only if you are absolutely free and have the strength for all the nonsensical blabbering.

I and Gautam talked as usual online yesterday. Suddenly, he recalled we were discussing about Lambretta a couple of days back. Thus began our recital of old Jingles....the 80s ones - complete with music and BGMs.

The Bajaj Scooter where the tune of the song is patriotic

me: :) so whats with the scooter
i still recall the
"nayi bharath ki nayi tasveer...hamaara bajaj"
gautam: hamaara bajaj... hamara bajaj...
me: :)
gautam: the two echos that follow
:-)

I recalled the Pepsi ad

me: yeah yeah
the other one.......pepsi
yehi hai right choice baby...aaahaaa

And then Gautam relieved the Nirma washing powder ad. This was really hilarious as I had to feel the music as he logically explained it

gautam: hmmm
washing powder nirma. washing powder nirma. doodh ki safedi... nirma se aai... rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaaye... sabki pasand nirma... washing powder nirma... (and waiting for the finishing touch from you)
in caps please
if you may
me: NIRMA!
gautam: ha ha ha ha
me: AND THE TRRRIIINGGG
gautam: thank you
me: sound later
gautam: i think it was a ting
without the R
me: oh yeah..
gautam: not sure
it might be a tring also
me: hmmmm
gautam: multiple keyboard keys na tring. single key na ting...
:-p

His logic of whether it was a TRING or a TING made me sigh!

me: ayyyyoooooooooooooooooo
raaama

To which, he tagged a song....

gautam: ye kya hua
tum aise hame satane lage

Which rang a bell to me. I have heard these lines somewhere

me: i am awe struck by your logical sense
which is this one?
gautam: what?
hay rama ye kya hua
me: this is the song
cha
gautam: rangeela
me: rangeela
gautam: ha ha ha

Again back to our advertisements. I recalled Zandu balm ad where a mom hits the bed with back pain and the daughter rubs a pain balm

me: do you remember this one
gautam: hmm lets see
me: "zandu balm zandu balm peeda haari balm ....sardi sardard peeda ko kshan mein door kare..."
remaining lines from you
gautam: jhandu baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalm. jhandu baam.
note the missing l
me: very good.....100/100
oh what missed?
gautam: intricacy for you
and if i may...
me: please
gautam: i think it is pal me door kare
me: oh is it?
gautam: not sure
me: hmmm maybe
gautam: ha ha ha ha
what a discussion!

Gautam suddenly recalled the Mile Sur Mera Tumhara that would be aired on DD. It still is aired and I tune on to Doordarshan only to watch this.

gautam: nimma dvaniye namma dhvaniya... seridanthe namma dhvaniya... :-)
me: wow..i love that song
do you have it with you?
gautam: nope...
me: ende swaramum ningalude swaramum otru sendhu nammude swaramaai
gautam: kare sur jo tari maro bane aapno soor niharo
maja tumja jhud ka taara, madhur swarnajda barasthi taara
me: :)
sur ki nadiya har disha se behke saagar mein mile
baadlo ko roop leke barse halke halke
gautam: badala kaa roo oo oo p leke
no no
you are missing it
ilukanum pa(You need to drag the words)
me: oh...sari sari...
gautam: and see
it ia baadal
ya
me: hmmmm
gautam: but badala ka roo oo oo p leke
barasane hole hole
wow!

Gautam went on to "type" the music along with that song; while visualizing the scenes.

gautam: dil/man ka dariya behke sagar me mile...
badala ka roo oo p laake...
barsane hole hole
that lady with ghunghat
super!
toiiiin toiiiin toiiin toiiiin toin
toiiiin toiiiin toiiin toiiiin toin
toiiiin toiiiin toiiin toiiiin
toiiiin toiiiin... toiiin toiiiin...
toiiiin toiiiin... toiiin toiiiin...
here it comes
nimma dhvaniye namma dhvaniya
ha ha ha
ne swaramu na swaramu sangamamai
mana swaranga avatarinchi

gautam: isaidaal nam
iruvarum suravum namakkahum

I had to ask him what the "toiiin...toiin...s were.

me: whts that toiin toiin?
oh music hmmm
gautam: ha ha
me: :)
gautam: note two iis and one i in specific places
and imagine the music
till you feel it
:-)
me: hmmmmm
:-))
gautam: and note the ....s also
in the right places and think accordingly
me: s?? where
wait
gautam: ... dot dot dot
me: haan haan
gautam: when the music fades

I told him that I would blog this conversation

me: :)
wait i will blog this
two mad folks speaking music
gautam: no damage please... ha ha ha
people will think i am mad
i would not expect everyone to understand what i am saying
ha ha ha ha
me: people will think we are mad
thats ok...
gautam: but to be a co star in an episode of your series would be an honour.
:-p
me: ada ada ada.......
gautam: yenna yedo seigirai

Oh yeah, we went back to our 80s advertisements. This time it was Nirma Beauty soap

me: hey do you remember?
soundarya saabun nirma?
gautam: hmmm
me: woh khili khili
gautam: sir seher seher woh janejahan tum chali kahan?
i am absolutely not sure
i wonder why i put that seher'
ha ha ha ha ha ha
me: soundarya saabun nirma

Next it was Vicco Turmeric

gautam: vicco turmeric
me: ok here's one more...
gautam: nayi cosmetic
vicco turmeric ayurvedi cream
after this i am not sure

me: (chorus) Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic Cream!
(female) Tvacha ki raksha karey, antiseptic cream
Roop ko sanvarey, nikharey har dam!
Haldi aur chandan ka anokha sangam!
(chorus) Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic Cream,
Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic Cream!
:-)
gautam: ha ha ha ha
super!!!
me: hehehehe
gautam: hmm

We moved to Lifebuoy :-)

gautam:
zindagi ki raksha karta hai lifebuoy
lifebuoy he jahan
me: thandrust hain wahan
gautam: tandurusti hei wahan
me: LIFEBuoooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyy
gautam: ha ha ha ha

We recalled how in those days we used to wait for the sunday 5 PM movie, sit in front of the TV and watch all these advertisements.

gautam: is karyakram ke prayojak the
one huge list
that goes on for 5 minutes
phew!!!
10 mins movie
10 mins ads
wow!
how did we even survive that?
ha ha ha ha
me: i really waited each weekend for that
5 o clock movie
gautam: ha ha ha
ya ya
i know!
me: but im in front of TV at 4
watching all ads

Hmmm...We were recalling many more advertisements...But Gautam had to hit the bed and I had other works. But we promised to continue this madness later.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Whats in a Lady's bag?

A Lady's Bag is a plethora of information. Its a book. When I say this, you might wonder or shudder with shock and displeasure. Why I am saying this is because you can learn a lot about the woman by knowing the contents in her bag. If there are loads of personal grooming accessories, she is a lady who wants to look attractive and presentable at most times. If you find a music player, she is sure a music buff and hearing to music relaxes her. If you find a knitting kit, she sure loves her hobby. The bag can also talk loads about her character, orderly or cluttered, confused or calm.

I did read somewhere sometime back that exploring a person's purse/bag can reveal the true identity and a prospective candidate for employment could be judged thus.

And that's why this book is secretive and off-limits for most people. A privileged few do get to glance a couple of pages. But I thought I would reveal the secret.

Sincere apologies to all the ladies who have maintained the secrecy all this while.

You see, I couldn't help it. Last week, a couple of women laughed at the contents of my bag. Yes you read that right. Ladies laughed at the contents and not once but on two occasions on the same day. After the swimming session, someone asked for a moisturiser and I offered it. Later, someone else asked for a pain balm and I offered it. Now tell me, is that a crime!!!

At lunch, a friend exclaimed that I had "You name it and she has it" stuff and wondered what else was in my bag. And to make matters funny, my friend blabbered out naively thus

"Yeah she has lots of necessary things in her bag. You know the other day; I was having loose motion and she readily had a tablet for that"

Uggghhhh! It was a wrong time - we were having lunch!. Anyways, I managed to cover the gaffe by saying that I carried general medicines along with me.

So coming to whats in a lady's bag. Let me bullet out what ALL I carry. By the way I have a small but nice collection of bags - totes, slings, large ones...

What have I got in my bag? Its a long saga...Don't fret or fume!

# Purse/Wallet - My purse is a mini clutch. It has very very little money(I am poor!), a couple of plastic cards - debit which is a waste as most of the time there's very less money in my account and credit - all swiped away to glory till I reach the limit. A couple of photos of mine - stamp size and passport size. Just in case you see. Also my ID, PAN card(the unique account number for tax purposes in India for the uninitiated folks), my business cards, a couple of old receipts which I clean and throw away regularly.

# Music player. Its an Apple iPod Nano 1 GB which I bought on my first trip to US. Its 3 years old now. Its my companion when I commute; loaded with my favourite songs. 1 GB is very small capacity though!

# A scarf - Cant manage my loose hair, so a scarf helps
# A couple of chargers - PDA charger, ipod charger
# A pen - sometimes 2 pens - a black and a blue

# A neatly folded carry bag - In case I might have to carry extra stuff unplanned; I don't want to roam around hunting for one.

# chewing gum or few candies
# A comb
# Sun block - New addition after I began swimming
# Moisturiser
# Face wash
# Face cream
# Lip gloss
# Bindi
# A hair band - just in case
# Tissues/Wet Tissues
# Sprain spray
# Pain balm
'# Paracetamol
# Antacid
# Eye Drops - Very much required for the nature of job most of us are in
# Loperamide - anti diarrhea
# House key, office key, security device for Internet banking
# An adhesive - I have had nasty experiences of my delicate footwear giving me hard times.
# Food coupons
# Loose coins
# PDA
# Work ID
# A Sun glass
# Hair clips and Safety pins - For the worse
# A pen drive
# A Deo/Perfume
# A
towelette
# My Sony W55 Cyber-shot Digital Camera
# Bus tickets and old receipts which I trash regularly.

The following don't occupy permanent place in my bag

# Camera's USB connector
# Cheque book - usually in the beginning of the month to clear away financial commitments.
# Lip stick - very rare as I don't use it
# If my bag is a tote, then a book. I read a lot.
# Umbrella if its a rainy season

I have successfully avoided carrying food - stuffs like fruits, a couple of biscuits and such.

And no, don't expect me to share a photo of my bag and its contents. Its cluttered to the core and I despise to flaunt it.

Hmmm secrets unleashed. Most women carry these things. They are basic necessities. We women prepare ourselves! Oh I sense someone thinking it as a paranoia?

What say? Is it planning or is it paranoia?

Monday, April 6, 2009

My legacy

Now that my swimming classes were done with, I found myself free on Saturday after about 2 months. It was a lazy day and with nothing much to do, I went around digging my room to kill time; taking breaks in between my regular maniac routine of reading.

Snuggled in a corner of my wardrobe was this.


Its a churidar pyjama. Blue in color. By the way its MY pyjama; used to wear them when I was 2-3 years old. I vaguely remember the kurta. It had laced embroidery on it. Its in a bad condition a bit with stitches out and bruises; yet its magnificent.

I was awe struck seeing this garment. I cant even fit my hands into these leggings now. It was a nice feeling. Was I so tiny then? Did I really fit into this garment? Yeah I can recall I did. It was a bit loose then.

I have diligently preserved this piece of garment for 23 years now and would do for the rest of my life. I would want to show this cloth to kids around me when I am ripen old and tell them "I was a kid just like you honey bunches many many years ago"

:-)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Taking things for granted

I just got thoughtful for a moment today morning. I mean, I do get thoughtful most of the time but for nonsensical reasons mostly. This time however, something struck me.

As I walk into my office building every morning; I see janitors mopping away the floor. Today, I saw a lady who was rubbing hard the metal beading on the lift floor entrance. She was not using any mops with handles which could have made her job easy, she was using a piece of cloth and was rubbing hard with her hands; she was kneeling down.

That was when I realized how we take things for granted. Simple things, basic things....its natural isn't it? As in, each day, I walk into my office, hop onto the lift and get to my work. I have not one day wondered how could the lift be so clean, the side panels, the lift floor and as I enter my cube, my things are organized, my docking station neatly placed, my trash can emptied, my phone, my stationery orderly kept, my empty coffee cups disposed. I just cant get to think how I left it last evening, all messy; now its speck less. I don't think for a moment what hard work has gone behind these orderliness.

How we take things for granted? The daily sunshine, the sunset, the rain, the sky, the water, the night, the stars, the thunderstorm, the nature, our family, our friends, our pets, our jobs, our home, each breathe we take in, our body, our well-being, our country..............Things have worked in a way, we expect it to work the same everyday; water flowing out of your taps when you turn them on, your lights burning when you turn on the switch, your bus arrival on time when you wait for it....

Human beings have that magical capability to get annoyed if things go wrong. But do we really take a second and appreciate the good things that we are showered with? I am no saint. I crib about my family, my job. How shameful of me! The next moment I do think of people who have lost their job in these tough times. Am I not blessed to have mine? Think of people who don't have a family. Am I not much better.....

We are annoyed we are fat, but how blessed we are to have good health. We smoke, we drink, we abuse our body and still its patient with us. Why do we take it for granted?

Parents are old-fashioned to the kids and kids are way too bold to the parents. Isn't it natural to complain? Parents say "Your time is easy. We provide for you all. We didn't have all these facilities that you are showered with". But do they realize the competition and the survival instinct the kids develop in this dog-eat-dog world?

Kids say parents are old. They didn't struggle as kids do now. It was lot easier back then. They don't understand what we go through. But don't you realize how blessed you are that they provided you with basics and a good education that has empowered you with thoughts and intellectuals?

We blame the government. Can we do anything other than complaining? Government is corrupted and so on. Do we think how privileged we are to live in a democracy where you can spew fire over the government, blame them freely, have freedom to express your thoughts. Hmm, thought what would happen if you lived in a country where you cant blabber what you want, freedom of expression curbed?

One can go on and on...The list is endless. As things are available with just a snap of your finger, we fail to notice its importance, we take things nonchalantly. Oh yeah, its well there and its well going to remain. YOU CANT SEE IT ANYMORE. When things become familiar to us, we lose interest; its frivolous, the mystery that it held once no more entices us. When was the last time we enjoyed a sunset? Or felt the rain drops on your skin? When was the last time we appreciated the beauty of a flower?

Thought anytime what would happen if you wake up one morning and figure out you have lost visual power? Anything could happen in a flash of a second.

We work hard, we dream to buy a car. How excited we are to have bought the first car, clean the car everyday, protect it from the rain and the sun. Then its there with you. You have lost interest. The mean machine loses its charm as its familiar now. Most of us feel the same with our family, friends. They are there and hence you are bored. Think what would happen to you if they were not there just for 5 minutes. How shocked would we be to feel boiling water flowing from your tap when you expected cold water? Or how annoyed we would be to get a no signal when we switch on our TV?

What happens if the sun did not rise for a day. What happens if your skin loses its sense of feel? What happens if you are given a pink slip? What happens if an earth-quake occurs or there's a flash flood? Your home that you complained would seem cozy then.

But the irony is we get bored by the very things that used to excite us once upon a time. The once new hobby that you pursued astutely, your boy friend, your pet....is that due to the expectation and then the disappointment thenceforth?

What are we taking for granted at this very moment? Right now, I expect my keyboard keys to respond well as I type this.....i expect my eyes to get adjusted to the monitor glare.....

Why don't we count our blessings and be thankful?

Lets remember.......

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