Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Corporate Priest

Have you any time wondered what it is to have all those quality and performance measurement goals of corporate world applied to a common man with a merge earning to feed himself?

We have all those jazzy terms to make our life complicated. What can you do if someone intends to make it complicated? Service level agreements, performance, appraisals, quality metric blah..blah..blah....

These terms were invented for the sole purpose of not giving someone something that they rightly deserve. I truly believe so. Anyway these thoughts struck me after visiting a temple. It was about - What if a priest went to work for corporate world?

What is his qualification?
His caste? Maybe, maybe not. 

What are his skill sets to be on this job?
A couple of lines of Sanksrit chants. You may not even know if he is uttering them right!

What are his development plans?
Whats that? 

How regularly is he updating his skills?
Nothing of that kind. 

What are his people management skills?
Smile at devotees/small talk/distribute prasadams...

What are his operational activities?
Perform poojas, chant mantras, offer prasadams....anything else?

What are the SOPs he follows? Who lays down those SOPs?
Errr.....came up with funny ideas.

What are his cross functional activities?
Communicate to God, interface with Devotees...

What are the appraisal metrics on which he is assessed?
People management, YoY donation collection from Devotees.

Bonus? Perks? 
Closer proximity to God. He can now access God's jewelery? 

Such a simple job, but look how complicated a corporate world can make :)


  1. I loved this line "These terms were invented for the sole purpose of not giving someone something that they rightly deserve. "...hats off to you for writing that. I hope more people read it. I'd been a victim to that and it totally sucks.
    By the way, fun read :)

  2. This was wonderful imagination and fun read..But in the end the meaning you've conveyed is so very true..

  3. yes Now I can understand why i am so confused all the time its all this corporate pallava :)

    I tagged you..


  4. Lol.. Well said. Instead of appraising some one for all the efforts he has put for a whole year, they make him feel his contribution is not worth while.

  5. Sounds like a tough world .
    Hey B, I am being restricted on many sites because the alert says that my comp IP is infected by some virus so every time for accessing the sites i need to confirm that i am not a robot .They also suggest me a virus scan everyday for two weeks .phew . i scan my comp daily and the scans come out clear everytime.
    And also many bloggers have informed me that my comments are landing up on spam .
    What do you think ?

  6. Good one. You have related it s well.

  7. Hi B,
    Ar last I could retrieve my google accounts. But no emails come into my gmail anilkurup59, except spam into the spam box.Any suggestion?

    Well good piece of thought. I agree with your observations. May be I'm peeved that I'm not an IIM product, but I get disgusted with much of these snobbish phrases.
    "Its a challenging job", the cliché goes. My foot talking such nonsense to a man who is struggling to sustain!!!!

    By far the priest has a comfy job, because he is interacting to a icon that is moribund and dose not talk back!!

  8. Very interesting.
    But, on a serious note--Marwari companies have Pandit's performing and advising regularly.

  9. hehe That was a funny analysis. Between you and me, I think most priests are dhongis.

  10. Very well thought.. Loved this post.

    now back to being a corporate wus....

  11. Anita,

    :-) But there is no escape right? :)


    :-) Thank you


    Hahaha thanks Bik


    Thanks Shilpa :)


    Exactly! You are asked not for how many holes you filled, but why you left that one hole unfilled :)


    :-) It is Kavita :)
    Let me mail you on your spam stuff.


    :-) Thank you.


    Let me address that in email Anil. I think I know why everything goes to spam

    Haha yeah the priest's job is easy :)

    Chowla sir,

    Yup! and the Bollywood too


    :-) Haha


    Thank you. :-)


I'd love to know what you thought :-) Please shoot!