Thursday, March 1, 2012

Help and Friends

Though 'help' and 'friends' are synonymous to one another; they don't always have to go hand in hand isn't it? Help comes from remotely ever imagined manner if you really are in need of it - from a stranger let's say. They are gone even before you turn around to thank them.

Yesterday evening, while I was commuting back home; the auto driver saw another auto driver standing helpless on the road. I guess he understood what his problem would be because this guy did not ask him any question but just nodded in approval; the other fellow pushed his auto and jumped to his seat. The most innovative way of towing happened; or rather nudging I should say. The auto driver in which I was started kicking/pushing the auto while he exposed his left leg outside. In that way, the kinetic energy of the auto in motion got transferred to his leg and he pushed the auto which had a break down. So this happened for 2 kms where the auto steadily was kicked and it picked speed.Once the gas station neared this guy directed him and just picked speed; did not even wait for a thank you. Now I don't know if they have that autowallah bhai-bhai feeling; it still was impressive to me.

That was the HELP part. Now the FRIENDS part. Friends are not supposed to keep track of helps and lending a shoulder to cry isn't it? After all, we are friends! So friends, friends appropriately forget the help done in cash, kind or deed. Your pokes, pings, mails go unheard. They flaunt their celebrations, travel to exotic places and have expensive wine and gourmet food but they don't find a minute to try to keep in touch. Hell!! I am not jealous even when they cozy up with once-upon-a-time enemies who made their life grumpy! It does not hurt me even a wee bit if they ignore your attempt to reaching out.

I have a bad habit of sniping off contacts in any form once I feel bitter. Now that's bad. No wonder my friends list on FB does not cross 100. I cant help it; I believe it takes lot of dedication and trust to earn a friendship and equally to maintain it. If not; its just not worth!

31 comments:

  1. social sites are too trivial to bother about. For me, if a person wants to remain in touch, he wouldn't bother about the sites, he would simply pick up the phone and talk to you.

    the autowala anecdote is indeed very interesting.

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    1. Exactly! My point is if one can have so much of time to be on numerous social sites; they definitely will have time to pick the phone to give a call/respond to mails.

      Anyway, I am old school maybe

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  2. The auto thing Insi,most often they share that gesture..

    The second one touched me so much manily coz' I was thinking about the same today.

    "I believe it takes lot of dedication and trust to earn a friendship and equally to maintain it. If not; its just not worth!"-This is what I am talking about.I don't know if you are talking in first person there.It can be read like "It takes lot of dedication and understanding to earn 'our' friendship.I have my 'ego' honestly Insi,though I may not show that often.But trust me,I love being myself...! Have 6 FRIENDS so far in life..Cheers on you being you !

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    1. Same here Melange. I am a very humble person but my ego flares up when I feel people dont value my friendship.

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  3. Hey,Btw your header picture looks so mysterious and beautiful to watch..!

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    1. Thanks :) Its Dambulla Cave temple in SL :)

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  4. You are right when you say that Insignia, We have this habit that people who are saying hello or pinging us or wanting to have a talk We ignore them all the time ..

    Friendship comes with a lot of responsibility and is one relation which should never be taken for granted. We in our constant run towards something forget that sometimes our little actions may hurt someone whom we called a friend or who called us a friend..

    WE sometimes think maybe the other will take the step and forget that so can we , we can say hello too sometimes.

    I dont have a SINGLE friend in UK and by that i mean friend as you know my definition of friend, So i know how it is. I try to keep up with everyone and sometimes I make a fool of myself too and embarass myself thinking that maybe what i think about my friend they think the same too BUT have got it thrown back at my face a few times now..

    yes it takes a lot of dedication and trust and work to make it work, and as i mentioned first friendship comes with a lot of responsibility.

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    1. Its not really necessary to cozy up Bik. Its not possible with our fast lifestyle. But once in a while phone call or an email would cheer you up that your dear friend still thinks about you.

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    2. YEah thats what i said once in a while a hello hi or email as you say .. otherwise it means that friendship till now was all a drama.. I know in this fast paced life no one has time ..

      Yeah once in a while a fone call does do the trick for sure

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  5. IT's more that the autowalas beleive and would do anything for their clad. That's why we have auto driver associations in India..You know when I was a kid (until I was in college), I used to believe in quantity of friends rather than quality. I found so much proud in telling people that I have 50 good friends and atleast 20 close friends. And friendship just happened to me very quickly and stayed..din't know if it was because I was very sociable or whatsoever. But as I started to move onto a job..I started to realise that most of them are just passing clouds.
    That said, I still believe in the fact that real friendship does not expect you to contact them daily and give any update. I have never spoken to a friend for about 10 years, and picked up the conversation just like that the moment I saw her.

    After marriage, I found some friends moving away and when my turn came to leave the country I wanted to make sure I'm in touch with atleast my best friends. Today I'm not even doing this. But I know that out of that 100 good friends I made, there are atleast 5 of them who would be for me anytime.

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    1. Vaish, yeah its not fair to even expect for a friend to fill you in with every details. But when you notice that they have all the time in the world for everything else but no time to return your call; thats when it irks you.

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    2. And maybe few of them like me take it seriously while for some its casual

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  6. Help can come when one sincerely needs it from anyone and in any form like the example you gave! I also believe that friends in the real sense are few!

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  7. I guess friends is a general term in the context of FB. But, a good friend always for me is one I am in touch with away from social networking. Yes, a good friend should be one you can share things with without hesitation, and they should be there for you. That applies to really very few people these days.

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    1. Forget FB Rachna. A good friend as you say must stay in touch even without all that social n/w . Dont we remember the good old days of letters?

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    2. Absolutely! Not writing handwritten letter anymore, but I am either on the phone or write an email to those who are good friends. I am happy to have a few caring people in my life. They respond as soon as we connect.

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  8. The bundle of friends you have in fb is not the bench mark of ones gregarious nature. Fb are contacts , not even acquaintances let alone friends. It is a different world.

    Indeed as one comment said "ego" is what spoils any relationship even a strong but harmless antagonist view point may make some people shun you altogether. You can see that in fb or even in Blog.
    I guess it is the nature to be what you are and appreciate the other as they are that builds and sustain friendship. The empathy follows hand in hand.
    Dont you think so B?

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    1. Oh no! Anil I am not using it as a benchmark. I wanted to convey that it irks when my close friends have all the time to flaunt on FB but dont return calls/mails.

      I choose FB friends also with care. I have not known only 10% of the people on my list - which includes bloggers

      Yeah, but accepting a gesture as returning a call is not expecting them to change their ways, isnt it?

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  9. And B, the pic you have chosen for the Blog is good and different.

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    1. Thanks Anil. Do you remember I put this picture in a post about Dambulla :)

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  10. FB friends are majorly acquaintances and sometimes not even that!! Real friends are so very few and those are the ones who are to be treasured.
    The auto incident is impressive!

    Oops... the word verification is a pain... I get the words wrong half the time.... they way the mangled alphabets are shown!! **PHEW**

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    1. :-) I will do away with the word verification right away :)

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  11. I too have experienced this and it hurts. I give ample time to a relation ,most of time they do get revived and if they don't I just move on .Good to know about autowallah ,I have always found such people(auto,rickshaw ,sabj,thela -wallahas) much more helpful than us.

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  12. Weekend and at home, the first routine I through is to check my fellow bloggers' posts.

    Defining 'friendship' is a complicated thing. I have tried to do it so often, though. Respect and concern for your well-being, sharing your joys and sorrows - that's what you really need from a friend. The autowallahs - you see that among many of the 'lower' economic class, who realise the value of brotherhood as ' a friend in need is a friend indeed! It has become something alien to the rest.

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    1. Balan - you said it all. It does not happen will every friend, as I said, few take it casually.

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  13. Friends on FB are not friends.
    Real friends are always there when needed,remembered.
    Auto walls is a livingexample

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    1. Chowla sir, the friends on FB are my close friends. They are my good friends who have all the time to show up on FB but dont try to connect on a personal level

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