Monday, April 18, 2016

Who is your true self?

A friend of mine was recently introduced to my blog. Well; yeah a friend who doesn't know my blog? I try to keep my blog discreet; for certain reasons. So yeah; the friend has been reading lot of my earlier posts. At times; he reminds me of how my views and perspective have changed. Now its kind of evolved; lets say; than what they were earlier. Thoughts mostly in terms of life, spirituality, love, emotions and such.

Have they EVOLVED? 

This is the question I ask myself. I would like to term it as "evolvement" rather than "changed". Lets say my views are evolving; am I now a different person? Is that disappointing? Well; one thing is for sure; words are not adequate to express why you think what you think; whats the background; whats the trigger. The outcome is what matters; not the process isn't it? 

So; maybe I didn't expose the background triggers and support my views enough in such matters? 

As children; we are not bound by any societal or cultural restrictions; we are unadulterated and thus express ourselves freely without any inhibition. Then, as we grow; we are bound by ways of the world; burdened with expectations. We get moulded into what the society expects out of us - constantly being judged and labeled. So much so that we become very similar to each other; imbibing what the system wants us to do; programmed to try and find success that is defined by the society and culture. 

However; our core beliefs and wishes remain; which we constantly cane and suppress; because being different means being rebellious. But lets say; some of us are strong headed to not conform to the expected behaviour and be ourselves. What does that mean? To go against the clutches of conformance, of duty, of responsibility, of acceptance? 

Some time back; I had a very interesting conversation with my supervisor at work. He was giving me feedback on how task oriented I am; how I should show a bit of empathy towards others and such. I was of the opinion that I am unique because of my nature; why is it that they are expecting me to be like "someone else". Then; I become someone else; not myself anymore. To which; he explained about "emotional intelligence" and "social intelligence" - to be aware of one's and other's emotions to get along with others and to handle interpersonal relationships. We also talked about how changing yourself is not becoming a different person but its evolving. Its a process. 

To me; its still trying to force somebody to imbibe someone else's qualities. Dont get me wrong; I am not boasting of my lack of empathy. But I have my own ways to show empathy. So; to be liked, to be accepted, to be good and virtuous, to live upto an image and trying to meet expectations; we leave our true selves behind. Our culture likes it this way! 

However; if one can lose the falsification;  if one can differentiate right and wrong, if the core beliefs are still the same; underneath you can find your true self. It requires going through that process; of embracing those beliefs sold to you, of adopting those traits and images that you thought is right; that you realise whats your true self. 

This would be going against the tide; being indifferent at times; being inconsistent at times. Lets face it; its not easy to be strong enough and keep up with one's instincts all the time; to be selfish and with all the forces of conformance pushing you without any trace of remorse. 

In the end; what matters is if you still believed what you always believed in; even if you had deviated and are deviating and realise that :-)

18 comments:

  1. So finally you right, and my my what topic you choose!

    I pleasure to read you as usual and whatever you said is quite to the point.

    However last line makes me think "if I know who am I inside and still I keep deviating" what makes me realise that deviation has not become my main stream and vice a versa?

    I would really like if you write more frequently

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :-) yes. What I was trying to say was its not at all easy to stick to your values given the external pushes we get in the name of being "proper". We do tend to deviate and give in at times and move away from what we truly are. But thats ok; as long as we can get back on track.

      Delete
    2. Oh yes sir! definitely. I plan to write more often now.

      Delete
  2. and I made a mistake too, " and finally you write..." hahaha...

    ReplyDelete
  3. True, changing yourself is not becoming a different person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haddock - yeah thats an important differentiation.

      Delete
  4. They say Change is what must happen.. I think more issues come up if we dont change with time.

    as pointed above change doesnot mean you become a different person ..

    Although in todays day and age and the way everything is evolving I think it is people like me Who got to CHANGE and become a different person :)

    HOW ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU :) :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bikram,

      True that; if we don't evolve with time; we are going to be obsolete. But then there should be that balance; not to stray off much from what we wish to be; our needs.

      I am doing good; how have you been?

      Delete
  5. If there's one thing that's always constant in life.. then its change... Good to have you back here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Meety - its how the world is made to be, isn't it? Thanks; I plan to write more often hereon

      Delete
  6. Believing in yourself is what is important!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Reading this post gave me a feeling of deja vu... I was reading some of my old posts recently and realized how my perspective has changed (which basically means that I have changed, except I don't think I have accepted the fact still)... and more importantly, how my priorities have changed...

    I am still the same person, with the same DNA, just that the DNA has evolved with time... some parts of it are good, and some not so good....

    As long as the crux hasn't changed, I guess we shouldn't be worried... what say :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dwiti,

      :-) True that. We change, either ourselves or forced by situations. But as long as we are comfortable with what it is; we are good.

      Delete
  8. Completely agree with your words... The expectation to transform oneself to suit the needs of the society is terrible. It kills the dreams and identity of the person!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. Yup; it requires strong mind to not fall into society's traps

      Delete
  9. Awesome pictures and interesting information and attractive.This blog is really rocking...
    Yes, the post is very interesting and I really like.
    grabbit
    auratrends
    the legging shop

    ReplyDelete

I'd love to know what you thought :-) Please shoot!