Realization

As twilight sets in;

I brace myself up

For a long lonely evening

My pet; unaware; of the storm

Brewing within me;

Calmly rests his face on my lap

Whimpering with pleasure;

Eyes; half closed; licking my fingers

With contentment

There! the twilight

The reality sets; the dreams end

Or; do they?

Mind races across;

Like a Capuchin

Jumping from one branch to another

I let the thoughts race

To the past; which is futile

To the future; on which I have no control

The present; I seem to forget

and let it slip by; unnoticed.

Foolish you could call.

Dumb me! I’d say.

The day sailed smooth;

Bright sunshine and cool breeze

Happy chirping birds and people’s blabber.  

With my love’s soothing voice of sweet nothings

Why hover to unknown; when the present is so fine.

I realize that; just in time.

Twilight – I brace myself up.

My thoughts interrupt –

With a phone call reminding me to workout ;-)

Nihility

On that tiny area of the rock;

Jutting out of the snow clad mountain

I sit gingerly; consuming the scene around me

I can feel the chill on my butt; yet still I sit

Hugging myself; relishing the cold;

On my earlobes and my nose tip.

The crisp wind; pushing oxygen so fresh;

Lungs confused; not being used to such purity…

Yet the feeling is beautiful

The moment is mine; only mine.

The fluffy clouds; the big blue sky,

The emerald green mosses; the icy blue of snow

The lenticulars; like a crown on the mountain’s head

The stillness, the silence; broken regularly by the biting wind.

They are all mine; at least for now.

I pinch a tiny speck of snow and feel it in my hand

From where did they come?

What would happen to them?

Who all did they touch? What all did they see?

As I wonder; the snow melts in the warmth of my fist

Just like the snow; we appear from nowhere

Seeing lots; touching many

Clinging on at times; letting go sometimes

Stubborn like hail at times; melting when the sun shines bright

To nihility. 

Lenticular on a ice capped mountain in Iceland.

Random Faces

Some twitching, some smiling
Few staring, few brooding.
One is nervous, the other surprised
Someone is excited; while the other is fearful.

Wrinkles criss-crossing like a river,
The years seen, the paths tread.
Those scars; now a tattoo etched forever
Bearing testimony of hurdles crossed.

Those flowy hair; matted and dirty
Given up on comforts
Those countless freckles; like stars in the sky
Hiding numerous stories.

Imperfect yet charming; different yet similar.
Each waxing eloquent unique experiences.
Are all those faces....
Random Faces.

Flutter

Dull grey sky
Cold winter night
Empty road, heavy mind

Spaghetti of thoughts
Twisting and twirling
Why is the world not 

walking with me?

Each one passing by
Consumed in their own thoughts
Glum and brooding

Where is the joy?
Where is the appreciation?
Why is no one pausing?
For little beautiful things...

There!!! I see yellow petals
Gliding away in the wind
Oh...that's a butterfly!!

Rediscovery

Few years back; I saw "LIFE" scribbled on a colleague's cubicle glass partition. I was passing by him; and stopped at that instant. He was always stressed out because of work. I took a marker from his desk; and drew a SINE WAVE and added "....is a since wave" after "LIFE" as he was silently watching.

I put the marker down; turned and smiled. He was like "Oh yeah! its all ups and downs isnt it?" I said "Yes", now dont get stressed out, take it easy."

We all go through phases of high and low so often in our life; few fight to always stay happy and cheerful and would tell off others who brood. But I think its ok to brood, to feel low and to go into your cocoon; to reemerge. I dont beat myself up for wasting time mulling over; or to have forgotten how blessed I am once in a while.

Past year was interesting; both professionally and personally. It could've been better; I let few things bring me down emotionally and my confidence level was squashed. Perhaps; I lost myself in the process of pleasing others. Its a learning process, and nothing is going to kill you. You know there is light at the end of the tunnel and you shall emerge stronger and brighter; but the pain of passing through that dark tunnel is excruciating. At times; you have people to support you and at times you are all by yourself. With me; though there were people to support; I took my own sweet time.

Those phases are interesting actually; they teach you to differentiate good and bad, they make you wiser and help you to learn to trust again, to try again. You learn to pick yourself together.

I had suspended few of my hobbies close to me; like reading, writing, photography. I am glad I have started them again. Worse; I was so lost in my own world wallowing all the time that I had stopped observing; and relishing those simple joys of life. I have not bounced back completely yet. But certainly its improved. For one thing; I continued my travel sojourns. Was it escapism or my way of feeling life - I dont know. But it continued. I visited beautiful and gorgeous places on earth - Jordan, The North of West Bengal and Sikkim, Bhutan, Iceland, Finland and Sweden.

The other thing I started doing was coloring. I was able to download and print free coloring pages and man! they are so therapeutic. I am playing with crayons, sketch pens and color pencils. For one, I am not patient and I am coloring like nursery kids; going over the borders. But its nice that I dont have to draw anything myself; I suck big time in drawing. Here are few of my latest coloring works

 One other thing that I thought I would never do was to get started on Harry Potter. I have been coaxed by many to read HP but Ive always shied away. Dont know why; but I was successfully perusaded this time and I started during the 2 month break I had before starting on my new job. So yeah! Harry Potter is extremely captivating and brilliantly written. I am reading the 4th book now.

I've gotten interested in few other things as well and hope to start them off soon...Hopefully....