Thursday, February 23, 2012

Just rants

I am a techie - hard core nerd even to other techies who interact with me. I can talk two levels up than 0s and 1s. Thats what I am. But my job demands me to interact with lot of people since I involve in product(software) design and strategy.

I have mounds of stories to share about people interaction. For one, the most toughest job for me is to get to understand people. I cant read between lines. I cant understand their hidden intent. Two, English is a dangerous language. It will take lots of hard negotiations and rejections only to finally realize that both of us were meaning the same thing. Some people are energy suckers. . Energy suckers can wane you off and test your threshold. Some are tactical; you wouldnt know they are targeting you.

Anyway, you can gauge a lot by interacting. I do lot of interviews as part of recruitment. Its a draining process. Talking to many people to just find one suitable candidate requires patience and perseverance which I totally lack! Sometimes its easy to knock off when the qualities/skill sets dont match and its obvious But its not always the case. Some are smart! They understand the interviewee and respond the way the interviewee will like to hear. Thats talent isnt it?

A candidate once almost knocked me off when he proposed a solution to the problem I posed and ended with "I am sure you would have solved the same way!". What do you think my assessment would be? I did rate him good to hire. Of course it was just not me. Others were tricked similarly and now he is a lame duck doing nothing once hired. No contribution whatsoever!! :-S But my manager says its ok to make mistakes :)

Anyway  I have been thinking; as you go on and on; your cup of creativity drains empty Is it so? Or that you are too occupied and stressed that you fain to think creatively.

Well, I am just retrospecting myself. My blog posts have dwindled, my variety has reduced, my enthusiasm to document what I observe has gone down. There are no dearth for thoughts so; just that I am not comfortable to share them with here. Thats the disadvantage of revealing your identity :) You are scared of endless and senseless debates, people forming an opinion about you and so on. How frankly can I share my thoughts on carnal pleasure, drinks, secret side of women, dirty side of corporate world, dark alleys of relationship and so on? I will surely get a couple of "Are you ok?" , "What will people think about you?" mails.

I definitely dont like to talk about my work. Nor am I interested in bitching and complaining. More often than not; my sarcasm is misunderstood. Current affairs are all similar lots - corruption, political drama, movies, red tapes, traffic, pollution, balh..blah..blah.. My ethics does not let me share somebody's personal story. What am I left with? Endless tales of my little travel and mounds of photographs to share.

But whats my purpose of this blog? Am I looking for an audience to appreciate my photography skills? Am I wanting to blow trumpet about my travel? Why should I share what I feel about certain things? No! I have not found a compelling reason to draw curtain over my blog yet :)

I dont think I will! But why did this thought even arise?

48 comments:

  1. I'm really amazed at the similarity of our thoughts.
    One of the reasons that I have limited things to write is because there are many things that I cannot share publicly. Sometimes I do think, then what's the reason of writing a blog when you cannot write what you really think and then an unending debate takes over with no solution. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :-) I think its more prevalent in females than guys :)

      Delete
  2. Yes, sometimes I felt the same way! That I don't have that liberty to write what I wanted to! Coz I'm afraid?? - of people making opinions about me, or probably because of that group of unwanted people peeping into my blog and talking at my back or that little group of relatives who keep an eye on my blog! Sometimes I even think that I should write in anonymous name, but I want an identity. So the convenient choice is to post pictures and talk about travel rants!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vaish,

      Hahahaha I hear you. Same same! :-)

      Delete
  3. And, I get the same feeling too Insignia. I had to really tone down the content or open voicing of opinion because suddenly I knew who was reading my blog. Even something said generally had people jumping to conclusion and taking offense. The heights was when I had to remove a post and even go and apologize to a lady because her husband misconstrued a post. This is really horrible. I have ventured into general terrain or speaking about "my" kids which is safe territory. My husband doesn't like sharing of pics on blogs so of late I have been restraining that. The same has happened to FB now. With so many relatives on board, it is a pain even to indulge in banter with old friends because people are so judgmental. There are so many topics I have opinions on but will I talk about them on the blog? No way! Then there will be crazy debates and opinions being formed.

    So, try topics that are less controversial. But, there are times when my self comes through, and I say what the hell! Let those who want to take offense, take :).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I went through all of these many times. Where I was forced to introduce comment moderation because of nasty comments, near fist fights! Maybe I should just stop thinking about others :)

      Delete
    2. Oh man! I remember those days. Phew, not pleasant at all!

      Delete
    3. Gautam, yeah! How those stuffs spoiled my days! :)

      Delete
  4. Hey, where are all the apostrophes? You seem to be omitting all. And, Please remove word verification.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rachna, I wrote it in haste. Have some typos and mistakes that a reader has painstakingly pointed out. Yeah I used to get lotta spams and thats why put on word verification. Will remove it.

      Delete
    2. Ha ha. All these comments remind me of those old days. LOL!

      Delete
  5. Insignia,it is really difficult to find topics to hold the interest and professional work or things unethical is what cannot be done in writing blogs:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rahul,

      Absolutely! I am trying to strike a balance

      Delete
  6. :)

    Insignia, why are you thinking so much? It is going fine I guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :-) Lol! Mid life crisis calling I think Abhinav :P

      Delete
  7. I really don't know what to say here Bindu .But I can tell you how I feel about you - you write so well ,you are a good communicator ,you are disciplined ,you are creative ,you are well informed and above all you enjoy writing .Blog when you want to not because you have to :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for being generous kavita. I wouldnt compel myself anytime you know; I cant do that :) But when I start writing, I erase and erase. Thats exactly what I dont want to do!!

      Delete
  8. Been there done that is all I can say. I rant endlessly about every damn thing. The reason is simple - I can't write travelogue nor am I good at photography. My rants are repeated too. but what the hell! each day is new so the things happening on those days are new too - albeit of the same kind. my reactions to them, my experiences are different each time and on each day. Yes I did get reactions too - people asking me whether I was ok. Initially on blog, then through mail - I used to reply politely to mails saying everything was fine. Finally I won. nobody asks me anything anymore. nor do they read me much - but at least I am at peace, not worried about being judged.

    No matter how much we pretend to be people's person or otherwise, we do need our space. we do want to write what we want to write. You are a good writer. Even your rants are interesting. That's why people read you. And many have the habit of reading in between the line even when you write straight things. If you say - I have never felt so low in my life; they will interpret it in such a manner and think one step ahead of you. They will think that you are planning a suicide. Your venting instead of making you feel relaxed, makes you feel all the more frustrated. Happens. Just forget it and move on. For such mails and comments, you can't stop writing what you want to write.

    Oops, I am on assumption spree too. Bad luck Insignia for you come across such people only :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Lady! You wrote a post on my comment section.

      I agree and will take your word! :-) All I want is a space to vent and share :)

      Delete
    2. Really liked Neha's comments, and especially ditto her on the second paragraph.

      Delete
  9. I for one can never Talk about my work AT ALL, which sometimes become a pain. hence all i rant is politics corruption which you dont like :)

    photography mine is not great.. as you have not taught me :(

    but when i write I write what i want to or feel like , thats the whole idea of owning a blog one can write

    Lot of people have made their opinion on me.

    Take care :) and keep smiling

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha its not that I dont like Bikram. Its just that there is only complaints and corruption in the system and I am tired of it as well.

      You didnt get your camera when you met me or else would have taught some stuffs :-P

      Delete
  10. Sounds like mid life blues, but you are not there yet. Then why?

    We dress not slovenly to feel respected if not impress a bit. And beyond that , why must one feel reticent about what others may or may not fee? Ones feelings, predilections, fascinations etc are ones prerogative? Why must one feel for what others feel because one has the guts to say what one feels? All said and done there are many things in all of us that refuses to come out. And so be it!

    This space is a forum, when you write something here you do so with the knowledge that you may be criticised or patted. And the ones who are for what you stated and the opposite should have the decency to say why they do so and must substantiate.

    It is your right to hold your fascinations as long as it does not poke into some ones face literally.
    So get out of the monotony of the Techie tower and blog with abandon. It is fun to express and express arguably.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope its not arrived early Anil :)

      Yup! I dont deny anything you state but its that I have heard people talking behind my back; sharing emails to one another about me. These people dont even know me!

      Anyway, I shall get back on track

      Delete
    2. Agree with Anil here. Dunno if I know enough about your situation to give you some advice, but come on da, take it easy...

      Delete
    3. Gautam, you will know better since you were actively plugged in those days when 'we' fought with others over comments :)

      Delete
  11. People are judgmental and for an ordinary person, it's almost impossible to change their ideology.
    Who am I to judge people? Still I do, and I'm sorry for judging here.
    This blog made me judge your manager.
    He says, "it's ok to make mistakes."
    So, in my opinion, he is not a punctual person.
    And you made mistakes here. ("the most toughest job", "my ethics does not", apostrophes, etc)
    And I guess you are an interviewer, not an interviewee.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I dont know if you are still a student or you work.

    However I am sorry to say that your judgement is so wrong.

    You forget that you learn from mistakes. So my manager saying that it was alright to make mistakes only means that thats how you learn. In corporate world; its impossible to find a supervisor who guides, mentors and then encourages you instead of reprimanding for a single mistake which he/she even wouldn't have avoided. So! Yashank, if someone says its ok to make mistakes; its not that they are not punctual. I dont see relation to time management here at all in any way.

    I am not afraid to make mistakes. Thanks for pointing it out. Its just that I was hasty and typed as I thought and didnt do a proof reading before posting.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Interesting post. I too believe that we learn more from our mistakes than any other experiences. So, as some one said, go ahead, make your choices wisely, learn smartly from the mistakes and get on with life. Life's the best teacher and mistakes help us get ahead faster.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah :) There is no better way than learn from mistakes

      Delete
  14. SOrry for being late, B, I somehow missed it. We all have been through this many times; you'd remember I nearly stopped blogging once!

    Mine is what you might call a personal blog. Only very rarely do I touch upon controversial or cerebral issues. By writing about personal experiences and travels, this platform has helped me understand myself better. To me , nothing matters as much understanding myself.

    I sympathize with those bloggers who are scared to write personal things, who are reluctant to reveal their identities. What are they scared of? Themselves, more than others!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I recall that Balan, I also remember you wanting to start an anonymous blog. Its that extra pain you put up with Balan, back and forth senseless exchanges of words, banter and all that

      YeahQ revealing the identity is one big step Balan. People are scared of many things! workplace, home, relatives, friends....and so on

      Delete
    2. I very well remember that time when you revealed your identity Bindu. You contemplated about that so much!

      Delete
    3. Yup! and boy! it has done me bit of harm :)

      Delete
  15. Replies
    1. Thanks Balan. Thats the Dambulla cave temple :)

      Delete
  16. You are too strong a person and will make the right choice

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sema punch dialogue and cent per cent true!

      Delete
    2. :-) Gautam, glad you too believe that I am strong :)

      Delete
  17. Thanks Chowla sir. I hope I will

    ReplyDelete
  18. Agree with Kavita... Blog when you want to not because you have to!
    LOL @ "lame duck doing nothing once hired. No contribution whatsoever!!" :D

    ReplyDelete
  19. No matter what you write, its always refreshing to read them.. so keep it coming girl... :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sometime i also think about my blogging on the similiar lines but then it gives lot of refreshing satisfaction to write/rant/ blah over here ;) yes there are lot of things which we want to write over here as you mentioned and just couldn't because f many social reasons but then you can always start with another blog anytime rite ;) and as per your post here goes, its always as refreshing . i am following your travelogue on Srilanka keenly as i want to visit there too :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup! I agree. Sometimes it helps to rant :D

      Delete

I'd love to know what you thought :-) Please shoot!