All good things come to an end

"All good things come to an end yaar"

This was the immediate response from Ankita when I told her that yesterday was the last swimming session.

Yeah, I remember how my first class was - A successful disaster. Trying to stand in the pool, walk and jog in the pool to keep myself warm. I felt the toughest part was to breathe out while inside water.

Every little action of swimming from my coach was welcomed by cheers and claps from us students who were still managing to float around in the water. How we were excited when we managed to float. Wow, that was quite an achievement.

Well, here is an update. I did not at once leave the wall of the pool and venture further. Coach always coaxed me to leave the wall and always said "Its all in your mind". After 5 classes, everyone started with free-style and I was still safe near the wall, I thought I must quit. My coach told on the first day that 99.9% of the folks who join the class learn to swim at the end of the sessions. I thought I might fall under the 0.1% category. I thought it was not for me.

But when I went for the next class, I let go of my fear and then my first success - learnt to float!!!.

After that, there was no looking back - free-style, back stroke, butterfly and breast stroke, mushroom, dogie paddle, deep water swimming, diving, dolphin style, flipping back and forth as one swims...

I cant believe I learnt all this. Though I am not an expert, I can manage. I can now do these stuff, though not elegantly. This was an amazing experience. The sense of joy when I managed to swim breadth wise, and the unbelievable awe when I could manage to swim lengthwise...Wooo hooo... We even had relay races which we won!

The sense of achievement you get when you learn something new sure gives a high. The euphoria surrounded by it is unexplainable. For someone like me when the biggest water body that I have ever got into was an average size bath-tub, this was something to celebrate. A friend of mine was pleasantly surprised and gave a thumbs up when she saw me swimming well after the class hours; for someone who was scared of water.

More importantly, I got to meet new people. The crowd was so friendly and awesome; each one trying to encourage the other and cheering and clapping when someone managed to swim a lap. Got acquainted with nice people.

Now that its over, I am sad. But all good things do come to an end. What next? Maybe salsa or foreign language course...He he he

Overheard at work

Software Engineers.................

Aaaahhhhh...Rings a bell huh? Intelligent boring geeks, who just stare at the black screen and code, code, code......

Actually, we are all dumb people, who don't have a care for the world, doesn't know what is happening with others. Guys, aren't we the ones who would wish "good morning" to a colleague via office communicator? Aren't we the ones who would call up a peer who is in the next aisle instead of walking up to the cube? Aren't we the ones who have forgotten what it is to hold a pen and write on a piece of paper? All we have is some teeny-weeny half-baked knowledge of the technical product, we don't seem to care where Norway is...errr...unless you are asked to go on a business trip!!
We don't seem to know anything, confined to our 3x3 cube space with laptop and gallons of coffee.....

We are DUMB. To prove that, overheard these conversations

Person X : Shall we go to KFC today?
Person Y : Yeah, sure. KFC, hmmm do you know its American fast food restaurant.

(I really didn't understand if it was necessary to be pointing this out. I mean, most of us knew it was American. But BONKERS)

Person X : Oh yeah? I didn't know.
Person Y : Yeah K-F-C Kentucky Fried Chicken.

So yeah, we do haunt fast food joints, we do gorge on burgers, sandwiches, pizzas. But we don't know that KFC is American

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Person 1 : Kathmandu kahan hai? (Where's Kathmandu)
Person 2 : Nepal mein (Its in Nepal)
Person 1 : Oh, mai socha Tibet mai hai (Oh! I thought it was in Tibet)

(Oh dear!.....Pathetic. An Indian does not know our neighboring country and its capital!!!!)

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We guys are so used to our "office lingo" that it rubs on to us even while having personal conversations. One of my friend got a call from his mom and she seemed to have asked about God-knows-what. His response was

"Yeah mom. I will weigh down the options and get back to you by End of the Day."

Hmm, 3 office lingos in just one sentence.

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Hmmm...I am sure I will hear more bunkum similar to these..Will update as and when I do...

Fast Life......Lost Spirit

Today is a state holiday in Karnataka. Its the celebration of New Year for people in certain parts of India....I am at home idle, wiling away time, doing nothing.......in the sense doing nothing related to the festival. I am not celebrating it. For that matter, I don't recall celebrating any festival of late. Its not that I have lost interest out of the blue. But its the way of life I have gotten into. Given a holiday, I would be at home, laze around and think about the mad week that has passed by, glad enough to have got a day off to break away from the chaotic nature of mind and relax it.

HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS UGADI FOLKS

When I was a kid, a festival was looked forward to with great fervor and excitement. Diwali was one such festival I started preparing almost 2 months before it arrived. Thinking about what new dress my parents would buy, what other gifts I would get, the idea of missing school for 3 days! Yeah that's right. School used to be shut for 3 days during Diwali, unlike now, just a day. The variety of crackers and fireworks that I would have, meeting cousins, uncles, aunts, receiving gifts from them... Shopping for a toy gun was a ritual. We used to go with our parents and diligently choose a gun - NO to plastic toy guns, they may break. It was stainless steel, polished and glittering in the sun. Once we finalized on our toy guns, next was to buy rollers - which is to be inserted into the gun and shoot....shoot...shoot........

And yes, not to forget the day of festival, when it finally arrived, the ritual oil bath....it was not an event to look forward to - Whole body massaged with Sesame oil and we would be advised to keep that oil on us for about an hour while it seeped into our eyes. It was a religious ritual, but medicinally helpful - to cool down one's body. But this was a necessary evil, as the bath was followed by getting to wear new dress. The excitement, the happiness, the plead to wear it before the festival and the stern rejections from parents.....And yes, who can forget the sumptuous festival meal after the pooja......

The burring of fire crackers would begin 1 week prior to the festival. Entire streets, roads covered with blown up papers, mixture of red and white papers...the burnt out sparkling sticks........
Well, the same during Christmas, the excitement of counting the number of paper stars hung outside buildings month before Christmas, the idea of looking at decorations and feeling them in a Christmas tree...the satin ribbons, tiny bells, the tiny stars......tiny presents.........

Today is neither Diwali, nor Christmas. One might wonder why am I talking about them. I still have the same excitement to count the stars for Christmas, appreciate a Christmas tree. But alas, seems its no more the same.

I hardly see a star hung out on Christmas, hardly see a Christmas tree outside a home a month before Christmas, and certainly I don't see the burnt out papers on the streets a week before Diwali(Don't get me wrong. I am certainly in for a greener Diwali. Its just that I want to point out the loss of excitement among people). I have the inkling to celebrate but have lost the excitement and the spirit. The enthusiasm that I had as a child, waiting for the D-day, waking up the whole night the previous day...its no more.

Fast life, complicated, competitive - no time to keep up with our celebrations, our culture. Fast disposable income, high level of stress, work pressure, nuclear family, no friends, lonely life......Friends and families are greeted over e-mails and SMSes.Whatever little time one gets is spent sleeping, snoring, just lazing around, strolling around a mall, looking at mannequins and buying things one doesn't know if its really needed, think about work even while off it, take out your cellphones every other minute to check if there are any missed calls......WHEN YOU REALLY KNOW THAT THERE IS NO ONE WHO WOULD BE MISSING YOU AND WOULD BE THINKING ABOUT YOU.

This fast life has surely made us walking-talking dead woods.


Thanks Mano for correcting my flaw of wrongly mentioning Castor oil instead of Sesame oil

Wish I had a Punching Bag

I feel like beating up someone......I am playing my mood down...Yet I cant get to. My hands are restless, I dropped my PDA while picking up tea and the back cover, battery all went along in different directions......

Wish I had a punching bag....Oh! I really wish. I want to beat up someone....

Black to rustic.....

Black is Boring.......................to me......................NOW!

Hence the change in the overall look of my blog. I am always mesmerized by black. Black means secretive to me, calm, a mystery; hard nut to crack; also dull and boring. Yet black is powerful, bold and strong but can get onto your nerves sometimes. Right now, probably,that is what has happened to me. When I was asked to choose a template for this E-Trash(a.k.a. my Blog), when I first started blogging, Black caught my attention. It was calm, quiet and elegant then.

Now its dull and lifeless!

So I decided to revamp my blog. Experimented with lot of templates, shades of blue - beach, sky.....shades of green - leaves, garden.....shades of yellow - flowers, tiger....shades of brown - chocolate............

I previewed many, something lacked in one or the other. Something amiss. I don't know what, I cannot explain what it is, yet I could sense it. I repeated the process of applying the template and previewing it as many number of times till I was satisfied.

And finally chose this wooden windows. Rustic, earthy. If I were to be asked if this has left me happy? satisfied? I don't know. But this is what it is.

Is this about the lack of "something" in those mixtures of colors and patterns? Is the BLACK really DULL or LIFELESS? Or is it my current state of mind?

It is obvious to my state of mind. Out of 100 odd templates I saw of various patterns, colors and tags, I could RELATE to only one right now. I LIKED all of them, but I could relate to only one. Prodding more, I don't even like this current one as much as I liked a couple of other templates.

But this is what I am right now. So one can like all, but could only relate to one specific thing at a point of time - though one may not necessary like the thing being related to. Sometimes, you cant express what you are going through. Its not the lack of communication or the lack of expression, its just that you have no idea as to what is going on with you. You are left wondering, searching for answers. This is a weird situation or emotion if I may call it. This does not mean things are going bad for you. Everything is fine - personally, professionally, otherwise...yeah with a couple of glitches - Who does not have it? Yet, something amiss........................................................................

I HAVE NO SLIGHTEST IDEA!!!!!!

Coming back, for that matter, rustic is not my choice otherwise. I prefer the sky and the beach to rusty earth. But this is what I chose now; hoping that this image would fill my void....

Types of Love

I was digging through my old emails and found a forwarded mail about the types of Love.
Funny!

Paths of Glory - Jeffrey Archer

The summary begins thus -
This is the story of a man who loved two women, and one of them killed him.
But this book is no fiction. I picked up the latest by Jeffrey Archer 2 weeks back and could not let go of it till I read until the last page. The protagonist's end is known in the Prologue, and there are no twists in this tale. When I read the above line on the back cover of the book, I thought it might be a suspense thriller. But I was completely taken off-guard as I turned pages one after another.

Its a beautiful adventurous tale of mountaineering; Of George Mallory; who might or might not have been the first man to ascend the Mount Everest. The author talks about George's childhood, his interest for climbing giving instances of him trying to climb Eiffel Tower, Bell Tower of St. Marks in Venice and his college high wall.

The story keeps you engaged as he takes through the enthusiasm of young Mallory, his belief in Fabian principles, his admiration for George Bernard Shaw. He also gives us a gist of an English way of life in the early 1900s, the horror of World war, George's romantic side of his life, his rival climbers and his ultimate love - to meet Chomolungma(as he refers)- goddess mother of the earth - Mount Everest.

Its the journey of George Mallory - British mountaineer who might have reached the top of Mount Everest(as the book suggests) and died while descent as his body was found not very far from the summit. Very straight-forward, yet engaging.

Hiring an Auto rickshaw in Bangalore

Me : Domalur, DELL office ಹತ್ರ(Near DELL office)

No sooner do i mention my destination to the auto rickshaw guys, their expression changes. Its always intimidating for me to approach a group of rickshaws. The drivers surround anyone trying to hire a rickshaw. Let me tell you, I don't know about other cities, but at least in Bangalore, its not the commuters who hire the rickshaw, but the drivers who hire the commuters!

They choose which place they want to go. Its an unpleasant experience to negotiate with them. My everyday commute to and from office goes thus-

SCENE 1:
=======
Me : Domalur, DELL office.

Now the various responses. It could be

An indifferent head shake(Meaning NO)
or
A dirty look (as if they are looking at Shit!)
or
Just ignore as if I didn't exist(I stand there for 5-10 seconds and then it comes to my senses that they guy heard me but he doesn't want to go that route)
or
20 Rs extra होगा madam.(They assume me to be a non-local)
I go about the routine of asking them to justify.

One thing I observed is that they speak in Hindi or broken English with me always. It seems I don't look like a local. I have to start my negotiation.

ಯಾಕ್ರೀ ೨೦ Rs ಎಕ್ಸ್ಟ್ರಾ? main area ತಾನೇ, ಒಳಗೆ ಇಲ್ವಲ್ಲ?
(Why is it 20 Rs extra? Its main place, not interior that you wont get a hire)

ಕನ್ನಡ ಬರುತ ಮೇಡಂ. ಇಲ್ಲ ಮೇಡಂ, ಮುಂದೆ ೨ km ಹೋಗ್ಬೇಕು, ಇಲ್ಲ U turn ತಗೊಳ್ಬೇಕು. ಕೋರಮಂಗಲ ಗೆ.
(Do you speak Kannada madam...No madam, I need to go further 2 kms or a U turn to get next hire)

ಆಗಲ್ಲ ರೀ.
(No way)

This continues further on. As these guys are an unison, no one would agree for an hire without that extra money - "meter ಮೇಲೆ" meaning over the meter as they say. Sometimes I lose and agree to pay extra 10 Rs.

SCENE 2:
=======
My destination arrives. The meter reading shows at least 30 Rs more than the normal rate as its been rigged. I confront.

ಯಾಕ್ರೀ, meter ಇಷ್ಟು ತ್ಹೊರಿಸ್ಥ ಇದೆ. 1 1/2 ಆಯ್ತಲ್ಲ.
(Why is the rate so much? Its 1 and 1/2)

(They get defensive) ಯಾಕೆ. ಅದೆಲ್ಲ ಇಲ್ಲ. correct ಇದೆ
(Who said so? Its perfect!)

I shell out double as I have already agreed to pay extra! :-(
No use arguing with them as you tend to spoil your whole day.

SCENE 3:
=======
Observe the meter reading going haywire and confront the driver in the middle of the journey. Lo! He stops on the road and asks you to get down. The place would be such that one cant get any transportation.

ಮೀಟರ್ ಏನ್ರಿ ಇಷ್ಟು ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಆಯಿತು
(Why is the meter reading high)

ಆಗಲ್ಲ, ಇಲ್ಕೊಲ್ಲಿ
(Not possible. Get down)

(Me - shocked) ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಕೊಳಕ್ಕೆ ಹೇಳಿದ್ರೆ, ಬೇರೆ auto ಸಿಗುತಾ? ಬುದ್ದಿ ಇಲ್ವೆನ್ರಿ , ಬೆಳೆಗ್ಗೆ ಕೆಲಸಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗವ್ರ್ಣ, ಹೀಗಾ ತೊಂದರೆ ಮಾಡೋತು?
(If you ask me to get down, I would not get another auto. Are you out of your senses? Is this how you treat a lady who is on her way to office)

SCENE 4:
=======
This time, the issue is they realize this is not the destination they want to go!!

ಇಲ್ಲೀಗ? 20 Rs extra ಕೊಡ್ರಿ
(Is this the place you want to go? give me 20 Rs extra)

Petrified! ಯಾಕೆ, ಅಲ್ಲೇ ಹೇಳಿದ್ರೆ. ನಾನ್ ಹತ್ಹ್ಥೈರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.
(Why so? You should have told me while I hopped in. I would not have agreed)

ನನಿಗೆ ಈ ಜಾಗ ಅಂಥ ಗೊತ್ಹಿರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ. ನೀವು ಇಲ್ಕೊಂದ್ಬಿಡಿ.
(I did not realize this was the place you want to go. Get down)

Phew!!

When such incidents happen day in and day out, how do we go about managing these?
The rickshaw guys have a festive time when it rains or if it is late evening. They ask "double". It means, twice the amount the meter logs in. Now a days, its triple actually. They don't budge!

I had a terrible experience when I left office by 7 PM. The road my office campus is in is outer ring road, and is not safe for pedestrians after 6 PM. My destination is a central place and the meter does not log more than 50 Rs if I were to take an auto. It was raining heavily. I approached an auto and guess what how much he quoted? 150 Rs!!!!!

I walked 2 kms to the nearest bus stop drenching in rain on potholed roads and open drains!

This is one example of how people take advantage. And the advantage becomes a day-light robbery;

- when you don't know the local language.I have always been mistaken for someone who has landed in Bangalore just recently from some other part of the country and hence don't know the local ಲಂಗುಅಗೆ. People end up paying the quoted amount ಫಾರ್.

- You are a techie. As they call Software engineers. My oh my!!! Its absurd to hear the idea these guys have about techies.

Taste this

- I think you will get not less than 40000, isn't it? Why cant you pay me what I ask?
- You guys get so much money, whats the harm in giving me 20 bucks extra! - As if we have trees that shed currencies.

Some time back, Times of India brought out top 10 interesting things to do before one dies. One of them was top 10 public transport you must take around the world.

Guess what? India's auto rickshaw was among top 5. Well, most of us would not agree with that survey!

The final nail in your coffin.
This happened to a friend. She was traveling after-work hours to her home and hired a rickshaw. The route she has to take is unfriendly after dusk and is risky. Once she reached her destination, she noticed that the reading was almost double and when she asked the drive, his response was -

ಏನು ತೊಂದರೆ ಇಲ್ಲದೆ ಸುರಕ್ಷಿತವಾಗಿ ತಂದ್ಬಿತ್ತಿಧಿನಿ. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಸಂತೋಷವಾಗಿರಿ,
(I have brought you to your destination safely through that dangerous area. Be happy about that)

But there are few good men, as everywhere else; who are honest and sincere. Kudos to them and pray that these men are not polluted with such dirty ideas as others.

People often say, instead of complaining, take actions. If its handful who are corrupted, fine; how about each and everyone of them? Your day goes in filing complaints and no one takes any actions!

(PS : The guy in that snap above is my friend - for pictorial representation only :-)

A lot did not happen over Coffee!

I longed for a nice cuppa coffee after my 1.5 hours of swim session this Sunday.

After my swim, each time; I would rush to the cafe located in the club and order for a cup of coffee. It would be served hot in a paper cup. I would rush outside while sipping my coffee to catch the next bus to get home. The order was simple, The waiter would ask "What do you want madam?" with a smile. I would say "1 coffee please" and further add "In paper cup. :-) I would not want to stand here". He would say "No problem madam". My coffee arrives, I pay 6 Rs and leave sipping the ecstasy!

This Sunday, however; more than a cup of coffee, I longed for a perfect ambiance to relax and savor my coffee. I coaxed my friend to join me and we hunted down a famous coffee joint which advertises itself as A Lot Can Happen Over Coffee". We chose a plush couch with pillows thrown in. Dead tired we were, we just sank into the couch, snuggled a pillow. The environment was good, Bryan Adams' "Summer of 69" playing in the background; i was humming the song while waiting for the waiter to fetch us the menu card.

A grim looking guy came with a menu card, forwarded it to me. A smiling acknowledgement of "Thank you" was returned with another grim stare. Ohhh..alright, I thought the poor chap might have had a bad day so far. Browse through the menu, a wide variety of never-ending choices....

- Hot Coffee / Cold Coffee /Cappuccino, Espresso, Mocha, Latte, Frappe, Macchiato, Chococinno, Irish coffee, Coffee on the rocks.............
- Iced Tea, Lemon Tea, Peach Tea. Strawberry Tea.......Granitas....

The list had all combinations and permutations of coffee and tea. With/without cream, with/without ice cream, toppings with honey, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, with soy milk.........

After lots of shuffling and choosing, I decided I would try tea; cold tea(I don't know why I wanted tea after longing for coffee. Maybe the variety!). So my choice was Lemon Tea and my friend's - a Frappe. I waved at the waiter and the grim-face came by.

Me : 1 frappe and 1 Lemon Tea please
Waiter : (grim faced)Cafe, Almond or Choco ma'am?
Me : (confused, my choice would have been plain coffee) Hmmm...Cafe
Waiter : With or without ice-cream?
Me : Without ice-cream(impatient now)
Waiter : Some cream ma'am
Me : No, thanks(Now with a smile actually hinting him to go away!)
Waiter : And the lemon tea ma'am, hot or cold?
Me : I quickly glance the menu and mention "Lemon Freeze" (That meant cold tea)
Waiter : Anything else ma'am?
Me : That's about it (A smile again!)
Waiter : (Still grim faced) 1 Cafe Frappe with no ice cream and 1 Lemon Freeze...
Me : :-)

We continued our conversation as the waiter went with our orders. Hearing to "Summer of 69" repeatedly playing. A couple walked in and they made themselves comfortable.

While another guy took over preparing the frappe(I could hear the blender breaking ice cubes), our grim faced man went about his service with the just arrived couples.

The waiter brings in just 1 Frappe and says "Sorry ma'am, No Lemon Freeze". I quickly decide on ordering a Frappe. I obviously didn't want to be put into the interview session of my choice of Frappe; I ordered "A cafe frappe with no ice-cream and no other toppings".

I got my Frappe few minutes later. While sipping our frappes, I noticed something on the wall. It said "Anything missing in your coffee? If its the smile, you get your coffee free!"

I pointed it out to my friend and then looked at the grim-faced guy who coldly did about his way of serving a COLD COFFEE in a perfect COLD manner. Just then, my mind thought about the simple 6 Rs coffee served in my swimming club with a perfect smile by the canteen guy.

No ambiance, no "Summer of 69", no decor, would probably not know the meaning of "Customer Service and Value for money" - but it was all there.

Compared to this - Decor, ambiance, presentation, choice, variety....yet what a COLD environment.
I am not complaining. After all, I chose this. Where else can I hear to "Summer of 69" relaxed on a plush couch? So a little bit of grimness is fine.

But a perfect business to go about. This is what we all prefer isn't it?

And to think of how our humble filter coffee still manages to pull crowd against the tough competition of mocha, espresso and cappuccinos.

By the way, my title for the post is inspired from Cafe Coffee Day :-)

Wanna know whats happening with me?

Past few days have been really hectic for me. I haven't been able to do much apart from the swim sessions on my weekends. My frustration level overshooting the mercury, stress punching me hard. I am not finding time to READ!!! Holy Lord, 3 pending books to be read, out of which one is the latest fiction by Jeffrey Archer - Paths of Glory. I bought it and its on my reading table, each time I look at it sleepy eyed; I want to cry; Unable to lay my hands on it.

And the whole world knows about what my state of mind is, hmm, maybe not the whole world, but the inhabitants of my tiny kingdom of Instant Messaging. How our lives have changed with advancement in technology. Awwwww.....not again! Well, well, I am not going to give a gyan on this. We all are very well informed.

What struck me its a passe now to hide our emotional being and what we are currently doing. Waxing eloquent to the whole world about what we are doing currently, what our mood is or what we did last weekend or even the current music track you are listening to is the order of the day. Its no more a cool thing to set your status message as "Available", "Away" or "Busy". How boring that is.

You want the world to know whats happening with you, just status it out there on your IM.

Image from iproclaim.com

Yeah, I somehow am biased towards one of the IM service. I can status my stuff by just clicking on the text box; not unlike other IM where to tag in a status; you need to follow 3 steps - 3 steps means 3 clicks...

Observe and you can read all sort of funny and interesting status messages; sometimes emotions, philosophy, irony, just plain silly stuffs; advertising what you feel. the person noticing the status message definitely is bound to ask what happened; if its a joyful occasion, congratulate; if its sorrow, condole. Mission accomplished!

How do you grieve and let the world know you are grieving? Put it on IM. I once put my status as "Rochoo passed away :-(". I was pinged by all my friends who were online asking who was Rochoo and what happened. And condolences galore! By the way Rochoo was my pet fish.

Once I put up "Chai Latte and Tamil rap". A couple of my friends asked if composers made rap music in Tamil...

The interesting part is you can pick up a conversation. A friend who is on your list but has not talked to you for some time would actually be curious to know what happened and you get started.

A recent one was "Meri BAD luck tho bahut hi bad ho gayi"


A long time friend pinged to me to ask if everything was fine at my end :-D

One status message of a friend who was celebrating the onset of annual vacation was -

"A vacation is like love, anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort and remembered with nostalgia"

A friend once cleverly propagated that his was his birthday by stating this -
"I will cut the cake and have it too"

Another once wanted the world to know that he was married now by quoting -
"Yeah...my relationship status has changed"

Another one had a novel idea to get his assignments done. "What a sick way to spend sleepless night trying to finish of a %^&# assignment in English"

That chap had reached his heights of frustration.
Guess what? He was helped to finish off his assignment by a couple of his friends.

So next time, you want to know whats cooking among your friends, check their status message.

My status message after posting this blog would be -
"Wanna know whats happening with me? @ spice-n-ice.blogspot.com"


Image from http://www.publishingconvention.com/newsletter/07May/AP07NewsLetterMar.htm

Hail IMs
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(Didn't want to deviate from the topic earlier. But just to show who Rochoo was.....)

Taking the Lift? Hop on to some annoyance

Call them lifts or elevators; we cant do without them in our daily lives. Office lifts have rich tales to tell, only if they had the ability to yell!
Alas! NO.

An office goer would use the lifts at least 4 times a day. The lifts are silent spectators of human embarrassment and an apt place for research on human behaviors. How does one initiate a conversation with someone who is going to share that tiny space with you for not more than 1 minute? How do you stand in the tiny confinement of cramped space and yet not invade the private space of others? How do you develop the art of staring into space?

Most people would prefer to have the lift all by themselves. Yeah me too! I revel in excitement when I get into a lift and there's no one around. I can make a phone call and talk loud. I can look at my reflection on the polished walls of the lift and make sure I am presentable. I can relax, lean against the wall....hum my favorite tune, take the entire space and practice dance moves, curse someone.....

Image from http://www.savagechickens.com/tag/elevator

But that's not the case always. More often than not; we happen to share this cramped heavenly space with number of others. Lift experiences have always been annoying to me.

Most of us would have been part of few of the annoying situations more often - either by being the VICTIM or the CULPRIT. Lets find that out.


1. People tend to shout loud speaking on the phone while on the lift. Yelling improves the network signal, is it? Why are they not considerate enough to hold the call unless they leave the lift.

2. Another obsessive attitude of folks is to stand right in front of the control panel even when the lift is empty! What are you trying to do? Its understandable if the lift is crowded and you would want to stay as away as possible. That's the proper etiquette; but protecting the panel such that no one else can use it.....argh!!

3. I would like to occupy any one of the four corners of the lift space to let people come in and go out of the lift with ease. If the corners by chance are the front ones, it doesn't mean I AM THE LIFT OPERATOR!. I would definitely offer to press the buttons and hold the floor. But no, I ain't getting paid for it Mr. Where has the courtesy of "Please" and "Thank you" gone when one offers to press the buttons?

Image from www.cartoonstock.com

4. Its coldly amusing to be confronted by people just right in front of the lift door as it opens. They want to rush inside the lift even before the people trying to get out of the lift. Its a feeling of getting slapped hard on your cheeks. Guys! wake up. The lift is all yours but only for 60 seconds. Why do you barge in? Whats in store? Nothing interesting, just few boring and frustrated folks. Likewise, don't ever assume people have supernatural powers to pass through you to exit the lift if you hijack the only exit available.

5. Conversing aloud when inside the lift. Its so annoying to hear people complain about their work and their bosses in the lifts. Keep your drudgery conversations to yourself guys.

6. LADIES! LADIES! Its not your rest room to give yourself a makeover, highlight hair and clean your nails! Its very embarrassing for others who is on the lift with you. And please no.. no.. no.. gossips. Get that...huh?

Image from http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/s/stressful_working_gifts.asp

7. What do you call people who get a sadistic pleasure out of pressing all the buttons on the control panel just before they get out at the ground floor? The lift stops at each floor, 10 seconds to open the door, 30 seconds waiting and 10 seconds to close the door and start all over again.....

8. The lift is full, why do you want to try squeezing in and delay others?

9. If your office is in 1st or 2nd floor, whats the harm in taking stairs? People using the lift to travel less than 3 floors must be PROSECUTED!

10. Another thing that could drive you barmy is when someone holds the lift and the whole bunch of folks doing a ramp walk to get in. Least considerations to people already in the lift. Or when someone holds the lift and has a conversation with a person outside the lift not wishing to get in. What the heck! Disembark! Finish off your lovely CHANGE THE WORLD conversation , there's always the next lift..

11. Pressing the lift button continuously does not speed up the lift to go faster. Yet, people tend to do it. the lift is no Cow or Horse, lash it out and it runs faster buddy!

12. The DISGUSTING of them all...Breaking wind! Please don't do it. Don't even try it silently. Your face will give away.

Image from http://www.savagechickens.com/tag/elevator

13. THE FATHER OF ALL PUNISHABLE OFFENCE
You are on the lift, you are about to close the lift and notice someone running for the lift, please be kind enough to hold the door so that they can get in. This exact thing happened to me last week. A lady was on a lift, she saw me running towards the lift and phut! she pressed the button and the door slammed shut on my face. She looked exalted and in high spirits with her success as if she was on a high after guzzling down a couple of beers!. I wanted to punch on her lovely face!

Image from http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/e/elevator_doors.asp

Folks, I tell you there is nothing worse than seeing the lift open as one tries to get in and the lift door slams shut in the face. At least try to put up a sorry sad face and not an amused one!

Hoping for better experiences...

And yes, before signing off, the most stupid question people ask...

IS IT GOING UP/DOWN?



People, look at the panel; which direction is the arrow blinking? Why do you waste 10 seconds of my precious time?