Monday, October 19, 2009

Oh No!!!

He was picking up his medicines from a pharmacy store and was at the counter about to pay the cashier; when suddenly, he noticed someone staring at him. He grew conscious. A man, a rugged looking stern guy; a policeman standing at a close proximity; intently gazing at him. He just walked in to quickly buy some medicines; leaving his motor bike unattended at the no-parking zone. He knew his vehicle parked there might soon invite traffic jam. It was peak time and the roads go choc-a-block very quickly.

But he was in a hurry, and had no time to park his 2 wheeler at the designated parking area; at the basement of this complex. He had a hard day at work, his supervisor on his tail forcing him to finish on some task that came unannounced. He was tired, his head getting pounded hard; as if being hammered on both side of his temples....he had a nasty headache. He just wanted to rush home; get away from these hustle and bustle; the traffic.... and take some much needed rest. He was praying hard not to get into an ordeal with the policeman; he has had already enough for today.

There seemed to be no escape. The policeman was sure waiting for him. He paid at the counter and turned; took a couple of steps; all the while the cop waiting for this guy to pass by and he trying his best to avoid any sort of eye contact with the cop. As he got close, the police walked towards him. He fretted and was thinking of rushing to his bike, kick start and wroom; thereby avoiding a penalty. There seemed to no way, the policeman directly obstructing his way, and now he was quickly thinking oodles of reasons to excuse and save himself from a probable fine. Something told him not everything he thought was right.

Then as the man approached him; he realized he was just a watchman; not a police as he mistook. His stress has numbed his senses. He was relieved that it wasn't a cop when the man said "I wanted to warn you earlier; but you ran towards the store. That's why I have been waiting by your bike."

Just when he thought it was all fine; he was left red-faced when the watchman said

"Sir, Your fly is open"

34 comments:

  1. Nice post. Scintillating and suspenseful story. As they say in Tamil, “arandavan kannukku irundathellam paei” (For a person scared, even the darkness would seem like a ghost).

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  2. hiii

    eheheheh! nice suspense !!!
    keep writing :D

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  3. ena koduma saravanan ithu.... etho perusa story irukumnu partha...sema mokai potacha...he he luvd the screenplay mam;)!! lol @ SG!comment

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  4. nalla velai 55 fiction solli mokkai podama irutheengala.. ithu much better..free

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  5. hehehehe.. happens!! hehehe.. mast!

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  6. ada kodumaiye.. looks like sg said it perfectly..

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  7. hahahaha, too good...very nicely narrated...reminded me of my meow story in the end...couldn't guess this one a bit...awesome :D

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  8. LOL...u can be a film maker...imagine the whole movie wud b full of mystery and suspense and the climax and end part wud be comedy...hehehe tht wud b a nice genre

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  9. Hi SG,

    Thank you for the comments. Thanks for translating the Tamil proverb for the benefit of the readers and me. I am not that good at translating proverbs :-)

    Hahahaha, very true. I was actually very sleepy. As I slept during my office hours, this story evolved!!

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  10. Hi AS,

    Thank you. I will try :-)

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  11. Hi Hary,

    Hahahaha...hopefully I didn't disappoint you. Ithu periya story thaana..avanukku thaana theriyum avanoda kastom...zip podaama :-P

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  12. Hi Soin,

    :-) mokkai-yo illayo...ultimately oru kutty soga kadhai :-P

    Glad you liked it

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  13. Hey Abhi,

    Happens!!! Hmmm...do you know someone with whom something similar happened? :-P

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  14. Hi Vishnu,

    Kodumaya? Yaarukku? Watchman ku thaana? Hahahahaha

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  15. Hey Neha,

    Glad you liked it; though I thought it could have been a bit more better. Your "meow" story is incomparable; I mean it was soooo awesome... I visualized a poor grief stricken girl dark girl throughout...hehehehe.

    Actually, I was so sleepy yesterday and while I took a nap, my mind visualized this situation, don't ask me why? I don't know and thus I wrote it :-)

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  16. Hi Gayathri,

    Wow, that's truly a compliment. Yeah, comical ending are always welcome isn't it? :-)

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  17. Hahaha...loved it!

    A guy once said the exact same thing to me after waiting for ten minutes while i was talking on the phone.
    Donno why they wait! ;)

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  18. Oh oops!!

    But this is just a figment of my imagination. Did it happen with you? I wonder he waited because he thought you might be attending an important call and didn't want to interrupt!!

    :-)

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  19. Loved it! Although it would've been better if you'd have the kept the suspense in the air for a while longer:-)

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  20. yup.. no1 waits so long to tell a guy to unzip.. it seems he ruined some fun for the gals ;)..

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  21. Hi kish,

    Well, yeah but I didn't want the poor guy's fly to be unzipped for long time too...:-P

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  22. Hi Vishnu,

    Did you mean "no one waits so long to tell a guy to zip up" If so, most would ignore because its really equally embarrassing for the person to approach he guy and warn of his open fly.

    And why did the watchman wait here? Maybe this would answer Shaunak too. He definitely didn't want to go up to the guy who was buying few things at the store and proclaim that his fly was open when other people; which would include ladies as well would be present.

    Well, many wont even notice!!

    :-)

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  23. Hillarious and full of suspence and I liked the unpredictability also, as I couldnt guess anything till the end:)

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  24. Hi Antarman,

    Glad you liked it. :-)
    My mission accomplished!! :-D

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  25. When I started reading it I thought it would be a sad story, since he was buying medicines and all..But what a surprise! lol! Good story:-)

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  26. Hi Novice Writer,

    :-) I don't like sad endings. :-D Glad you enjoyed reading it.

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  27. Hey this one was very good. Thoroughly enjoyed it. :-)
    I found this story through your 'Categories' list. Only one post in 'fiction'? Looking forward to read more stories.. :-)

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  28. Hi Karthik,

    Thanks for the comments. Yeah right now, only one post under 'fiction'. My next is going to be a fiction. Watch out :-)

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  29. lollzzzz!

    I told ya..you are nice narrator

    I am feeling like...ROFL..:)

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  30. Makk,

    :-) Glad you liked it. And yeah thank you for the compliment.

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I'd love to know what you thought :-) Please shoot!