Please to meet you

Last week, I had a discussion with my senior director at work. He is an American, he greeted me with a Hello and we shook hands. The grasp was firm, neither lousy nor crushing; and it was neither a blip nor a drag.

OK! The discussion went fine. Once I got back to my place, my mind started recollecting some of my handshake moments. Oh! not those moments when I won accolades all the time but those moments when I felt miserable. Ouch!! or Awww!! types.

As a kid, each one of us would have won some prize or the other. Be it for academics, sports, extra curricular or cultural activities. And it required you to walk on the dais and collect the prize from guest of honor. The earliest I could remember is when I was in Upper Kindergarten. I collected prize from a guest of honor; he offered to shake hands. I still recall his hands were so huge and me with a teeny-weeny hand could only grasp his index finger.

Hmm but why shake hands? Why not legs? Errr....:-P I know!! Handshaking was practiced in Greece as early as 4th century B.C - History of Handshake. To think of it. why would they have initiated a handshake? Hmm, to prevent the stranger who they are meeting from attacking? The best way to prevent a stranger from clobbering would be to hold his hand firmly? Never know!!

Anyway here are few handshakes that I have experienced and I am going to categorize them. Yup!! there ARE different types of handshakes and unique set of practitioners.

The Crusher Shake - Those types which you dread. The sadistic types, when the person crushes your palm like a nutcracker cracking your knuckles. Your fingers are crushed with a vicious grip; and all the while you have put up a wide grin. Grin on your face, tears ready to flow down...what a pity! Your palm is minced like a pulp and you wince with pain but with a wider grin :-P Worth an Oscar for putting up this normal behavior.

The Frenzy Shake - Very similar to the crusher. But the intensity ebbs and lows as the excitement of the person shaking your hand varies. The most effervescent the mood is, the more effusive the handshake would be. Your digits wilt under the grip; aah this is like being in a boot camp.Your wrists take the toll due to vigorous shaking and swirling.

The Superficial Shake - Such shakes leave you perturbed. Was I supposed to forward my palm? Did I do a mistake? Oh!! how embarrassing. These shallow ones are so flimsy that you do end up feeling awkward. I remember one of my teacher at school wished me for my birthday and when I forwarded my hand, she hardly grasped my hand. Maybe her school never taught her handshake etiquette!! Oh but she studied in the same school :-S

The Wrenched Shake - You want to loosen your elbow and shoulder joints? Go shake hands with this group. They would twist and turn you arm so much that your nuts and bolts at the joints would need tightening. And not to forget the aches. 

 The Clinger Shake - You are in a pitiful situation here. The hand shake done, you get into conversation and your hand is still clasped onto. Your palm gets sweaty, it blends with the other guy's sweat and creates a thin film around each others palm. Yet, the clinger just clings on and on, never letting it go!!. Either you try to unclasp in an artful way or enjoy the massage your palm gets in the process :-)

 The Soft Shake - From the ladies of course. This would be the soft, delicate and dainty one. They bring the guys into the line :-P

The Misfired Shake - Your hands and the his hands don't come together; yet both stick them out and it doesn't sync. Hurriedly, you pull it off together but nevertheless its not done!!

Do you folks have any more to add to this list? Please be free to shake hands with me!! :-)