Tuesday, September 14, 2010

If it happens in India

Few of my observations here makes me analyze how the same would be if they were implemented in India. Trust me, they turn out to be interesting and at times hilarious. Its interesting how the culture and composition of a place largely influences the business and the market as a whole. What we see is a whole new perspective of how they try to sell a product or how they implement ideas depending on the geography, culture and values and the belief of local people.

For example, you can never ever see a pair of floaters/sandals on a food or beverage product in India. Traditionally, footwear is not worn in households; as such; seeing it on a food product?? Hmm...the politicians, the religious leaders, the media would all have some cud to chew on for few months!!

Another one that's normal here is the usage of Toll Free numbers. Every product or service has a toll free number for customers to use. To make it easy for people to remember, these Toll free numbers have a combination of digits and alphabets. For e.g - 1-800-DENTIST helps find a dentist in the preferred county in the Bay Area.

Now, we know we do have toll free services in India as well. What got me thinking made me laugh out loud. There are a series of HELP toll free numbers here - 1-800-HELP. Now what if we had such a number in India, for India. As Hindi is our national language; the number would be 1-800-BACHAAOOO :-)

Its common to name the vehicles after a city or a region here in the USA. So we have Chevrolet Malibu named after Malibu, CA, Hyundai Santa Fe named after the city of Santa Fe, New Mexico, Toyota Tundra, named after the mighty Tundra to name a few. For folks into automobiles, you would be interested to know that there are 41 cars named after Places in North America. For more check this - Cars named after places in North America.

Yes, analogical thinking again. What if our Maruti or TATA tries to name the vehicles after places in India. How about Maruti Patiala? What better idea to retaliate than naming NANO as TATA SINGUR :-P


 Another one keeping my mind entertained are the description of Indian food in local restaurants here. Let me give some work to your brain. What is Fried Lentil Flour Doughnut dipped in sambhar?

Common!! Think!!

Its our Sambhar Vada :-P

For more amusement, check this menu of a famous restaurant - Indian food menu with description.

OK, so we have the Taco Bells, the McDonalds, the KFCs, the Pizza Huts, the Subways in India. What if they had similar description so that our folks can follow. Hmm, let me try. A veg sandwich would be described as

Tamaatar, pyaaz, gobi, jatun, paneer, kheera aur mexico ki thiki hari mirchi bhari roti; peeli chutney ke saath

How nice!! Your stomach is fill the time you have finished reading this :-)


People at restaurants and shops address customers as Miss, Mr, Child generally. Apart from that we also get to hear Honey, Beauty, Sweetheart.... A security officer addressed me yesterday "How are you today Beautiful?" A person at the sales counter wished me "Take care honey". The manager at a hotel said "Good choice my sweetheart". I was also asked elsewhere "How are you darling?" These are all just pleasantries exchanged and its common.

If this has to happen in India!! Imagine a shop assistant asking a lady Aaj kaisi ho darling? or a bus driver wishing a passenger Avlida Jaaneman

I don't have to say!! You know it!!:-P



  1. Special training is provided to people who visit India from the USA->how to behave with females especially.

    Culture makes a big difference.

    Your point well taken.

    Very hilarious post with substance.

  2. Good the writers block is done with!
    Interesting observations that you have noted
    The hygiene behind donning footwear is still not taken up here. So the possibilities of selling footwear in a food and beverage shop here is remote.
    Help line in India? um the reply would be help yourself.

    If cars in India are to be named after places , well there will be acrimony amongst politicians and regional bosses to hijack the naming.

    Cuisines and menu are funny .

    Goodness me the pleasantries of that kind in India. The moral police of VHP , Bhajrang dal and the Siva Sena would break down the restaurant.

    We don't have the trait of wishing "good day" do we?
    This is a unique country- we live in.

  3. If the shop keeper in India uses the pleasantaries of janeman, beautiful and honey....... Cheruppu pinjidum :)

  4. It is hilarious.
    The moment we put shoes on a food pack in India, MNS would bash up the company execs and start breaking their offices.
    Your description of the help line is most interesting.
    It seems you are enjoying your stay in the US

  5. A,

    This is just a humorous post; I am not at all talking about USA folks behaving with Indian women.

    I am just giving an analogy here.

  6. anil,

    Yes :-) Thank you, yeah these are trivial though but interesting.
    Yes, its a taboo to wear footwear inside temples and homes still.

    So having footwear printed on food product will hurt religious sentiments

    I agree with you on help in India. Cars having names of places, well....every state would fight!!

    Hahahaha such pleasantries..forget it..


  7. chitra,

    Hahahaha..aama..pinjadhukkapuramum adi nikkadhu :-D

  8. Chowla sir,

    Thank you. Glad you liked them.
    Oh yes, enjoying my stay here as usual :-)
    This place has become like a second home to me

  9. Hillarious, specially the last paragraph.Thank you so much for such a nice post...still laughing thinking about it.

  10. LOL..uve summed it up real well girl.I loved the footwear thing u mentioned. Leave alone going bizzzaare reacting,our politicos will also end up hurling footwear at each other!!

  11. Samvedna,

    :-D Glad you enjoyed reading it. Thank you. :-D

  12. hehehe. I just have one thing to say "Too good"... I was laughing reading this. And im smilin as I'm commenting. Too good a post. I so wonder what will happpen if this happens in India. A bus driver sayin alvida janeman? hehehe. and that sambhar vada was lentil blah blah blah... hehehe.. I enjoyed readin this

  13. Interesting observations and the comparisons you have drawn are outright hilarious! Loved all of them ;D

  14. u cracked me up.. Hilarious.. 1-800-BACHAAOOO is the best...

  15. Had to laugh at all the points , sandals on products hmmm
    and the toll free numbers .. by the time we get connected it wont be an emergency any more in india :)

    and Oye PAtiala maruti yayyy MERA SHEHAR hai woh... yes its is known or how about MARUTI LUDHIANA , MARUTI GIDDERBAHA he he heeheh

    and oh my god Yes Petal, you said it correct love, here we talk nicely to everyone, FLower, pumpkin are common words used esepcially towards females.. I have to really really think when i am in india , I try not to talk in english else panga ho jayega

    and what you said was in hindi how about punjabi.. KIDAAN DARLING..

    OYE FUL, kithe challi :) he heheeh

  16. rofl..damn hilarious..cultures matter so much..forget US (or any other country for that matter) and India, come and live with gujjus and you will know the difference in the culture..check out this video http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150242672730094&ref=mf

    remind me to share one funny incident with u when we chat ok? about my uncle who lives in UK :P cannot share it here :D

    loved the comparisons and the post..too too too good :)))

  17. yosika onume ila... if we try to exchange the pleasantaries... apo semaya oru slap :) ! I even tried to the cab driver... he said" bemali, moddikitu erangu " !

  18. I m left with no other words,the above comments say it all..
    reading your posts have always been such a delight.

  19. hahahah i was laughingggg after reading C's comment: . Cheruppu pinjidum..lolll

  20. The toll free numbers in India are actually TOIL FULL numbers!Getting through the maze ( if at all they pick up the call or direct us ) can be the most frustrating. And the rude, indifferent voice that you finally get to - you can sense his mirth in telling us that we are lost!

    I chuckled for a long time over the Indian versions of pleasantry! :D
    Esp', the Malayalam equivalents, ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

  21. LOL @ 'Bachaoo','TATA Singur'..

    OMG..."peeli chutney ke saath" that really sounds ewww ;)

    The biggest ROFL bomb: Alvida Janeman :D

    Wonderful post Inni :) Okay lemme check the PDF !

  22. Chandana,

    :-D Thanks a ton girl. Glad you laughed out reading this.
    Makes my day. Imagine what will happen in India!

    Hahahahaha :-)

  23. RGB,

    Thank you. Glad you loved them :-D

  24. A.K,

    Awesome! :-D Hahahaha I really want a helpline with 1-800-BACHAAOO :-P

  25. Bikram,

    Thank you. Oh yes, toll free are not active there
    Maruti Patiala suited somehow :-D

    You better stick to hindi in India then. :-)

    Punjabi; I am learning still :-)

  26. Neha,

    :-D Thanks Neha. Absolutely, its different each place.
    Will check out the video for sure.

    Thank you, glad you liked them.

  27. Hary,

    :-P True. While in Rome, do as the Romans do :-)

  28. Anurag,

    Thank you very much :-)
    I am so glad to hear this. I hope to write more such delightful posts, your comment is encouraging :-)

  29. Bala sir,

    You said it right. Self help is best in India.
    Hahahaha, Pleasantries in any Indian language will definitely give you a chuckle :-D Ha ha ha ha!!

  30. Scribbler,

    :-) Thank you. Glad you liked them
    Peeli chutney is mayonnaise :-D

  31. Alvidaa janeman !!! some imagination that !

    Fried lentil doughnut !! LOL ! Hilarious. Keep them coming !

  32. Everything u wrote is just awesome.
    Kudos to your sense of humor that you can find it in this way..:)

    What a thing to read..:)



  33. those are really hillarious pointers :P Maruti Patiala!!! ROFL
    very good observation :D loved the topic :)

  34. Nipun,

    Thank you. Oh yeah!! :-P My humor and my wit makes me think like this.

    :-) Glad you liked it

  35. Rajlakshmi,

    :-) Thank you. Glad you liked it.

  36. I am literally rolling on the floor....llolllzzzz......


  37. sm,

    For some reason, your comment is not displayed here.

    Anyway thanks for your comments, yeah it does how how they believe in what they do.

    Cant be the same in India

  38. Makk,

    :-D I am so glad you enjoyed the post

  39. hii

    this is obnoxious.. slippers on food!

  40. AS,

    Its USA. Its not obnoxious here :-)

  41. yups.thats why many things of USA shock us

  42. so language connects cultures? If you know the language of a country, understanding its culture will be easy. The best thing is having an international language everywhere. Of course English does this job.

    Nicely written thought provoking funny post..

  43. Tomz,

    True. English really helps. Thank you.

  44. hey its a gr8 post.....liked it....
    nice humour...:)

  45. I think if Coca Cola brought that product here, it would still sell (with floaters)
    People are just addicted to these aerated waters

  46. Haddock,

    Hmm I think so; it would still sell.
    But the politicians and the moral police wont let them easy. They want some fodder you see

  47. Hi,

    Have been reading your blog as a silence reader... :) But had to drop in for this post!!

    help line, Fried Lentil Flour Doughnut dipped in sambhar?

    can't stop laughing...

    n ya regarding addressing people ... why to think about customers... just imagine ... addressing Jaaneman and darling to our very own dear ones at home itself will create chaos :P :P

    good post!!!

  48. Ramya,

    Hey Welcome to B Log. I am glad that you have reading me for quite a while. Happy to read your views now :-)

    :-D Glad glad!! You laughed out? Good.

    True!! I never thought on these lines, addressing dear ones itself is a big problem!! :-)

    Thanks for dropping your thoughts. I appreciate it

  49. Holy Lama,

    :-D fertile?? Hmm thank you :-D

  50. nice post, made me smile, dat yeah it all existed n i never noticed, so true.. :)
    n i like dis name insignia alot... :)

    My SPacE- Wen i was a boy

  51. Unruly Rebel,

    Welcome to B Log. :-)
    Glad you liked it.

    You liked the name Insignia? Cool!! Happy!

    Keep dropping by whenever you can :-)

    Thank you.


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