People, Perspective and Transition

"You told me you both belong to same country and same city" inquired the Philippine guy I and a friend met at the Los Angeles Metro rail station few years ago.

My friend and I decided to visit Universal Studios in Hollywood and were looking at the route map in the Metro station when we noticed a guy who seemed to be looking for the same destination. We introduced ourselves and got talking. He was working for a shipping company and he said he was the Captain. We told about our work and that we worked for the same firm and belonged to the same city in India.

He asked this question when she(my friend) and me were communicating with each other in English. We answered in affirmative to which he asked again "Then why are you two talking in English? You can talk to each other in your common language". The fact was that she and me did belong to the same city and we did have 3 common languages between us - English, Hindi and Kannada; though our native tongues were different. Yet both of us were very comfortable and fluent in English and thats why we used English to communicate.

Now to explain this to this person was difficult. He was like "When we meet people of our country, we speak in our local language. Why do you guys use a foreign language to communicate?" Now boy!! how do we explain that this was one language we could express ourselves well than our local language? He was not able to understand. I told him - Do you want to understand the meaning of Diversity? Come to India :-)

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I have learnt that people are really good. Its just few insane rules and laws of the land set by group of selfish folks that has resulted in misunderstandings and incorrigible differences. Why am I saying this? As I was writing this post; I recalled an incident when I seemed to have got lost. This was 5 years ago. I was loitering outskirts of a town in the Bay area; and I lost my way. I didnt carry a phone then. I had to get back to my hotel. I didnt know what to do; whom to ask for help. A flea market nearby; all the shop keepers were busy packing for the day. I just approached a man and asked him if he could help me find a nearest bus stop or if I could use his phone to call a cab. He offered to drop me to my hotel. I was apprehensive in the beginning but sometimes; you need to trust people. On the way; he told me that he was a Pakistani and he guessed right that I was an Indian. It was a pleasant surprise the way the man treated me; respect and care. Long lost siblings? He talked about how much he likes Indian movies and he has few Indian friends. He was feeling sad for state of affairs between the two countries. My perspective changed a great deal that day. I can never ever forget that guy and his help.

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Mark is an American. He is a driver with the hotel I generally stay in the Bay area. We have small talks whenever we meet and recall the incidents of my earlier trips. He got married in the year 1982 and I told I wasnt born then. He told me that he felt too old now :-P We were discussing about how public transport is in the Bay area and he was curious to know how it was in India. When I mentioned about people hanging off the bus and traveling sitting on the roof; he was shocked. Repeatedly asking me with curiosity - "Really?"  But what he confessed made me ask him "Really?" It seems the last time he rode a bus was in the 60s. :-|

American way of life people!!

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 A young lady managing a shop in Costa Rica figured out I was an Indian. She told me how she watched an Indian soap that is aired every week. She was curious to know if everyone of us here dressed so rich and colorful. She asked me was it true that parents decide on their child's marriage and also choose the girl/boy to marry. I said yes. She was like "How can that be possible". I went at length explaining the concept of "marriage is between families" in India. When I left the shop, I could see her stunned with a gaping mouth :-)

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THE TRANSITION - I am undergoing few behavioral changes now that I am back in India.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do!!

From smiling at strangers to keeping my face grim and suspicious. Else I will be under suspicion that I am trying to fool them to something by my charming smile!!

From wishing a guy a "Hello" to put my head down and walk away as soon as I can. Else; forget "Hi"; a mere look at a guy is enough to send wrong signals here in India.

From greeting "Hi, how are you doing today" at a store to straight down to "Get me the menu" with a cold stare.

From mentioning "Thank you, You have a great one" to keeping mum and going my way as no one acknowledges a Thank you. It happened with the rickshaw driver today. He gave me a queer look when I thanked him :-S

From waiting for the Ped cross signal and crossing the road at designated crossing to jay walking. Else you can never cross the road; walk across even when vehicles run amok as if you are invisible and challenge them if they can hit you; my body is made of steel :-P

From hearing to "Let me be fair" to "Can you take care of me please. Will process it faster for you" - Bribes!!

From standing in queue to barging in.

From walking in an organized way to nudging and pushing making way.

From giving right of way at YIELD to steering way ahead almost knocking off other vehicles.

From walking peacefully on the walk path to walking cautiously so as to not to fall inside a opened manhole.


Let me wrap up with this series of incidents. Dubai to Bangalore flight had only Indians. The pushing and jostling started right there in Dubai. People were rushing as if they wont get seats in flight! I had to politely ask a woman to watch her way and when most were doing the same, I gave up. Next were the commanding behavior by few passengers.

IMMIGRATION COUNTER - BANGALORE AIRPORT

A foreign couple were finding it difficult to fill the immigration form. They approached a staff for help. He redirected them to someone who wanted "currencies" (dollars/euro) . Aaah, what a first impression of our country and people.

The immigration officer invites people with a cold stare and suspicious look; making visitors feel "Oh I am sorry I am here". No smiles, no greetings, ask few stupid questions; make themselves feel important and treat visitors as if they criminals. What about "Welcome to India. Have a nice stay here". Wont the visitors feel happy and comfortable that they are at the right place? Instead make them feel apprehensive and paranoid!

Clear immigration, come to customs. Inspect, inspect, inspect just to flick some more "currencies" or flick some nice stuff they seem to like. A police at the customs requested a passenger to get him 2 bottles of liquor from duty free; he thrust $100 in his hand. I could see that he had wads of dollars.

Clear customs and come to the baggage claim. When your baggage arrives, someone offers to help you lift it off the carousel. Just nudges as if he is helping; when all he does is just touch the baggage and it was you who really lifted it. You try to show some gratitude by tipping. Offer him INR; oops! "Ma'am give me some currencies" is what you hear. When you say him to make do with INR 50; he says "Thanks, you keep it".