Saturday, January 29, 2011

My Republic Day Parade Wish list

I was commenting on Anil's latest post - Musings. I could not resist myself to talk a bit here in my space as well. Oh! how silly we are; we search for a reason to rant; we do that even if we do not get a reason to.

Folks, Belated Republic Day wishes. Pardon me for wishing you late; but was held up a bit at work. Yeah, here is one more RANDOM post about our Republic Day...(I hear few Sighs and Yawns)

I have been watching the republic day parade on Doordarshan since a child. Remember the Doordarshan? Our national channel? Yeah, the grand parade thats held every year in our Capital. The long, organized, predictable parade; which I have been watching with a sense of immense pride and patriotism for my country. I love the display, the march pasts of the defense regiments, the tableau, the folk dances.......Its so rich, diverse, colorful just like our country. Its long, coordinated, sometimes erroneous, a bit chaotic but you know what to expect just like our big fat wedding.

But our big fat wedding nowadays comes with a twist; people wanting to experiment; like getting married in a hot air balloon or having a DJ playing Rap music for the 'Sangeet'. Similarly I would wish to see some twists to our Republic Day parade. Here is my wish list.

We are pretty sure impressed with those sleek missiles and polished battle tanks which are kept in a very neat condition; never used and never fired. We are a peace loving nation dearies. Why not? But I would wish to see a demo of those tanks; but fire at whom? No not at anyone; but at the skies so that the roar and noise can wake up those dignitaries and politicians who are yawning, napping, gossiping, day dreaming, picking and seeming so disinterested.

I would wish to see the tableau of J&K depicting stone throwers, the tableau of Karnataka depicting illegal mining, the tableau of Arunachal Pradesh as a tourist place to visit with "visa" on arrival. I would wish to see a tableau of AP depicting their people boarding a flight to San Francisco and a tableau of greener Punjab where the cell phone providers earn their moolah from ISD calls.

I would wish if they depicted real India. A float showing rain woes in Mumbai or a traffic woe in Bangalore. I would appreciate a float showing rotting onions in APMC yards or a float overtaking other floats on the wrong side and zooming to make up for late arrival due to its previous night at a rave party or a float where every lakes are encroached and apartments showing up as "Lakeview apartments"

It would be nice if our tigers were bestowed with the National Bravery Award and are paraded to celebrate their bravery and survival instincts even with so much danger.

Talking about the motorcycle parade, I would wish to see them without helmets, without license driving on the wrong side. I would wish to see a better daredevil stunts on the motorcycle that can match closer to acrobatic skills of zooming 2 wheelers doing a wheelie on our expressways.

I love the performances of traditional folk dances by school students and their march pasts. But it would be interesting to see these kids' social networking skills, to hear their 'accented' English and their SMS lingo.

I would wish to see our 'real' treasures - the beggars, the homeless, the child laborers, the sick and the needy being paraded than the bejeweled horses. I love the fact that we have a chief guest each year to witness the parade. It must be once in a lifetime experience for them to witness the world's most impressive parade. So it is for me :-)


  1. RD parade, in my school days I so wished to go there at least once, but now it remains an unfulfilled dream.

    Also, about the real India being depicted in the RD parade, it only shows the brighter side(which isn't bright anymore).

  2. Bindu, I cannot stop smiling, smiling and smiling.
    Apt indeed! But be wary of the patriotic many who would fume at you for being cynical and impertinent. You are not seeing the progress, the development, and the “achievements” this country has made. Though, officially we have more than 40 percent of the population in the BPL. That is a pale insignificant when you compare the achievements. Remember with some more dedication from our scientists we will sure fire the rocket to the moon with an Indian “Babu” in it. What is some poverty when you compare that? And we can consider the millions who die famished, the ones still born, the children who are abysmally malnourished, and the ones who die before they reach their first birth day, all of them martyrs for a cause .And the shinning armoured battle tanks- well if you want to test them, test fire them on the displaced tribal’s and their Maoist supporters.

  3. Whatever you've said is true.The Republic Day Parade show us the India we wish,rather than the India she is.Yes,there are vices,but we need to be realistically optimistic(I leave it to you to understand this phrase :P).The power does lie in the hands of the Public.If we use our brains properly,we might be much closer to be able to parade the true India with great pride. :)

  4. Interesting wish list you got there! Funny, yet 'stabbingly' true :P So honey, they will remain just a wish list.

    I love these parades too, love watching them for whatever they're worth, and I've been part of it as an NCC cadet.

    The tableaus as we know, are not truth platforms to exhibit ground realities, they're more for the feel-good factor, showing our "unity" in diversity, displaying our "strengths" yada yada!

    I wish... someday we can make India what WE aspire it to be :) A top to bottom cleansing for starters, whatsay?!

  5. to be honest, I never found these parades interesting! always lacked patience to watch them! about your wishlist - what do I say! the moment I read mumbai floods and bangalore traffic (include Mumbai there too!) I was like - ye kabhi sach nahi hoga!

  6. Your blog's popularity is gonna take a dive if you make such sarcastic, cynical comments on the Great Indian Republic!

    I will add Kerala's float- devotees gaping open-mouthed at the govt officials lighting the Jyothi on one side and on the other, people lying crushed to death. On a side, We can have a few Malayalees sitting around a pile of money tainted in red and laughing and playing with the heap.

  7. Enigma,

    I never wished that! I feel watching it on TV is better
    You are right!


    :-D :-D :-D I am so glad you liked the post. When I read your verses and started to comment, I realized I have so much to add and thought about a post.

    Anil, I have already been bashed by people who have branded me "pro-American" and a unpatriotic for having called a spade a spade. That is alright! Why not? I am seeing achievements, progress, changes everywhere around me!!

    Progress in expanding the Chinese border, achievements by our government of having numerous scams in their kitty, changes in government and lackadaisical attitude everywhere.

    Testing the missiles on the displaced tribes and wildlife is a better idea! Lets create an awareness program and market this idea to our government. What say? :-)


    Exactly! I do get your realistically optimistic phrase here. I am living in hope my dear. Lets see.


    :-) Yup! isn't it? But I am sad when you say its going to be just a wish list.
    I have the same hope as well.


    Yes! but lets have hope! common!!


    Errr....oh my! Is that so? I have been already fired for being "unpatriotic".

    You know what Bala? I added Kerala's float and then decided to omit it as I was damn sure you will add it for me. I wanted you to do the honors and here it is.

    Thanks :)

  8. Now, we put out a lot of carbon dioxide every year, over 26 billion tons. For each American, it's about 20 tons ( Because you are Pro American !) For people in poor countries, it's less than one ton. It's an average of about five tons for everyone on the planet.At least,in that way,we are contributing to the well being of the world !Aren't we?

    Do you seriously think that ours is the worst crowd in the whole world?
    We could be better.

    I seriously wish,your wish list remain a wish list.Every person has a side to his or her own life,which is a the secret garden, kept away from the eyes of others.That is how life is. Then,how do you expect a country to walk around naked ?

    Things are not always the way they look like.Do you have an ideal place to compare with ?

    There is no perfect situation in life.Things do not change,we change.

  9. dr.antony,

    Before anyone else gets 'influenced' by your comment :) I just want to make sure you got the satire in my post and also in my comments.

    There is nothing like a better crowd or a worse crowd. More than anyone else; I seriously wish my "wish list" remains does not even happen in my wildest dreams.

    Please note that this is just a satirical take on current situation in our country. And talking about my patriotism; I am a person who has immense respect for my motherland. There have been few situations in my life where I chose not to go away from my country even when opportunities knocked on my door; not once but few times.

    Thank you.

  10. As always, super post. You always cover everything in a post. But this time, you left out an important part of our life. It is my job to help you with this.

    Usually, the President awards medals in recognition of those members of the armed services who showed exceptional courage in carrying out their duties.

    The President should give an award to the person responsible for the biggest corruption scam in India every year for that year. This year, even though Commonwealth Games and Adarsh Housing is in contention, the award would certainly go to A. Raja for 2G Spectrum scam. Wouldn’t it be an emotional scene if we see President Pratibha Patil pin this award on A. Raja in front of millions and millions of viewers. Even visualizing this brings me tears of joy.

  11. Oh..I was not serious ! That Pro American was just a joke !Sorry,but you mistook it.

  12. SG,

    Yeah that would be a scene of the century. Thanks for pitching in.


    Oh! no problem. Please dont be sorry. I have been hit few times by readers who do not get the theme of my post - be it fiction or satire or humor. I have to explicitly explain it them, but by then I would have rubbed them on the wrong side and damage done. Thats why I made a clear statement to you. Apologies for the mistake. Thanks again, no issues :)

  13. Thats quite some list ! If each of those floats had your wish list, it would bring great prominence to several of the crying needs of our present day times..

  14. We just show how rich each state is culturally through this tabeleaux forgetting all the issues each of them is facing . If only they could show that both PM and President can get a first hand view of the problems of each state.
    Lolsss for the tiger thing. God knows the number of tiger they showed in "Save Tiger" Tabeleaux this year really exists in our country :P

  15. @Insignia,

    You made me laugh and cry at the same time. Excellent post.

    Out of all these, I wrote a post on Corruption last night. (Not a satire though). Good timing.

  16. Seems like I did not miss any post. I was out for a week and thought there might be more posts...

  17. Even I was a great fan of this parade, now may be, as you said there is nothing new or no variety I hardly watch or wait for this.

  18. I get the subdued satire..Honestly at present I am wondering as what is it that we are celebrating? Corruption, mismanagement, lack of governance...Sorry for being cynical but I feel that India Story is meandering.

  19. I would have loved to see a Tableau with a cell tower on it surrounded by RAJA, SIBAL, KALMADI, PAWAR and being pushed by MMS, SG and RG

  20. ithu yelam happened ... then our country manam ship la eri poidum! ... i know which is already... but then not to blame politicians.. etcc... coz literates like me and yu ( seri seri only yu ) will never get in and only point fingers... ethachum thapa sona.. manichifying

  21. having said that... sarcasm at its best!

  22. quite a nice wish list you have:D thumbsup

  23. do not like it,
    Basic question is Does India really become Independent ?

  24. Kavi,

    Thank you and maybe reflect our real being


    Yeah true. We celebrate our cultural diversity and military prowess thats all


    Thanks, glad you liked it. I was busy with work; so did not find time to post anything in between :)


    Yes, its the same thing.

    Alka Gurha,

    Welcome to B Log. Thanks for your views.
    Yes, I wonder the same and I guess lot of us are confused with these thoughts. What are we celebrating?

    Keep visiting.

    Chowla sir,

    Hahaha good one.


    Its happening already isnt it? Its not about we never get in but only point finger. Honestly tell me, can poeple like you and me get in? Would they allow? The best we can do is highlight the state of affairs in forum as these and do our bit.

    No issues, no argument is wrong. Its all our views. Free-a vidunga.

    Thanks, glad you liked it.


    Thanks. :) But I want it to be nothing more than my wish list :)


    We all have to answer that :)

  25. i represented New College in a chennai RDAy parade during 80s..wonderful experience..good post as usual boss..cheers

  26. To the point.. as usual... and yeah I would like to second all ur wishes too :-)

  27. Sweety..You are awarded in my blog.

  28. After reading various comments , I felt I want to add on.
    You perhaps will be described as the most prominent Post Independent stooge of the USA. Enjoy the accolade.

    And to those who rubbish and scoff your post as unpatriotic and cynical , I have to tell this-In the country "Abracadabra" bordering the State of Timbuktu, things are far worse than in India. They have bigger scams, and all muck. Perhaps this information will make some of our patriotic Indian love-bees happy?That we are not worse.

  29. Hi Bindu,
    Republic day resolution ? Or is it endorsing Mark Zuckeberg and Juilan Assange, that you eliminated the comment overview before publishing?

  30. Ramesh,

    Thanks. I guess you had a nice experience then


    Thanks. :-)


    Thanks Neeha. Thats so sweet of you. I shall drop by


    Hahahaha (bows) :-P

    I have always dreamt of visiting the Timbuktu and Abracadabra. And now you drop this bomb!
    Oh! what would I do now :-(

    When did we claim we are worse? :-) We need to discover a 'better' word :-)

    Nah! I removed comment moderation start of the year. It was too much pain for me to 'publish' each comment. :)


I'd love to know what you thought :-) Please shoot!