In Poor Shape

Poor...
Poor...
Poor...

This is not a remark on any of my report/marks card. I have never got such a remark ever during my school days. But now a well grown up adult; mature and responsible me got not one; but repeated POOR remark.

I was dismayed; was my condition so bad? Well, these were the remarks made by my physical trainer. I thought let me keep this a secret; so that I do see some effects. But a secret and me? That's not at all possible; I am loud-mouthed and brag a lot; due to which most of my efforts dont end up the way I would want it to. Thats OK!!

Age is catching up faster and thanks to my lifestyle and my work; I practically lead a sedentary lifestyle. So thought let me wring my muscles(as if I had them!!) Well, the objective was to keep my tummy tucked in; I do not have the flattest ab but yeah its flat; but I think it can get better. So the just shaping up love handles and a bit of flab that I have ought to be banished!

Two weeks ago I visited this fitness center and enrolled myself in. The first 3 days were building up the stamina. I am proud to have added few more lingo to my dictionary. Thus started my early morning routine. It was difficult and is difficult even now to wake up at 6:30 and rush to the fitness center. Cardio exercises - treadmill, cross training and cycling. Initial excitement and the urge to see the different me bundled with encouragement seeing others working out pumped up my enthusiasm. I thought my body is not that bad; after seeing people with layers and tiers of fat deposits working their sweat out.

But I was wrong!!


Forth day - my trainer got my height, weight, BMI, fat and protein analysis, water content, muscle weight done. Next was the fitness test. Carido, cross training, stretching, weight training. He assessed me; never even once did he approve about my lack of exercise throughout my entire life. A constant smirk, a comment thrown in "Girls are flexible. You are not trying much. This is the minimum weight. You can do it"

Even after much cajoling and encouraging; I stuck to minimal weight and painful stretching. And then my fitness was assessed.

Protein percentage - Under
Minerals percentage - Under
Fat                          - Excess

and so on.....................The only consolation was that my weight and my BMI was normal and within limits. Everything else was either under or excess :-( My trainer had the following comments on my chart

Fat - Reduce 10.2 kg and Muscle - Put on 6.4 kg. (while continuing to retain my weight)

:-S

Well, this is my beginning and I have started on my training and workouts according to the plan devised for me. You know how one feels insecure and scared seeing new things and being in a new environment, its the same with me. I dread when I see all those sophisticated machines which exist to help us to look good and keep fit. Their names are as fancy as they look - Chest Press, Lat Pulldown, Hip Adductor, Hip Abductor, Rear Delt, Ab Crunch, Chest Fly, Shoulder Press, Rear Fly.............Phew! It goes on.Their complex mechanism and the enticing digital readings which show how much calories you have lost, the speed and your heart rate. One cant stop but awe in wonder how they can analyze you and size you up.

And now the actions!! Few of them are so desperate to lose those extra flab that they run on the treadmill as if they are running for their life. Huffing and puffing, sweating and panting; they work our rigorously. Few are amusingly thin that they come to add some weight - body building. Few are senior folks who are immaculately fit and are so agile and flexible that they can put a swift teenager to shame. They ritually exercise and are so dedicated. And then there are few who come in the best of designer outfits and fragrance oozing out as they work out; rich folks you see. Few are fit and they workout to maintain -  the boring group; they are not amusing at all.

Not to forget the ladies group who gossip around even while walking on the treadmill and then there are girls who seem to be inseparable from their cellphones. Among all these workouts and fitness regime are the trainers. It somehow seems to me that they get free entertainment watching all these people in action. They are lean and mean, seem to be docile until they flex their muscles. You then know their strength and stamina otherwise hidden deep beneath that slimness.

I whine in pain; smirk my face and close my eyes tight when I have to do weight trainings. My trainer keeps reminding me that the weights I use are minimal. Yet I repeatedly keep asking him if he can give me a lesser weight! Only to be given a look which puts me to shame! I want to run away right then. I bargain lot better with him than with any vegetable vendor. I say "10 of 2 sets each" and he "Its 15 of 3 sets each". I break down even before reaching the count of 5. I look to see if he is looking away and if he is not observing me; I take unsolicited break. I reduce my weight or skip a count. I know I am cheating myself; but what would I do when I feel as my shoulder is being ripped apart! :-(

The bargain persists "I am done. How many counts? Ten..... Five more?........ No, see I cant even raise my hands to comb my hair.....Here let me help you."


He shares my load and tries to weight train me. I huff and puff, whine and smirk; shut my eyes tight while trying to exercise.

Image from http://www.fotosearch.com/UNC334/u22835842/

Amidst all this action, a lone soul at regular intervals silently stoops and bends to wipe the floor and machines clean to sparkle and wonders why people want to lose weight and fat in such glamorous way when all one has to do is some bending and flexing in the form of regular chores.