Monday, September 5, 2011

Inactive on Facebook

"Why arent you active on Facebook?" A question of confusion if Bindu has gone back in time or was it a question of serious concern if I was sane yet. Or was it a question due to disbelief that someone can actually have nothing interesting in life to share it among 'friends'.

I am a tech savvy person; grabbing the latest gadgets in town to exploring latest technology. But the concept of social networking has always puzzled me; maybe due to the fact that I am reserved by nature. The idea of flaunting yourself to the world - virtual world where you dont know 99% of the folks indeed intrigues me. I still remember sometime in 2005 when I asked a group of friends at office pointing at an application on their monitor "whats this?" I still recall that shitty stare I got from everyone around. This is Orkut, havent you heard about it?

"Uh..huh yeah, sorry I did not take a proper look" response never helped me. That very day; I logged onto gmail to create an orkut account. It remained dormant for a very long time; until I saw others posting pictures and my kindergarten classmates requesting for friendships. Oh great! Orkut brought us together again.

Well, I am a late entrant to Facebook as well. Joined as recently as 2 years ago; very discreet; rejected every other friend request from people I didnt know. I mean, why should I be friends with someone out there in some corner of the world? The answer was "to know each other better". Heck! let me get to know myself better first. It was overwhelming to see folks having 1000+ friends; were they really friends?

What is a friend? Facebook seems to have changed the very meaning of friendship. I can be friends with anyone - my mom, dad, husband, teacher, peon, maid, maid's daughter's boyfriend. You can be friends with your mother-in-law as well, can you believe that? Isnt it amazing? I can create a fan page of myself; ask people to 'Like' me. Just like; they cant 'dislike'. Facebook is just for human beings you thought? :) No! cats and dogs and cows and rats have a profile page and they update them regularly.

Hey whats for dinner today?

I have posted the menu on my wall. Go check

is not far off......

Strange are the ways. My classmates who didnt speak a word with me while in college send me FRIEND request. Manager sends friend request and request for farmville so that they can continue the game. Being an agrarian economy; if only our real farmers were as dedicated as our virtual farmers; we would be prosperous.

Anyway; that question got me thinking. I replied "My blog posts get updated as I post". He snapped "yeah thats ok, but why are YOU not active". Well, what do I write on the wall? As soon as I login, the WALL yells at me "Whats on your mind?"

Right now; I need to rush to the loo!!! Thats on my mind. Up next; what am I going to cook for dinner. Thats on my mind. I need to pay my credit card bills. That IS on my mind! Do you want to write on the WALL??? This wall is stronger than the Berlin wall.

Well, its kinda nagging; suggesting me to try this game or add a probable known person. Its just not just facebook; I was being emailed "Do you want Google+ request?" There were folks cribbing they didnt get request. Thats another maze I am still trying to figure a way out; I keep getting updates; spamming my mail box.

But its real entertainment if you look carefully. You get to know which flavor of ice cream your friend had or that a friend just came back from a parlor and feels her skin silky smooth after a facial or any event happening in your area or worse! your boyfriend broke up with you and your relationship status ought to be changed!!

The idea of friendship, privacy is lot changed, isnt it? Am I not adapting faster enough? Am I still living in iron age? How much is too much? You are not in if you dont have a social networking account. I told my husband; he chuckled and just commented "What a cheap life!!" only to join the bandwagon and guess what?

We are friends with each other now :-D


  1. :)

    Even I got 100+ friends now .. he he he But sadly most of them dont evne know if i am dead or alive ..

    Fb started with much fan fare but I somehow never got the gist of it. Orkut Was similar by the time I got hooked on to it , It was time to delete it ..

    and Glad you and hubby are now friends , well you can know what each other is upto now :) he he he

    You are just fine beleive me .. People who have 1000+friends on their list well probably have less in Reel life ..

    so whats for cokking tonight then :)

  2. There are is one thing I was a bit jealous about you. Your fb friend count was more . But now I guess I out ran you , I have over 85!!!!!

    Another factor that amazes me, you are friend with your mother in law. See the power of Fb!

    Perfectly true B, that if these folks on that stupid virtual farm was half as serious in their kitchen garden there would be fair enough food and veggies for all.

    But then this world is a cauldron of all kinds. How I managed 80 plus friends on fb I cant know. Well if I count my wife , kids and all and sundry with whom I have had close liaison then I will not touch a score for sure.

    So let us peek out of the stone age we are in. But cautious because the definition of friend is now redefined. A bit oddity involved.

    Quite a perfect post you wrote.

  3. To Join the bandwagon,that's it.I think it's extremely a personal choice.I am not good in it.I have a melange page,which I open once in two months or so.As you mentioned here,privacy is something which we used to define ourselves (I am strictly into the comfy zone of mine till date).But today I think majority of people who work and spend most of their time in front of this machine,they may be finding solace in communicating/socialising through the medium.

    Well,it's all fine Insi,let it all get defined and redefined.Change is inevitable.Though the criterion always is YOU,the person you ARE.

    cheers !

  4. Facebook = Public Book to share pictures with the world. An easier version of Flickr and Picasa. Beyond that, you have written all :)))

  5. I think being active or inactive on social network is a personal choice and both should not be questioned until and unless it is effecting someone else directly .These sites have their own merits and demerits.Privacy is a matter of concern .
    Btw ,i like facebook .Just two days back saw live on tv a professor of Duke university reunite with his family (in Assam)after 42 yrs .And it all started from facebook -- all those people who helped Kishan ( professor) were people he had never met before.Recently many of my fb friends helped another 'fb friend's friend' monetarily who suffers from a rare disease and the treatment cost was very high.I saw my cousin's baby the same day they adpoted her.

  6. Social Networking - pros and cons as people take it. Nice post! Covers all aspects.

    And yeah have you watched the recent commercial on tv where a boy check his mom's FB status which reads "cooking biriyani" - so the young lad with his friends end up home instead of the movie theatre. FB ka chamatkar :)

    I do not update regularly on FB, however I keep an account of what's going on with the ones I know:)

  7. I quite agree with what Kavita has written. Being active or inactive or sharing or not is personal choice. Privacy is indeed a concern. But, I know that I would never be in touch with so many of my school and college friends if not for FB. I actually feel that it has benefited me in a lot of ways, and I love the interaction it offers me :).

  8. well each coin has 2 sides...
    I agree with u till some point,but fb helps in keeping u in touch with ur near n dear ones.although d rest there hardly have concern about d others.i have my school frds themselves sent me request on fb,but when i m there in front of them...they dont even recognize you!dat was a strange thing i experienced......:)

  9. So long as one maintains a certain level of privacy,keeps list of friends limited to the ones one knows of, I dont see any problem o wit FB or other sites.

  10. Bik,

    :-) You beat me in friend count.

    Cooking? check my wall :-D


    I am on 91!!

    :-) Well, I am happy being in stone age and look around in facebook for fun!


    Yup! I have no problem with others at all Melange. These were just a humorous take.


    Yup!!! You said it!


    Thats the power of facebook; uniting people. why? Egyptian revolution started on facebook!!
    But its when people get addicted; its a problem


    I didnt see that ad yet!!


    Thats nice to hear; as long as its all genuine :)


    It does!

    You said it; how many will recognize you?

    Chowla sir,

    Yup! as long as you arent obsessed; its fine :)

  11. true B,

    guess what, there were many ramya's in my class.. few send request thinking its the other person... for the same reason, i deleted orkut..

    I just login to check the updates and logout!

    to me generally virtual world is scary...

  12. its just the half of them......:)

  13. The time is not too far off, B, when you will no longer be irked by the superficiality of human relationships. At that time, you will be able to look at FB and the comicality of modern-day relationships with amusement. From then on, you will learn not to be affected by the tamasha.

  14. Balan,

    Aww do you think such a time will come Balan? I am not sure; I am old school in many ways

  15. B, I fully agree with Balan's view . The superficiality of the facebook friendship.

    The fact is Facebook is only a medium of dissipating information not a forum for friendship as the definition goes.

    One can enjoy it that way !

  16. My clients are in my friends' list too :D To me, it has been a blessing. blogging too is a social site and I got a chance to know you through it :)

  17. Anil,

    Yup!! I agree with you and Balan on this. Dont look beyond the idea of facebook being a medium for sharing information :)


    :-| Yup! blogging i understand. But FB...... I am glad I have known really good folks through blog.

  18. You just said , 'how much is too much'...If you know an answer to that, then thats the key to smart social networking. Always knowing when to stop. And always to connect only with people who matter.

  19. Why have you written such a long post about a thing you don't care about?

  20. Abhinav,

    Just to show that I dont care :)


I'd love to know what you thought :-) Please shoot!