He first saw her just after she wore her helmet and started the ignition of her bike. Something of her caught his attention. It was her long flowing tresses. He wanted to get a glimpse of the lovely face. Yes...lovely face. He was sure that she definitely had a lovely face, her tresses complimenting her.
He was seconds late, she had her helmet on, was about to speed off, her wavy hair gleaming in the sun, soft and silky, he wanted to feel it. What was happening? He was attracted to her. An impulse told him that he should not let go of her. He wanted to know her. It was all happening in a jiffy. He had to decide his next move quickly. But she was already leaving the place.
He knew!! He knew he had to follow her. Off he went, started his vehicle and sped. He spotted her riding few yards away. He decided to follow her. She had a perfect height and was slim. He was dreaming about such a woman all these days. He was observing her as she sped ahead of him, her faded jeans, her shoes....He just wanted a glimpse of her.
He did not know how long he had to follow her, but he decided he wont quit unless he saw her. He continued to follow her for a while. She slowed down her vehicle, he noticed it was the traffic signal. It was noon and the roads were virtually empty due to the sultriness and the heat. He squeezed his way so that he could stand beside her. The digital clock at the signal showed 148 seconds more.
His mind was racing fast, should he initiate a conversation? Should he continue to follow her? He could not take his eyes off her flowing hair. He wanted to feel the softness of her tresses, forget himself!!
To his luck, she took off the helmet and when he saw her, he was awe-struck.............
For he saw a perfect and neatly maintained goatee.
hahahahahahahahha,....too good..loved it..and guess what? I didn't guess it this time :P
ReplyDeleteNice narration. Really brought out the things that go on in a guy's mind in this kind of situation.
ReplyDeleteNice ending. But I have one questions. Is she a "he" or is she a "she" with a goatee?
Oops. That should be a singular....question.
ReplyDeleteGood one :) I guessed there must be a twist, but the way you brought out the guy's feelings through it all was fantastic!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously speaking though, girls would never think like this right - follow someone on a mere whim!:-D
He he, I had been able to predict this! [The last time you had talked of 'tresses', it was not the one the reader would have thought, so this time it was much easier to guess].
ReplyDeleteAlso, in the first paragraph, it would be better if it is 'complementing' instead of complimenting. Of course, if you choose to be poetic, complimenting is also alright.
You could have tried being a bit less direct. Say, 'she' stops at a sulabh shauchalaya, and he also hesitantly and with embarrassment stops there, and sees 'her' enter the gents' toilet!
Well, which reminds me of sign outside toilet in a school (where fortunately I did not study) - "Toilet for boys ONLY"! ;)
Hi Insignia,
ReplyDeleteI like the way you ended the story. Keep up your own style.
nesamave.. my colege girls some have virumandi style meesai dhadi girdha and all.paka bayama iruku.adhum shave panage na fulla kalachu thalliduvom.free
ReplyDeleteha ha ha. had fun reading this.
ReplyDeleteInsignia .I knew the outcome though the description , the feelings were really nice. Recently I chanced upon a person with flowing tresses hair straightened and shampooed well, was wonder struck, and felt J... too
ReplyDeleteOh, I have to wait till the last line to know what happened in the end. Well done. A suspense thriller comedy...:)
ReplyDeleteNeha,
ReplyDeleteThank you. I am going to change my style next time onwards :-P
SG,
ReplyDeleteExactly!! You got it. Guys are hasty, ain't they? :-P
'She' is a 'HE' with long flowing hair :-)
lostworld,
ReplyDeleteThank you. Twist in the tale :-)
Oh yes!! girls would never do such crazy thing. Trust me, guys just do this sort of thing.
Ketan,
ReplyDeleteYou are smart, aren't you? Hmm..not everyone were able to predict, so I still feel good. :-)
Well, complement or compliment. Thanks for pointing out. Complement would be more appropriate.
And regarding your suggestion on being less direct...This is my imagination. 'She' didnt have any need to go to 'sulabh shauchalaya'......
:-)
soin,
ReplyDeleteHmmm...poor girls. But here 'she' is actually a HE. :-)
Gautam,
ReplyDeleteThank you dear. :-)
chitra,
ReplyDeleteGreat!! You guessed it! I have a person here who would make any lady jealous with soft silky and lengthy hair :-)
Hi Megha,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to B Log. Thanks, glad you liked it :-)
hahahah !!!
ReplyDeletewow..thoroughly enjoyed..I am still laughing, but you see so many times it has practically happened with me when I considered a boy a girl and vice versa:)
ReplyDeleteit wasn't surprise......
ReplyDeleteI got it some how..in middle that ..ITS HE.
lolzzzzzz
In all honesty, I talked of the alternate plot only because I wanted to bring up the sign outside the boys' toilet, which I was hoping you will find funny. But you didn't. :( Guess, I should try to lose my adolescent obsession with toilet jokes and all! ;) Anyway, so I feel I should not have used 'less direct' if that even mildly miffed you because as it is I was not suggesting something of immense value.
ReplyDeleteAnd in a story, whether the plot can be predicted or not is not the only significant element. I understand, your lack of time does not allow you to chart out more elaborate plots.
And I may or may not be smart, but I see these things only because I read posts with great attention (e.g., compliment v/s complement-thing).
All the best!
TC.
Nu,
ReplyDelete:-) Thank you
Antarman,
ReplyDeleteThank you. Yeah it so happens a lot now that men also try to be metro-sexual!
Makk,
ReplyDeleteSmart you!!
Ketan,
ReplyDeleteWhy are you justifying?? I am not peeved. Sorry, I didnt acknowledge your joke abt sign outside boys' toilet but I found that funny.
As it is, its just a fiction. I concentrate on narration, even if the plot is simple with not many twists. And yeah, my creativity is limited :-).
You are not only attentive to detail but also smart. Take it from me!!
:-)
Take care
YAyyyyyyyyyyyyyy... lai so what if he/ she had a goateee...
ReplyDeletehave you not heard the song MUNDA SADA BIGAD GAYA.. Aaj kal chalta hai.. LOVE is blind ..
and yeah its blind enough to NOT see the difference between man / woman boy / girl ...
but Dream girl i loved reading Hilarious, as usual I could not get it till the end .. now wondering maybe thats what guys felt when I had long hair and all that u described.. on my bike .. I DID NOT TAKE THE HELMET OFF Though
he he he he he
Kidding..
LOL that was a good 1...as neha said could not really predict till the end :)
ReplyDeleteBikram,
ReplyDeleteHehehehe I have heard the song!! Who knows!! The aftermath of the story is left to the reader's imagination :-P
You had long hair? I bet at least one guy would have wanted to see you!!
Thank you :-)
Thank you Gayathri. Hmm you couldnt guess the end..well it is more fun then!!
ReplyDeleteIt was a well laid out trap.
ReplyDeleteI was not even close to a guess
Guys are hasty ah? thats bcos women can dress up in jean and t shirt..that mite look like a guy, but we cant do otherway aaround....aparama engala 9 nu think panuvanga :D ...
ReplyDeleteHaRy
LOL.. too good.. first time on your blog and reading through various posts.. you certainly have a instinct of writer :) cheers!
ReplyDeleteThe goatee !! Huh ! That was such a let down !
ReplyDeleteI now have one more reason why helmets should be on..! They give hope you see !
:)
Thanks Chowla sir. Hope you enjoyed reading it
ReplyDeleteHary,
ReplyDeleteYeah, guys are hasty. What if women wear trousers and T shirts? Still...guys are hasty :-P
Hi Scattered Thoughts,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to B Log :-) Thanks much for your appreciation. This is lot of encouragement. Keep visiting!!
Kavi,
ReplyDeleteSadly yeah!! :-)
Oh my!! you really can think totally different. Yes, one more reason to have the helmet on :-)
Hahaha...this was a great buildup! Didn't expect the ending at all. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteThanks Shaunak. Glad you liked it
ReplyDeleteOhhahahahhaha.. lol.. :D
ReplyDeleteToo good. I've experienced this a coupla times. Weird! Such morons yar. Why do they give false hopes?! :P
Sooooper! :)
Late but early enough to join the fun. Hilarious.Happened with a friend of mine who saw this girl drying wet hair in winter Sun- turned out to be a Sardarji.
ReplyDeleteKarthik,
ReplyDeleteThank you..Haahahaha,,,so you too chased someone like this? :-P
Holy Lama,
ReplyDeleteNever mind :-)
Lol!!!! Hope the girl didnt pursue :-P
YEah I had long hair till about 5-6years ago, To my knees actually..
ReplyDeleteI regret cutting them now, just one of those things.. my dad did not talk to me for ages :)
and BTW how do you know there was only ONE guy who looked :)
Wow!!! Now you make me jealous Bikram!!
ReplyDeleteI know you regret after its lost...be it the hair or anything else :-P
Is it only ONE guy who looked??? Hahahaha I got ya!! I said 'at least one guy' and you spilled the beans!! How did you tackle him? I hope it was not tough :-)
He hehehe Well it got tackeled APNE AAP.. with the long hair I had a Great BEARD and a BIG MOUSTACHE toooo ... you could put lemons on them ha ha ha ha
ReplyDeleteGABBAR SINGH :) ha ha ha ha
oohh
ReplyDeletehahaha..nice nice..
kahani meim twist
very funny
ReplyDeletelol
Thats nice :-) Lot of things dont 'get tackled APNE AAP'. Now you should have lost your old self without all those hair....mustache and beard
ReplyDeleteStill good enough :-)
Hi sorcerer,
ReplyDeleteYes, kahani mein twist!
Thanks sm. Glad you liked it
ReplyDeleteAyyoooo
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi scarlet,
ReplyDeleteHahahaha!! Nice expression!
funny post! Kind of sweetly ironic too :D I would have given anything to see his awestruck face LOL
ReplyDeletecool work! ;)
Hi Smitzy,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to B Log. Thanks much. Lol!!! Guess he wanted to hide himself like an ostrich than let people see his awestruck face :-)
Keep visiting!
nice one:)
ReplyDeletewill write something like this soon:P