Saturday, May 21, 2011


If you have friends whose friends are studying in US universities or friends who complete their MS in US or friends who have got exported as bride getting married to a H1B holder - you will sympathize with me.

Yeah success is to flaunt. I know! But showing off as if everything is honey and cake is foolish no? Havent you tasted success at home? Didnt you work hard enough to taste that success? Since last week I have been seeing graduation photos being shared on facebook. The universities names were NOT delicious. I did not see a UCLA or a Georgia Tech or a Stanford. Let me get straight to the point. I want to ask few questions to no one in particular.

Why not celebrate by uploading college passing photos while in India? Dont tell me Facebook did not exist. 
Why dont you put up photos of the dishes you prepared while in India? Dont tell me you didnt cook while here at all!

Oh! Oh! not to forget the girls. I will call a spade a spade - few of them are good for nothing. They pay for an engineering seat, have year-backs and arrears. They seem so miserable when they force themselves to get a degree in engineering when they dont have that aptitude. Couple of years down the lane, get married to a US H1B visa holder and fly straight to Silicon Valley or New Jersey or Boston or Texas or Raleigh ;-)

Does it end there? Nah! "Had a lovely Saturday watching moon rise in Half Moon Bay holding hands together" Boy! oh boy! dont we have a moon out here? Or dont we have a bay out here? Or is it the moral police that restrict you from holding hands?

"Lazy Sunday morning. Wifey relaxed. Got her cereals and juice. Love you dear"...How romantic!
And the wifey "likes" the status and comments "The breakfast was delicious sweetheart. Mmmuuahh"

:-/ Forget all buy an i-gizmo and show off....We too get them here sir!

Painting a rosy picture that everything's well is making a fool out of oneself, isn't it? It irks me whenever I see such fake updates. Are you that jobless and cant keep your hands and legs idle? You post some picture in an exotic location and wait for Likes and Oohs and Wows. I know; I have a dream to visit that place sometime; but...but.....

I wanted to write about this for a while. Why am I writing this now?  A group of young fellas(friends of friend) aged between 22-25 going to celebrate their graduation were all spot dead in Missouri. The parents could not even fetch their bodies to India. Its not easy; its a struggle - the wretched life there. Expensive living, do-all-yourself, work, pressure of sending money back home..........

And yet you buy a third/forth/fifth whatever hand 1997 Corolla and yap off as if you are all so happy. No one is happy! no one can be happy. I know you are secretly counting your days there and given a chance would want to catch the first flight back home...only to come here and exclaim "Aww the traffic, the crowd....disgusting" You were born here right? You spent most of your life in this very place with traffic and crowd. You just go there for 2 years and your very home becomes alien!

Wake up folks, stop fooling.............yourself. 


  1. Completely agree.Boss if you were at home you would be having your traditional breakfast and not flaunting the shitty cereal stuff.One of the major reasons to delete my FB account was to get over such morons.

  2. All of them are excited when they leave for studies and once they are there for some time, they all want to come back. They become victims of fake universities, they have to wear insulting tags ( like radio tags placed on animals) they are killed and bullied (Australia),ridiculed and raped,still anything foreign is fancy.
    There was a time when specialty studies were not available in India and students would go abroad.Now the aim is not just to study,it is an attempt to settle down there,as if it is all heaven there.

    There is no place like home.It is time we realize that.I have friends and own brothers settled abroad and know their difficulties.They have paid heavy prices for living there.Their children grew up as western,and live like western.

    Times have changed.With all our problems,we still have excellent opportunities for good students.They will get respectable jobs,without getting bullied.

    Well,if someone has money to throw around,it is up to them.

  3. Many of these fellow and fellis are in trishanku swarga. they are neither happy here nor there.But they want to let know everyone or rather they are trying to convince themselves everything is hunky -dory. can't stand people who show off.

  4. Agree with you though I live in Raleigh. :)))

    The other side of the grass is NOT GREEN..I can tell you...

    Read my next post....due will like it. It is already written but will post tonight.

  5. Hmm.. Well well you seem pissed for some reason!

    It's all the excitement for the first times. After a few time, they themselves realize what they are being through.

    It's like although you like eating junk food but you cannot have it everyday, you'll get tired of it soon. The only thing that will ever satisfy you and you'll never get bored of is the usual home cooked food! :)

  6. Whew! You are really pissed off! This is a totally different post of yours, B. What you said must be true. I don't have any personal experience, but my niece got married to someone in Silicon and divorced him within a year. She couldn't stand that nerd it seems.

    Recently in my bank we were giving 'education loans' for guys going to UK. Boys who can hardly spell their own names are going to study BA English in London! The agent later confided to me that those Universities do exist; in a garage or a backyard somewhere in England!

  7. You are not on my friend list on Facebook, are you? :D
    Yeah, I (after a friend of mine) did post some pix of cooked food, because I had never before in India.
    Facebook really didn't exist the way it does now, in my college days in India but Orkut did. And with its few privacy protection we did post huge nos. of pictures from those days. And we have re-posted them again on Facebook long after the time's gone.
    I don't know why watching the moon wasn't such a great deal at home, but may be you have missed that update. But I don't condone showing off the name of the place, like 'see, the thing I want to say is "I am here"' But yeah, stupid statuses do irk the hell outta you.
    But trust me, getting a gizmo is a big deal, wherever you are. Don't take it as a big deal just because ppl are in some other country getting it. Buying a car also matters. Not because you can't do a damn thing w/o a car here but because it's your first.
    I know I hate fake updates too, but one should also learn to sift through things.
    As for what happened to the young guys. It's very very sad. And we carry an insurance that will ease the process (univ provided) as it had happened to a senior in our univ too.
    Some people do want to come back, and some people don't but it's wrong to be so general and harsh. I make no secret I don't like where I am. I am counting the days, quite blatantly, when I am going to get back. But I came here for a reason, which is my priority right now. And it wasn't to say "Oh la la, I am in the US".
    And I don't study in Standford and UCLA, but I am in one of the best universities in the world. ;)
    My point: Don't take out your frustration of a few dumbos on the entire group. People like me get hurt. :P

  8. Seems like a Post in disgust and exasperation!
    You have the right to be and rightly so. But B the bottom line these elite “gold hunters” forget is the colour of their skin is brown. And they delude themselves that every other pale skinned has in him/her in varying degrees racist predilections and bias for all that is not pale – they call it White. No amount of wealth and suffixes from Harvard or ULCA will alter that.
    I know a family from my neighbourhood since I was little, who is now migrated one after the other to the USA. They are there now for the past few decades. I happened to meet one of the members in the US. And I enquired when she would possibly be going back home to India, Kerala and into retirement. She contorted her facial muscles and said, “I could not even distantly think of stepping into that muck and garbage any more. I cannot understand how you folks step out there, how you live there amongst all that dirt”.
    I sense,there is absolutely nothing jingoistic in being fascinated with ones country amidst all the contradictions and there is nothing unpatriotic in comments as from that lady. But it is the sense of being in your home, than be an expensive tenant or a wealthy paying guest elsewhere. Do such people have to travel across the seas to the US to discern the clean from the dirt?

    Yes , they fake, they are fake!

  9. Rofl on the breakfast thing .I have one elderly NRI (family friend) on my list in FB who loves thrashing India .He once commented on my pictures 'stop projecting India as beautiful as Europe and USA'.I am glad FB has 'hide updates' option .

  10. sometimes, ignorance is such a bliss! I know so many show offs here fact I am one too! Like I keep flaunting my new possessions - latest one being chalisson watch..will tell you all about it when you meet me online :P

    there are weirdos in all the can't help it..I see so many people showing off dumb things, but thik hai, they are showing it off in front of their friends only..facebook is a bad addiction I tell you!

  11. What do u sat , I have written enough on that already.

    Its the same I am not going to write much as it will be very controversial :)

    The craze to come and do some nasty things .. s my last article said Fake marriages, fake everything IS a RIPE BUSINESS here ..


  12. Absolutrely,there are equal opputunities in India too.
    I do know of parents who confess that their only wish was that their child should settle down in Amreeka.

  13. He he.. the breakfast reminds me of one incident.. when I was home on a vacation.. I had flaunted the list of all the traditional cuisines I was gobling up in fb.. 10 minutes post my post.. another lady spoke about what all and what not she was having at Mc D... given a choice I would always envy the one's having home cooked food rather than the one's at eat outs.. but yeah.. these show off things jz keep happening.. I sort of ignore it these days :D

  14. very true and of course, this pic thing on FB is becoming so idiotic. Sometimes, people spend more time in taking the correct pictures instead of spending good time. And, yes the cribs that NRIs have gets my goat. I lived for a couple of years in the US too but come on all these expectations of being treated as special on their visits to India or cribbing about everything from food to heat to traffic is pathetic.

  15. I'm born and living in India. I think I'm in one of the heaven like places on earth..

  16. Abhinav,

    It does get irritating at times. Even though its their space; you seem to have no respite.


    Yes, they are excited when they leave for studies OUTSIDE india. Its not all roses. They know it and yet fool! 99% of them go not to study but they use it as a visa to enter foreign countries esp USA where you get to apply for work. Easier to get a H1B that way.


    Yes, they are not happy there but they cant let the cat out of the bag and so they fake.


    :-) The other side is NOT GREEN, yet people make a fool out of all


    Nah not really. Its funny to see all those facebook updates. All my friends did their Masters in US and are working there; except for me. But they are all grounded. I know a lot of people who are so simple. But there are vast amount of people who brag for nothing


    Balan, you should get yourself a facebook account; you will know why I wrote this. There are people who by hook or by crook want to go to US. I am specifically mentioning US because they seemed to interested only in that country.

    If they show that same level of diligence and hard work here; they can sure taste success in their own country. But the problem is somehow somewhere someone has fed in the idea that achieving abroad is a massive success. Sad.


    You are not on my friend list. I dont know why this post must hurt you if you arent one among them. All my friends did their Masters in the best universities around in the States. They are working in top organizations as well. Few of them mailed me and wondered what made me write this. they sure knew I was not taking a dig at them. Why are you taking it personal?

    So chill lady.


    :-) Yes!! been seeing all those updates. It irks me. You hit the nail! Yeah I think the same. If you can put in such effort and diligence elsewhere, why not here? Forget that, why fake? Why at all fake?

    Its written on your face the struggle you are going through and yet you show everything is blissful?


    :-) I am not making it up, the breakfast thing has happened. Ohhwooo! Thats not done. People who marvel at Alaska have not seen the Himalayas :) Simple!


    Thats ok Neha, you can make out the genuine ones. My point is, you crib while you are here, everything is crumbling here..a good titan raga is a crap here...But you go there, buy a Fossil lets say and you go ga-ga! I dont get that concept.



    Chowla sir,

    Its sad. But there is a reverse brain drain now. People are now finding the grass is greener here :)




    I am glad you agree with me. I have seen really happy people who migrated long time ago and have no air around them. I have also seen fresh-off-boats who treat other visitors as shit. They have that invisible halo around them!


    :-) Good.

  17. it is like an explosion with what all the novel experiences of a new city, new culture.
    some of them are truly happy and happier to flaunt it. god knows I am one. others merely want to be noticed to the point they only drive everyone away.
    I secretly think perhaps the mind in foreign lands is jinxed. :)

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  19. Hi B,

    I completely agree. I do respect their enthusiasm, but everything has a limit and few people over do things ;)

    Nothing can beat sharing pics sitting in your living room with your loved ones and explaining them every bit of what happened , when and how it all happened and spending more than hours in explaining everything that happened.

    Clicking like button is now a compulsory formality.

  20. really even i think like that...but then others may think that I say so becaus eI have no choice..but why people gloat about foreign things and country , is beyond me..I like in place to live for me.

  21. Silent Aella,

    Welcome to B Log :)

    Yes it is I dont deny it. But is it this overwhelming factor that makes one show-off what they ate for breakfast, lunch, dinner and what they wore for Memorial day? Some are truly happy and they keep it simple :)

    Thank you


    Your response to my comment is not visible on the comment section for some reason.

    Anyway, I thought you are hurt because you said that people like you get hurt in your earlier comment.

    Its a practice that generalizations are made on the basis of majority. Same here - I am not including everyone here. I thought it was not necessary for me to mention that point explicitly. There are exceptions everywhere. Why I mentioned about my friends being in best universities? Because you mentioned you were studying in one of the best univs. I just wanted to let know that I know the feeling of what it is to study in top univs and working for top orgs. Its a great achievement I dont deny that. They understood that I was not taking a dig at everyone but at those who unfortunately form a majority.

    Just wanted to tell that generalizations made dont hold good for all :)


    :-) True lady


    Yes, we may be mistaken for being jealous. But there are few who are genuinely happy. I do know few people. But I know lot more people who fake! It turns ugly when you know the truth

  22. So agree with you on this. Once they land into foreign lands, there's a barrage of pics of all kinds on Facebook. The last para - hard hitting but so true.

  23. ajay,

    Thanks, yeah you would know how it is :)

  24. I "like" this post a thousand times!

    I have this friend who keeps cribbing about wet bathrooms in India. Grrr... how difficult it is to stand such show off creatures!

  25. Shalini,

    :-) Haaa....this was not liked by few people :)

    Yes, its absurd and we dont understand how they forget they spent all their life here

  26. phatichar,

    What does '. . . . .' mean? :-)

  27. said your friends died? just to prove all is not well there? people die here too. accidents happen.

    and have you considered people could actually be happy there?

    highly biased post tch tch :P

    going green!...taken the wrong way ;)

  28. Stupido,

    You are here!! :-) Glad.

    Ok, maybe I cut short my post. I didnt say my friends died to prove all is not well there. That incident prompted me to write this post, thats that.

    In what circumstances they died, their parents condition are not all shared here. so please dont conclude.

    I think I have responded to your question few comments above. Who said people are not happy there? I am not talking about them sir. I am talking about those people who fake who unfortunately are majority. Sigh, what to do! Generalizations are based on majority right?

    Biased? Umm..this post is only about those who flaunt when things are not right. Thats that.


I'd love to know what you thought :-) Please shoot!