Friday, May 27, 2011

Twinkle in your Wrinkle

OK so you are the grand old man who has seen life. You put in a lot of effort throughout. You were the 6-7-8th child of your parents-walked miles to attend school-were brought up in a remote village with no basic amenities-studied under street lamps-pedaled further more miles to attend college-struggled to get 3 square meals a day-worked very had to get a job.

It took your 10 years of diligent savings to buy a 165 liter fridge; you saved like a sparrow and bought a scooter with your lifetime savings, each day was a struggle to make your ends meet. You made sure your kids got a good education and life so that they dont have to struggle the way you did and they could fulfill their dreams.

You have seen so much in life and gone through hell a lot of pain which taught you life's important lessons. It taught you to be sober and wiser. It taught you to be judgmental and patient. You have met a lot of people through your life's journeys; learnt a lot; been hurt a lot. You lost everything but mended up again; picked up pieces. The grays on your whatever left hair, those wrinkles on your lovely face, the so obvious paunch weave tales of your struggle, diligence and hard work and loads of experience gained.


It would be wiser and gracious to use that experience to help the younger generation, no? You would be a man of great stature if you graciously acknowledge their achievements and encourage them further, no? More often than not; the older lots compare their struggle and point out how easy life for kids are nowadays. You have technology at your disposal, you have swanky vehicles, gizmos and gadgets.....yes, agreed boss. But is this our mistake? It would seem foolish to walk that 5 miles to office just because you guys did so.

"We struggled for jobs and these kids nowadays start with a 5 figure paycheck" - I have heard these umpteen times. Dear old grandpa and grandma, you heard of inflation? Oh forget that slimy inflation worm. Do you have an idea of the pressure we undergo? The competition? The rat race?

Nah, according to you, everything comes easy for us - we are invited to take up jobs, we are invited for a pay rise, for promotion, we are gifted cars...We dont work hard, we dont realize the value of money, no? You are confused between 'attitude' and 'confidence'. A girl after hard day at work asking for some breathing space in a crowded bus is arrogant. Why? Just because she said the gray haired man "Sir, please go inside. We dont have sufficient space for ourselves" It was her decent way of saying "Stop rubbing against me". But you start abusing her, commenting about her character and how easy its for kids to just join a call center and get paid handsomely.

Now dont take me wrong. This incident actually happened. I dont say all are narrow-minded sticking to their old values and beliefs. There are so many men and women out there who have graciously made way for the younger folks, nurturing them with their experiences and appreciating them on their achievements. But when they fail to move out of their era, things get uncomfortable and worse - hostile.

Experience is there to share and guide, not to criticize and complain, no? Let there be a twinkle in your wrinkle :-) 


  1. I cannot agree more!
    I have heard similar stories of 'walking uphill to school' umpteen number of times!
    Very interestingly written!

  2. Sometimes these oldies are bothersome; however, like you told there are old-guys who encourage their youngsters too.

    Not only oldies but middle-aged men too do the rubbing-against-women thing in the buses. I find it very disgusting.

  3. Even I cant agree more !! Very much relevant and very well said !

  4. Yeah it keeps happening.. and no matter what you say they keep doing it :-| .. as always nice post :)

  5. I guess it was Oscar Wilde who said, “Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes”.
    B, I feel that the life one has been through, call it the experience and also the knowledge one has known will have to make a person humble and bestowed with far more humility than when he began his journey. Don’t you think so? And when one has humility I do not see how one cannot be of help.

    But isn’t it also true that in certain other ways the present generation surveys far more opportunities in life than the ones from , say my generation who are into their fifties. Yes, cribbing about facilities that young ones enjoy now and comparing it with the long walks and the single pair of footwear one had to use for long is quite mean and silly.

    But I fell quite frightened about the prospects of the “rat race” you mentioned. And more frightened about the children who are just entering the threshold of life like my kids!

  6. Nice Post! :)

    Agree with your every word.

    It happened to me quite some time before that one of my father's uncle came to know about my father buying me an expensive(not exactly, acc to him) mobile. And he was like "These days all you people want is smart, good-looking and expensive things."
    And I was like :-\
    I've been waiting to buy that mobile and have been using it for four years now and its dear to me(for certain reasons). I see my friends switching mobiles after every six months or a year. They speak even without knowing and thinking the reason or anything. That just pisses me off! X(

  7. B, While agreeing with you on all points - there is something called an inherent value for things - and people too. As one from the generation now into its 50s and having a son about to be into his 20s - and from general observation - one thing I see amiss in the younger generation is the lack of value they attach to things and relationships. Take romance, for instance. Or the way one cherishes one's possessions acquired with hard-earned money. For eg., I had to save money for years to buy my first camera, a Pentax K1000. I still have it, with the sharpest 50mm lens. I still use the mobile phone I bought 6 years ago, a Nokia 6020, whereas K, my son, is into his 4th or 5 th mobile now. My Nokia 6020 is still perfect, never ever taken to servicing, the battery still holds out for long. That, B, is because I have taken good care of it. How much do the younger generation - CARE? Not a phone, not a car - but friends? relatives?

    I take care of my N6020 not because I bought it by my hard earned money, but because I love it. You know something? I still have my Bajaj 150 scooter, circa 1977. I care, B.

    There might be exceptions, but generally I miss tenderness in the younger generation...

  8. Very well said!!
    There is sea change in the culture, environment, technology... then and now. So, everything is bound be so very different. Old has to give way to the new, definitely!

  9. Yes things have changed and not jsut for old ones, I mean when you or me started a job since them also things have changed a lot .. I dont know about anyone But when i started The idea was .. to buy my own Enfield Bike.. It slowly changed to a MAruti 800.

    Obviously since i have come to uk it has gone higher and higher.. ANd I have seen my cousins who have come a few years ago, they already are alooking for houses of there Own..

    So YEah i agree experience counts for a lot and maybe the oldies should help us a lott rather then crib .. I mean the first job I had in uk the salary was more than what my dad retired on and I could see the joy when I faxed him the job offer casuse he called me straightaways and offcoure along with that came a LONG LONG LONGgggggggggg lecture :)


  10. Hey Insignia,

    What is up? Who bothered you so much?

    I cannot say I agree with you because I do not.

    I admit and agree that older generation struggled more. Your struggle is of different kind.

    I give you an example:- A family may be consider poor if they only have 32 inch TV with an old car and living in 2000 Sq air conditioned home. But you know and I know who is real poor..some people just get one meal.

    It is matter of perspective. We did not see their lives but life is becoming easier now and we have more and more opportunity to enjoy. Older generation did not enjoy that much.

    Also keep in mind, the luxury we enjoy is due to hard work of older generation.

    Having said, it does not give right to older generation to complain and criticize. But IT IS THE AGE, LACK OF GOAL, INTERNAL FIGHTS WITH children in general neglect by society makes older people BITTER. I personally think it is best for us to be nice with them regardless if they are are bitter...because we can be nice at this age.....

    All I said is my opinion..Sorry if sound like an old preach but you know I do not lie in comments.

  11. Shalini,

    :-) Stories that should motivate us tend to wary us isnt it?


    Yes, there are few people who guide and encourage the youth. Thats welcoming


    Thank you :)


    Yup, they dont have any bad intentions, but they dont realize that it hurts.


    I agree with you Anil. Thats why I said it really helps when the experience is used to teach and make lives better than use it as a tool to criticize.

    I also agree with you on the younger not realizing the opportunities present to them. I have not touched upon that topic, so dont mistake me. Everything comes easy compared to what you people had but at the same time, the competition, the dog-eat-dog world is scary Anil.

    No one would help a fellow individual improve if he has a bad appraisal at work...they would be only happy now that one is down! Dont worry about the kids. They would handle it well :)


    Thanks girl. Maybe he thought having a mobile phone itself is a luxury :)
    I got my phone with my first salary; until then no phone. No I am not that old....but my mom did not buy cell phone for me while in college.

    But yet, it was manageable without phone then, now it is mandatory to be reachable by your parents.


    I agree with you Balan. There again, there are exceptions everywhere isnt it? As I mentioned to you over chat, I still preserve my clothes that I wore when I was 2-3 years old. I have my marks card from pre-KG time, my class notes, my first phone.....

    Youngsters now - they think its cool to denounce anything easily - relationships or things. Its not a good trend, people at disposal, relationships at disposal....they have it all. With things like rent-a-friend and rent-a-girlfriend, what else could we expect?

    I didnt touch upon younger generation in this post. So yeah dont mistake me. I am not biased. This was only to talk about the older generation. "I struggled, so you ought to struggle as me" - in what way is this sensible?


    Your son would be proud of you :)


    Yeah, they always think we are kids. Its love and concern but at the same time they need to realize, we will be able to handle it. If we fail, it will teach us and be careful next time. Not many have that large heart.


    What happened to you? :-)

    When did I say they didnt struggle much? Look at my first 3 paragraphs.. I am acknowledging the very fact that they struggled, they worked hard and it was tough for them as they didnt have too many chances.

    But demeaning younger lots; constantly pointing out your life is easy is silly. You didnt have a cell phone then, its there They had a different struggle, younger lots have a different struggle. They are experienced; so it would be great on their part to educate and guide the younger lots than criticize. This is my point.

    Agree - its a matter a perspective. We did not see their lives, they do not live our lives in present world which is becoming tougher and competitive as each day passes.

    Amrit, agreed, the luxury we enjoy is due to their hard work. So does it mean to say I cycled 10 miles to college, so even you cycle?

    Maybe the age, lack of support, fights make them bitter and thus the behavior which makes the younger lots bitter. :-)

    Before I conclude, they have seen the world and gone through a lot in life than younger lots; wouldnt it be nice to share that and guide than crib?

    There are exceptions, if I need to say that explicitly.

    Thanks so much for your honest opinion, I so appreciate that.

  12. Changes are happening too rapidly which makes it hard for the older generation to cope up with . Things could be better if they are less judgemental and more understanding.

  13. Even I have heard this so often BUT I can say with auhtority that I have always been friends with the younger generation and that is the only reality.
    I did reasonably well for myself professionally, but I do realise that the pressures these days are much greater than what we eevr faced.
    I think boys and girls of this generation are doing a very good job, they are motivated, they are serious, they realise the value of money and finally--They havent lost the VALUES OF LIFE.

  14. true, but sometimes youngsters are really very.know all type also...they think that elders know nothing and they have everything better than them..then it irritates the elders also...

  15. every generation has its advantages and disadvantages.
    what you said is common you start with 5 figure etc

  16. kavita,

    Yes kavita. Changes are dramatic and drastic. It would take time to cope up for sure but yeah as you said, if they are broad minded and stop being judgmental, it would be great.

    Chowla sir,

    You are one among the understanding person. I wouldnt say its tough to find people like you. What I am saying is there are people who still embrace their times and fail to realize the present scenario.

    These days, its pressure, dishonesty, takes a toll.

    Folks of this generation are dead practical. though its cold on the emotional front, sometimes it seems what they do is sort of right! But if you ask me, I am an old school on that front.


    I agree Renu.


    thank you.

  17. you said it all here..and I can bet on this too - if you make a typical elderly person read this post, he will again abuse you for writing it and not understanding how difficult their life was and how easy yours is!

  18. I agree. Though it is right and just to expect respect for the hardship that elders have gone through, thinking that we have it easy is not right. Also, this stuck-up attitude of suffering and thinking that you have it easy just because you have an AC at home or perhaps a car to commute is ridiculous. With wisdom and experience comes a tolerance and an understanding of what teenage or youth is like. If you have not mellowed and matured with age, don't expect the youngsters to be so.

  19. B,

    Though I agree every bit of what you said, I don't feel sorry for those who blame this generation.

    how many of us try to explain things to the older generation.The struggle what we actually face now is extremely hard.But do we sit and explain this to them. I/We,this younger generation lack the most important thing -Patience .

    I'm sure,no one helps the individual now.Everyone is busy with their own job and appraisals, family.When get a chance put the other person down and climb the ladder.No one cares.Everyone is selfish and I don't blame them because thats how it is.If we tend to be emotional ,we loose.We don't value people much, its all about materialistic things now.

    On the other hand, the older gen also lack many things. Very few people tend to understand and appreciate the struggle what we face in our day to day life.

  20. Neha,

    Its happening :)


    Put in well. Do I need to add more?


    Each one is busy in his own race against another...and many a times it is "do they really understand?" yet have we tried?

    Maybe few of us did and fortunate enough to sort things right. Let me give few more after-comments of that incident I mentioned. The girl was accused of being a rebel and that she didnt know how to respect elders. She was made to look like a culprit when the old man was the culprit in fact. See....this is what I am talking about.

  21. Hi Insignia,

    I found this post thought provoking and interesting. Personally, I don't see anything wrong when an older person narrates the ups and downs he/she has traversed even if it may not interest or inspire me. I would consider myself insensitive if I began to be indifferent to the said person's thoughts or reflections. I respect your thoughts on this as much as I'd respect the said person for sharing what he has gone through.

    The fact that life has been kind and comfortable for many of us makes it difficult to appreciate those who had made it without anything at all when they started out. Why not see it with a compassionate perspective? That's just a suggestion of course.

  22. Swapna,

    Welcome to B Log. First, thank you for your honest opinion.

    We learn a lot from our elders, I dont deny that. But criticizing the efforts of this generation surely is not the right thing isnt it?

    Why do you think life has been kind and comfortable for many of us? We do go through pain and struggle but of a different kind and at a different level. What I wish is that they having seen so much should encourage and guide us better and correct our mistakes than criticize and get over their period.

    Thanks again, I appreciate it.


I'd love to know what you thought :-) Please shoot!