Monday, May 16, 2011

We are better

Note : Its a satire..Yeah I need to explicitly mention it; my earlier experience tells me so.. This is a conversation between me and my alter-ego.

The Americans can have their way. If they can do it, why can't we?

Now what is this blabber about? 

Terrorists.....Osama. He was hunted down and killed even without a trial.

Are you saying it was wrong?

You see, there is nothing like a right or a wrong. What is right for me, could be wrong for you and vice versa.

Are you the alter-ego or me?What is your concern?

The Indian government has listed 50 most wanted terrorists and all are based out of Pakistan. The media is asking why cannot we do a America-like operation to eliminate Dawood.

We cant. They could do because they are Americans; with billions of dollars of aid being given to Pakistan. They can afford to do it! They gave a new lease of life to the Afghans by driving out the Russians. They have been aiding Pakistan against the war on terror. So they can break the sovereignty of a country; raid a town and kill a terror mastermind. We cant....Period.


Dont sulk. We Indians have done much better things to worry about not being able to mimic an American way.


Like....winning the Cricket World Cup!


OK! Like sacrificing Mallika Sherawat to Hollywood. 

Eeewwww we are better off than having her here!

Oh ok! Like inventing the ZERO! 

Oh! Ohhh!!!

Nah its not Oh! Ohhh!! Its 0 as in 2-O-O-O in Two thousand.

I am still not convinced.

Why dont you accept that we have given the world far better stuffs to lead a good standard of living?

Give me one good point to agree.



Yeah Ass-jet. We have a simpler and cleaner way to wash than wiping off our asses with papers! 

Yeah! You are right! Hail the Ass-jet!



  1. I think we should not ape the Americans in everything. As pointed out they have better resources and better control over the affairs. They don't have the tendency to botch up and look like a fool, when things fail. Of course they failed in most of their operations, but still are able to hoodwink people into thinking that they did everything with the larger picture in mind. They have tricked their own people into believing the worst to be the best.
    Even to win a match against Pakistan we need extra ordinary skills which are players always seem to lack in the last minute.
    Yes the health faucet is indeed a discovery that needs a medal.

  2. Americans being a superpower with loads of money to throw around can get away with almost anything when it comes to Pakistan. India, well we have to live here and they don't depend on our aid, so they are blatant about letting our criminals live in broad daylight.

    I like your terminology -- ass jet:). It is indeed a very handy and hygienic tool!

  3. dont agree with it, that we shud not do anything ..
    there comes a time when the life of a citizen is more important then anything and it came in the history of INDIa a few times now, all we have done is sit and take it .. Kargil, J&K, Mumbai attacks, the temple attacks, Parliament house attacks.. Enough is enough..

    America did what It had to do , to put some sort of closure to the 9/11..

    I will always support India to get those who dont have whatsoever respect for a Indian , a Innocent india.. Maybe just maybe the leaders can show some backbone .. except using the Ass jet .. all the time .. in this case instead of the water its Us Innocent indians...


  4. rama,

    Thanks, yes we cant ape the Americans in everything. They have military and territorial support from others as well. We should instead focus on growth and development. This was a sarcastic way of highlighting the current Osama issue :)


    :-P Thanks. this post was a satirical one. Our media just blah-blahs without thinking strategically. We can tackle the issue of terrorism in a better way than a eye for a eye.


    First, this is a satire. Please dont take anything seriously.

    I hope you got my satire.

    Now coming to your statement - "America did what It had to do , to put some sort of closure to the 9/11."

    Do you think killing Osama has closed the issues of 9/11?

    He is dead but not his ideology; lets keep that in mind.

    There is a way to tackle the terror outfits; not the way the media has been mentioning; go, hit and take away sort! Its possible by US and its allies alone.

    Again, this is a satirical post.

  5. Yes it is a sarcastic dig at the Osama issue, and I have understood it in the way you wanted us to understand.
    I think we are both same in this particular issue, many times i also write things with pure humour in my mind but people tend to understand it differently, and I also insist like you have done that it is only a funny way of narrating certain incidents in my life.

  6. Yes it's really true that pakistan cannot say a single thing to America for invading their country and killing Osama , if only India would have done that not only Pakistan but the entire world would have pointed out the fingers at us, it's all power and money :(.

  7. well written as u said do not take it seriously i do not comment much.
    But Currently India has no political will and Pakistan may have become a beggar nation But Pakistan has kept its army as good as India.
    They got more nukes than India.

  8. Super post as always Insignia. We are also proud of our world class scams. We are better than USA. The one that is being considered for Guinness Book of World Record is the 2G Spectrum Scam. The Value: Rs.1,76,000 crores. You talked about zeros. I don’t even know how many zeros are there in this amount.

  9. I think India is pretty capable of this kind of operations. And it is possible India is involved and active in clandestine operations in Pakistan. But of course India cannot make it public knowledge.

    Keep in mind, Bangla Desh is a creation of India...Split of Pakistan was required for security of the country and India did what India thought was right. Of course, can you make any Indian PM to agree on it...NO...India was just helping refugees

  10. Say what? Can we give an alternate list? Like, we could say, OK, forget the 20 wanted list we gave, here is a new one : Smt Sharada Menon Pawari, Sri Chidambarathanu Iyengar, Smt Mayakumari, Sri Suresh Kumar Kallamadi, Sri Sri Narendra Kumar Gujarati,Sri Modi Kriketwallah, Sri Manomohana Kumarasingham - just a sample - Fix these guys and we will forget all about the Chotta Shakeels and Bada BhaiS!

  11. tera jawab nahin...
    I liked the one on " "jet....

  12. A different writing style bindu i liked it...will copy u in the coming posts :P

    Now will exploit your blog to voice my opinion :P

    If i keep aside the fact that it is a satire; I feel that we can surely catch those 50 most wanted men. We are the world's largest buyers of arms and ammunitions (if i am not wrong)and also have a good intelligence team. We have the power to catch them. Why are we behaving like fattus?

  13. Who cares a hoot for the ilks of bin Laden being denied recourse to legal system, something his philosophy denied to the many they blasted out of existence.Perhaps someone must do the same to the guy Bush who is enjoying retirement.
    Mallika Sherawat- a loss indeed!

    Doing a USA in Pakistan? hmm with the nuclear arsenals they have ?Certainly that will not be funny.

    The 'arse washing tool" , ha that is a good idea. Remember the Whites were walking on their fours with bodies painted blue , while we had a thriving civilsation here.

    So a bit of jingoism and chest thumping can be appreciated.
    Perhaps it is also wise to propose trading the Chidambarams, the Narendra Modis, the Kunnjali kutties and the Kalmadis for the Dawoods, the Omars,the Mehsuds and their clan.

  14. We have all the power to nab them. But we are reluctant to exercise it. As in majority of the other serious issues concerning up.

  15. Oh...No. We are peace loving people.And we have Panchasheels,which only has the value of a 'Cheela'( Loin cloth) these days.
    And then,who said we cant do a thing?.We are sending rockets to moon ! But couldnt get Pakistanis out of Kargil,without sacrificing our own forces.For us,an attack on the parliament is just nothing.We are people who forgive Rajas and Kalmadis.

    Sit tight.They might sell the whole nation for a lesser amount!

  16. rama,

    That note was in general :) I have noticed that whenever I attempt a sarcastic post; its not taken in that way. Maybe I am missing something somewhere or the subject is too serious to be even spoken in humor. So thats why that NOTE :)

    Yeah it happens, sometimes maybe sarcasm is one level beyond humor and people need to keep their minds awake to grasp it :)


    Yeah its not that easy to just go, kill and come back!


    Lot of issues underneath. It cant be solved in a way we all wish to


    Thanks. SG, our democracy is in shambles. In the name of democracy, politicians are looting our country. But no one is a saint here. America has its own evil ways as well isnt it? They can fool their own people by making them believe something thats terribly wrong is right. Eg. Iraq invasion


    Yes India is capable..I wouldnt disagree. But can it? Can it easily just do the way US did?
    When India did a Pokharan, Us and its allies raised sanctions against India. What if it raids another country which is ridiculously an ally of US against terrorism?

    Pak has nukes only for India; what would happen? A war!! Would we need that?
    India did a Bangladesh; yes that was early 1970s. It was much later that US found a friend in Pak.


    Errr....why are you bent upon making their life miserable? :-P




    Thanks much lady! My pleasure :)
    G3, I agree with you. We are capable of surely nabbing them all. I dont doubt India's capability. But can we? Is it possible to do a America?


    :-) Bold comment. I liked it. Trading these folks for them? Aawww I cant choose which of them are worse.


    Yes, I dont deny it all. But can we is the question


    Well said. We are highly resilient people. Nothing can budge us!
    Oh are we getting sold? Where to? Tumbuktu!!

  17. Hail the Ass-jet! :D

    That was one funny satire. I too have such conversations frequently. Guess, I should blog it too.

  18. Loz !And they don't have a single Female President to boost about .

  19. sorry about that.. I guess i am not clever to understaand satires ..

    killing osama has not killed the ideology, I did not say that .. what I wanted ot say is that Killing was the need, It was required especially to the americans. It was a closure for that.. Just purely on that. The atrocity Osama planned to kill innocent people..

    and I dont beleive that , the indian army can do it IF the leaders of our nation support it , the problem is we dont have the guts to do it ..
    I mean in the two wars 75 we were within reach of lahore what did we do .. MArch back..

    Kargil happend we were ready to get our soldiers killed , More men from India died in that too then the actually terrorists .. yet we claim we won ...

    And as Dr. antony said soon we will be sold off , and one day we will wake up to find we are owned by none other then Pakistan maybe ..

    Sorry i took your post on a tangent .. my bad :)


  20. Nethra,

    Haha :-D

    Thank you...yeah you should post them :)




    Yup! :-) No one talks about that!


    :-) Thats ok Bik. Maybe I am not good enough to write a satire.

    Yes, they wanted to finish him and they did. But we cant employ the same strategy is what I am saying. doesn't mean we arent means we cannot.

    Now you get what I am saying. There is so much more than just marching and capturing a city. We cant!

  21. hail the ass-jet! paper burns your ass! we are so brilliant that last thing we want is fire in our ass!

    but but my dear friend, what i dont understand is that why people are taking it all seriously? I think you should mention the meaning of satire - in hindi as well as in few other languages! our country is full of asses which are not on fire!

  22. ass jet!!! yeah Hail the ass jet :P
    ROFL loved the term... I am not able to get over it :P
    why I never have such intellectual convo with myself :S

  23. Neha,

    Lol! We anyway have fire on our ass every now and then :-D

    I dont know :-S maybe my so called satire is not a satire? :-/


    :-P Thank you. Hahaha


  24. Hilarious! Ha ha ha...
    Nice way of writing the blog, ego and alter ego. nice stuff.

  25. dishita,

    I like your name :)

    Thanks for visiting. :) Glad you liked the term :-p

  26. haha, that thing was invented here? thanks for raising my gk, if true hehe.

  27. Stupidosaur,

    :-) Haha. Yeah surprising


I'd love to know what you thought :-) Please shoot!