Monday, October 10, 2011


plural of child (Noun)

  1. A young human being below the age of full physical development or below the legal age of majority
I want to make sure I got the right definition of 'children' so that I could justify my frequent "mouth wide open in shock" reaction during my recent picnic.

Well, yeah its only the physical development that decides if a human being is a child or an adult. So if thats not taken into account; is it alright for them to curse, smirk, give that sensuous look like adults? :-/

People, this is an honest question. I get intimidated with kids around - for the way and the topic they discuss. 5 kids aged between 12-17 accompanied by their respective dads. Bandipur tiger reserve on a jungle safari - the kids were talking non stop. Guess what it was about? Brands - Nike, Puma, Reebok....each one had high end cameras with them. Another girl was incessantly yapping off about her trip to Singapore and how the safari here is so mediocre.

Their disappointed verbal expression of not spotting a tiger was the final nail in the coffin. I and Velu exchanged looks. What got us uncomfortable was this "Daddy, this is not done. I did not expect this. Lets go somewhere else. WTF!" Another one joined "Yeah! WTF!!" Others joined in chorus. All these among others also in the bus. The dads were indifferent; surprisingly. One of them gave a stern look; one kid was smart enough to catch that and exclaimed "WTF - World Taekwondo Federation". Our wide gaped mouths just shut!!

Now why am I mentioning all these is because I got reminded of my childhood. I was in 1st grade. I stole a pencil from school and got it home. My mom was so furious with me that she heated a knife and placed the red hot stuff on my hand. The mark still exists and each time I see it; I recall that day. Yeah that was harsh but that was the last day I stole.

Few years later; I should be 11 years old or so; a neighbor kid had a fight with me and she uttered an expletive. I didnt even utter it but just said "You too". My mom was a strict disciplinarian. She overheard it and on that occasion I was punished so hard that I never used expletive there after.

Again around that time; we had to attend a cousin's wedding. The groom's friends presented them with a packet. The bride and groom spent 1 hour unpacking it; as the gift was wrapped in layers of newspapers. Around a kg of gift packet reduced to a small carton box and a Lacto King chocolate. As soon as they discovered what it was; the newly weds threw it on the ground. I picked it up. I was playing with it; even about to attempt to blow the balloon ;-) My mom noticed it and knocked it off my hand. I was protesting when she gave me a stern look and that was all that I needed to keep shut.

We were so innocent then; where has the innocence gone? Its nice to see kids know the world and they are sharp and smart; but really sad to see what all they have lost.

Do we celebrate the gain or feel sorry about the loss? I dont know but I get intimidated with kids around


  1. very well put boss..losing of innocence is in a way opening the gates to trouble too..

  2. I rememebr putting a hot very hot iron on my hand and still have the mark all burnt :)

    kids nowadays are losing that innocesne that i guess we all had when we were growing up ...

    With all this hoopla of the wordl going on this are turning out to be not so good the PS3, the games , and all that ...


  3. True B!

    There was this one kid who travelled with us in the train!

    He was in first standard ..studying in some international school. The way he spoke to my dad, the words he used ..I was completely taken back!!!

    I in turn raised my voice against him.Guess what my dad replied, He said, even your kid might talk in the same manner .Times are changing and kids are smart. :(

    I only thought I will not (should not :O ) raise my kids this way.

    The innocence is gone and the worst is these days we are not supposed to punish the kids. Without hard punishment will the kids learn certain aspects of life . I guess we are blessed as we were punished so hard that we will never repeat certain mistakes in our life time!

  4. I would never blame any kid for such behavior.The fault lies else where-----with the parents.

  5. Being today's parent, I know that physical punishment is a no-no. Beating with a cane or burning with an iron no matter done with how noble an intent is cruel, and I oppose it. Luckily my parents did not do it, and I did not turn out any worse. To expect a teenager not to curse among teenagers will not happen. What I do teach my son is that such language when among elders or parents is not acceptable. If we expect the times to change for women, we need to be more open minded when it comes to children too. I would rather teacher my child something with love in the backdrop of the new environment and exposure than pile archaic methods of child raising on him.

  6. she heated a knife and placed the red hot stuff on my hand"-If this happens today,My God,the parent's life is lost.News for a day.News flash,accusations,debates on children psychology and so

    Its nice to see kids know the world and they are sharp and smart;there lies the gist.Natural that today's kids are exposed to a vibrant world.That's one thing we can't stop.That's one thing we can't protest.Then what and where is the problem ? Many debates have gone in vain.The role of parents,school,teachers,grandparents all been talked about.Then ? nothing happens.Coz'this is a world changing every minute,every second.We need to be supernatural to save their innocence Insi.That's the truth.

    Being the parent that I am,I think it's the most divine and difficult of any tasks.To all those parents who are honestly into life and it's business,I must say each second is valuable.Valuable and precious for our children.They need our care and guidance in each step.And yes we all have to be alert given the fact that we are facing a generation who is far ahead,in almost everything we have gone through.That invites complete attention.We have to be either honest on our own,or be stupid and just be the spectator.

    Regarding the stern looks,you can't even find many of the parents who can give those looks.

    God Bless !

  7. B, I guess it is matter of continuous evolution.
    As some one observed kids these days are braver, smarter and not timid or frightened like most of us where.Perhaps grown ups are worse off in many cases.

    It is also the parents who let the child over indulge. Some are fascinated by boorishness. And the child grows to be a real boorish bore.
    I wonder if we ever could have not picked up hangovers from our little days . Those traits lie in us too even now .don't they?
    We can still be child, childish and like children any which way!

  8. I think children generally want to grow up as soon as possible. Maybe, the children now are getting to see more of what adults really do than ever before. Based on what children think is cool, they probably decide very early in life what they want to be like when they grow up... Like Chowla sir said, the feed back loop is probably what really controls the amplifier called children.

  9. childrten are growing up too fast and they will realise it later on what they lost..because that innocent childhood wont come back, whereas they have increased the years of adulthood only that too without enough knowledge and intelligence to back up.

    todays parents need to teach the same basics your parents taught you but in a different way.

  10. Bindhu,
    All this happens mainly because of good values are not taught by parents. They become so indifferent and do not correct children when it is needed. I don't know what will happen to our future citizens.

  11. I've already written a post about children nowadays losing their innocence. :(

    It's sad to see them this way. Plus, parents are also at fault somewhere.

    There are many things that can be highlighted about how children nowadays are.
    They have girlfriends and boyfriends at their age, using slang words is no big deal for them, they don't know Ramayana and Mahabharata(in case of Indians), and many many things. :-|

  12. Aaj kal ke bache. pata nai kya hoga unka. A friend's daughter who is in 10th standard now was discussing about her bf. Her parents know about it. Her first serious relationship happened when she was in 7th, before that she used to casually flirt. Phew! I feel too old fashioned when I find such things awkward.

    Abusing is too common. Parents abuse in front of kids, thus kids think it's normal. Humara future kya hoga?

  13. Insignia,

    Honestly I don't agree with you for being judgmental about today's kids and on the same time being indirectly critical of yesterday's parents.

    Every kid is different and the taste is different. I have even seen adults being overly critical of several Indian attraction.

  14. Parents' nowadays have lost the art of being parents. When they themselves stay online all day and tweet, how can they understand what their kids are going through in life.

    I don't advocate hitting but scolding sternly is justified. Generation might change we cannot change basic aspects of respecting elders and kids need to know what to speak and what not!


  15. The world is changing and how! Kids today have so much exposure that it would be surprising if they did not know what they do. I guess the parents' role is to monitor how and where their kids make a display of their knowledge! ;)

  16. Ramesh,

    True :)


    Harsh punishments as those are terrible.

    I wonder even we would have grown up this way if we had all those exposure when we were young


    :-) Harsh punishments - I still dont approve of them. But it worked for me I must say

    Chowla sir,

    Rightly said sir.


    Its with open mind and lots of love that kids must be raised. The parents must strike a fine balance and thats pretty tough


    Its shocking to see kids today. Not in a wrong sense but thinking about how we were then at their age - they truly have come of age. That was the point I was trying to put.

    A stern look kept me in my terms; but nowadays I have observed its the kids that give stern looks to their parents. Times have changed


    True Anil; I dont know; it scares me.


    Feed back loop, amplifier? Uuummmppphhh!!!


    I liked the way you put - increased years of adulthood. So true


    I have the same fear chitra.


    They are evolving; but at a very faster rate than their parents can handle; perhaps.


    :-) Nice parents; good they are able to take in a normal way. In my home; being so conservative; my mom would have jumped from sky to ground.


    Haha, so be it. I dont agree when you say I was being critical of yesterday;s parents. And you probably missed me being judgmental of yesterday's me.

    I am not talking about every kid here; I am talking about kids with exposure; they do form a creamy layer Amrit. you should probably stay for few days in India to observe the change.


    Beating is no-no anytime AB. When we were kids; it was normal. Now; none of us hear about it and thats a great sign.

    Destiny's child,

    Haha ;-) True. It was embarrassing for all the others in the bus that day :)

  17. May be...its only in the big cities...where the children are exposed much in their younger age...I think...apart from the innocence...there is also this thing about tolerance level...Used to good things..and a high life style...our tolerance for other mediocre things have diminished. We get disappointed easily when our expectations don't meet...with parents..may be..they have struggled and worked hard to be where they are today...and but the teenagers haven't experienced anything yet...

  18. Kunal,

    Maybe; I wouldnt know. But yes; the kids I saw seem to lead a good lavish lifestyle :)

  19. In every generation some kids misbehave and some don't. Responsibility lies with parents. If you want to blame someone, blame their parents - not the kids.

    Kids reflect the learned behavior at home, behavior shown by elders, and learn at school. They learned expletive from adults....

  20. A,

    These are my observations; as Chowla sir and Balan mentioned; its upto the parents.

  21. @A You can't pile all the blame on parents. Have you seen the movies or stuff on internet or the language used by peers? It is unfair to say that kids pick up expletives from parents. Even my 5-year-old son says kutte kaminey from one ad that airs on TV or the songs that come on FM. What we as parents need to do is tell them that it is wrong to use such language in front of adults or strangers. It is also unrealistic to expect teenagers not to use such language given their age group and the movies they are exposed to. I live in a community where I see a lot of older kids, most of whom are pretty reasonably behaved when it comes to adults. Besides, I feel that once you have kids, you are sensitized towards other kids and parents. I would be extremely irritable if a kid would cry during a flight or a train journey earlier but not any more. I give a sympathetic smile and maybe offer tips :). So, let us not get all judgmental here. There are some good and bad repercussions of any change including "loss of innocence."

  22. Red hot knife does make me shiver but I get ur mother's intentions. I had been a very troublesome kid and I have been whacked with sticks, brooms and dont ask wht else...oh yes I remember the chapathi roller which broke bcoz she hit me so hard. When I look back I dont blame my mother, she had only tht much knowledge and I was no model kid. And I knew she LOVED me.
    My kids in contrast have an easy life but tht doesnt mean they dont get whacked. If they really try my patience they get a one good whack on their hand with a stick kept aside for the purpose and I refuse to feel guilty about it.
    The only thing I make sure is tht I'm totally controlled[not too angry] when I do it coz angry makes one blind and its very easy to lose control.

    But at the end of the day I know physical abuse does not really teach anything.
    Communication is the key...always be there to listen to ur child. And LOVE.....ur child shd in no way be in doubt about ur committment and love for her. This I think solves 80% of the problems.

    "I dont know but I get intimidated with kids around"
    There is no need really, kids nowadays show off a lot and put on accents and mannerisms and thk using bad words is hep. Inside they are still kids, with normal fears & desires. Comes to think of it its us who've grown and forgotten how it was to be a kid/teenager. Atleast thts how I see it:-)).

  23. Reflections,

    Yeah I have many such incidents too. But you know, a sharp tongue is worse than a cane. Whatsoever; any form of abuse is a big NO

    Yeah, I agree with you. I am a kid still. But its the absence of kiddish-ness in kids that I get intimidated about

  24. I know, what you mean and so very relate to your " wide gaped mouths just shut"!
    WTF... World Taekwondo Federation!! OMG!! Real smart kid!
    I have a 9 yr old, and when I see his friends... and you can bet, there is no dearth of "wide gaping mouth' occasions for me!
    A post on my blog is coming up on this! :)

  25. Shilpa,

    Smart yes. Waiting to read your views.


I'd love to know what you thought :-) Please shoot!