Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Regarding my previous post...

I got few emails and few concerns from well wishers about an incident I mentioned in my post "Children" which I decided to remove. I am putting it back; thanks to Anil for bringing back my senses.

Child abuse - yes that was it. We have given a name to it now. I am not justifying nor supporting the cruel act. But I just want to say that it was kind of 'acceptable' and normal for parents to use the stick to discipline their kids; 20+ years ago. Why? Didnt teachers in school use them as well? Is there anyone who has not been beaten in school or at home for wrong doing? If it was NEVER; I am seriously happy for them to have been in a matured environment.

Now; thanks to our education and exposure; we have realized that is not the right thing to do. But people; my whole idea in that post was to bring out the differences between kids then and now. I wanted to say how we would fear to speak a lie or utter an expletive or even lacking an idea of what a condom was!

Please take it easy :)


  1. I'm simply at loss for words.
    Why the hell did you remove the post?
    B., I guess you went overboard because of your education and culture. Even if the comments that prompted you to do that came from well wishers.But it was succumbing of sorts.. If you mentioned corporal punishment which you faced , why must it be offensive to someone. Calling spade a spade is still frowned upon.
    It was your post , your experience and why must others take umbrage at it? You were comparing attitude towards children then and now. Retribution as you mentioned has been around since long. The other day I read in the daily that a teacher is being prosecuted for hitting a student with a spiked ruler.

    Parental wisdom too have changed. And as you said even though we knew what"condom" was we were hushed up in uttering. Children these days are daring and outspoken. And child abuse be it from the parent or teacher , or be it a stranger in any form is abuse and has to be stopped.

    All said,I feel respect for your decision to remove the Post , but at the same time I feel offended and sad too.

  2. I guess I can't comment. I think I missed that post. :(

  3. Punishment is given to instill discipline. Whether corporal or mental. I have always tried not to punish my son directly; instead I would point out to him the mistake he had done and would ask him whether he deserved a punishment or not; if he said yes, I'd ask him what sort.

    The point of the whole exercise is to make the child remember the deviation that he/she has committed. I would shout at him but hardly abused him physically except for a little slap on his behind - this only when he was a young kid.

    The kind of children you described are everywhere; it is not boldness but lack of discipline and imparting of a code of behaviour. Like shouting at a Safari ride - I would never let my child do that. The problem, as Mr Chawla pointed out is with the indulgent parents; they sometimes brag about how confident their children are.

    The degree of exposure you talk about is comparative; we were bolder and outspoken than our parents and so on. You can teach a child not to lie or utter expletives or behave decently without having to beat him up.

    One could go on writing about this...

  4. I agree with Balachandran's point above. In every generation, there will be a loss of innocence as compared to the previous one. The exposure and change as phenomena will continue. And, parenting is the toughest job on earth :). Personally, inculcating fear is not equivalent to respect in my opinion. And, I remember that in my school days, a very good Maths prof had to apologize or resign when he slapped a girl on her face in the 8th std. I don't think corporal punishment was always acceptable too.

  5. I dont understand that .. I am in total beleif that the way i was brought up was the best way .. The world these days is worse off..

    Sorry to say but the so called DO GOODERS are making this world a worst place.. I have no qualms in accepting that yes i do beleive in that SPARE THE ROD SPOIL THE BOY thing..

    I have been punished and all it has done no harm and I have not seen a single student with me , before me or a couple of years after me turning for the worse because of the punishment by parents or teachers ..

    I tell you this too much do goody thing and I HATE THOSE people. it is the same as a criminal doing wrong and then they come up saying oh but look at the childhood ..
    yeah SO..
    they have done a crime and need to be punished ..

    The recent riots in uk what a pallava that was and look at the people trying to find a reason why the kids went on rampage can you beleive that .. No one is thinking of the officer who was standing and some kids took Pistol shots at them .. the parents of those kids know who they are still nothing ..

    moreover i did not see what you wrote was wrong ..
    parents dont talk to their kids anymore, and the pampering it goes to my nerves and when they do something wrong still nothing is said by those parents ...

  6. it is true there is a lot of difference I feel embarassed sometimes when i am talking to kids the language they use .. HAd i used My dad would have slapped me there and then ..

    I remmeber the word JI to be used, it is for respect and no matter who I had to say JI to everyone rich or poor small or big ..

    and talking of a girl at home OH MY unthinkable... it is true we feared to say a lie or use explitives and these days "F" is the most common word used even a 10 year old used it all the time ..

    You take care and take it easy .. the do gooders will always have something to SAY.. they wont do anything and when it happens in their own house they will blame the others or the system :)

    I still remember the DHAI KILO hand of my dad even when i am thinking of doing something naughty now ...

  7. I read the post on Google Reader :)

  8. whatever your parents did, they did it well, as the proof lies in the pudding, and what today's parents are doing can also be seen with those unruly,rowdy people without any decency in behaviour or language.

    Otherwise also why miss the essence of post and go after the surface only?

  9. Just read that post. Left a comment too. Why in the world did you remove it in the first place? I didn't find anything wrong with it! Your views are your own! :)

  10. kavita,

    Thanks :)


    It was not that I didnt stand by my post. It was because of too much of concerns. It happened 25+ years ago and doesnt matter anymore. But those lines were what seems to have disturbed many.

    Anyway, thanks to you; I put it back


    Its there :)


    Well, I put it back


    You must be a wonderful dad. The point is make the child remember the wrong done; as you said.

    You put it right Balan. It was so embarrassing for people around at the Safari ride. In fact; their dads were embarrassed too. Hell!! no, no one's facial expression meant they were happy about their confidence.


    Thats nice to hear. During my engineering days; as recent as 8 years ago; my college principal slapped a guy who was sitting in a close proximity with a girl. Can you believe that? And yeah it was sort of "acceptable" and so did all professors. Students couldnt do anything about it as we were scared of being affected in our internal marks. I am not supporting it; but we should be aware that such a thing existed and people were ok with it.


    I dont endorse it Bik. But what happened was then and its long long ago. There is nothing we can do by shunning it now.


    :-/ Good


    I would like to believe my parents whatever route they chose; wanted only good for me.

    Destiny's child,

    I was out of mind for few minutes :)

  11. Somebody Gonna get a HURT REAL BAD... Somebody... I am not gonna say who. But somebody.
    (Courtesy: Russell Peters)

  12. I remember when I was young, at PTA meetings when teachers complained abt us to our parents, they used to tell the teacher not to hesitate & give a sound beating if we did something wrong.
    But now I'm so upset even if the teacher scolded my child :-).

  13. I get beatings from my mom and sometimes from dad too if I do something that's wrong, even now. I wouldn't say that I'm getting abused. Teachers always punished us when we did something wrong. It ain't child abuse if you ask me.

    Anyway, I am yet to read your previous post.

  14. if you've not seen the stand up, google "Somebody Gonna get a HURT REAL BAD..."

  15. Reflections,

    :-) Happens isnt it :)


    Yeah thinking of it; sharp words will hurt me more than beatings. But I would still not encourage such punishments.


    Hmm ok :)


I'd love to know what you thought :-) Please shoot!