Phunny English

Its been quite some time since I wrote a thing on English. Here it is now.

We speak English, variety of them, mixing and matching with our own vernaculars...a potpourri of a different language in itself arises. As they say, Hinglish, Tanglish, Kanglish, Punjlish and what not.

The mission is accomplished if the matter to be conveyed is understood; be it in whatever manner or whichever English. True, that's why we are able to dominate the services sector and India is a melting pot of different languages and still we could communicate.

I have already put my views about pronunciation and orthography in the post - Ingilees or English?

There's one more dimension to manipulating the language by us. Its the speaking error; like the typing error.

Sample this - I sawed it

Oh no!! I was shocked to hear this statement from my junior engineer at work. "Saw" is by itself a past tense, you want to past past tense it again???

Instead, let me get sawed; will be saved from hearing such language!!

There's another common speaking mistake I have come across.

"There are lot of peoples" .....PEOPLES???? Plural'ing a plural?
"I have 2 childrens".......Poor children, imagine their plight!

A computer instructor once said See in the computer - his literal translation for "Computer mein dekho"

And here - Rain is coming - From where baby?
I once corrected a friend of mine; that the more appropriate way was to say "It is raining"
Guess what? Phutt! came the response. So then it is It is bussing instead of "Bus is coming"

I learnt my lesson not to correct anyone henceforth.

Then there's this He didn't told me........what??.....that you are killing him by your language????

Another most ignored blunder is when a pronoun is replaced by an adjective while referring to a third person

"Let she come" is what most people say. The meaning is of course conveyed but the usage absolutely wrong.

One more unavoidable kind is the influence of vernacular. I had this computer instructor who was from Bengal. He was once talking about usage of computers and he said Automated Tailor Macin

That was the ABC of computers we were learning and we all thought he was obviously referring to sewing machine; but when he wrote the spelling on the board; it was "Automated Teller Machine"

:-S

Awww...how could I forget people ending up replacing a simple word with a complex one just to show off that they use sophisticated words. "Revert" is used in synonymous to "reply". How very wrong!!!

"Revert" means "to go back to original". How can it be used instead of "reply"

I will revert to you later....... which means Sometimes later, I will become YOU....instead of plain and simple "I will get back to you later".

Jargon yes...but all wrong.

And extension of it is "revert back". I cant understand using "revert back to you" in any plausible manner!!

The cake here - Revert back to me with information
It would literally mean that I am asking you to get that information and become ME and back!!
(Maybe you can become ME if you drink some magic potion!!!)

Absolute nonsense!!

Its similar with repeat again , refer back and return back. Redundant usage.

Finally, its the one that irritates- SIMP-SIMPLY

Oh its not a new word that's been added in English. Its the literal translation of "Chup-chupke"

I am SIMP-SIMPLY dying here; unable to bear this all.............

Spare me!!