What next for Paul?

Its been announced that Paul has decided to hang his boots. Yeah, 8 boots, all at at time.

 

He wont be predicting anymore, that is what his handlers have announced on "behalf" of him. Maybe "We want Paul for the pan" got his thinking hat on and he decided to quit!!

But the celebrity has been getting lot of offers, predicting sporting events, to be part of promotions by a Japanese fortune telling company. Media coverage was given to him more than the soccer matches. Spain wants to rechristen him as Pablo. He has a 24 hour security guard.

Now people, who does not want the octopus life, 8 legs are always better than 2 :-P  He is so famous, so many love him, many others love to hate him.

Alright, so Paul has decided to retire. But what if he just changes his mind? There are lot of job opportunities in India for Paul, THE place which seems to have plenty of jobs today!

After hyping him so much and projecting him as a celebrity, our Indian media would not think twice to hire him as a TV News presenter. Move away the Arnabs, the Banerjees and the Dutts. Here is Paul, the Oracle. Your job of spculating a news is not needed henceforth. No more speculations, no more shouting on top of your voice, no more confortonations. Leave it to Paul. He will predict correctly if Aiswarya Rai Bachan can see the moon or not this Karwa Chauth.

Where else can he best fit into other than out stock markets? Give the baton to him and he will rule! You and I can invest depending on his sooth sayings. Will it be the Bear or the Bull? Our MBAs have been mooted with the question and their predicament goes wrong. They would definitely need Paul's helping 'legs' to predict the correct result. Company's quarter results, our annual bonus all depend on it, is it not?

Talking about hiring Paul to be on TV, is it not more glamorous if he is part of our Bollywood? Run around trees. Eh? Not anymore, now couple run around swanky yacht, talk only in billions and vacation in the Bahamas in our Bollywood movies. Yet, they don't rake in any moolah. The Kites just fly away and the Raavan's 10 head chopped off. Our eight-legged Oracle could again come to rescue. We all know these producer's and director's penchant of casting foreigner and always a sure winner that he is!! he would be case in the lead role. Anyone could be his female co-star. Last heard Ms. Rakhi Sawant wants to feel his 8 limbs wrapped around her! Is she not the best option?

Oh yes!! the seat of power. The Great Indian Politics. Parties will hire his service to predict who would win the next election. Accordingly, come up with their strategy. Aww, don we know they are ready to go at any lengths? So they might even nominate Paul for the post of Prime Minister. Now, its easy! India does not have any rule which states a foreign born cannot be our country's PM. So Mr.Paul for PM. Yaaeeyy!! He does not have to talk much, just be the way our PM is. All he has to do pick one mussel from a tank and the preamble set and bills passed according to what he chose :-P

The cricketing league would not want want to be left behind in the race to grab him. They would try their level best to hire Paul to predict IPL matches. Who much cares playing for country anymore? IPL winners, man of the match et all. He would be called to present the cup to the winning team as well, such is his fame, spread far and wide.

A bit difficult job for him would be to predict when India and Pakistan would reach a truce on Kashmir. But never ever underestimate him. Just have him as your Minister of External Affairs, send him to Pakistan and yeah, not to worry, he will return safe folks!! Paella and sushi are not Pakistani delicacies, so have faith.

All said and done, in addition to living with the accolades, he has to put up with lot of issues here as well. Few left wings might not want soothsaying from an 'outsider'. They would vouch for the desi parakeets. Few religion fanatics will question his religion. Is he a minority? Then his predication are not considered!! Few regional fanatics would want to know which is his native tongue? How could he gorge on mussels from the neighboring state with whom we are fighting for water!!! Not done!!

If he decides to take up a job in India, Paul needs lot of good luck :-P