Saturday, July 17, 2010

What next for Paul?

Its been announced that Paul has decided to hang his boots. Yeah, 8 boots, all at at time.


He wont be predicting anymore, that is what his handlers have announced on "behalf" of him. Maybe "We want Paul for the pan" got his thinking hat on and he decided to quit!!

But the celebrity has been getting lot of offers, predicting sporting events, to be part of promotions by a Japanese fortune telling company. Media coverage was given to him more than the soccer matches. Spain wants to rechristen him as Pablo. He has a 24 hour security guard.

Now people, who does not want the octopus life, 8 legs are always better than 2 :-P  He is so famous, so many love him, many others love to hate him.

Alright, so Paul has decided to retire. But what if he just changes his mind? There are lot of job opportunities in India for Paul, THE place which seems to have plenty of jobs today!

After hyping him so much and projecting him as a celebrity, our Indian media would not think twice to hire him as a TV News presenter. Move away the Arnabs, the Banerjees and the Dutts. Here is Paul, the Oracle. Your job of spculating a news is not needed henceforth. No more speculations, no more shouting on top of your voice, no more confortonations. Leave it to Paul. He will predict correctly if Aiswarya Rai Bachan can see the moon or not this Karwa Chauth.

Where else can he best fit into other than out stock markets? Give the baton to him and he will rule! You and I can invest depending on his sooth sayings. Will it be the Bear or the Bull? Our MBAs have been mooted with the question and their predicament goes wrong. They would definitely need Paul's helping 'legs' to predict the correct result. Company's quarter results, our annual bonus all depend on it, is it not?

Talking about hiring Paul to be on TV, is it not more glamorous if he is part of our Bollywood? Run around trees. Eh? Not anymore, now couple run around swanky yacht, talk only in billions and vacation in the Bahamas in our Bollywood movies. Yet, they don't rake in any moolah. The Kites just fly away and the Raavan's 10 head chopped off. Our eight-legged Oracle could again come to rescue. We all know these producer's and director's penchant of casting foreigner and always a sure winner that he is!! he would be case in the lead role. Anyone could be his female co-star. Last heard Ms. Rakhi Sawant wants to feel his 8 limbs wrapped around her! Is she not the best option?

Oh yes!! the seat of power. The Great Indian Politics. Parties will hire his service to predict who would win the next election. Accordingly, come up with their strategy. Aww, don we know they are ready to go at any lengths? So they might even nominate Paul for the post of Prime Minister. Now, its easy! India does not have any rule which states a foreign born cannot be our country's PM. So Mr.Paul for PM. Yaaeeyy!! He does not have to talk much, just be the way our PM is. All he has to do pick one mussel from a tank and the preamble set and bills passed according to what he chose :-P

The cricketing league would not want want to be left behind in the race to grab him. They would try their level best to hire Paul to predict IPL matches. Who much cares playing for country anymore? IPL winners, man of the match et all. He would be called to present the cup to the winning team as well, such is his fame, spread far and wide.

A bit difficult job for him would be to predict when India and Pakistan would reach a truce on Kashmir. But never ever underestimate him. Just have him as your Minister of External Affairs, send him to Pakistan and yeah, not to worry, he will return safe folks!! Paella and sushi are not Pakistani delicacies, so have faith.

All said and done, in addition to living with the accolades, he has to put up with lot of issues here as well. Few left wings might not want soothsaying from an 'outsider'. They would vouch for the desi parakeets. Few religion fanatics will question his religion. Is he a minority? Then his predication are not considered!! Few regional fanatics would want to know which is his native tongue? How could he gorge on mussels from the neighboring state with whom we are fighting for water!!! Not done!!

If he decides to take up a job in India, Paul needs lot of good luck :-P


  1. eggjactly...paul babu has lot of opportunities in india...he should shift his residence here ;-) anyways he had given bejan daruwalla inferiority complex last week :)

  2. I know what you mean here and this is such an apt post !

    LOL @ the last liner...Paul indeed needs lit of GL to work in India :)

  3. ROFL. Trust you to come up with a post like this. Paul will need the assistance of another 'Paul' if he decides to shift base to India. His own future will be uncertain ;)

  4. welll athuyelam rite... but I think even If i dress up like Paul and showcast some fortunes... and by chance ( or by preplan) if it works then they will believe that too... dont need to bring Paul... just make a dupe Paul :)!

  5. LOLZZZ yeahhh enough jobs for him in "India :P he should try in software industry also :P

  6. ohh what abt the parrot of India... totally jobless i guess :P

  7. G3,

    :-) He should start his visa process :-P

  8. Nu,

    Thanks. Oh yes! he does and we are all there to wish him luck!

  9. lostworld,

    Thank you. Hahahaha, maybe parakeet Mani could be of his assistance :-P

  10. Hary,

    so you want to compete with Paul? Hmm....try your luck. Anything is possible in this country :-)

  11. Rajlakshmi,

    Yes yes, he would have his hands..err...legs full here.
    He can give a try in software too.

    The parrot would either be his competitor, even though its going to tough or else join Paul as his assistant :-D

  12. lol...a fun read...the kinda things you have mentioned here are like hot cakes..the only thing paul will be able to predict correctly in india are price hikes and strikes..even next place of road digging..and traffic jam..and such..don't you think the points that I have mentioned here, we all are pauls as we can predict these things too?

  13. Wonder if even Paul can predict the direction this country is heading.
    A good post funny and stern.

  14. Neha,

    Thanks. Yeah, Paul will be busy throughout. Right said, we are all Pauls and Manis in this case!

  15. Indians have lot of superstitions. Now we hear and see a brainless, invertebrate creature making predictions. Isn't it ridiculous?

  16. anil,

    Not even God can predict that!
    Glad you like the post. thanks much

  17. chitra,

    True. But Mr.Paul is from the European zone. They have labeled Indian homeopathic as witchcraft. They are the same who are believing Paul now.

    All sort of ridicule does happen in this world.

  18. hey super post ya...i was telling my friends come 2 chennai..kili, eli, ellam jyoshyam sollum...what octo-fuss...

  19. Good article .. all the best with paul and to him too if he decided to come to india..

  20. he he i loved the regional angle:)

  21. Ramesh,

    Thank you. Hahahaha..right..kili, eli, poonai, yaanai..ellaame sollum namma oorla :-D

  22. Bik,

    thank you. Oh yes, he needs our wishes :-D

  23. WD,

    thank you. Glad you liked my perspective :-)

  24. World cup predictions have blessed an ordinary octopus with international fame.
    Thoroughly enjoyed your take on the topic. The opening line of deciding to hang his eight boots was fantastic.
    It's my first visit to your interesting blog and I enjoyed my visit here :)

    Keep up the wonderful work.


  25. Ah! True! Paulie baby will be very very busy in India!! And yes, he will need a hell lot of good wishes too!
    Very interesting post!
    Cheers :)

  26. Paul really has scope in India! But right now, I would prefer to BBQ and wash it down with a chilled beer!

  27. Loved the different take on the complicated state of affairs here- maybe Paul can accept it as a demanding job

  28. Chatterbox,

    Oh yes!! From ordinary to extraordinary.
    I am glad you enjoyed reading this. Its tough for people to retire, and he might have had a tough time to decide to quit, as he had to hang his 8 boots :-P

    I am glad. Please keep visiting. Thank you for your encouragement.


  29. shilpa,

    Oh yes!! wont he be? We will make sure he is!
    Thank you for the comments.

  30. A.K,

    You bet!! who better than he?
    Oh my!! Oh my!! Poor Paul. No wonder he has 24x7 security :-)

  31. Holy Lama,

    Thank you. Im glad you liked it. Demanding it would be, and grueling as well for him. Not an easy task to appease 100+ crore people eh!!

  32. @RR Yeah man! kili joshiyam is much better than this fuss..

    @ Insignia: ROFl!! super girl. Paul can never survive in India. So let him be where he is.I thought i could buy him and own him for treating my personal disaster areas..but guess i am just fine manhandling em..:P

  33. Holy Lama,

    I got an email forwarded the other day. And it said in Malayalam, that
    Paul the Octopus died ( neerali Paul Marichu)
    Then when scrolled down it said below- Paul was asked a question as to when India will send a team to the WC football. And the Octopus began to laugh , laugh and finally fell dead.

  34. Madhu,

    thank you. Yeah you say he is better off where he is! True! :-D

  35. hey u should come here and c 4 yrself yar...bayangara heat..3 naala power illai...can u believe? sharjahvai patri naan enna sollla...

  36. interesting read
    Mr.Paul tried to tell the truth about astrology.

  37. Ramesh,

    Thats pathetic. 3 days no power in a place which literally burns!! I pray it all comes back to normal soon :-)

  38. sm

    Thanks. Oh yes! Thats what he did

  39. The last para was the hilarious conclusion of it all! You should do occasional journalism :) You really should.

    We're that neighboring state, okay!!

    I'm peeping in now and then, during my studies.. I'll catch up with your posts sloowly, ok :]

  40. et,

    Thats a huge compliment. I think I should start considering journalism. How about an alternate profession?

    Hahahaha, there are lot of states in India et!!! So chill!!

    Not yours or mine here :-P

    I do understand you are busy with your exams and such. Did see your Compiler Design Syntax Error the other day on Facebook. Peep in whenever you want to..all yours. And yeah best luck for exams :-)

  41. Yeah.. you can always write and send over some articles to the newspapers and magazines!

    And, thanks a lot ^_^

  42. et,

    Thank you, I should figure out how to go about it. Take care :-)


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