Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Musings

I have always restricted myself from publishing offbeat posts. Offbeat for me - my personal state of being or random ramblings. It is not that I have been predictable. I dont like to be predictable; it gives me an insatiable pleasure when I do things off the track; off the mundane path - only to do something more to satisfy my thirst. If it is current affairs for some time; it would be humor and fiction other days or I would enjoy throwing in few verses of what I would call poetry. With respect to what I post here - I refrain from writing about my personal stuffs; rather on subjects that people can relate to and share their views on them. There is that sense of satisfaction when you learn and let others learn as well.

These being my thoughts; I never attempt to write about things going on with me. Either I think its too trivial and normal or I tend to think people might think I am flaunting. Amrit suggested I write about my home and I was dismissing the idea supporting with reasons that the readers might think I am showing off. But he encouraged me to go ahead and convinced me that it wont be a show off.

Anyway today I just want to write about nothing in general; but just write. What you call letting your hair down once in a while. I have never been busy ever in my life; that I can say "I didnt find time". For me 24 hours is sufficient; but I do tend to give the ever tried and tested "No time" excuse if I am not able to do something for different reasons - be it lack of interest, contemplation or favorable space. Now that its lean period at work; free for next 1 month at the minimum, I have been wondering what do I do to kill my time.

I am known for procrastinating for indefinite period. I was supposed to join Spanish classes and I am yet to. Prior to that I inquired about Tanjore painting classes and was prepared to join but I had to travel out of country on work and later when I came back; I just left at that. I was thinking of joining some photography classes to learn the techniques and make use of my beast(Nikon D7000) better. Thats also in back burner now. I could brush up my skills or learn some new stuffs at work. I am not doing them either.

I have all the time in the world. Even otherwise I had time. It makes me wonder if people are really that busy when they say they have no time. Is it that they cant manage time or that they are inefficient or is something wrong with me? If you folks remember I used to post regularly while in US even with my hands full with work. But this ability to find time for everything intimidates me. One of my blogger friend mentioned that she is not finding time to write! and here I was finding so much time. I could keep writing; my other personality told me "Stop! Dont post frequently! Are you that jobless?"

I know of many bloggers who have quit blogging due to lack of time. Will it ever happen to me? Or will I quit writing when I dont find anything substantial to write anymore or when I feel my quality is demeaning? Or what if something happens to me? What will happen to my 270+ posts? Who will hold the copyright? Who will manage there on?

Many such thoughts....about life, love, respect, purpose in life among other worries like "why is the rose bud taking these many days to bloom?" or "when will they restore my internet connection?" or "how to make place for a new pair of shoes?". There are other serious worries as well about loan and career and family and such. But they dont give me sleepless nights as the rose bud or lack of space for a new pair of shoes would give. But life goes on among all these worries. Each day I see this caretaker's family living in a makeshift made from tarpaulin in our apartment's car parking area.  The family worked as construction laborers and now are assisting the builder in another project. 2 kids - a girl and a boy. They are always cheerful; the family always happy. They cook outside using wood. Its the way of the world that those who construct houses for others have no roof under them. But I find them contended; I gave away a doll and soft balls to those kids and the smile on their faces was worthless.

They dont have to worry about which toy to choose to play with - the only one is their precious one. Their parents dont have to worry about curtains and drapes to adorn their makeshift home. They have 3 dogs for company. They form such a lovely community. The lady comes running to open the gates when we take our car out. The girl comes to fetch the garbage every morning. I feel uncomfortable. When she came this morning I gave her a pack of biscuits and sweetly told her I would take care of the garbage. I told them not to do such service for me and that I dont like anybody doing my work. I feel embarrassed; hope they understood. What is wrong in cleaning your own dirt?

For few more days I think I will have lot of thoughts pondering in my mind; time to reflect and act on few things. I cant keep my mind idle. As I ponder and reflect, I will continue to learn.

20 comments:

  1. IDEAAAAAAAAAAAa .... Hop on a plane and you know where to land..
    the weather here is SUPER COOOOOOOLLLLL .. and goood ...

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  2. ."Musings" oh I did not Copyright it !!!
    B, you have presented your thoughts well.
    ‘Having no time’, is a pompous statement of imperiousness that is what I feel. My question to such folks is how long do they work in a day? Surely they find time for all comforts. It is simply also the question of priority and not lack of time.

    And each man may have his own stories of sorrow and elation. Can we judge by the countenance (as you see the caretaker and the family?). I think not. Some are adept (may be naturally endowed) in carrying problems and difficulties in their stride, some others cannot help fretting and being cowed and some others offend others for their lack of common sense and mundane difficulties. And for being unable to stand up to an overbearing spouse, some take on others.

    Quite fascinating to think all this and in the bargain stop worrying personally!

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  3. I'd like to begin by saying that this is one of your best posts. It has such a refreshing quality about it. On the surface it may seem trivial, but you have asked some basic questions on existence.

    # Writing personal matters: Only very rarely have I deviated from my main topic - me! I feel so incompetent to write about politics and philosophy and academics and culture and what-not. I write mostly about personal feelings, reactions, situations in which I am the central figure. Whether it is about love for nature, for dogs, for people, I can best understand it the way I react to it. Yet when I write about it, I try to see something universal about my experiences so that my readers can relate to it. When I am writing about Parvati or Nachiketh or Sancho, it is equally about how the world see the relation between a man and his wife,son and dog. My world is small; try as I might, I am yet to understand it completely - the less said about the outer world, the better!

    #" I am busy, can you call after sometime?" We hear this very often, every day. When people say that they don't have time to write, they mean, like Anil said,that it is lower in their priority list. For me, I need to be in the mood to write; not exactly the coziness of my room, but a state of mind in which I want to write.


    Ousu had recently written his thoughts as he stood on his balcony watching a labourer couple working below and had mused how happy they seemed to be. Happiness is relative and momentary; things could go wrong the next moment. But let me tell you, the less one possesses, the happier the person. With every addition of possession comes the fear of sorrow of losing it.

    I remember reading somewhere long ago that for every ball of rice that you eat, somebody else is going hungry. it is human of us to feel guilty of the fortunes we have; sharing them with the less fortunate might mitigate it and increase our happiness too!

    "As I ponder and reflect, I will continue to learn." That's it, B. That just sums it all up.

    Thank you so much for the wonderful piece of writing. I felt I was sitting at the beach as the sun set and a breeze caressed me by...

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  4. Efficient, organized and intelligent people always have time. I do not remember ever saying 'I do not have time'. Of course I would make another excuse if I don't want to meet someone or do something.

    About blogging, I think if you stick with one subject then it becomes boring. I am proud of you for 270+ posts

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  5. You said very well Insignia. Like you, I always wondered why people say “I have no time”. A friend of mine would never take a vacation giving this excuse. I always tell him if the President of the United States can take a vacation, why not you. Are you busier than him?

    Also, I always wondered about why people work so late at night at office everyday. Not just a few days when there is special project. It is either they are doing more than one person’s work or they are unorganized inefficient people. As you already know, my policy is “work smart not hard”.

    I like your inquisitive mind. Keep it up and continue to learn.

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  6. It's not that we don't get time to do something that we ought to do. It's all bout priorities, if you ask me.

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  7. My comments are normally short.
    I dont miss reading any of your posts, irrespective of my travel schedule.BUT--this is one of your better posts. Keep writing as often as you can.

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  8. Well.. so ur on a break when am just back from a month long break from work-blogging-networking... enjoy ur time lady

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  9. :) I write such things only these days..my work is really taxing..I work odd hours, sleep is my enemy and other blah blah blah, but yeah I am busy..it's not that I don't have time, it's that I don't want any free time..I like being busy..it is not always nice, but still, it's better than the feeling of sulking that I do when I am not working these days :) and I do take vacations too :P

    @ SG, you have been too busy too, right? :)

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  10. I felt so happy to read about the care taker's family. Even I do not encourage little children to work for me.

    People whose 'wants' are less are more happy I feel . I am happy you got them goodies.Share . You will enjoy. I love doing this.

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  11. No time is one of my fav excuse to avoid meeting up with people or to procrastinate some task :P

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  12. hi,

    # those lines seem to be pointing at me..(thats what I think!)
    24 hrs now seems a lot.
    We seldom leave things that we are passionate for.
    I agree with 'SG' on the President example.

    #don't keep your mind idle, the more you pore your heart out here,the more I would learn !

    # "thumps up" for 270+ posts.
    :)

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  13. THE COMMENTS EATEN OFF BY BLOGGER

    Meety has left a new comment on your post "Musings":

    Well.. so ur on a break when am just back from a month long break from work-blogging-networking... enjoy ur time lady

    Neha has left a new comment on your post "Musings":

    :) I write such things only these days..my work is really taxing..I work odd hours, sleep is my enemy and other blah blah blah, but yeah I am busy..it's not that I don't have time, it's that I don't want any free time..I like being busy..it is not always nice, but still, it's better than the feeling of sulking that I do when I am not working these days :) and I do take vacations too :P

    @ SG, you have been too busy too, right? :)


    BK Chowla, has left a new comment on your post "Musings":

    My comments are normally short.
    I dont miss reading any of your posts, irrespective of my travel schedule.BUT--this is one of your better posts. Keep writing as often as you can.


    chitra has left a new comment on your post "Musings":

    I felt so happy to read about the care taker's family. Even I do not encourage little children to work for me.

    People whose 'wants' are less are more happy I feel . I am happy you got them goodies.Share . You will enjoy. I love doing this.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Bik,

    Yup I would love to! But after few days :)

    anil,

    Haaa you didnt! :-)
    I agree anil. Thats my perception of that family; I am sure they would have their sorrows. They might have a similar idea about us - life all rosy for us kind!

    But yeah its a welcome break to forget our sorrows for a while :)

    Blana,

    Thanks Balan :) I just ranted!

    1. I admire you for your way of wrapping up your personal experiences in an interesting way that one gets to learn out of it. Your knack of binding values and stories of your own with messages is too good. I dont think I could do that. A friend of mine who is passive but regularly reads my posts and few others one of which is yours recently commented about your writing. The way you connect the physical, philosophical aspect is good.

    2. Yes, so no time is not a genuine reason but a wrapper for other reasons.

    3. I remember ousu's post. He had reflected his views so well. I agree with you; with every possession, we fear more. Its my perception of that family being happy; but who knows what issues they are in.

    ""As I ponder and reflect, I will continue to learn." - Its my way of transformation to a better person Balan :)

    I am so glad you liked this post; I just ranted without any intent. :)

    A,

    Thanks A. Yeah I dont recall mentioning "no time" unless I just didnt want to do something.
    270+ posts! yeah it surprises me. When I started I thought I wouldnt go beyond 10

    SG,

    You might already know that the longer you spend at work, the more inefficient you are. Thats what the management says. So if one thinks spending more time at work means working hard then they are wrong!

    Yes, I have always told people "work smart, not hard". I remember repeating this piece of advice to a classmate of mine since school days

    Nethra,

    Yes, I agree. But why give that false reason of no time is what I am asking.

    G3,

    Exactly! same here :P

    Anurag,

    :-) Aah you would learn if you are a regular here :-P

    Thanks so much

    Meety,

    Thanks, yeah kinda break time for me :)

    Neha,

    Yeah its better to keep busy than sulk and wonder what to do! :)

    Chowla sir,

    Thank you sir. I am glad you read my posts. Thanks for encouraging me :)

    chitra,

    :-) Not only little children, even elders. Why should they serve us? Working for payment is one thing. But just because our economic status is better than them; it doesnt mean they help us trash our garbage or open the gates when we ought to take our car out. I dont like it!

    :-)

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  15. Hi Bindu,

    I completely agree.I admit i belong to the category of people who says 'no time'

    But off late , i don't complain about time.I have changed a little.I will soonremove these two words from my dictionary :)

    Regarding personal post, i always write only personal posts because I don't write dairy now.

    And yea, i feel sad when people transfer their simple tasks to others in the name of giving money.

    tc

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  16. Nikon D7000 good to know which you are using.
    About construction workers life you narrated well its same everywhere in India.
    excellent post.

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  17. Hi, first time here, and I enjoyed this post. I came here after reading your commendable story on A's blog. About time, I really do think that I don't have enough time. I guess once you have two young kids, work yourself, enjoy cooking, working out, reading and writing, then not having enough time is not really an excuse :). Also, sometimes when one writes too often those of us who actually read others' posts once in a week end up missing some.

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  18. Ramya,

    Thats nice :)

    Yeah blog is one's space, write whatever you are comfortable with :)

    sm,

    Thanks sm.

    Rachna,

    Welcome to B Log.

    Thanks so much :) I agree; there may be genuine reasons for not having time. What surprises me is why dont I find myself in that "no-time" situation! Its weird! either I am not doing all my work properly or that I just dont have enough work to do! :)

    Thanks again, keep visiting

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  19. I was going through your posts,and found I missed this one.
    This post is unusual,it is different from your regular posts,and so it stands out.
    I had written sometime back on blogging,where I had mentioned that most bloggers run out of topics after some time.That is,if you think about serious subjects to write about.But this post shows there is no need for that.

    Writing personal matters..I have had bad experiences,and so would keep very personal matters out of it.We are often taken away by emotional reactions,and so, likely to make errors of judgement.

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  20. dr.antony,

    Thanks doc. Being idle invokes a lot of thoughts. This was just random, but surprisingly lot of them liked it. I am scared to write personal stuffs for the fear of revealing too much of myself.

    I agree with you on emotional reactions.

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