On a lighter note

Few funny stuffs I received as forwards. I thought why not share them if its going to tickle some funny bones. And please note that there's nothing personal and no offense.

A SHORT STORY

Ramya was about to leave office after finishing her work. She got a call from her husband Karthik,

RAMYA: "Hello, yes Karthi".
KARTHIK: "Ramya, can you open my gmail and get a print out of the mail from that US consultant I forgot to take it in my office"
RAMYA: "Yes, I can, I need your password"
KARTHIK: "jeni22091980"
RAMYA: "Ok fine"

She takes the print out and logs out. Some thought struck her mind now.
JENI happens to be his college mate. Hmmm...

She decides not to discuss this with Karthik. She simply opens her mail box and changes the password from "mohan143" to "karthikramya" and leaves for home!
MORAL OF THE STORY: Change your password! NOW!

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Japanese Prime Minister's English skills

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!

A few years ago, Japanese Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets President Bill Clinton...

The instructor told Mori, the Japanese Prime minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'
Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you...????'
Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards the translators, will do the work for you.'

It looks quite simple, but the truth is...

When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said
'WHO are you?' (instead of 'HOW are you'?'. )

Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...'

Then Mori replied
'Me too, ha-ha..haaaa...'.

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room

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Tears

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee,
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes! I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.
"Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said,
'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,

"I would have been released today!"

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QUOTES

1. Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, forgot laughter were called

"Saints"

But now they are called..

"IT professionals"

2. An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:

" If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"

3. Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present..

Its just that,

One loves too much, and

The other loves too many,

4.Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!

5. Philosophy of life

At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,

Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

6. What is a Fear?

Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach

When pages of your book still smell new

and

Just few hours left for your exams..!

7. Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"

No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!

8. Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?

Shopkeeper: Oh sure...! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"

Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!

9. After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an opening for you..!

Applicant: What is it?

Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"

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A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile..... somewhere, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached Safely
Date: 21 st July, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and we are allowed to send e-mails to our loved ones. I've just reached safely and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was .........

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A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
'Dear Lord:
I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.
I want her to know what I go through.
So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.
Amen!'

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, Awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the check book.
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then, it was already 01P.M.
And he hurried to make the beds, Do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework.
Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher, Folded laundry, Bathed the kids, And put them to bed.

At 09 P.M .
He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: -
'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking.
I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.

Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back.

Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You'll just have to wait nine months, though.

You got pregnant last night.'