Tuesday, July 5, 2011


"You are going thin" (Read no belly and no double chin)

Dont you oil your hair? It looks so dry. Why do you chop off your hair? Come here, let me oil your hair and tie a plait.

What dress is this? Loafing around like a boy!

Dont you wear a saree ever? Salwar at least

What would people think about you? Wont they have the opinion that you are not happy in your life? Look at you Velu, poor thing! how you have become.

(Velu is wearing a pencil style jean trouser, a tight fitting T shirt and converse shoes with ruffled unkempt locks that falls to his shoulders)  

All in all, I look like a poverty stricken girl and he looks like a tramp.

Are you guys not happy in your life?

Eat well. What are you going to achieve by earning so much?

My hair gets oiled. Our plates are filled with lot of food. The aim is to make us fat.

I wonder since when was prosperity associated with your body's fat proportion.

I also wonder why do people think I earn sack loads of money and dont spend it on food!!

Its an awkward moment when you cant explain to your 'elders' that you are eating right and healthy and that you are working out to keep yourself fit. Its absurd to be associating your prosperity with how fat you are!! There are other myths which are really funny.

All fair people are rich.

Rich people dont do well in academics.

Good looking guys/girls are good at heart.

Only an academic career can fetch you success.

Girl with a carefree attitude will not be a good wife. 

The list would go on......

Its amazing that how these myths survive even to this day with our strong education and social awareness. They are old wives tale, being carried from one generation to another - without any questions asked. You try to question and you are sure damned. Few of them dont have serious outcomes; thus could be ignored. But unfortunately most of them are not.

How many ever lakhs of rupee of Gold ETFs you hold as investments; you cant pin those bonds in place of gold jewelry for a social gathering, isn't it? You are still poor :-) When would the poor black cat cross the road?

On the surface, these myths look absolutely harmless, but investigate it and you know the damage. Me being 'thin'; (which I am not) would boil down to my unhappiness because my husband is not taking good care of me. Thats because he supposedly does not like me and he is a bad man. My husband having ruffled long locks(which he let it grow for a change) means I am not taking care of him.

We are secular liberals; modern society with futuristic thoughts....yet few things just dont change.


  1. My family does not give me food to eat! No food at all you know, because I am very thin! How absurd! Each time they tell me that I have reduced..as per their theory, I would have disappeared by now!

    I ignore them now..that's the best thing! fat = prosperous - bullshit :P

    You are so right about the myths..another thing - when you attend weddings, at that time too people judge you from the way you behave!

  2. B, to read into some ones life the way we can be satisfied. That is the norm. So even if you deck up in Kancheevaram saree and your spouse in a Reid & Taylor, the beholder will see and read only what he wants your life to be. There is no myth here. The fact is there are many such people around. The best ignore them.
    Stereotyping is quite common.

  3. Insignia - the size of ones pot-belly is proportionate to ones prosperity, and it has been the accepted norm to determine prosperity in India for a long time. Can't blame the people, where we have portraits of Nizams and Nawabs with huge bulging pot-belly, show casing their prosperity, protruding out menacingly from the chair they sat.

    I couldn't help but laugh reading the post, because I have found myself in a lot of similar scenes from the time my memory holds good. The ruffled locks of Velu, if only people ever tried understand that it is not the lack of your time for him but rather the un-conditional love you have for him, which is giving him the choice to grow his locks long or shave it off..

    If only people ever understood that love, is all about freedom, independence and trust, which both of you shower each other with.. But all that the blind grandma gets to see is the lack of care or attention..I pity them..They are missing the most beautiful thing, the love and trust you have for each other :)

  4. Nice one. Super. Reminds me of Vadivelu comedy line. Avan sigappa irukkaan. Avan poi solla mattaan. (His skin color is fair. Therefoe, he won't lie.)

  5. Outrageous!! But I guess, you can't argue or correct them, coz, it would be a herculean task to convince them otherwise. So, ignoring such 'myths' would be better! :)

  6. True..to add some more from the region I come from,the girls wearing skirt & blouse are blessed even before they talk.They are the best with the 'real' girl image.Ditto with sari where as if you are in a jeans,you may be regarded as a 'spoiled'
    one..haha.and even now in films,to just give view of how bad the girl is,they make her a 'jeanswali' and when she start being 'good',she has to definitely wear sari..

    btw,who cares ? just ignore and keep going...at the end of the day what matters is being you.

  7. No one asks me that cause they can see the FAT me and have given up on everything ..

    I dont beleive in these myths according to my teacdhers I was the worst student they have ever had , how did i pass

    A lot have said how am I alive too with a few things that happened ..

    So myths will continue for as long as we live and as many people we meet that many new myths and also advices :)

    My advice to all would be Enjoy and have fun ...


  8. Girl with carefree attitude makes a good wife...she is easy going on her husband :)))))

    Put some oil B and gain some weight...:))))

  9. I was only going to leave wita a "cute post" comment, but in addition, also have to say, *sigh*. :( I wish I were as motivated to exercise & be fit as you aree :( But you do earn loads of money - that is my unshakeable belief. ;)

    Good read for a blog post. Take care. :)

  10. Myths worth ignoring .Enjoy oil massage on your hair and food on your plate :):)

  11. This comment just to ensure I get subscribed to email notifications for comments. :)

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  13. Like Bikram said, no one will think I am from a poor family, they just wonder, she doesn't work, why is she eating so much???

    LOL about the Gold Certificates. A few weeks ago, one of my aunts(almost 75) came for a visit. I had just come out of a bath and since I was busy taking care of the guests, I forgot to wear chain, earrings or bangles ( I hate wearing them at home). Vellyaamma asks me, "What happened to all your gold? Don't walk around like this. ". I was shocked!

  14. Ha.. you are lucky cuz you are being fed.. in my case they think am obese, as they always compare me with my size zero siblings... being round is considered being unhealthy and obese.. so I am usually stopped from having my share of goodies... :(

  15. How many times have we changed our own ideas!After all,that is all what can be changed.

    What is beauty today,could be said as ugly some other time.Being pale was the sign of beauty long time back,and I have read that they used to bleed young girls to make them look beautiful.Being plump meant affluence,and to some extent,right too.Now,everyone wants to be as thin as possible,they could be swept away by the wind!They color the hair to green,red and blue, which goes beyond any of my concept of aesthetics and beauty.
    Afterall,beauty is in the eys of the beholder.
    I had written my ideas about color preferences some time back.

  16. can't agree more!!

    anything and everything we do, there are people who speak the exact opposite!

    Ignorance is Bliss :)

  17. hehe So true! Just today, I was thinking about writing a post on similar lines :). I heard that a lot after marriage. I did not gain weight as expected in the South,so each time my mil had to hear is she not happy? It's another thing that I work out like possessed and eat healthy to stay slim, and I can't call myself thin either :). But, to these ladies fat is right! Really, why does feeding you till you die seem like hospitality?

    My solution, smile and ignore :). You can't change their perceptions. Kuch toh log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna...

  18. I completely agree with Onsu's views, the belly size is directly propotional to prosperity.

    Can't say much to these, they have became a part of our society, but we **the new generation** just smile and let them pass.
    After reading this post I realised you are already married..!!

  19. Neha,

    You dont talk about food ok???

    Its preposterous :) People judge us by their myths. I cant tolerate that


    I agree with you Anil. Yes, the best thing I learnt to do is to ignore such folks. But you know they all are around and sometimes can get onto your nerves.


    Super like what you have said.

    Yeah, yeah! when we have our ancestors showcasing their prosperity, we cant help but wince.

    If only our so called elders understood and has thoughts as matured as you Ousu :)

    I am amazed that you could figure out just in these few lines. Yes, I let him be the way he wants to be - no influencing, no force but only freedom..Its the same way he treats me as well.

    We respect and trust each other. If only, people realized that.





    Yes shilpa, you can never convince them. Its best to ignore as you said


    Hahaha yeah :) Thats absurd isnt it? A 'ghar ki bahu' always drapes herself in a saree whereas a 'chudail' is seen in a jeans and a shirt :-P


    Yes thats what I am doing :)


    Wish everyone thought the way you think :-D

    Yes, have to GAIN SOME WEIGHT :-D


    Was this post 'cute'? Uummphhh!!!

    Go hit the gym Ketan :)

    No way! I dont earn loads of money, shake away that belief :)


    Haha good one. Yeah thats what I should do.


    :-) OK!!


    Aah Vellyaamma has a keen eye :) Next time take her help. She would have already kept a tab on what all jewelery you possess :-P


    Hmm either way we are fired!!


    Yes doc. Thats the only thing.

    Oh yeah! I have read that too. But now you know, people spend money to get themselves tanned!!

    However a person is externally; that doesnt vouch to form an opinion isnt it? I guess its unique to Indians :)


    Yes, best to let go.


    Ha i can relate to you. People 'expected' me to put on after marriage. Thats the sign of a happy wife :-P

    But only we know how much of hard work and what goodies we skip to lead a healthy life style :)


    Yes, Ousu put just the right thing :)

    :-P Yes I am 'already' married. Hope thats not a crime :-P

  20. all fair people are rich....hahhaha --it sure stole the show

  21. I am fed well,I am not fat but well built, I am not rich but I am a bit fair.

  22. if fair people are rich, thn m surely rich ;)but at the same time i did well in academics, that means m not rich, thn how come i'm fair ;)
    and if a Girl with a carefree attitude will not be a good wife...thn i think i should not think of getting married in my whole life...people and their theories will never stop, i guess.
    nice post, gave me fodder to laugh for the rest of the day :)

  23. Sujatha,

    :-) I hope you came across such a statement some point in life :)

    Welcome to B Log :)

    Chowla sir,

    :-) Sir, the myth stays :) You are rich and you are supposed to be fat :)

    Shadow of my life

    Like your name ;-) Welcome to B Log :)

    Thanks, yeah something to laugh about

  24. Thanks Insignia!!!!
    hey just one thing...m not new (to your blog) now ;)...it's been long time i started following you :P

  25. Oh!! OK! I am sorry :) I somehow didnt notice or this should be the first time you are commenting :)

  26. before this one, I commented on Polyglot :)

  27. Oh yes!! I recall. You said you might be able to teach me Punjabi :)

    I am so sorry, I couldnt pin it well. My memory is diminishing; signs of growing old :-D

  28. may be signs of working incessantly, thus resulting in getting thin and ultimately poor ;) ....myths!
    you write interesting posts...and you're a good photographer too :) keep posting posts and pics.

  29. Haha maybe! :)

    Thanks a lot, I am glad you can relate to what I write and yes, photography has been my hobby. Not finding opportunity nowadays.


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