Beauty Illiterate

Me and beauty salons are poles apart...Yes, unbelievable but true, I have somehow been averse to all those procedures to make oneself feel good. I mean, its not that I am clumsy and not presentable. I can confidently tell that I am attractive, but have not indulged in these things.

Weird, but that's how it has been. The only time I go to a salon is to have a hair cut. It was around a year back that I decided to appear like a girl with decent hair length and decided to grow them after having a boy cut. But that was not the case. And there were these depressed moments when lumps of hair would come in my hands with a stroke.

So I decided to visit the salon.Oh my goodness, is there anyone here who has been told "Wow!! Great hair!!"

Guess not!! Same happened with me. Got disgusting looks from the stylist after she felt my hair. "What have you done to your hair!!!" she sighed. "Split ends, dry scalp.....how often do you oil?" "Do you condition them?" " What shampoo do you use?".....magazine of questions shot at me. I answered them to her disappointment and told her "Just remove those split ends and chop it off as short as possible". Somehow, she thought it was too much a punishment and decided that she would give me a layered cut.

I wanted to just leave the place, but after having decided to step the gallows, let me get hung!!! Beauty salons somehow seem like a hospital OT to me!! The sight of those array of bottles, creams, gels.......eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww....give me jitters the same way the phenols, sanitizers, white and green screens in an hospital give. Those stylists are just as pale and expressionless as doctors and nurses!!

The stylist insisted that my hair needs a wash even though I had just washed them. So I let her way and operate my hair. She applied some shampoo, washed them, applied a cream, let it for a while and then I was ready for the LAYERED cut. I must admit that I was quite impressed the way she handled my hair. It put me to shame, there I was, pulling it and tying it up as if it was a unwanted extension on my body. And this lady was handling it with sheer elegance and care. She was graceful in styling it, applied some cream, hair perfume and dressed it. After that 2 hours, it was as though those hair were never mine!!!

What a metamorphosis!! I fell in love with my hair...The OOH-AAH factor!! This OOH-AAH was quite too fast I thought, it was PHEW!!! after I saw the bill...Cool 900 bucks!! And not to forget the products worth 1000s of rupees they try to sell "Your hair needs it. Repairs extra damage, conditions and regenerates".

I don't understand how only they can do it? The same shampoo or the cream doesn't work when I use it!!

It doesn't end here. I have always been a victim of "Oh dry, lifeless skin. Your skin is beautiful and healthy, why don't you have a facial? It will bring a glow. Aww..your eye brows. They have good shape. Why don't you trim them? Do you want to have a manicure? You have beautiful hands".........

Are they trying to say you look pathetic and un-kept? Or are they trying to compliment and say they will make it more better? I don't understand what's a night cream and a day cream? I don't understand what is the difference between a eye liner or a mascara? I don't follow a matte lap-stick and a glossy lip-stick. I don't understand how different is eye shadow from pancakes!!

I never use them and have felt I would never ever need them. But a visit to the salon always makes me think again; especially when you see 60+ women getting their hands and feet worked on!! Am I an illiterate? But the thought just lingers for a while. I don't want to know their differences....Ignorance is bliss :-) And fortunately I have never needed these high maintenance!!

Before signing off, an incident that I got reminded of....

Once, a friend of mine was leaving for India. He requested me to go to Walmart with him to choose cosmetics for his wife. Now, I did not want to say I didn't have a great knowledge about them. So I went with him, and he led me to the aisle which housed all those beauty and grooming products. He was picking up each pack and asked me if it was needed. I nodded for everything....gels, creams, oils, matte, gloss.....rows and rows of Latin and Greek for me. I randomly picked up packs and he happily obliged. The bill came to $670. :-|

Errrr......Do I suffer from Callophobia?? :-S