Wednesday, July 29, 2009


My grandma passed away recently. I was not close to her for other reasons. In order to pay her last respect, I did attend the funeral. I was disturbed and disgusted at few things that I observed. Its not in terms of customs and practices, these things are man-made and can always be relaxed. What I was petrified about was the basic human behavior.

I m back human bashing again, but I cant help it. People mourn, grieve or experience sorrow depending on how close they were to the person who has passed away. Those most affected by the loss observe mourning and are expected to observe a quiet and respectful behavior. Even when one does not relate to the dead person, the least expected is a sober behavior.

But not all display a sober behavior. The gathering to mourn someones loss is viewed a get-together. Its appalling; but catching up with long seen relatives and friends, introducing children and bragging about what they are studying, their foreign trips and exchanging business cards!!! And yeah, how did I forget the gaudy attire and the jewellery? The gathering was a forum to display wealth.

Considering Hinduism, death is not final end but the next stage of journey for the indestructible soul. I am sure this doesn't mean one has to celebrate!!

Is it that people go through such deep hardships in life that most of us are so insensitive and that we are so merged in our life that given any opportunity, we flaunt selfishly? The constant proliferation and access to struggles faced by man has made each one of us numb? Our minds are saturated by handling problems, struggling through out that consciously or unconsciously, we tend to handle things 'easily'? A person is dead, the least one can do is pay the person respect and observe silence. Was this the way to pay homage to a lost soul?

It was dismaying and shameful to observe such scenes. People behaving indifferently...I was a mute spectator and felt sad that I could do nothing about it.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Its a MAN MAN world?

Guys.....Gentlemen.......Rough men.....Boys............This ain't a chauvinistic post. So chill and don't come to a conclusion.

I read a disturbing news recently about a 39 year old woman constable with the Punjab Intelligence Wing being assaulted by one of her senior male colleagues. This heinous act was committed in full public view and the poor lady was spared only after a colleague intervened.

My only thought was - If a women with the police department doesn't have protection, what would be the plight of a common woman. No wonder people are wary of police in India. Those who should pledge security and maintain law and order indulge in these insensitive activities.

Police service is a highly male dominated profession. Few women who are bold enough to handle the demanding job and are enthusiastic to make an impact join the police forces. For a common man, these are the folks who could protect them, preserve law and order for peace. These women not only do hold the responsibility of protecting the state, but have to empower themselves to counteract the discrimination, oppression and prejudice from their fellow colleagues, institutions and others.

Few narrow minded men who cannot accept the fact that women are coming out of their kitchen and equally participating in areas where only males dominated until now are to blame. Women try hard to shake away the stigma attached that they are only fit to care and tend; they tend to struggle to show that they cannot be underestimated.

Pathetic state of affairs for most women yet. Not everything is thorny. We have come a far way and the role of a woman as a tenderly caretaker at home and an aggressive no-nonsense lady at work has been appreciated. Yet, incidents like these do happen. Sad.

Monday, July 20, 2009

What the ^%$#!! I never swear!

"It was a Beeeeeeep argument to begin with."
"What the ^%$# is happening?"

Yeah, profanity in our regular conversation. Call them curse, derogatory, dirty, strong, abusive, obscene, racist....broadly politically incorrect.

Swearing diminishes your character......... its sets a bad example.................its cheap.......Its bad for the dangers your relationship.......... its for whiners.............

Being rude, cursing, using strong language has become 'socially' acceptable now a days in our culture; that people have been using them royally and its a fad. We really don't need a communication course or language class to learn how to use them. We all know what those dirty words are. Anyways, learning things colloquially always stays with us for longer time than those learnt in a classroom!! Age plays a part too. It is less profane for an adult to curse than a child.

Even if its being widely used by people, they are a taboo in most cultures. Its a social taboo, religious taboo(blasphemous words) and hence a linguistic taboo. So its actually complex. Swearing is mostly associated with anger and frustration. But there are various other types of swearing. Its become so rampant that people swear to harbour negativity, to demand attention, to express violence, when anything unexpected happens, to emote, to exclaim, to sigh........everything is prefixed with a 'beep' word.

Use of these words are considered cool; thereby giving a new dimension to the usage of these words. So people use profanity for a variety of reasons and in a number of situations.
If someone wants to learn a new language, the first thing they would ask is to teach them few of dirty words. Why is it so interesting to learn dirty words first in a new language? Is it that it helps in social interactions? Most common usage of profanity is to show emotion and relieve frustration. An effective way to do that is to cry. But we cant weep in public, can we? Yet......

What made me write about this is for the obvious reason. I've been hearing lot of swearing around me and I have sort of got influenced. Human tendency to pick up things that's happening around them. Work, frustration, stress... takes a toll and we resort to venting out.
Swear words have greater impact to express extreme emotions and actually achieves the result otherwise tried through a legitimate way. One thing I have discovered is that I am prone to these stuff only at workplace. Profanity is impacted by situations and places huh? hmmmm.

Sometimes, people swear just to fit-in as its supposedly a cool thing and it becomes a habit. But it seems that swearing does relieve pain. The taboo surrounding such words are declining and hence usage of certain crude words are considered milder now than they were few decades ago. A perfect example is D H Lawrence's sexually explicit novel Lady Chatterley's Lover. It was published in 1960, nearly 3 decades after it was first written. The book contains swear words that are considered to be few of the most offensive ones in English and publishing it was a great step in liberation of the so called swear words.

Print media 'asterisks' swear words and television beeps utterances of certain words that are deemed to be offensive, but if you watch English movies now a days on TV with sub-titles, such words are replaced with acceptable milder form of swear words.

I used to not swear, but lately, I have got myself into the influenced. I personally don't like to and feel terrible after I swear.

Must QUIT!!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Where are you?

Last week, it rained for a couple of days and all were relieved that it was better late than never(here in my city)
After all it was just a delay of 2 weeks. That was what the views were. We were optimistic, but now I have lost hope, sort of and hence these thoughts.

I feel my happiness was premature when I proudly posted comments on my fellow bloggers' post that "We are getting rains here..Geeee " :-(

After that, no sight of rains. The weather is pleasant and gets windy during evenings. But NO RAINS!! Where are the rains?

I m missing all the things on rainy days.

I miss the pitter-patter sound of rain.
I miss the aroma of fresh mud as the first drops of rain fall and the earth slowly soaks in the water.
I miss the visual pleasure of the first water drops fall on the wind shield and see them explode leaving further tiny droplets and fractal edges.
I miss disturbing the pearly droplet that forms on the edge of the leaves.
I miss shaking the leaves and feeling the wet water on my palms while closing my eyes.
I miss walking in the rains while carefully watching my feet to avoid sloshing water.
I miss trying to manage my umbrella as it tries to fly away due to the wind.
I miss hiding my face to avoid the water bang my face.
I miss wiping my eyebrows and my cheeks with my wet hands, even though its vain.
I miss enjoying an ice cream while it rains heavily.
I miss the joy of achievement whenever I avoid being sloshed by unruly vehicles.
I miss tossing my wet hair and wetting things and folks around once I am home and seeing them get irritated and angry.
I miss drying the drenched hair and later cozy myself on the couch while feeling my chilly feet and frozen palms; sipping a hot steaming cuppa.
I miss that tranquility that I feel while watching the rains fall by from my window.

Above all, I miss the joy of walking home wearing a pure white pant, while trying hard to avoid it being soiled. Its euphoric and I have tried it many times. :-) I have set aside my white cotton Capri for just this thing but the rains are not here.

I am getting reminded of this rhyme that I learnt in kindergarten.

"Rain rain go away, Come again another day, Little Johnny wants to play, Rain rain go away"

For me, its

"Rain rain come again, come again and again, Little ( i little...:-P) Jill wants to play, Rain rain come again"

Monday, July 13, 2009


Follow up on my previous blog - I was told that I act smart just because I refrained from participating in a debate about legalization of homosexuality in India(I am not sure if its legalization or decriminalization. Ambiguity here)

My friend stated about the headlines on the newspaper and followed it with a 'yuck". He asked me what I thought about the decision. I plainly mentioned that each one would have a personal opinion and that we should not get into a discussion. This reply of mine made him feel that I supported the decision. I chose not to answer and hence I was tagged 'smart'.

Anyways, there are few things that I find amusing. People blindly follow certain rules/beliefs set forth at some point in time for the sheer convenience of certain class of people. These beliefs are not questioned and not analyzed to check if they are relevant to our society and life any further.

One could have an intellectual debate on this topic. If I am said "Don't do this way, do it that way" - the first thing that comes on my mind is who gave these rule-setters the authority to set these rules? Kids are curious most and they learn the most within their first 5 years. During these years, they have so many questions which are meaningful. How do parents handle them? Few times - maybe a simple lie because they feel the kid cannot understand the complexity, but many a time the lie is because adults themselves don't know the answers and find it impossible to tell the kids - "I don't know".

Why is it that they don't know answers to most questions? Its because someone, somewhere at some point in time set few rules in their best interest. Its been handed down and being followed religiously. Our ancestors were intelligent people. They had scientific reasoning behind everything. But somewhere in between, either they started being ignorant or plain dumb. In course, we lost track of why we did certain things in a certain way.

I have always believed there is no definite good or bad. As long as it brings no harm to others, and is appealing, agreeable and consensual to you and your folks. You are responsible for your own actions. No one to blame. You set your own rule, abide by it. So when this friend asked me my opinion, I really did not want to discuss. I sensed his views and it is his personal views. I respected whatever the view were and at the same time, did not want an accusing sort of debate.

As a human being first, I am glad that those people who are affected positively by the judgement can now save themselves from being tagged 'criminals'. They are definitely not a parasite to our society than the dirty bureaucrats and the corrupt politicians or the elite and 'shiny' ones who indulge in cheap and disgusting acts.

The straights would just turn more straighter :-P (I don't know what this means. Just hit it here. Awww..I guess it means nothing)

P.S : - Time for the winner of 'The CRACKLING story'. I choose Mano as he used GAGA - which was original and was not used in my post. :-)

P.P.S : Title and the content just don't go well. JLT!!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Sho(o)t at Love

I had my share of criticisms and compliments yesterday. A couple of them were obvious, but others - I am not sure if I need to take them as complements or criticisms

- I have a sweet voice.
- I am a workaholic.
- I am a good writer.
- I act smart(This was for refraining from commenting on legal status for Gays in India. More on this in my next post)
- I need to consult with a psychiatrist.

~ Confused ~


I was watching 10 PM news on one of the news channel. Guess what? Apart from El Nino effect and Monsoon delay, post budget discussions, MJ's funeral (I still cant believe that he is no more. Peace), there was one other news that was considered important enough for the country's growth, economy, for the people of India or whatever serious reasons you want to tag to.

Any wild guess? Hmm, it was about 'Rakhi Ka swayamwar". The short snippet showed Ms Rakhi spend some time with her suitors; trying to get to know them. The news reader gave an update about how each suitor impressed Rakhi. One of them wrote a poem for her(Rakhi told she didn't relate to that guy and that she doesn't know him!), another one brought a bouquet of flowers........What followed was that this respectable news channel did some snooping around on one of the contestant to figure out that he was a fake person and was not what he claimed to be on Rakhi's show. The snippet ended with the compere warning Rakhi

"Don't be hasty. Look out for false people"

It was beyond preposterous. A woman who is known for her sleazy acts and nonsensical viewpoints is hosting her own swayamwar and a news channel is reporting it on prime time!!!!

But it had to happen one day. But I am surprised that it happened too soon in India. Only that it was not 'outrageous' and kind of OK for Indian society. As soon as this Swayamwar saga was announced on TV, first thing that I recalled was an American reality dating show that was aired on MTV in the USA - "A shot at love with Tila Tequila". It was a bisexual themed show. This show premiered on October 2007 and its first season ended in early February 2008.

The contestants were 16 straight men and 16 lesbian women who lived in Tila Tequila's house competing for her attention and trying to woo her(She claimed she was bisexual)
The series was MTV's most watched telecasts of the season and every episode had a back-to-back 2 hours of continuous run and was aired twice a week.

I watched the whole of season 1 without missing a single episode. I was so curious at this bisexual theme and couldn't believe that a reality show was happening. The show had all its drama, bitching, back-biting, cheating. But what was amusing was the hostess seemed to have unconditional love that she shared with each contestant. She even visited parents and friends of the final 10 contestants, spent time with the family; as if it were all real, serious and the couple would be married anytime.

As each contestant was eliminated, there was this drama of feeling rejected, being cheated in love, depression and dejection that love of a life time was lost and all other absurd mushy emotional stuffs you can ever imagine. I still recall a male contestant when asked how he would let his family in Italy approve of a bisexual partner responded something like this - I would say them that she is very sweet and caring. She has so much of love that she wants to share it with both men and women.


Finally a guy was the winner and it seemed they never met after the final episode :-D. The show was called a sham; it had its season 2 run too. I did not have a chance to watch as I was out of USA by then.

So, I somehow feel 'Rakhi ka Swayamwar' will have season 1, 2,3......

Monday, July 6, 2009


Yesterday being Sunday, woke up pretty early at 7:30 AM when the alarm BUZZED. Early for a Sunday morning yeah. With tower of concretes everywhere, I no more have the luxurious wish of hearing the birds CHIRP and the cocks COO.

Sleepy eyed, I KNOCKED off the empty glass beside my table, it CLANKED as it touched the floor. I wobbled to the bathroom and SPLASHED some water on my face, as I heard the FLUSH in the toilet; BANGED on the door for my brother to get out.

As I walked out, my hair DRIPPING with water; after a bath, I heard the SIZZLE and the SPLATTER from the kitchen, along with the aroma of freshly prepared filter coffee and the WHOOT of the pressure cooker which was steaming idlies. The maid CLATTERED and CLANKED as she washed the dishes while the cat PURRED cozily on her bed.

Just then, my maid, as usual, CRASHED a porcelain cup much to the annoyance of all.

I gorged on the breakfast and went out to PAT the neighbor's dog while SLURPING the coffee; and the dog acknowledged 'WOOF!'
Planned to go out late afternoon. I ZIPPED up my bag while grabbing a tin of Coke. The drink FIZZLED as I opened and my mind changed. I didn't want to have Coke anymore. Left it on the dining table, picked up a wafer and MUNCHED it as I ZOOMED out.

The day was lovely and the leaves RUSTLED and the wind SWISHED. It seemed as if it would rain. I still wanted to venture out and thus made a move. As I walked on the road, a young man on a motorcycle sped and his tyres came to a SCREECHING halt when a kid tried crossing the road. The moment was scary and everyone froze. PHEW, nothing worse happened but the guy was hurt. He GROANED while the crowd let out a MOAN.

The guy MURMURED something and went away on his motor cycle; while the kid obviously scared WEPT. Her mother came running shocked, and let out a SIGH when she found her kid unharmed.

I went to meet a friend at her home. I was excited to meet her as we had not met for around 2 months. But she was WHISPERING as I talked to her and her home was HUSH-HUSH. HMM, it seems her sister had her exams. ARRGGHHH! wrong time - so much so that I was not able to savor the CRUNCHY potato chips offered. :-( The entire time I was there, the house was so silent that I felt the TICK TOCK of the clock so loud enough.

Managed to coax her to go shopping with me. On the way, saw a train CHUGGING along and going RUT...TUT...TUT...It was a goods train. Something made me happy. Anyways, we went to a mall and did window shopping. Its therapeutic you see. :-) The mall was decorated and had a holiday mood to beat the recession. As we walked, the bells over us TINKLED and CHIMED. As we window shopped, SHOUTS and CLAPS and the WHISTLES bemused us and we saw there was some contest being held. Participants had to blow the balloon and tie them up. Maximum number wins. As the contestant struggled, the balloons went BOOM and BANG and BUST.

We stepped out of the mall and witnessed some interesting scenes. A kid CHOMPING on a candy and rubbing her soiled hands on her clothes..... few young people posing for snaps as the camera went CLICK-CLICK....... a naughty kid SQUISHED a banana in his hands...YUCK.

We had fun for a while watching them and decided to get back home when it started raining. The rain went PITTER-PATTER and it turned heavy and water GUSHED onto the streets, over-flowing.................I thought it was not prudent to wait as it would pour more and RIPPED open my carry bag to get my umbrella out. ALAS, realized that we forgot to pick up the carry bag that we had left at one of the shop entrance!!!

HUH, frustrated, went back and got the bag and walked out. HMM, it turned out to be difficult task to get a rickshaw. Each one that was passing by was hired!!. BOO HOO, we prayed we get one.
And to top it all, as we stood waiting for the rickshaw, vehicles passing by SLOSHED dirty water all over. SOB...SOB...dresses ruined.

Just then, a saviour. an empty rickshaw. WOW! Happy happy. We got WHIRRED away to our destination.

Went home, helped mom CHOP vegetables for dinner. Watched some TV, was YAWNING away to glory by the time dinner was served.

WOOHHOOOO..what an uneventful day.

PS : These events did happen. I was really amazed by the frequent use of ONOMATOPOEIA in our language. We don't realize it :-)

All words in capitals in this post are onomatopoeic.

P.P.S : onomatopoeia are words that sound like the objects they name or the sounds those objects make. I and Gautam discussed about onomatopoeia prior to the day he went on a month long mountaineering course in Shimla. He would be WHOOSHING down the mountains :-P

NOTE : Comments with interesting usage of onomatopoeia gets a gift \:D/

Friday, July 3, 2009

3 years only.....

AS was asking me why there were no posts and I was told "Write something gal!"

I had hectic work schedule; as usual and I was sick too. So could not really take time to write. Amidst all these, I had a wedding to attend - wedding of an important person - my mentor's.

He was my guide when I first joined work; still a freshie; just out of college about 4 years back. I approached him for all my issues related to work, he was my guide, philosopher and friend. Eventually, I started discussing my personal issues too and he would be there to listen.

To vent out my anger, to crib, to complain, to irritate, to scold, the first number to dial would be his. I sort of; was his CASE STUDY as he would say to implement his psychological leanings.

I shared a good friendly relationship. He got busy in his new world once he got engaged about 3 months back. Few days before that, this is what he said as a parting thought when we met one day - "I may not be there, all the time"

It was few days later when he got engaged and I realized what he meant.

We are social beings, constantly looking out for compatible people with whom we can strike a chord, build a rapport. Its tough to find friends who can put up with you, share your sorrows and joys and encourage you and be there when you need them.

I was recalling all the friendships that I have had since my kindergarten. There was one thing that was common. I am generally a reserved person, and cant mingle easily. Most times, I have had just one friend to whom I would stick from dawn to dusk. If that friend is not present for some reason, then I could just skip my lunch and withdraw, for the very fact that I couldn't mingle easily.

These one friend at a time at various stages in my life have lasted for not more than 3 years. Surreal but true. Excited to find a friend with whom you can spend good and bad times, share joys and sorrows, bond, go on and suddenly drift away.

And why does it always happen after around 3 years? A friend in school left for another school after having spent 3 years, a friend in college just drifted away at the end of 3 year - due to misunderstanding. I regret it even today. A friend at my workplace moved away for his higher studies. There are a couple of other friends who drifted away - in search of new career, fresh life and so on....

The essence gradually fades away. Now its my mentor. I am in touch with all of these friends, I can still talk to my mentor but it will not be the same., i cant play around, crib, complain.... Things in life change, priority change, each one gets busier as the day passes.

So what I realized was shelf life of friendship in my life was 3 years....Tadaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

They remain friends forever, yet..............................................