My iPod is my savior in many situations. It helps me a lot during my commute - spared of hearing lewd comments and helps me be oblivious to my bumpy auto rickshaw ride. But...but one thing that my iPod is also helpless is in dealing with Horny India.
Yes, India is horny, Indians are horny. They are horny all times; right out in the middle of the road in full public view; any time of the day. Men and women are equally horny. You can see them incessantly blowing bugles - the horn. Peeeee!! Paaaah!!
Why do we blow horns all the time? At the signal when it is RED, at the traffic jam when the vehicles cant move an inch. Are we a group of insensitive, impatient folks? Few of the countries I have visited erased the notion from my mind that only developed countries had disciplined drivers. Hell! no!! It has nothing to do with economic situation of any country.
Is the driver honking assuming that his honks will turn the RED to GREEN eventually? Much like pressing the buttons on the lift panel will cruise you through! What if its bumper to bumper traffic, deadlocked situation, or just plain signal?
Horns are used in extreme situations; either to evade a possible accident; to attract attention; to vent out frustration that results to due to a fellow driver breaking some driving etiquette. Look at us! We cant think of a traffic without horns. A silent drive is a crime. A perfectly empty road; not even a stray dog; and still you have your thumb pressed on the horn and it blares!
Which makes me wonder for whom is the horn for? There is no one on the road. For the plants and the trees? I have read that talking to plants helps them grow healthy. So if talking helps them grow, honking will help them sustain for a longer time is it? Go Green eh? Or is it for the driver himself? Self motivating mantra? Maybe! the driver is trying to get in touch with his/her inner self. Ummm...
No! there should be some other secretive rationale behind this! We Indians dont do anything without a reason, no? There should be something behind it? Is the horn supplying the much needed Green energy to propel the engine forward? I would pursue this search.
HORNY Power did I say?
Showing posts with label Etiquettes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Etiquettes. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Friday, December 24, 2010
Prayer?
My eyes put up a valiant fight with me; trying harder to not get
bogged down by my mind's signals to open. It was this morning. Deep in
slumber, waken up by chatters; medley of chaotic noises of various
frequency. My eyes finally gave in; I fumbled and got hold of my phone to check the time. It was 5:45 AM. Thats the time devils go for
leisurely walk; at least for me. I am not an early riser. No, not at any
cost.
It took me some time to figure out that those chaotic noise were rhythmic chants of devotional songs and drums. A group of devotional people chanting hymns in God's praise. No sorry, though I was still dreamy eyed and sleepy; I remember it was not one God they were singing the praise of. Innumerable Gods, He God and She God, they were fair enough not to let any God out of their chants; lest offend any one of the innumerable Gods we have.
They probably woke up the entire neighborhood. For a change it wasnt the howling of the dogs or the vroooooom of those silencer-less 2 wheelers doing a wheely . This episode is a very trivial one which just prompted me to write about this; certainly only a trigger point. I have witnessed more torture; this was such a sober one. Just beside my house where I previously resided was a temple; they had "Jagran" everyday for one reason or the other. A cacophony of devotional songs and chants blaring out on the loudspeakers. I wonder if the audience present there were really interested! Of course the peacefully sleeping mortals and those poor animals on the roads elsewhere were least interested either..Nay! not even the Gods.
Now if I want to celebrate or perform religious activities, why force others to indulge in this activity; willingly or unwillingly? Celebrating the spirit eh? What I find amusing are the jarring combination of devotional songs being played alternatively along songs as "Beedi jalaile" or the latest "Sheila ki jawani" and "Munni badnam hui" . This orchestra comes complete with an all night active music jockey; playing songs one after the other to please the Gods; much to the displeasure of the ghosts and spirits that take a leisurely walk at that time.
Why is this impudent callousness? Do they really need to use loudspeakers? Why is there no consideration for the sick? the old? the animals? the infants? the weak? the tired? and of course people of other faiths? This tastelessly clamorous activity starts when everyone else wants to go to sleep; and gets louder and louder as the night progresses. Rejoice, appease the Gods, but please have a bit of consideration for others. You certainly cant appease the Gods by displeasing your fellow beings.
It took me some time to figure out that those chaotic noise were rhythmic chants of devotional songs and drums. A group of devotional people chanting hymns in God's praise. No sorry, though I was still dreamy eyed and sleepy; I remember it was not one God they were singing the praise of. Innumerable Gods, He God and She God, they were fair enough not to let any God out of their chants; lest offend any one of the innumerable Gods we have.
They probably woke up the entire neighborhood. For a change it wasnt the howling of the dogs or the vroooooom of those silencer-less 2 wheelers doing a wheely . This episode is a very trivial one which just prompted me to write about this; certainly only a trigger point. I have witnessed more torture; this was such a sober one. Just beside my house where I previously resided was a temple; they had "Jagran" everyday for one reason or the other. A cacophony of devotional songs and chants blaring out on the loudspeakers. I wonder if the audience present there were really interested! Of course the peacefully sleeping mortals and those poor animals on the roads elsewhere were least interested either..Nay! not even the Gods.
Now if I want to celebrate or perform religious activities, why force others to indulge in this activity; willingly or unwillingly? Celebrating the spirit eh? What I find amusing are the jarring combination of devotional songs being played alternatively along songs as "Beedi jalaile" or the latest "Sheila ki jawani" and "Munni badnam hui" . This orchestra comes complete with an all night active music jockey; playing songs one after the other to please the Gods; much to the displeasure of the ghosts and spirits that take a leisurely walk at that time.
Why is this impudent callousness? Do they really need to use loudspeakers? Why is there no consideration for the sick? the old? the animals? the infants? the weak? the tired? and of course people of other faiths? This tastelessly clamorous activity starts when everyone else wants to go to sleep; and gets louder and louder as the night progresses. Rejoice, appease the Gods, but please have a bit of consideration for others. You certainly cant appease the Gods by displeasing your fellow beings.
Merry Christmas; wish Santa Claus sends his elves to bestow each one with gifts :)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Please to meet you
Last week, I had a discussion with my senior director at work. He is an American, he greeted me with a Hello and we shook hands. The grasp was firm, neither lousy nor crushing; and it was neither a blip nor a drag.
OK! The discussion went fine. Once I got back to my place, my mind started recollecting some of my handshake moments. Oh! not those moments when I won accolades all the time but those moments when I felt miserable. Ouch!! or Awww!! types.
As a kid, each one of us would have won some prize or the other. Be it for academics, sports, extra curricular or cultural activities. And it required you to walk on the dais and collect the prize from guest of honor. The earliest I could remember is when I was in Upper Kindergarten. I collected prize from a guest of honor; he offered to shake hands. I still recall his hands were so huge and me with a teeny-weeny hand could only grasp his index finger.
Hmm but why shake hands? Why not legs? Errr....:-P I know!! Handshaking was practiced in Greece as early as 4th century B.C - History of Handshake. To think of it. why would they have initiated a handshake? Hmm, to prevent the stranger who they are meeting from attacking? The best way to prevent a stranger from clobbering would be to hold his hand firmly? Never know!!
Anyway here are few handshakes that I have experienced and I am going to categorize them. Yup!! there ARE different types of handshakes and unique set of practitioners.
The Crusher Shake - Those types which you dread. The sadistic types, when the person crushes your palm like a nutcracker cracking your knuckles. Your fingers are crushed with a vicious grip; and all the while you have put up a wide grin. Grin on your face, tears ready to flow down...what a pity! Your palm is minced like a pulp and you wince with pain but with a wider grin :-P Worth an Oscar for putting up this normal behavior.
The Frenzy Shake - Very similar to the crusher. But the intensity ebbs and lows as the excitement of the person shaking your hand varies. The most effervescent the mood is, the more effusive the handshake would be. Your digits wilt under the grip; aah this is like being in a boot camp.Your wrists take the toll due to vigorous shaking and swirling.
The Superficial Shake - Such shakes leave you perturbed. Was I supposed to forward my palm? Did I do a mistake? Oh!! how embarrassing. These shallow ones are so flimsy that you do end up feeling awkward. I remember one of my teacher at school wished me for my birthday and when I forwarded my hand, she hardly grasped my hand. Maybe her school never taught her handshake etiquette!! Oh but she studied in the same school :-S
The Wrenched Shake - You want to loosen your elbow and shoulder joints? Go shake hands with this group. They would twist and turn you arm so much that your nuts and bolts at the joints would need tightening. And not to forget the aches.
The Clinger Shake - You are in a pitiful situation here. The hand shake done, you get into conversation and your hand is still clasped onto. Your palm gets sweaty, it blends with the other guy's sweat and creates a thin film around each others palm. Yet, the clinger just clings on and on, never letting it go!!. Either you try to unclasp in an artful way or enjoy the massage your palm gets in the process :-)
The Soft Shake - From the ladies of course. This would be the soft, delicate and dainty one. They bring the guys into the line :-P
The Misfired Shake - Your hands and the his hands don't come together; yet both stick them out and it doesn't sync. Hurriedly, you pull it off together but nevertheless its not done!!
Do you folks have any more to add to this list? Please be free to shake hands with me!! :-)
OK! The discussion went fine. Once I got back to my place, my mind started recollecting some of my handshake moments. Oh! not those moments when I won accolades all the time but those moments when I felt miserable. Ouch!! or Awww!! types.
As a kid, each one of us would have won some prize or the other. Be it for academics, sports, extra curricular or cultural activities. And it required you to walk on the dais and collect the prize from guest of honor. The earliest I could remember is when I was in Upper Kindergarten. I collected prize from a guest of honor; he offered to shake hands. I still recall his hands were so huge and me with a teeny-weeny hand could only grasp his index finger.
Anyway here are few handshakes that I have experienced and I am going to categorize them. Yup!! there ARE different types of handshakes and unique set of practitioners.
The Crusher Shake - Those types which you dread. The sadistic types, when the person crushes your palm like a nutcracker cracking your knuckles. Your fingers are crushed with a vicious grip; and all the while you have put up a wide grin. Grin on your face, tears ready to flow down...what a pity! Your palm is minced like a pulp and you wince with pain but with a wider grin :-P Worth an Oscar for putting up this normal behavior.
The Frenzy Shake - Very similar to the crusher. But the intensity ebbs and lows as the excitement of the person shaking your hand varies. The most effervescent the mood is, the more effusive the handshake would be. Your digits wilt under the grip; aah this is like being in a boot camp.Your wrists take the toll due to vigorous shaking and swirling.
The Superficial Shake - Such shakes leave you perturbed. Was I supposed to forward my palm? Did I do a mistake? Oh!! how embarrassing. These shallow ones are so flimsy that you do end up feeling awkward. I remember one of my teacher at school wished me for my birthday and when I forwarded my hand, she hardly grasped my hand. Maybe her school never taught her handshake etiquette!! Oh but she studied in the same school :-S
The Misfired Shake - Your hands and the his hands don't come together; yet both stick them out and it doesn't sync. Hurriedly, you pull it off together but nevertheless its not done!!
Do you folks have any more to add to this list? Please be free to shake hands with me!! :-)
Monday, December 21, 2009
Punctual?
Well, are you guilty? Yes you are!!! I see it, I see it :-P
Haven't each of us sheepishly given awkward excuses for being late? Running into the meeting room and awkwardly searching for an empty seat to accommodate yourself and coyly apologizing when there are about 12 pairs of eyes staring at you and sizing you up? Swearing at the teacher for being made to run 3 rounds around the school ground for arriving late for the assembly session? Blaming your sandals for showing up late when your boy friend has been waiting for what seemed like ages?
I always had an excuse while at school. "Ma'am bus was late". :-S Only to be retorted back with a sharp "You are supposed to take an early bus"
Or the rather stupid "Uh..I don't know. I was sleeping when my alarm went off"
Being punctual is paramount elsewhere; but here. A person who is late is treated with such disgusted frowns that he would want to hang himself upside down!!! Is it that you had more important and critical work and we are all fools sitting here with all the time of the world? - is the common thought.
But what if nature calls?? Hmmm...... in a fix huh? One of my friend just gave this excuse for being late to the lab session. The lecturer was red-faced.
Talking about punctuality, why do most of us lack it? Isn't it a quality as important as standing first academically in school? But when things as studies are taken so seriously, why not punctuality? We did frown when we were reprimanded for being late to school; didn't we? Did we learn to be on time after that? No!! We repeated being late. Being late for school, for morning basics, for meeting friends......
That's because the importance of this quality was not imbibed. Did we ever think that being on time is respecting other's time? Owning responsibility? No...rather we give lame excuses as if we had better and more important chore than the others.
There are few others who are super punctual; so punctual that they feel uncomfortable on arriving early. These people don't like to keep things pending; always up to date to finish tasks. It is a good trait but is it a sign of anxiousness? Maybe it is few times; when trying to not keep anything pending for fear of lags.
And yeah, not to forget. It does land us in awkward situations sometimes. Arriving early to a birthday party? Errr.....isn't it as if the person has come to grab a few extra drinks?
I have had experiences of arriving on dot to marriage reception. But that would be when the bride and groom are getting dressed!! By the time they are ready; my clothes are ruffled, my hairs frizzy and my patience gone to hell.
There's a very famous quote on punctuality by Franklin P Hones
How true!!!
But......
Haven't each of us sheepishly given awkward excuses for being late? Running into the meeting room and awkwardly searching for an empty seat to accommodate yourself and coyly apologizing when there are about 12 pairs of eyes staring at you and sizing you up? Swearing at the teacher for being made to run 3 rounds around the school ground for arriving late for the assembly session? Blaming your sandals for showing up late when your boy friend has been waiting for what seemed like ages?
I always had an excuse while at school. "Ma'am bus was late". :-S Only to be retorted back with a sharp "You are supposed to take an early bus"
Or the rather stupid "Uh..I don't know. I was sleeping when my alarm went off"
Being punctual is paramount elsewhere; but here. A person who is late is treated with such disgusted frowns that he would want to hang himself upside down!!! Is it that you had more important and critical work and we are all fools sitting here with all the time of the world? - is the common thought.
But what if nature calls?? Hmmm...... in a fix huh? One of my friend just gave this excuse for being late to the lab session. The lecturer was red-faced.
Talking about punctuality, why do most of us lack it? Isn't it a quality as important as standing first academically in school? But when things as studies are taken so seriously, why not punctuality? We did frown when we were reprimanded for being late to school; didn't we? Did we learn to be on time after that? No!! We repeated being late. Being late for school, for morning basics, for meeting friends......
That's because the importance of this quality was not imbibed. Did we ever think that being on time is respecting other's time? Owning responsibility? No...rather we give lame excuses as if we had better and more important chore than the others.
There are few others who are super punctual; so punctual that they feel uncomfortable on arriving early. These people don't like to keep things pending; always up to date to finish tasks. It is a good trait but is it a sign of anxiousness? Maybe it is few times; when trying to not keep anything pending for fear of lags.
And yeah, not to forget. It does land us in awkward situations sometimes. Arriving early to a birthday party? Errr.....isn't it as if the person has come to grab a few extra drinks?
I have had experiences of arriving on dot to marriage reception. But that would be when the bride and groom are getting dressed!! By the time they are ready; my clothes are ruffled, my hairs frizzy and my patience gone to hell.
There's a very famous quote on punctuality by Franklin P Hones
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.”
How true!!!
But......
Friday, November 6, 2009
Taking a Lift?
Warning to SG, Gautam, Neha and AS. You have already read this post. I am re-posting it; becuase I am too busy to be writing anything new; and I genuinely feel there's no harm reading it second time; and above all, I want as many people to read this and enjoy!!
So go ahead :-)
Call them lifts or elevators; we cant do without them in our daily lives. Office lifts have rich tales to tell, only if they had the ability to yell!
Alas! NO.
An office goer would use the lifts at least 4 times a day. The lifts are silent spectators of human embarrassment and an apt place for research on human behaviors. How does one initiate a conversation with someone who is going to share that tiny space with you for not more than 1 minute? How do you stand in the tiny confinement of cramped space and yet not invade the private space of others? How do you develop the art of staring into space?
Most people would prefer to have the lift all by themselves. Yeah me too! I revel in excitement when I get into a lift and there's no one around. I can make a phone call and talk loud. I can look at my reflection on the polished walls of the lift and make sure I am presentable. I can relax, lean against the wall....hum my favorite tune, take the entire space and practice dance moves, curse someone.....
Image from http://www.savagechickens.com/tag/elevator
But that's not the case always. More often than not; we happen to share this cramped heavenly space with number of others. Lift experiences have always been annoying to me.
Most of us would have been part of few of the annoying situations more often - either by being the VICTIM or the CULPRIT. Lets find that out.
1. People tend to shout loud speaking on the phone while on the lift. Yelling improves the network signal, is it? Why are they not considerate enough to hold the call unless they leave the lift.
2. Another obsessive attitude of folks is to stand right in front of the control panel even when the lift is empty! What are you trying to do? Its understandable if the lift is crowded and you would want to stay as away as possible. That's the proper etiquette; but protecting the panel such that no one else can use it.....argh!!
3. I would like to occupy any one of the four corners of the lift space to let people come in and go out of the lift with ease. If the corners by chance are the front ones, it doesn't mean I AM THE LIFT OPERATOR!. I would definitely offer to press the buttons and hold the floor. But no, I ain't getting paid for it Mr. Where has the courtesy of "Please" and "Thank you" gone when one offers to press the buttons?
Image from www.cartoonstock.com
4. Its coldly amusing to be confronted by people just right in front of the lift door as it opens. They want to rush inside the lift even before the people trying to get out of the lift. Its a feeling of getting slapped hard on your cheeks. Guys! wake up. The lift is all yours but only for 60 seconds. Why do you barge in? Whats in store? Nothing interesting, just few boring and frustrated folks. Likewise, don't ever assume people have supernatural powers to pass through you to exit the lift if you hijack the only exit available.
5. Conversing aloud when inside the lift. Its so annoying to hear people complain about their work and their bosses in the lifts. Keep your drudgery conversations to yourself guys.
6. LADIES! LADIES! Its not your rest room to give yourself a makeover, highlight hair and clean your nails! Its very embarrassing for others who is on the lift with you. And please no.. no.. no.. gossips. Get that...huh?
Image from http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/s/stressful_working_gifts.asp
7. What do you call people who get a sadistic pleasure out of pressing all the buttons on the control panel just before they get out at the ground floor? The lift stops at each floor, 10 seconds to open the door, 30 seconds waiting and 10 seconds to close the door and start all over again.....
8. The lift is full, why do you want to try squeezing in and delay others?
9. If your office is in 1st or 2nd floor, whats the harm in taking stairs? People using the lift to travel less than 3 floors must be PROSECUTED!
10. Another thing that could drive you barmy is when someone holds the lift and the whole bunch of folks doing a ramp walk to get in. Least considerations to people already in the lift. Or when someone holds the lift and has a conversation with a person outside the lift not wishing to get in. What the heck! Disembark! Finish off your lovely CHANGE THE WORLD conversation , there's always the next lift..
11. Pressing the lift button continuously does not speed up the lift to go faster. Yet, people tend to do it. the lift is no Cow or Horse, lash it out and it runs faster buddy!
12. The DISGUSTING of them all...Breaking wind! Please don't do it. Don't even try it silently. Your face will give away.
Image from http://www.savagechickens.com/tag/elevator
13. THE FATHER OF ALL PUNISHABLE OFFENCE
You are on the lift, you are about to close the lift and notice someone running for the lift, please be kind enough to hold the door so that they can get in. This exact thing happened to me last week. A lady was on a lift, she saw me running towards the lift and phut! she pressed the button and the door slammed shut on my face. She looked exalted and in high spirits with her success as if she was on a high after guzzling down a couple of beers!. I wanted to punch on her lovely face!
Image from http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/e/elevator_doors.asp
Folks, I tell you there is nothing worse than seeing the lift open as one tries to get in and the lift door slams shut in the face. At least try to put up a sorry sad face and not an amused one!
Hoping for better experiences...
And yes, before signing off, the most stupid question people ask...
IS IT GOING UP/DOWN?
People, look at the panel; which direction is the arrow blinking? Why do you waste 10 seconds of my precious time?
So go ahead :-)
Call them lifts or elevators; we cant do without them in our daily lives. Office lifts have rich tales to tell, only if they had the ability to yell!
Alas! NO.
An office goer would use the lifts at least 4 times a day. The lifts are silent spectators of human embarrassment and an apt place for research on human behaviors. How does one initiate a conversation with someone who is going to share that tiny space with you for not more than 1 minute? How do you stand in the tiny confinement of cramped space and yet not invade the private space of others? How do you develop the art of staring into space?
Most people would prefer to have the lift all by themselves. Yeah me too! I revel in excitement when I get into a lift and there's no one around. I can make a phone call and talk loud. I can look at my reflection on the polished walls of the lift and make sure I am presentable. I can relax, lean against the wall....hum my favorite tune, take the entire space and practice dance moves, curse someone.....
Image from http://www.savagechickens.com/tag/elevatorBut that's not the case always. More often than not; we happen to share this cramped heavenly space with number of others. Lift experiences have always been annoying to me.
Most of us would have been part of few of the annoying situations more often - either by being the VICTIM or the CULPRIT. Lets find that out.
1. People tend to shout loud speaking on the phone while on the lift. Yelling improves the network signal, is it? Why are they not considerate enough to hold the call unless they leave the lift.
2. Another obsessive attitude of folks is to stand right in front of the control panel even when the lift is empty! What are you trying to do? Its understandable if the lift is crowded and you would want to stay as away as possible. That's the proper etiquette; but protecting the panel such that no one else can use it.....argh!!
3. I would like to occupy any one of the four corners of the lift space to let people come in and go out of the lift with ease. If the corners by chance are the front ones, it doesn't mean I AM THE LIFT OPERATOR!. I would definitely offer to press the buttons and hold the floor. But no, I ain't getting paid for it Mr. Where has the courtesy of "Please" and "Thank you" gone when one offers to press the buttons?
Image from www.cartoonstock.com4. Its coldly amusing to be confronted by people just right in front of the lift door as it opens. They want to rush inside the lift even before the people trying to get out of the lift. Its a feeling of getting slapped hard on your cheeks. Guys! wake up. The lift is all yours but only for 60 seconds. Why do you barge in? Whats in store? Nothing interesting, just few boring and frustrated folks. Likewise, don't ever assume people have supernatural powers to pass through you to exit the lift if you hijack the only exit available.
5. Conversing aloud when inside the lift. Its so annoying to hear people complain about their work and their bosses in the lifts. Keep your drudgery conversations to yourself guys.
6. LADIES! LADIES! Its not your rest room to give yourself a makeover, highlight hair and clean your nails! Its very embarrassing for others who is on the lift with you. And please no.. no.. no.. gossips. Get that...huh?
Image from http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/s/stressful_working_gifts.asp7. What do you call people who get a sadistic pleasure out of pressing all the buttons on the control panel just before they get out at the ground floor? The lift stops at each floor, 10 seconds to open the door, 30 seconds waiting and 10 seconds to close the door and start all over again.....
8. The lift is full, why do you want to try squeezing in and delay others?
9. If your office is in 1st or 2nd floor, whats the harm in taking stairs? People using the lift to travel less than 3 floors must be PROSECUTED!
10. Another thing that could drive you barmy is when someone holds the lift and the whole bunch of folks doing a ramp walk to get in. Least considerations to people already in the lift. Or when someone holds the lift and has a conversation with a person outside the lift not wishing to get in. What the heck! Disembark! Finish off your lovely CHANGE THE WORLD conversation , there's always the next lift..
11. Pressing the lift button continuously does not speed up the lift to go faster. Yet, people tend to do it. the lift is no Cow or Horse, lash it out and it runs faster buddy!
12. The DISGUSTING of them all...Breaking wind! Please don't do it. Don't even try it silently. Your face will give away.
Image from http://www.savagechickens.com/tag/elevator13. THE FATHER OF ALL PUNISHABLE OFFENCE
You are on the lift, you are about to close the lift and notice someone running for the lift, please be kind enough to hold the door so that they can get in. This exact thing happened to me last week. A lady was on a lift, she saw me running towards the lift and phut! she pressed the button and the door slammed shut on my face. She looked exalted and in high spirits with her success as if she was on a high after guzzling down a couple of beers!. I wanted to punch on her lovely face!
Image from http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/e/elevator_doors.aspFolks, I tell you there is nothing worse than seeing the lift open as one tries to get in and the lift door slams shut in the face. At least try to put up a sorry sad face and not an amused one!
Hoping for better experiences...
And yes, before signing off, the most stupid question people ask...
IS IT GOING UP/DOWN?
People, look at the panel; which direction is the arrow blinking? Why do you waste 10 seconds of my precious time?
Monday, May 4, 2009
F7 anyone?
The triip was varyy intersinf...
This is how a sentence would be if there were no Spell Check feature. But there's cons attached to any stuff you take right? This spell check sometimes beats you up dead.
Official mails which are copied to important people, and you are careful to choose right words, and do a thorough check to make sure everything is correct.
You use this deadly tool; which is supposed to correct your spelling errors but in turn turns the table. You become a laughing stock. Few mails here just to prove that.
An engineer had to send a reminder mail to his team mates reminding them of the team meeting. So after composing and spell check, this is what we got to read -
"Mating starts in 5 minutes in 4th floor conference room"
Spell check of the line "The ESX issue is still pending" suggested thus
"The SEX issue is still pending"
By the way, for the uninitiated; ESX is an enterprise-level virtualization product offered by VMware, Inc.
Another blunder that we laughed out loud was a mail from a colleague. It was to suggest we can sit around and discuss; which when we received was thus -
"We can shit around and discuss....."
I am not sure if this was a result of spell check or human error.
So next time after your F7 and before clicking the "Send" button, make double sure if the spellings are what you really want it to be.
This is how a sentence would be if there were no Spell Check feature. But there's cons attached to any stuff you take right? This spell check sometimes beats you up dead.
Official mails which are copied to important people, and you are careful to choose right words, and do a thorough check to make sure everything is correct.
You use this deadly tool; which is supposed to correct your spelling errors but in turn turns the table. You become a laughing stock. Few mails here just to prove that.
An engineer had to send a reminder mail to his team mates reminding them of the team meeting. So after composing and spell check, this is what we got to read -
"Mating starts in 5 minutes in 4th floor conference room"
Spell check of the line "The ESX issue is still pending" suggested thus
"The SEX issue is still pending"
By the way, for the uninitiated; ESX is an enterprise-level virtualization product offered by VMware, Inc.
Another blunder that we laughed out loud was a mail from a colleague. It was to suggest we can sit around and discuss; which when we received was thus -
"We can shit around and discuss....."
I am not sure if this was a result of spell check or human error.
So next time after your F7 and before clicking the "Send" button, make double sure if the spellings are what you really want it to be.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Taking the Lift? Hop on to some annoyance
Call them lifts or elevators; we cant do without them in our daily lives. Office lifts have rich tales to tell, only if they had the ability to yell!
Alas! NO.
An office goer would use the lifts at least 4 times a day. The lifts are silent spectators of human embarrassment and an apt place for research on human behaviors. How does one initiate a conversation with someone who is going to share that tiny space with you for not more than 1 minute? How do you stand in the tiny confinement of cramped space and yet not invade the private space of others? How do you develop the art of staring into space?
Most people would prefer to have the lift all by themselves. Yeah me too! I revel in excitement when I get into a lift and there's no one around. I can make a phone call and talk loud. I can look at my reflection on the polished walls of the lift and make sure I am presentable. I can relax, lean against the wall....hum my favorite tune, take the entire space and practice dance moves, curse someone.....
Image from http://www.savagechickens.com/tag/elevator
But that's not the case always. More often than not; we happen to share this cramped heavenly space with number of others. Lift experiences have always been annoying to me.
Most of us would have been part of few of the annoying situations more often - either by being the VICTIM or the CULPRIT. Lets find that out.
1. People tend to shout loud speaking on the phone while on the lift. Yelling improves the network signal, is it? Why are they not considerate enough to hold the call unless they leave the lift.
2. Another obsessive attitude of folks is to stand right in front of the control panel even when the lift is empty! What are you trying to do? Its understandable if the lift is crowded and you would want to stay as away as possible. That's the proper etiquette; but protecting the panel such that no one else can use it.....argh!!
3. I would like to occupy any one of the four corners of the lift space to let people come in and go out of the lift with ease. If the corners by chance are the front ones, it doesn't mean I AM THE LIFT OPERATOR!. I would definitely offer to press the buttons and hold the floor. But no, I ain't getting paid for it Mr. Where has the courtesy of "Please" and "Thank you" gone when one offers to press the buttons?
Image from www.cartoonstock.com
4. Its coldly amusing to be confronted by people just right in front of the lift door as it opens. They want to rush inside the lift even before the people trying to get out of the lift. Its a feeling of getting slapped hard on your cheeks. Guys! wake up. The lift is all yours but only for 60 seconds. Why do you barge in? Whats in store? Nothing interesting, just few boring and frustrated folks. Likewise, don't ever assume people have supernatural powers to pass through you to exit the lift if you hijack the only exit available.
5. Conversing aloud when inside the lift. Its so annoying to hear people complain about their work and their bosses in the lifts. Keep your drudgery conversations to yourself guys.
6. LADIES! LADIES! Its not your rest room to give yourself a makeover, highlight hair and clean your nails! Its very embarrassing for others who is on the lift with you. And please no.. no.. no.. gossips. Get that...huh?
Image from http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/s/stressful_working_gifts.asp
7. What do you call people who get a sadistic pleasure out of pressing all the buttons on the control panel just before they get out at the ground floor? The lift stops at each floor, 10 seconds to open the door, 30 seconds waiting and 10 seconds to close the door and start all over again.....
8. The lift is full, why do you want to try squeezing in and delay others?
9. If your office is in 1st or 2nd floor, whats the harm in taking stairs? People using the lift to travel less than 3 floors must be PROSECUTED!
10. Another thing that could drive you barmy is when someone holds the lift and the whole bunch of folks doing a ramp walk to get in. Least considerations to people already in the lift. Or when someone holds the lift and has a conversation with a person outside the lift not wishing to get in. What the heck! Disembark! Finish off your lovely CHANGE THE WORLD conversation , there's always the next lift..
11. Pressing the lift button continuously does not speed up the lift to go faster. Yet, people tend to do it. the lift is no Cow or Horse, lash it out and it runs faster buddy!
12. The DISGUSTING of them all...Breaking wind! Please don't do it. Don't even try it silently. Your face will give away.
Image from http://www.savagechickens.com/tag/elevator
13. THE FATHER OF ALL PUNISHABLE OFFENCE
You are on the lift, you are about to close the lift and notice someone running for the lift, please be kind enough to hold the door so that they can get in. This exact thing happened to me last week. A lady was on a lift, she saw me running towards the lift and phut! she pressed the button and the door slammed shut on my face. She looked exalted and in high spirits with her success as if she was on a high after guzzling down a couple of beers!. I wanted to punch on her lovely face!
Image from http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/e/elevator_doors.asp
Folks, I tell you there is nothing worse than seeing the lift open as one tries to get in and the lift door slams shut in the face. At least try to put up a sorry sad face and not an amused one!
Hoping for better experiences...
And yes, before signing off, the most stupid question people ask...
IS IT GOING UP/DOWN?
People, look at the panel; which direction is the arrow blinking? Why do you waste 10 seconds of my precious time?
Alas! NO.
An office goer would use the lifts at least 4 times a day. The lifts are silent spectators of human embarrassment and an apt place for research on human behaviors. How does one initiate a conversation with someone who is going to share that tiny space with you for not more than 1 minute? How do you stand in the tiny confinement of cramped space and yet not invade the private space of others? How do you develop the art of staring into space?
Most people would prefer to have the lift all by themselves. Yeah me too! I revel in excitement when I get into a lift and there's no one around. I can make a phone call and talk loud. I can look at my reflection on the polished walls of the lift and make sure I am presentable. I can relax, lean against the wall....hum my favorite tune, take the entire space and practice dance moves, curse someone.....
Image from http://www.savagechickens.com/tag/elevatorBut that's not the case always. More often than not; we happen to share this cramped heavenly space with number of others. Lift experiences have always been annoying to me.
Most of us would have been part of few of the annoying situations more often - either by being the VICTIM or the CULPRIT. Lets find that out.
1. People tend to shout loud speaking on the phone while on the lift. Yelling improves the network signal, is it? Why are they not considerate enough to hold the call unless they leave the lift.
2. Another obsessive attitude of folks is to stand right in front of the control panel even when the lift is empty! What are you trying to do? Its understandable if the lift is crowded and you would want to stay as away as possible. That's the proper etiquette; but protecting the panel such that no one else can use it.....argh!!
3. I would like to occupy any one of the four corners of the lift space to let people come in and go out of the lift with ease. If the corners by chance are the front ones, it doesn't mean I AM THE LIFT OPERATOR!. I would definitely offer to press the buttons and hold the floor. But no, I ain't getting paid for it Mr. Where has the courtesy of "Please" and "Thank you" gone when one offers to press the buttons?
Image from www.cartoonstock.com4. Its coldly amusing to be confronted by people just right in front of the lift door as it opens. They want to rush inside the lift even before the people trying to get out of the lift. Its a feeling of getting slapped hard on your cheeks. Guys! wake up. The lift is all yours but only for 60 seconds. Why do you barge in? Whats in store? Nothing interesting, just few boring and frustrated folks. Likewise, don't ever assume people have supernatural powers to pass through you to exit the lift if you hijack the only exit available.
5. Conversing aloud when inside the lift. Its so annoying to hear people complain about their work and their bosses in the lifts. Keep your drudgery conversations to yourself guys.
6. LADIES! LADIES! Its not your rest room to give yourself a makeover, highlight hair and clean your nails! Its very embarrassing for others who is on the lift with you. And please no.. no.. no.. gossips. Get that...huh?
Image from http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/s/stressful_working_gifts.asp7. What do you call people who get a sadistic pleasure out of pressing all the buttons on the control panel just before they get out at the ground floor? The lift stops at each floor, 10 seconds to open the door, 30 seconds waiting and 10 seconds to close the door and start all over again.....
8. The lift is full, why do you want to try squeezing in and delay others?
9. If your office is in 1st or 2nd floor, whats the harm in taking stairs? People using the lift to travel less than 3 floors must be PROSECUTED!
10. Another thing that could drive you barmy is when someone holds the lift and the whole bunch of folks doing a ramp walk to get in. Least considerations to people already in the lift. Or when someone holds the lift and has a conversation with a person outside the lift not wishing to get in. What the heck! Disembark! Finish off your lovely CHANGE THE WORLD conversation , there's always the next lift..
11. Pressing the lift button continuously does not speed up the lift to go faster. Yet, people tend to do it. the lift is no Cow or Horse, lash it out and it runs faster buddy!
12. The DISGUSTING of them all...Breaking wind! Please don't do it. Don't even try it silently. Your face will give away.
Image from http://www.savagechickens.com/tag/elevator13. THE FATHER OF ALL PUNISHABLE OFFENCE
You are on the lift, you are about to close the lift and notice someone running for the lift, please be kind enough to hold the door so that they can get in. This exact thing happened to me last week. A lady was on a lift, she saw me running towards the lift and phut! she pressed the button and the door slammed shut on my face. She looked exalted and in high spirits with her success as if she was on a high after guzzling down a couple of beers!. I wanted to punch on her lovely face!
Image from http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/e/elevator_doors.aspFolks, I tell you there is nothing worse than seeing the lift open as one tries to get in and the lift door slams shut in the face. At least try to put up a sorry sad face and not an amused one!
Hoping for better experiences...
And yes, before signing off, the most stupid question people ask...
IS IT GOING UP/DOWN?
People, look at the panel; which direction is the arrow blinking? Why do you waste 10 seconds of my precious time?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Simple irritations in life.......Jumping the Queue!
They say your immense joy comes from simpler things in life like daydreaming, rolling on the grass, sharing your ice cream....
Yes of course, these are the ones that help us discover ourselves.
But have you realized that there are simpler things in life that could petrify you to the core? WE encounter such situations each day as we go about our daily chores, meet different people, and it happens at the common places and common situations. These irritable situations leave us red-faced, angry, yet we keep moving accepting it in our stride.
A classic situation. Jumping the Queue - while boarding the bus, at the pantry, waiting to get into the restroom, at the bank ATM, while shopping......
Image from http://ww1.cpa-apc.org:8080/Publications/Archives/CJP/2004/december/smolla.asp
The Queue-jumping folks have their own justification for doing so. Their excuses lame enough to earn the wrath of others. The most heard one is "I have an emergency. Can I please go ahead of you?" These justifications makes others wonder their worth! Am I so clear with no emergency? Is my time not precious?
I get angry lot when someone jumps the queue. One such incident occurred yesterday at the pantry while I was patiently waiting my turn to refill my coffee mug, a person just barges in, overtakes me and fills his cup!! What the heck! Am i insane to be standing there holding my coffee mug? Or am I jobless that I CAN wait for a couple more minutes? A similar one happened sometime ago. It was lunch time and I was waiting near the oven to heat my food. A very respected senior person from our organization just walked, over-took me and heated his food. All this while, I had to patiently wait. He didn't even realize his mistake!
What happened to conduct and manners? Are those dirty words now? Or is this what is called as being smart? The most sad part is at the public restrooms. People just walk by and jump the queue. What about so many folks behind you patiently waiting?
The phenomenon of jumping the line is not limited to a section of people and does not depend on their education and other sophistication but their values and virtues. It does not happen at all places. There have been two instances where in I jumped the queue unaware of the queue being there. It happened once at a souvenir shop in New York city. The crowd was large that I missed the queue. I thought the counter was free, and what I had to take was an ugly look from the cashier, and a stern but polite dismissal. I was so ashamed and I apologized profusely; for being so ignorant. The whole passed with my guilt engulfing me throughout.
How much does it take to wait for your turn? 2 more minutes? And why cant you? Do you have an agenda to avoid a catastrophe waiting to happen within this 2 minutes?
Please wait for your turn. It can take you a long way!!
Yes of course, these are the ones that help us discover ourselves.
But have you realized that there are simpler things in life that could petrify you to the core? WE encounter such situations each day as we go about our daily chores, meet different people, and it happens at the common places and common situations. These irritable situations leave us red-faced, angry, yet we keep moving accepting it in our stride.
A classic situation. Jumping the Queue - while boarding the bus, at the pantry, waiting to get into the restroom, at the bank ATM, while shopping......
Image from http://ww1.cpa-apc.org:8080/Publications/Archives/CJP/2004/december/smolla.aspThe Queue-jumping folks have their own justification for doing so. Their excuses lame enough to earn the wrath of others. The most heard one is "I have an emergency. Can I please go ahead of you?" These justifications makes others wonder their worth! Am I so clear with no emergency? Is my time not precious?
I get angry lot when someone jumps the queue. One such incident occurred yesterday at the pantry while I was patiently waiting my turn to refill my coffee mug, a person just barges in, overtakes me and fills his cup!! What the heck! Am i insane to be standing there holding my coffee mug? Or am I jobless that I CAN wait for a couple more minutes? A similar one happened sometime ago. It was lunch time and I was waiting near the oven to heat my food. A very respected senior person from our organization just walked, over-took me and heated his food. All this while, I had to patiently wait. He didn't even realize his mistake!
What happened to conduct and manners? Are those dirty words now? Or is this what is called as being smart? The most sad part is at the public restrooms. People just walk by and jump the queue. What about so many folks behind you patiently waiting?
The phenomenon of jumping the line is not limited to a section of people and does not depend on their education and other sophistication but their values and virtues. It does not happen at all places. There have been two instances where in I jumped the queue unaware of the queue being there. It happened once at a souvenir shop in New York city. The crowd was large that I missed the queue. I thought the counter was free, and what I had to take was an ugly look from the cashier, and a stern but polite dismissal. I was so ashamed and I apologized profusely; for being so ignorant. The whole passed with my guilt engulfing me throughout.
How much does it take to wait for your turn? 2 more minutes? And why cant you? Do you have an agenda to avoid a catastrophe waiting to happen within this 2 minutes?
Please wait for your turn. It can take you a long way!!
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