Sunday, July 29, 2012

A Flash

There comes a phase in life when nothing grabs your attention. Maybe, not once but it keeps coming and going? Reactions to any event is like "Oh! not again!!" Or "Is that all?" is so common. Bring on something new! even before anything has started.

Is it called boredom or overkill? Maybe both. Any news on TV is just another news; not worth debating, tweeting or blogging. A day is just another day - work, home, sleep and morning again. Of course with other mundane activities thrown in. Weekends are predictable. Friends are fair weather; I mean there is no sweat to be wiped. All's fine.

Is life thrilling only in the absence of mundane stuffs? It scares me you know? To think that this is what I would be doing for the next 20-30 years? I really admire our elders and theirs who would have pretty much lived the whole of their life etched in stone. We are blessed; games, movies, friends, social networking, exposure to lot of other things that can entertain us and yet; I am saying I am bored.

 Thinking about it; it surely is an overkill and lack of patience isn't it? We want results immediately; success to come knocking on the door the very next day. We need it fast and immediate. What's wrong in that? My parents definitely struggled. They had limited exposure, limited opportunities; and the race was not deadly as we see today. Today; even if I work like a donkey all 364 days a year and show sloppy results on one; they won't think twice before replacing me. Such is the competition. There are lot of rotten tomatoes around; people will quickly pick them up and throw it away! 

 Personally, you are too soon bored of your boy friend/girl friend/spouse. First few months are bliss, Overkill here as well. And then the interest wanes. What do you talk to each other? "How was your day today?" What do you need for dinner?" The boy got good grades at school".......Then? Man watches TV and the lady doing something else?

Anything in abundance is sure a spoiler. Somethings are too easy to get; too fast and too easily bored with. You need something else, something new each time and that leaves you bored. What's next? What's new? Will there ever be anything satisfying? I guess not. Then one fine day; nothing matters. You consume everything with the same level of interest; or lack of it. You have seen it all, done it all - is what you believe. Momentary happiness, momentary sadness, its all a flash.

I think I am blabbering, these are just so normal isn't it? I am thinking if I should even post this or delete it? :)
Its all a flash :-)

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

India - A Paradox

It is not that I don't have anything to write. But these are days when you start to write two lines and then you think you are giving too much of importance to a thing and erase it off.

I was contemplating for few days on writing about the two episodes of Oprah's Next Chapter. This is a 2 part episode that was telecast last week on TLC. Well, my first reaction was "Another American stereotyping India" I don't mean to be harsh; in fact I thought Oprah was an intelligent lady. Sad! 

She visited a 10x10 feet house in a slum and asked insensitive questions to the kids. "Dont you feel cramped?" She visited a filthy rich house and was offered Indian thali and exclaimed "You STILL eat with your hand!" And more insanity as this. 

Anyway, I don't intend to write on it and start off a flurry of views which I think I already can guess. But her conclusive statement was "India is a paradox"  Quite a true statement I must say after all those nonsensical tryst. So is India a paradox? We are a land of billion plus people from all walks of life. Few countries would hold as much promise as India holds for its people. At the same time, few would face the enormous challenges as India's. 

The country was/is seen as a cushion to deteriorating to world economy along with China. We know the state of it internally, price raise, inflation, red tapes, corruption....At one side we show a glamorous India Shining whereas the other side we have the ever gloomy problems. Can this economic growth keep up with the ever growing demands?

Paradox it is in many other ways. We are confused whether to embrace and be proud of our culture or to ape the West. Thinking about it; I don't think we have any other geography of people who have been as contradictory as us. Some one would not like a political party biased on religion but wont allow his own child an inter-religion marriage. You can preach as long as you don't have to participate in washing off the dirt. It is that way at all levels from individual to the nation.

 It is chaotic and yet in harmony. It's a mess and yet its a smooth sail. How long?

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Best Left Unsaid?

Who is a human being? One reference is " a member of any of the races of Homo sapiens; person; man, woman, or child". Well that's an anatomical definition; perfect enough. Beyond that; the qualities we possess defines what we are. I am not making any discovery here :) Its known right? Happiness, joys, sorrows, anger, frustration, care, tenderness, love, lust, vengeance, misery, jealousy.......many many qualities; the list can go on. 

The end result of these feelings are expression. I have heard expressing them does wonders; at least you dont have to carry the burden of it within you. Sometimes it can backfire; but if all you care is keeping yourself light; the backfire wont bother you. But if that is going to hit back at you; then better keep off right? 

The fear of rejection or the fear of "what would they think about me?" definitely would keep us from voicing our opinions or concerns. I for one certainly think on a different angle than these two. "Did I not have that self control to handle the situation better?" always keeps me on my toes; I would better keep quiet and make my heart heavy than blurt it out and open another can of worms. 

I agree it doesn't work all the time. Sometimes it works in my favor when in a day or two I realize why something happened that way or the reason behind someone's behavior. They had a reason; and I am glad I waited before I fired. Some times its odd; because the moment has passed when I could have struck red hot. The assumption that some day they will realize is a stupid one. No one does! Other times, not talking about it causes drift and bitterness within that grows like a vicious weed that can choke you up.

Anyway; this one quality sets people apart from one another isn't it? The "What if" factor. What if I told her? What if I did not tell her? What if the situation got better? What if the situation got worse? What if he understands me some day? Living in anticipation of a better situation or a favorable situation keeps us going. 

"Never mind, I will be promoted next year". Only to realize you forgot to put the effort this year; you thought your last year's success will speak for your next year? Oh boy! Would it have been better to have clarified about it than assume? 

Anyway, it is better to wait for the right moment to speak. Its fine to speak than holding back. But the right time gets the importance you would like to attach; meanwhile you have had time to collect your thoughts and formulate a plan to go about it. 

Or sometimes its best left unsaid :)

Friday, July 13, 2012

Friday Fatuity

So after deciding to write a new post and keeping the Compose page for a couple of hours now; I am really tapping away the "smooth" keys on my laptop.

Back again after drifting away from writing for an hour or so. Lost in looking at photos on flickr. My favorite passtime is reading, watching cookery shows on TV (never to cook them :P) and browsing through flickr and other photo sharing sites and learn the techniques.

Anyway, the "smooth" comment was made by my junior who was typing away some code on my laptop and felt MAC was too smooth. Weekend means a combination of elation and depression. All of a sudden; you are released from the clutches of bout of work and you don't know how to kill 2.5 days and at the same time happy that the work can be forgotten.

The fact that I rely on spell check software to notify with red wavy underline when I type the word "DONT" without an apostrophe is alarming to me. Why am I orphaning the apostrophe? Bad me! Won't ever again; the proof is that I typed "won't" twice with apostrophe. I know! this is turning out to be gibberish.

But it's nice to be gibberish  once in a while isn't it? Or always, so what? Aah nice, so far I am using the apostrophe. Good for me and good for it as well ;-)

Well, heard dogs bark; it is not too late in the night but it is nice to hear a lively sound other than the mundane noise from the filters in aquarium. MUNDANE!  I updated my FB status as thus

Life is all about looking for not so mundane moments in mundane life

Well, its not mine; I stole it from a friend when we were chatting. He was prodding me with what's happening in life by asking numerous questions. I kept saying " usual.." and such kinds. He passed this comment in passing and I liked it.

Another friend; who is my best friend commented asking me the meaning of 'mundane' :-) How mundane!

Well, enough of nonsense. Will leave you with a picture of a glamorous lady!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Life goes on

Its been a while since I shared some of the snaps I have clicked in recent times. Off late; I click the pictures and keep it with me; don't share it anywhere. Maybe this behavior is normal when you do things for your satisfaction. Straight to pictures now

River Cauvery along the borders of Karnataka and TN - Hognekkal...A river divides...a river unites...
The Carbonatite rocks; oldest in Asia, the lines and the fixtures telling you stories of the eons past by, the coracle ride offering a vista of nature's treasure.

Blood red cherries....their presence is enough to soothe you. 

An enigmatic hat seller....The boy's eyes were captivating. He was talking like a mature man. I wonder how he would be in 20 years - Fort Aguada, Goa

Basilica of Bom Jesus as seen from Se Cathedral, Old Goa

Shut forever? The door was intricate and it was mysterious since you dont know whats behind it - Se Cathedral, Old Goa 

Another Game...or is it?

I am not alone; I am just waiting for my companion - Karwar coast 

Soaring high to stoop....A fish or two to scoop.. River Mandovi.. I need a better lens

An old photo. Was reading Dear reminded of a snap I clicked long long ago...Of a stranger walking out of the sea with his surfboard....the sun was setting and he formed a perfect silhouette...The protagonist in the novel is just like that stranger...Or that's what I think - Zuma Beach, Malibu, CA, Dec 2007

Tuesday, July 3, 2012


My mom called me an hour ago. She asked me if I can send the photos of me with pilots to my cousin. She was referring to the photos I clicked during my inflight experience in light aircraft and photos with pilots after the flight during my trip in Costa Rica.

I told her it was online on Facebook; so if he adds me as friend he can view them. I asked her why my cousin was interested in those pictures. What she told me irritated me as usual. She told me that during one of the usual conversation with her sister; she mentioned my photo with the pilots episode. Her sister got back a while later that it was utterly impossible to click snaps with pilots during flights as passengers dont have access. My mom has retorted with "Do you think my eyes would lie? I saw the pictures"; to which her sister has asked her to send the pictures as proof. My mom does not understand the nuances of facebook; she asked me to repeat what I said slowly so that she could write it down and repeat to them. 

Now this is not new to me. The cold war between two sisters as to who is living a better life and whose kids are doing good in their life, careers, a regular affair. Of course this stems from the insecurities and inferiority that have been nurtured for decades now among them but the fact that I am victimized every time irks me.

Some time back, it was about the cost of my car; I had to detail the model, engine type, type of transmission etc to justify the cost as compared to what my cousin and his mom believed was the price for the car! Some other time it was the comparison of cost of my flat versus cost of the flat in London where her sister's daughter lives.

I lost it today and told her not to disturb me with such stupid matters; she shot back telling me that she wants to show-off to her sister since she  also brags!

Each time, I need to give an explanation so that these two ladies are equipped with information to prove who has better life; not in terms of quality definitely but in terms of material possession. What are they trying to prove by taking credits of their children's life? Does it add any value to their quality of life is what I do not understand. The fact that I have to satisfy their silly ego annoys me.