In Love - Head Over Heels

I am done with my Nicholas Sparks novel marathon. I wont be reviewing his novels here. I am no fit for reviewing novels :)

When you read his romance; you will in all probability find a story with a depth of feeling and tenderness. Its difficult to find a male author writing sentimental romance. Anyway, getting back to romance in novels - its a perfect recipe for disaster :) Yup! You know the description of a fairy tale perfect romance - which is too good to be true and yet all we women out there seek. 

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The boy and the girl always seem to be head over heels in love with each other. Few things that cant be so right in real life

The boy has a perfect bod - a la Hritik Roshan :) The girl has the softest curls you can ever find, the nicest, blemish free skin complexion and that perfect bikini body. Oh! lets not forget that manly voice of his and the "give the Cuckoo a run for money" voice of the girl.

The girl loves pets; the boy shares the same passion. He likes biking; she too! She loves ice cream; he does too....Errrr.......

Things automatically falls into place; without any hard work. Incompatibility doesnt exist; if so the partner quickly changes to suit the other.

PERFECT - The ambiance, the setting, the words, the mood, the conversation, the likeness, the chemistry - not once but each and every time!

NORMAL is HOT . A normal walk on the beach with her cutey dog can take his breath away or a him relaxing with a bottle of beer can take her breath away. Ahem..Ahem...

A surprise vacation to an exotic location is so unconditional love. Did I hear candle light dinner at Tierra del fuego? :-P

Even absurd things makes sense. No matter what; just follow your heart - things would work. Really?? Logic and practicality is a crime :)

Love can reform anyone - even a Godzilla to a TDH man. Murderers, addicts, alcoholics anyone could be reformed and its a simple job; doesnt take as much time as it takes to snap your fingers.

Love making is an act of passion - ultimate surrender. Condom - whats that?

And above all - They live happily ever after and thereafter :)

More than Love

A couple of Nicholas Sparks romantic novels has put me in a reverie. For a hopelessly romantic person like me, these novels have been adding fuel to the fire.

Aggravating it is a recent Tamil film song from the movie "180". The song is "Nee Korinaal". The song gives me goosebumps but the visuals cheat me. Throughout the song, the heroine discovers hidden sweet-nothings, gifts and romantic verses written by her beau on her birthday.

This can definitely happen only in movies and novels.Which girl does not believe in a fairy tale love, prince charming sweeping her feet off and all that shit!!

Yeah! you read that right. SHIT! I could say Shit doesnt really happen. But mind over matter, you still yearn for those mushy mushy lovey-dovey kind of episodes to happen :) Ask your girlfriend or your wife, she might surely answer in affirmative.

Now I am pondering over the obvious - LOVE.

How should it be? We seek love, to be loved forever, to be loved the way we were loved yesterday, the previous day. We want it to encompass us forever. Is it self-destructive? Why cant love be treated as any other emotion? I am sad and I cry today. Do I wish to cry forever? No!! Do I wish to be giggling forever? Thats insane!!

More often than not, being in love means going through emotional upheavals. Why cant it be peaceful? Why does love bring so much grief? Why do we care two hoots to pain and discomfort that comes with love? Remember the moth-flame analogy? Is love that destructive? Why not look at love as a rain on a parched land? We get obsessed with it than able to put it aside as a part of life than the life itself.

More than that its the expectation that we have from a relationship. When in love, we put in all our energies and attention on the loved ones and suffocate it slowly but surely. Does it have to be so obsessive that you want to own each and every aspect of the loved one? Just take what you care for, make the most of the moments together. Avoid delving deep, you cannot have everything, enjoy what you have and avoid yearning for more.

But we hope of an elusive, everlasting love which is unreal. You know it, I know it, yet we are in quest of a bigger pleasure which is unproven; suffocating and killing what could be a refreshing ephemeral pleasure. If we could delve deep and figure out what we are trying to achieve, it seems that we tend to try to fulfill ourselves, try to fulfill that void and loneliness which no one could fill but us. We use it as a door to fulfill all our dreams and expectations. Dont we realize that we are smothering that delicate relationship?

So, instead of grieving what we cannot get out of a relationship, wont it be better to celebrate what we get? No one is perfect, one cant satiate his/her own quest, then how can you expect your quest to be satisfied by others? What if he cannot give all his love to you? What if you have to share it with others? Have you thought if you can do without what you get now? If so, bravo! It requires lot of guts and its appreciable.

In a life of turbulence, when a person's presence can you give a momentary happiness, does it matter if that person is truly and wholly devoted to you or not? That moment gives you energy? Yeah? Then why not relish that and leave the rest unperturbed?

The mistake we do is let love take over us as a deeply emotional and intense entity - disturbing and alarming.  Let it loose, let it not control you, use the short gist of happiness to fuel the rest of your life. No one; none can ever devote 100% to you or your concerns. Get yourself in a life or death situation and you will know - what you choose. Love will take a backseat. "I love you more than anything" is a bunkum.

All said and done, mind is a monkey :-P But this surely helps right? Now I am going back to a third Nicholas Sparks novel. I will surely get out of my reverie once I read the last page of the novel :)

Coward

Note : This is a work of fiction. Every time I try my hands on poem reflecting an emotion; I have been asked if its my personal experience. No not necessarily :)

He pursued and begged;
He cried and yearned;  

She gave in with a Yes,
lending her support to
fill his vacuum.
He said he'd love her, forever

He said he placed no one above her,
He said he needed her till his death,

A day arrived; when he remained silent
She did not know
that the silence is forever
How could she?
when the change was overnight
She did now realize; his
was not a need, but a want
that lasted until 

He found a new love
She being now stale

He hid away; in silence
scared to face her
chicken hearted that he was,
gutless to tell the truth
a spineless worm that he was
avoiding her; while

She kept waiting
unaware of his decision

She kept waiting
for him to come back to her
when she tried to talk
he remained silent
when she learnt the truth
he chose a mere 'sorry'

when she demanded a reason

it was loyalty, to his new found love

Leaving her flabbergasted; he ran away

Coward - thats his name

Being a father

As a child, her father dotted on her. She would wait for him to return from work. He would come home, tired, after a long and grueling day; but all his wariness would vanish like a miracle, once he saw his daughter's lovely face, yearning eyes and the innocent smile. He would wake her up each morning to take a goodbye kiss from her. She would sleepy-eyed bid 'tata' while he merrily went to work; now that his day was made.

She was the apple of his eyes. His life was a bundle of joy with her, he played with her, he fed her. He waited for her birthday all 364 days a year. He planned for his doting princess' birthday months in advance, saved money to buy expensive silks.

He was in awe of his daughter's skills, her knack of learning things. For him, she was the most beautiful and the most intelligent child on earth. For her, he was her "Daddy". He was her hero, the omnipotent being who was her provider and protector. Life was bliss for the father and the daughter.

As she grew, she realized that all was not rosy between her father and her mother. They fought all the time, they got violent, much to the shock and dismay of their two angelic kids. She tried hard to be composed at such tender age, manage to hold on for she had her younger sibling to look after to. Things got worse each day, grown ups behaved like kids. They fought for trivial issues, they despised each other, they were suddenly strangers to one another.

Domestic violence, verbal abuse, physical abuse. She was taught that these were 'normal' in a household. She saw her father abuse her mother, she saw her mother abuse her father, she saw them both growing harsher towards each other. It was unbelievable for the poor soul to witness demon like behavior from her parents whom she thought were picture perfect.

She understood that her parents were less than kids, immature, egoistic and selfish. The trauma grew deep within each day. No one to talk about it; as it would be a matter of ridicule. She always wondered why didn't her parents love each other, why didn't they go out as a family; like all her neighbors did, why did they hate each other so much that they hurt each other. She tried to come to a conclusion............

She missed a happy family outing, a laughter-filled family dinner. She missed her family at the school function where she would bag most awards, and she would be speechless when other envious parents asked her to introduce her parents. She would walk home alone at night, fearful and weepy; when her father did not come to pick her up from extra classes. She knew he was busy elsewhere, satisfying his selfish needs.

As she grew up as a confused teenager, she would eye her classmates with jealously when their fathers would come to school to pick them up. She would be left out in the crowd during lunch hours when each girl talked about what each family did on a weekend and time spent with their dad. She would just smile when someone showed her her father's surprise gift. She stopped going out on excursions and outings as she had no one to fetch her back home at odd hours. When asked why she dropped out by her friends, she just withdrew and learnt the art of lying. She would long for a reprimand by her father when she scored less in academics.

As she grew to be a woman, she missed being disciplined, she missed being protected as fathers of other girls would do. She would long to be questioned when she came home late, that authoritative question. She missed him when she wore skinny low-hip jeans; for she knew her conservative dad would never allow that. She wanted to complain to her dad about the guys who teased her, who passed out remarks at her; she missed him the most then. She missed him when she got her first job, she missed him when she got her first paycheck, her first car, her first home, new family......She spoke to her father once in a while and when they spoke, it was a formal chat between two unknown strangers. She called him up all excited on her birthday, her beloved daddy long ago prepared for her princess' birthday months in advance............................only to realize that her father has long forgotten he had a daughter, let alone her birthday, as he was long gone to lead a separate life.

The daughter has moved on, counting her blessings, yet the trauma visits her and she misses her dad......

"Being a Father means
....................coming home to a hug after a long day at work
....................pride in the accomplishment of your sons and daughters
....................making sure your child has all the benefits of having YOU in their life
....................being involved in your child's life"

HAPPY FATHERS DAY

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Types of Love

I was digging through my old emails and found a forwarded mail about the types of Love.
Funny!