Transformation

This happened during high school days. I was a new joined to the school; a convent school run by the sisters of St. Josephs of Cluny. Why am I specifying the school name is that to give a gist of what to expect in this post. Anything convent is related to English; thats what the post is about. 

During the first few weeks at school, I was beginning to learn cursive writing that was mandatory there.  

Most things seemed new to me; right from the sophistication, confidence and élan the girls had. It was nothing like what I saw in my previous school where we were mellow and shy. 

The girls of my class would make fun of a certain girl whenever she spoke. She had a perfect English; but with an accent. I did not understand why the girls made fun of her. One day, she was reading out some text in the absence of the teacher; when some girls in unison started mimicking her. At first, she ignored, then she started crying and finally yelled at the class "You Idiots!". That was when I understood; it was her accent they were making fun of! 

Few days later, I learnt that her accent was 'normal'. Normal here means the way a south Indian would pronounce and speak English. That was until the summer holidays. Everything seemed to have turned upside down once the school reopened after vacation. She came back with an accent! I inquired if she visited any foreign land for such a transformation in those 60 days. Girls who stayed near her house told nothing of that sort happened. And none of us knew what led to the transformation. 

Jasmine continued to have this accent until our end of school. I do not know if any symptom inflicted her; the way they show in movies! 

Well, what reminded me of Jasmine and her accent was when today; at work. Couple of my team members and me were expressing the challenges of holding meetings over phone with Americans. The East Cosat slang was different from West Coast slang. Its tricky to be talking to a stranger over phone, and to be talking to folks with a strange accent of yours is still tough; and the other end has a stranger slang is more a challenge. A colleague then mentioned that during one of such calls; she put her phone on speaker when I was talking. Her husband thought that I was a foreigner (I think she meant a Westerner) after hearing me speak, because of my accent. 

Now I don't know when I transformed the way Jasmine transformed :-)

Perceptions or My Identity

Couple of off-guard comments and questions last week and I have been thinking who am I? Its not a brain raking thought; just on a lighter side.

Two questions; just two. Those made me realize the perceptions people carry around. Oh! is that the way they've been thinking all the while? And on the serious side, maybe that's how I portray myself!

Is your home town really Bangalore? You've lived all your life here? 

My trainer at the gym asked me with shock one day when we talking casually. I nodded, yeah and added, in fact my mom's parents and grand parents are from Bangalore too. My husband's parents both were employed at Indian Air Force. Knowing this, he kinda chuckled and followed with a comment that went something like - I thought you were from some village in Tamil Nadu. Ungala patha pattikaadu matiri irukku. Its a slang to refer a naive and foolish person who has just arrived from village. Tamil folks, correct me if not. Actually, its a more derogatory remark.

I didn't react. I thought for few seconds, I don't look like a freshly immigrated pattikaadu from any village, I do wear well fitted sports wear to the gym, I look in place perfectly, not out of place! I just asked why; the trainer said that my body language does not show any pride of a Bangalorean. Now folks, I don't know how to show the "I am a Bangalorean" pride. I have spent all my life here; I don't go around wearing a Bangalorean badge on my sleeve the way people who arrived a couple of years ago do. Anyway, as the chat continued; his next question was "Weekend plans ma'am? Party?" I said that I don't attend parties or any such activities since I don't like crowd. He was baffled; a Bangalore local not liking parties...Ummm...Perception!

The second incident occurred yesterday when a friend and his wife and her sister came home. This girl is chatty, comments on everything and anything and talks on topics that I would generally blush to talk! Kids nowadays! Sigh! Enough said. We went out and I was thinking to exchange all my read books. I took her with me to the book store while others went to a nearby mall. Now me, I get lost in books; she waited for me to pick up the books and leave, it took me 30 minutes or so (which is quick! I was aware I was not alone and hence cant take forever)

She kept prodding me about how I read all these, when do I get time, don't I find it boring? She picked a couple of books and asked me "From where will you start reading?" That was weird, of course I wont be reading First printed at...., acknowledgements and all that. She found a couple of words and wanted to know its meaning. "Splendid" and 'frigid". OK! I am not a master in English but this girl is doing her Journalism. Pity her employers and pity her readers.

I was finding it unusual really, I hope my feelings were not exaggerated. I also had to explain why some words in a book were italicized while others were not and later to make her understand what I was meaning by explaining what is italicization. Finally, the big question came

Were you a nerd from the beginning?

Well, I didn't know what to say. Why am I branded a nerd? Just because I read books? I don't wear any spectacles. I don't dress like one; I mean the way they show nerds in movies. I am chic, smart and savvy. Does that warrant for a nerd? Ummmphh! Perceptions!

Or are these my identities? :-|

Coward

I remember well, I was wearing a crisp white salwar with pink thrown in; that day. As every other day, I was waiting to board one of the route buses to office. I did not know about this particular bus number until that day; I did not see it after that day also. The bus was not empty, it was not crowded as well.

I did not find a seat, but it was more than enough that I could stand freely. There was someone behind me who I thought was close enough. You guessed it right, a guy. I moved away and there was nothing eventful until a row of seat was empty. I occupied the window and this guy the aisle. He was dressed like an executive, formals and all that. I sensed he was trying something but couldn't. I don't mind sharing the seat with men; as long as they are well behaved. This fellow was not doing anything so that I could raise an alarm and slap him hard. But at the same time, he was not quiet.

Fortunately, my stop arrived; I alighted from the bus and started crossing the melee of vehicles and started walking. It was a traffic signal; and before I knew he caught up with me. Now, I don't think this was his destination as well, but I never knew. I was walking fast and he was trying to catch up. Once he was walking beside me, he gave a sloppy compliments that I looked great. When I turned around to look at him, he was sweating like a pig.

I was more flummoxed than being angry. Now what was this guy wanting, whatever it was, he seemed so scared. I felt poor for his attire now soiled with sweat. I was near the office almost, he still seemed to be walking with me. Fed up, I just stopped and said "Do you want to talk over a cup of coffee?"

Well, I did not know why I said that, but I knew he was a coward to accept the offer. He just walked away after that. This happened 6 years ago; dont ask me why I got reminded of this incident today.

All about ET

You finished writing my piece? ET asked me the other day. When I was talking to him last week; I just mentioned that I am going to write about him. He promptly asked me about it. I told him it would be my next post. ET...strange name huh?

Well, the name is Abilash Sekar. It was about 6 months into my first job, one noon at a restaurant; some of us joined another group for lunch. We were a bunch of freshers, completely prepared to enjoy the financial freedom by indulging in food. Yeah it was food, food and food. A friend introduced as "He is Abilash"; that was when I first met ET. It was a formal "Hi". To me, he looked like a high school kid; not that I was any better. Yet, there was something about ET...(ET! I dont know what it is even to this day ok?)

OK! So this is ET's latest pic. Does he not look like a high school kid?

Why ET? His friend told us that this guy had an amazing contradictory qualities that made him unique species. Very lazy yet agile when required. Slacking yet good academic records...Seems closer to a nerd? Maybe I am being nice to him....was a nerd; that's why he was nicknamed ET. That stuck among his friends and at home and even at work. People knew ET as ET than as Abilash. What his friend told about ET was true; which I gradually found out through the years.

At work; we didnt collaborate since he and I worked for different projects but for the same release. We would go to lunch together. Always soft spoken, innocent looking bespectacled ET was a silent killer when it came to food. He can gorge on and on; but one look at him and no one would believe it for his slender frame. I liked to watch ET eating :P Again ET I dont know why. Its just that you look cute while eating :P

ET hated walking; but soccer was his life. I can't imagine how? Would take 30 minutes to walk half a kilometer but very good at soccer. Well, he didnt know until few months back that I followed soccer too. ET likes driving a lot; he used to drive his Zen to office. Well, a gang of 5-6 of us made a good freshie gang and it was fun. ET left after 2 years to pursue MS.

About his extremely opposite qualities; I recall an incident at Lake Tahoe. Incidentally; 3 friends who left to pursue MS and 2 of us who went on business trip to US decided to make a road trip for 10 days. Our first destination was Lake Tahoe. It was freezing being December; so we wanted to have something hot to warm us up. We stopped at a Chinese restaurant and ordered for soup. ET was seated opposite to me; while reaching for my soup; I knocked off the glass of water; the water spilled on the table and the excess was about to spill on ET. His reflex was so fast that I thought I was seeing a fast-motion in a movie...He just got away in a blink of an eye. Here is a pic before that event occurred.

The same evening; when we were leaving from Lake Tahoe; my friend was tired and asked if ET can take the wheels. So ET who has not driven a lot in the US; just got behind the wheels and made it look so easy on a snow slicked road. He drove all night without any show of tiredness. He can do that with ease on Indian roads as well on the very first day he lands in India. I asked him about people who stay abroad for few months and then complain about how they cant handle Indian roads. His response was "I just spent 2 years only; but I was born here remember?" Yeah but not everyone are this way; dont they throw a price?

Some more incidents like these prove ET being ET without a doubt. Mature in thinking; meticulous planning but no one would ever have a clue about it. We were supposed to go to Antarctica last December; the plan was to board a ship from Ushuaia, Tierra del Fuego on a 16 day trip. Then again, ET ditched me and instead traveled to Columbia. ET! You owe me one now that I have written all good things about you :P


Well, on a serious note; it feels good to see him being  regularly in touch. Trust me; even in today's world of social networking overdose; people are still so busy to catch up on each other. Most of my first friends at work are not in touch; they don't bother to call when they visit Bangalore. ET is one of the few..Glad ET :)

The start of the road trip - Dec 2007

Couldn't resist this ET ;-) You can give any hot babe a run for her money ;-)

Humanity in Religion

The basis for religion is humanity but do we really find the humanity part in our cultural practices?

We know what the answer is; so isn't it ironical that we continue to put 'humanity' as the basis for religion?

I visited a remote village in a neighboring district yesterday. It was the village festival but my interest was not for the festival. I thought I could do some bird watching and capture good photos.

Capture did I some nice snaps and I also spotted beautiful birds - peacocks, cranes, kites, partridge, huge sparrows and larks. I was so glad to see these birds so happy lapping up in nature while we find it so hard to spot a sparrow in Bangalore. Anyway owing to my poor 18-105mm lens, I could not capture any of them on my camera.

I digressed along the way; so I was talking about religious practices and humanity. Treat others with respect and be kind to animals and all that one learnt in your school as part of catechism and moral science? The event was a village festival; so people flocked from nearby villages to a tiny temple to sacrifice animals and appease the goddess.

Sacrificing animals is not something new; in fact sacrificing humans and animals were very much part of world culture right? For me it seemed the Goddess was a violent lady and she liked torture and agony; she wanted to be pleased as apposed to peace and serenity. Now, thats how people seemed to have read it.

Every religion has the same base principles. For eg, Bible talks a lot about sacrifice. What is a sacrifice? Sacrifice is giving up something that we really want; the story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac is symbolic. But people do tend to take it literally and dramatically. It involves shedding of blood of a hapless creature to atone the sins of the individual or the group making this sacrifice. Obviously the blood shed is not of the person making the sacrifice; an animal is being made to pay for someone else's sins.

What I witnessed was such unethical treatment of helpless animals; tied and handled with no respect for life whatsoever. They were brutally butchered as they continued to cry. To watch a sight of barbarism as their body shudder and finally they give up that life is ghastly. People cheered as the poor creatures died; they skinned them, cleaned and cut them; in some time they relished the food.

What if the man was meted out with such an end? I saw this nice picture on facebook and it is worth sharing it here.

Women and Ambiguity

Its a universal known truth that women cant be straight forward isn't it? We throw a hint and expect the man to pick up the clue. But how do women deal with ambiguity?

I mean its equally difficult for us as well. I am talking out more in terms of my professional experience than personal. Some are trained to read in between the lines, to understand body language but why cant one say it in plain language?

I have realized that ambiguity is what leads to stress. You do not know what to do, what to expect and what not to do. You tread that path in confusion and doubt. Is it tough to say "Look! I need you to step up since I have future plans for your growth" than asking "why don't you do this...that...? Otherwise even in personal life; why should it be complicated? Communication is dangerous as equally as being helpful.

Anyway. getting back to professional life. I have heard women cant handle ambiguity. Ambiguity is a prime factor while in leadership role. Its easy if things are binary but what starts you guessing and in turn stressing out is when there is no definitive expectations, role, responsibilities call whatever you want to.

How do you handle "You will be held responsible for his failure" and yet be told "Don't tell him what to do"

Isnt that crazy? I have heard of things like these in corporate world. It seems men can handle such situations better than women. Hmm, maybe they just take it easy or can draw out the black and white from the gray.

Enough ranting for today :)

What NOT to ask

Well, you do have overly concerned relatives and colleagues who are your well wishers. You get advices in abundance and suggestions galore. The session of suggestion or advice starts post few queries. You are shot with questions in full view of the public; without even a wee bit of sensibility; you are so garishly embarrassed that you would love to have a flying carpet to vanish from there or just wish the person's head blew up and the pieces just flew out in all directions!

Has it ever happened to you? Zillion times eh?

Its not just about marriage or salary. Its more than that. An aunty with a sweet smile will inquire "How many kids?" "A straight face - "Not yet". Lips pressed tight, gives such  dirty look and says "Oh! Why? Worried about losing your beauty huh?" If not the beauty its about the money "How much do you want to earn? No one is going to ask you how many cars you have or what property you have. They will always ask how many kids?" And then an age old proverb and then blah...blah...blah.....

Or see a seasoned techie and exclaim "Oh! you are not a manager yet!" It happens only in India. If you have for 7+ years in software and if you are not a manager; all hell breaks loose. You are deemed incompetent, unfit...Any amount of explanation about you not inclined towards management goes unheard. There is a twitch, a smirk! and then whenever you show up in a gathering, you can hear whispers and odd looks.

Similarly ONSITE opportunities. A baggy trouser-ed bespectacled uncle  will ask you "Your company didn't send you to Amrica?" If you are in software field and have not gone to America on work; boy! oh boy! you are so unfit!!! My mom's biggest work off late is explaining why I chose not to go to America for work to her sisters. She gets snubbed by her sister that I (that's me) don't have it in me to work in USA. My mother is disappointed and she calls me. I have a hearty laugh! Most of them don't realize that the skilled ones remain in homeland because what really happens onsite is this.

Anyway how to deal with it? Just look into their eyes and say "None of your business" and follow it with a sweet smile :)

Help and Friends

Though 'help' and 'friends' are synonymous to one another; they don't always have to go hand in hand isn't it? Help comes from remotely ever imagined manner if you really are in need of it - from a stranger let's say. They are gone even before you turn around to thank them.

Yesterday evening, while I was commuting back home; the auto driver saw another auto driver standing helpless on the road. I guess he understood what his problem would be because this guy did not ask him any question but just nodded in approval; the other fellow pushed his auto and jumped to his seat. The most innovative way of towing happened; or rather nudging I should say. The auto driver in which I was started kicking/pushing the auto while he exposed his left leg outside. In that way, the kinetic energy of the auto in motion got transferred to his leg and he pushed the auto which had a break down. So this happened for 2 kms where the auto steadily was kicked and it picked speed.Once the gas station neared this guy directed him and just picked speed; did not even wait for a thank you. Now I don't know if they have that autowallah bhai-bhai feeling; it still was impressive to me.

That was the HELP part. Now the FRIENDS part. Friends are not supposed to keep track of helps and lending a shoulder to cry isn't it? After all, we are friends! So friends, friends appropriately forget the help done in cash, kind or deed. Your pokes, pings, mails go unheard. They flaunt their celebrations, travel to exotic places and have expensive wine and gourmet food but they don't find a minute to try to keep in touch. Hell!! I am not jealous even when they cozy up with once-upon-a-time enemies who made their life grumpy! It does not hurt me even a wee bit if they ignore your attempt to reaching out.

I have a bad habit of sniping off contacts in any form once I feel bitter. Now that's bad. No wonder my friends list on FB does not cross 100. I cant help it; I believe it takes lot of dedication and trust to earn a friendship and equally to maintain it. If not; its just not worth!

Steve Jobs - My thoughts as I read

Books are piling up in my closet. I have many pending to be read. I finished with all those Nicolas Sparks mushy far-from-reality romances. I did lap up on treasure hunting thrillers.

I was reading short stories by Forsyth and abandoned it mid way to read Steve Jobs. The world mourned the death of Steve Jobs just few days ago. He was a saint to many people. I was not particularly inclined to him and my only association with Apple has been owning an iPod and a MAC on which I am typing now :). I chose an Android to an iPhone and have restricted from owning an iPad. The first time I heard about Jobs was sometime in 2005 just after his Stanford commencement speech. Few friends in college thought that I was too up-to-date and too technical to know who Steve Jobs was and when I asked who he was; I recall getting that dirty look. I dont know if I should be mortified to confess that I still have not viewed his commencement speech :-/ Few things make you unperturbed and ignorant for not any particular reason.

The second time I heard about Jobs was the very next year. I was in the Bay area on work; one Saturday decided to visit Hewlett and Packard's garage at their Palo Alto home. I stopped on one street and an American couple were unloading their groceries from their car. I approached them and asked for HP's garage. They gave me directions and added Steve Jobs apartment was 3 blocks away. I just nodded and left. I still didnt know why Steve Jobs was so important.

So now I am reading his biography; I am half way through; at the back of my mind I fail to fathom why he was treated like a saint after his death. Steve more than one way revolutionized the personal computer industry and made our lives so simpler.

When they sell their first PC Apple I; he realizes its presentation was as important as feature. He transforms an engineer's hobby to a business and thus his friend (Woz) had a conflict with his belief and Job's ambition.
He had a way to get people do so that he can get what he wanted. A time when he takes Woz's help to design a game in an optimal way; he intentionally hides the bonus he was being offered by Atari and just shares his base earnings.

Or the time when he flatly denies he fathered Lisa and got around with a statistics that any one among the 28% of the male population in USA could be her father; later agreeing for providing for her just before Apple went public!! His college friend Kottke at Reed who stood by Jobs was not provided any IPOs. So very untrustworthy, non ethical and a person who could steal credits as he famously quoted "Good artists copy, great artists steal" when he hijacked Xerox's PARC GUI design. Was it his heist or Xerox's stupidity?

What set him apart was his ingenuity to bring art and technology together. Technology should be aesthetic. How he could go at any lengths to dominate. He cried when Scott assigned him a employee #2 so that it keeps his ego under check and Jobs requested for #1. #1 went to Woz; Jobs wouldnt have any of it and finally asked for #0 but BoA wanted a positive integer for a payroll account; so he had to stick with #2 :)

Throughout; he tactically talked people into his job; used them and disposed them off. "All you did until now was shit, so why dont you work for me?" was what he said to a Xerox engineer. Thinking otherwise; if he had not got his way; we might not have products as its now. Like GUI, the mouse, the book sized laptops; which all others like Microsoft copied.

He did not ask to read the draft and wanted people to know the real him. Is this why he is regarded as great? I could see him more as a shrewd man who could stare anyone down to get things done his way. Maybe there is more to him.

I will be able to understand more once I am done with reading the book. 

Girls and Machines

Gadgets, Motorcycles, Cars.......

Somehow for reason unknown to me; I was and still am drawn towards sleek gadgets and mean machines. I would devour information on latest bikes and cars in town. I have been a regular reader of automobiles supplementary that comes every Thursday along with the newspaper; I do not miss single episode of The Auto show and similar kinds on TV. I am always up to date on new arrivals, their specifications, price and performance and such.

Did I not yap about how a Z4 gets it life at the Bavarian workshop? Now; it so happens that people either think that I am bluffing away or they think I am abnormal. These are all GUY thing huh? Thats what I am told time and again. I am not going to complain or crib about 'whoever enforced this conventional rule". I am going to share an incident that happened while in 12th grade.

That was when Bajaj introduced Pulsar; that period when Indian motorcycle market was bumped with small capacity bikes; bigger capacity motorcycles didnt exist except for Bullet; and the CBZ hit the market couple of years earlier. I read about that bike and also watched a couple of shows featuring the new bike in town.

I had this girl who initially was my commute mate; we belonged in the same class and eventually became good friends.One such day while going home after class; we got started talking about mopeds, motorcycles, cars and the likes. I mentioned about this new bike in town and its specificity. We had a healthy discussion. A couple of days later; this girl comes up and says that her dad warned her to maintain a distance from me. I did not understand initially; I asked her what was the reason. This is what she had to say

"I was telling my dad about our conversation the other day on bikes and cars. He asked me how you knew so much about them. He added that you might have a boy friend and thats where all your knowledge on bikes and cars are coming from. So he asked me to maintain distance from you"

My reaction? Nothing; just a smile at their ignorance :) Oh by the way; new addition to my gadgets - a  MAC. I am thoroughly enjoying it.

Nepal - People

Well, if you an avid traveler; you want to see all and do all. I am one such person; never ever get enough of traveling. But its good to leave some; the mystery it holds is enough to entice you for your next sojourn - to somewhere else.

Its the same feeling with Nepal as well. Each place brings in a uniqueness that no other place can ever give. Its not just about the place; but the moment, the time, the people. Even if you could visit the same place with the same set of people in the same manner; it sure wont be the same as the earlier one!!

Meeting new people; dousing their curiosity, sharing anecdotes between smiles is a pleasure by itself. Met few interesting people in this trip as well. I tried to click few portraits - the absence of sun light made it best to capture a character - the depth which gets lost due to that sunlight; I feel.

The hazy surrounding highlights the portrait and captures the features quite well. Thats what I tried to do. Here are few.

Flaming red T shirt, Ray Ban aviators, a garland - does he not give our Bollywood heroes a run for their money?

Sadhus galore at the Pashupathinath temple. Smoking hash, talking expletives, they have their way. They bless you only if you give them money. These halo around this Baba was the effect I gave so that he looked spiritual :-P

A Sadhvi. She cussed more than the Baba. Tall, well built lady.

 

It was Rakhi bandhan day. Brahmins sit near the temples and offer blessings to people who offer them fruits and money. This man was waiting for people to come by and seek his blessings.

A Tibetan mother and her daughter. The older one was pensive; concentrating in her prayers. I asked them if  The wrinkles on their face is proof enough of their ordeal, they are refugees. I could click their picture. They obliged :)

This girl was diligent in her work, trying to shielding the lip smacking sweetmeats that was all around her; not once did she eye them.

What caught me was this lady checking her watch; time and again. The entire crowd was in a festive mood; and this lady had some other important work I guess.

At the monastery in Swayambhunath temple. This Lama was around when I sneaked into the monastery and quickly walked out. He wanted to know where I was from. He readily posed for a picture. It was a perfect setting with no light. His eyes talk stories :)

Stern and strict - a police officer guarding the palace at the Kathmandu Durbar square.

Naughty kids - readily posed for picture; later one of them kept nagging me for money! :-/

My dog picture :)

These school girls looked so pretty; liked their skirts :)

A dollop of vermillion on her forehead, bright green contrasting beads; a busy Newari lady

One of my favorite picture mainly because it was unplanned. She just came in the frame.

Never minding the architectural treasure she is surrounded with; this lady is busy selling her items.

This boy's father is one of the very few; or rather the only craftsman who hand makes singing bowl. singing bowl by itself needs an exclusive post. Behind him are the rows of machine made singing bowls :)

The guide at the Patan durbar square. Shared lot of interesting information.

Finally, our driver who drove like mad bull; never stopping even once to admire the nature. Well, its an everyday affair for him :)

People

Its been some time since I have been clicking pictures. I am finding it difficult to carry my bulky DSLR in my bag the way I carried my point and shoot.

Not been going on short trips as well. So its been a while since I took few good pictures. One thing I have always shied away from clicking are people. Either that I am conscious they are watching me or that I think I might invade their privacy.. However, I always seek their permission; reluctantly.

Capturing people gives you an insight to their perspective - on life, on this world, on surroundings. You can get an idea of their current mood - few deep in thought, others relaxed, few amused and so on. I did try to click few pictures with people. Here they are.

This young balloon vendor is trying to manage his bunch of balloons. Observe his concentration :) He was not even aware that I was taking his picture.

Micky Mouse, Spider-man all wait to soar up in the sky free. But this woman and that man seem to have tied them up. Even Superman and Spiderman can be under the clutches of simple people with no special powers :)

The Dog - Dont mistake for the title "People". This dog was perturbed as I kept following it to take its picture. Can you see an old man farther? He is possibly homeless, the only property he has is that sack beside him.

I am leaving a trail.....dont follow me for I may not lead you. Buy my flute, play along and make your own trail :)

I can be a lion and scare you, I can be a joker and make you laugh, I can be a Minnie Mouse and entertain you, I can be a Santa and give you gifts, I can be a Spiderman and save you.......But I am a tired man - all I need is a cup of tea and few rupees to have my meal

A devil....tired and old devil....