Lost Childhood

A child in his growing up years sees his father as a hero, as a savior. He hopes his father can be his best buddy as well his mentor. For most fortunate ones, their wishes come true, if not completely, partially. His father cannot be his best buddy but he still can be a good mentor. However, for the less unfortunate ones, father is a dream, a costly wish and in the later years; the father is a lost dream.

A father had everything in his life he could ask for - a loving wife and two lovely kids. But as they say; few people don't realize the value of their possessions. They seek pleasure that is either fake or not permanent. This young man of 26 years started neglecting his family gradually, company of his friends and his vice of gambling providing him more pleasure. The crack in the marital relationship was subtle in the beginning; but got the worse of it as years passed by.

The arguments grew big, verbal duel got nastier, fights erupted between the man and the woman; the house turned into a hell from where the children could find no escape. Their lives were in constant fear and anticipation of the next fight that could erupt between their parents; when is the next time they will have to miss their meal, their sleep? When will be the next time their parents blackmail them to drink "poison"? When will the next time come when their parents left them alone to fend for themselves?

Sometimes, the fights would last days; mother beaten, bruised and bleeding while the father absconding. Gradually, the children wary of the brimming turmoil; worried if they can go to school the next day in peace? Will they be able to spend an hour or two in silence instead of pleading their parents to stop. The wants of these kids were not toys or candies or clothes, their wants were peace and harmony in their life. To be able to have an innocent childhood, to have a carefree life.

What responsibility is that to be having to dispense advice to your parents at that age? Or to isolate yourself from friends to save being embarrassed? As years passed by, the scene changed; each of the parent seeking love and solace out of wedlock; that awkward moment of children having to face newer mucks.

And one day, the father left home forced out by the kids; unable to bear the sufferings; they chose the better of the worse. Life moved on; the children growing up to finish their education, finding jobs and a place in society; nurturing their own small family now; trying to heal the wounds; meeting with the father once in a while.

One of those days, at the funeral of their grandmother; the father was worried that their kids have been without food since morning. He was lamenting about it and was pursuing the kids to grab something quick to eat. The once tiny lovely girl; now a woman shot back "Did you worry about us being hungry when you were pursuing your pleasure and we were helpless kids? Now we are grown up, earn our money and know when to eat". The father was speechless and the daughter sorry that she uttered those words.

But the damage was already done; snatching away the life that rightfully belonged to the kids - long ago when they badly needed them

Nuisance

My mom called me an hour ago. She asked me if I can send the photos of me with pilots to my cousin. She was referring to the photos I clicked during my inflight experience in light aircraft and photos with pilots after the flight during my trip in Costa Rica.

I told her it was online on Facebook; so if he adds me as friend he can view them. I asked her why my cousin was interested in those pictures. What she told me irritated me as usual. She told me that during one of the usual conversation with her sister; she mentioned my photo with the pilots episode. Her sister got back a while later that it was utterly impossible to click snaps with pilots during flights as passengers dont have access. My mom has retorted with "Do you think my eyes would lie? I saw the pictures"; to which her sister has asked her to send the pictures as proof. My mom does not understand the nuances of facebook; she asked me to repeat what I said slowly so that she could write it down and repeat to them. 

Now this is not new to me. The cold war between two sisters as to who is living a better life and whose kids are doing good in their life, careers, financially....is a regular affair. Of course this stems from the insecurities and inferiority that have been nurtured for decades now among them but the fact that I am victimized every time irks me.

Some time back, it was about the cost of my car; I had to detail the model, engine type, type of transmission etc to justify the cost as compared to what my cousin and his mom believed was the price for the car! Some other time it was the comparison of cost of my flat versus cost of the flat in London where her sister's daughter lives.

I lost it today and told her not to disturb me with such stupid matters; she shot back telling me that she wants to show-off to her sister since she  also brags!

Each time, I need to give an explanation so that these two ladies are equipped with information to prove who has better life; not in terms of quality definitely but in terms of material possession. What are they trying to prove by taking credits of their children's life? Does it add any value to their quality of life is what I do not understand. The fact that I have to satisfy their silly ego annoys me.

All about ET

You finished writing my piece? ET asked me the other day. When I was talking to him last week; I just mentioned that I am going to write about him. He promptly asked me about it. I told him it would be my next post. ET...strange name huh?

Well, the name is Abilash Sekar. It was about 6 months into my first job, one noon at a restaurant; some of us joined another group for lunch. We were a bunch of freshers, completely prepared to enjoy the financial freedom by indulging in food. Yeah it was food, food and food. A friend introduced as "He is Abilash"; that was when I first met ET. It was a formal "Hi". To me, he looked like a high school kid; not that I was any better. Yet, there was something about ET...(ET! I dont know what it is even to this day ok?)

OK! So this is ET's latest pic. Does he not look like a high school kid?

Why ET? His friend told us that this guy had an amazing contradictory qualities that made him unique species. Very lazy yet agile when required. Slacking yet good academic records...Seems closer to a nerd? Maybe I am being nice to him....was a nerd; that's why he was nicknamed ET. That stuck among his friends and at home and even at work. People knew ET as ET than as Abilash. What his friend told about ET was true; which I gradually found out through the years.

At work; we didnt collaborate since he and I worked for different projects but for the same release. We would go to lunch together. Always soft spoken, innocent looking bespectacled ET was a silent killer when it came to food. He can gorge on and on; but one look at him and no one would believe it for his slender frame. I liked to watch ET eating :P Again ET I dont know why. Its just that you look cute while eating :P

ET hated walking; but soccer was his life. I can't imagine how? Would take 30 minutes to walk half a kilometer but very good at soccer. Well, he didnt know until few months back that I followed soccer too. ET likes driving a lot; he used to drive his Zen to office. Well, a gang of 5-6 of us made a good freshie gang and it was fun. ET left after 2 years to pursue MS.

About his extremely opposite qualities; I recall an incident at Lake Tahoe. Incidentally; 3 friends who left to pursue MS and 2 of us who went on business trip to US decided to make a road trip for 10 days. Our first destination was Lake Tahoe. It was freezing being December; so we wanted to have something hot to warm us up. We stopped at a Chinese restaurant and ordered for soup. ET was seated opposite to me; while reaching for my soup; I knocked off the glass of water; the water spilled on the table and the excess was about to spill on ET. His reflex was so fast that I thought I was seeing a fast-motion in a movie...He just got away in a blink of an eye. Here is a pic before that event occurred.

The same evening; when we were leaving from Lake Tahoe; my friend was tired and asked if ET can take the wheels. So ET who has not driven a lot in the US; just got behind the wheels and made it look so easy on a snow slicked road. He drove all night without any show of tiredness. He can do that with ease on Indian roads as well on the very first day he lands in India. I asked him about people who stay abroad for few months and then complain about how they cant handle Indian roads. His response was "I just spent 2 years only; but I was born here remember?" Yeah but not everyone are this way; dont they throw a price?

Some more incidents like these prove ET being ET without a doubt. Mature in thinking; meticulous planning but no one would ever have a clue about it. We were supposed to go to Antarctica last December; the plan was to board a ship from Ushuaia, Tierra del Fuego on a 16 day trip. Then again, ET ditched me and instead traveled to Columbia. ET! You owe me one now that I have written all good things about you :P


Well, on a serious note; it feels good to see him being  regularly in touch. Trust me; even in today's world of social networking overdose; people are still so busy to catch up on each other. Most of my first friends at work are not in touch; they don't bother to call when they visit Bangalore. ET is one of the few..Glad ET :)

The start of the road trip - Dec 2007

Couldn't resist this ET ;-) You can give any hot babe a run for her money ;-)

Help and Friends

Though 'help' and 'friends' are synonymous to one another; they don't always have to go hand in hand isn't it? Help comes from remotely ever imagined manner if you really are in need of it - from a stranger let's say. They are gone even before you turn around to thank them.

Yesterday evening, while I was commuting back home; the auto driver saw another auto driver standing helpless on the road. I guess he understood what his problem would be because this guy did not ask him any question but just nodded in approval; the other fellow pushed his auto and jumped to his seat. The most innovative way of towing happened; or rather nudging I should say. The auto driver in which I was started kicking/pushing the auto while he exposed his left leg outside. In that way, the kinetic energy of the auto in motion got transferred to his leg and he pushed the auto which had a break down. So this happened for 2 kms where the auto steadily was kicked and it picked speed.Once the gas station neared this guy directed him and just picked speed; did not even wait for a thank you. Now I don't know if they have that autowallah bhai-bhai feeling; it still was impressive to me.

That was the HELP part. Now the FRIENDS part. Friends are not supposed to keep track of helps and lending a shoulder to cry isn't it? After all, we are friends! So friends, friends appropriately forget the help done in cash, kind or deed. Your pokes, pings, mails go unheard. They flaunt their celebrations, travel to exotic places and have expensive wine and gourmet food but they don't find a minute to try to keep in touch. Hell!! I am not jealous even when they cozy up with once-upon-a-time enemies who made their life grumpy! It does not hurt me even a wee bit if they ignore your attempt to reaching out.

I have a bad habit of sniping off contacts in any form once I feel bitter. Now that's bad. No wonder my friends list on FB does not cross 100. I cant help it; I believe it takes lot of dedication and trust to earn a friendship and equally to maintain it. If not; its just not worth!

Self Praise

Few of us will cry foul I know! Few of us will exclaim "How proud she is!" But yeah we are so absorbed in what others have to say that we probably forget what we are :)

I cant believe I could ever post something like this about me on a public forum as this; I have always been humble and down to earth person. (Yeah, heard this a zillion times :-P)

Anyway, last evening a very close friend of mine came to meet me with his wife. He has chosen to stick to me for 10 years now; even with my bullish and arrogant behavior. I bet it has not been easy for him; the average life span of a friendship with me is 3 years. I drift away; the reasons are aplenty - they do not match my intelligence, they are boring, they cant talk beyond chicken or movies and so on...Ahem...yes sorry but this is true. It does not end here. They will have to put up with my arrogance, flaunts and bullying.

I can stealthily let someone know how outdated they are with their beliefs or knowledge or take a dig at someone when they talk rubbish. Hold on! I dont do that with all but only with friends whom I think can tolerate my antics. Few of them understand I genuinely want them to learn, few take an umbrage.

Anyway, so people who know me well call me Google (with humble apologies to Google). To spell out a word or to replace a word, to know the specifications of a new car model and its price or recommend the best red wine . I am happy to discuss Chinese influence in Maldives or the sad demise of apostrophe (I get a chance to make fun of myself now as I write...I just noticed I wrote "sad demise". When has demise been ever happy?)

So these few people who call me Google do not know each other but somehow I get tagged like this maybe due to their belief that they will find answers to their queries. Oh yeah I have played agony aunts to lot many as well; sadly people's attention span is so poor that they forget. There is this general belief that techies are frogs in the well; so when people hear to talk they quip "How do you know all these?" and I retort "Why do you think I will not know this?"

Coming back to my friend, I must say he is such a nice guy to put up with my temper and bullying. I have treated him so bad; he was a year junior at college; though we were of same age I would take the liberty of thrashing him; kicking him; slapping him...all in the pretext of bring him to speed! Now he is married its tough for me to play quiet and not bully him in her presence. He still sticks to me is a fact even I am surprised!

Office Spouse

A famous newspaper that is known to contain ads and gossips more than actual news had an interesting article of late.

The article started with a question as to how would you like it if you had someone who would be constantly supportive, your agony aunt or a punching bag at work? A spouse without having to marry!!

Few things sound dramatic when you give a name to them. It might be as simple as having a supportive colleague; but look at the term. Office Spouse!! The term Spouse brings in lot of packages with it - Nuptial agreement, promises to love each other in sickness and health, be loyal and honest until death..err...job hops do us apart!

Can we claim a no harm being friendly with colleague relationship as a "spouse" type? This very word is going to draw flak and make people wary of a healthy relationship at work. So yeah! you definitely would be bound to like one person more than others in the group. Like minded people would like to steal few minutes to go for a walk and talk on topics they could relate with.

There could be situations where in you could work better with a person having similar working styles than in isolation. Its all team work and productivity. Sometimes you need a person who is going through the same pain of working in a stressed environment and could relate with your verbal diarrhea. You need someone who knows the working of the organization and the frustrations of working with some people who you both know can be a pain. Should one give just a controversial name to it? I find it out rightly hilarious.

These sort of friendships among colleagues are everywhere and its a no harm thing. Tagging it with a ridiculous word as these could be extremely misleading and could lead to complications. Well why not? one would think twice before taking a walk with a colleague; lest others dont start speculating and send wrong signals!!

Imagine, the work place would be then a boot camp.