More than Love

A couple of Nicholas Sparks romantic novels has put me in a reverie. For a hopelessly romantic person like me, these novels have been adding fuel to the fire.

Aggravating it is a recent Tamil film song from the movie "180". The song is "Nee Korinaal". The song gives me goosebumps but the visuals cheat me. Throughout the song, the heroine discovers hidden sweet-nothings, gifts and romantic verses written by her beau on her birthday.

This can definitely happen only in movies and novels.Which girl does not believe in a fairy tale love, prince charming sweeping her feet off and all that shit!!

Yeah! you read that right. SHIT! I could say Shit doesnt really happen. But mind over matter, you still yearn for those mushy mushy lovey-dovey kind of episodes to happen :) Ask your girlfriend or your wife, she might surely answer in affirmative.

Now I am pondering over the obvious - LOVE.

How should it be? We seek love, to be loved forever, to be loved the way we were loved yesterday, the previous day. We want it to encompass us forever. Is it self-destructive? Why cant love be treated as any other emotion? I am sad and I cry today. Do I wish to cry forever? No!! Do I wish to be giggling forever? Thats insane!!

More often than not, being in love means going through emotional upheavals. Why cant it be peaceful? Why does love bring so much grief? Why do we care two hoots to pain and discomfort that comes with love? Remember the moth-flame analogy? Is love that destructive? Why not look at love as a rain on a parched land? We get obsessed with it than able to put it aside as a part of life than the life itself.

More than that its the expectation that we have from a relationship. When in love, we put in all our energies and attention on the loved ones and suffocate it slowly but surely. Does it have to be so obsessive that you want to own each and every aspect of the loved one? Just take what you care for, make the most of the moments together. Avoid delving deep, you cannot have everything, enjoy what you have and avoid yearning for more.

But we hope of an elusive, everlasting love which is unreal. You know it, I know it, yet we are in quest of a bigger pleasure which is unproven; suffocating and killing what could be a refreshing ephemeral pleasure. If we could delve deep and figure out what we are trying to achieve, it seems that we tend to try to fulfill ourselves, try to fulfill that void and loneliness which no one could fill but us. We use it as a door to fulfill all our dreams and expectations. Dont we realize that we are smothering that delicate relationship?

So, instead of grieving what we cannot get out of a relationship, wont it be better to celebrate what we get? No one is perfect, one cant satiate his/her own quest, then how can you expect your quest to be satisfied by others? What if he cannot give all his love to you? What if you have to share it with others? Have you thought if you can do without what you get now? If so, bravo! It requires lot of guts and its appreciable.

In a life of turbulence, when a person's presence can you give a momentary happiness, does it matter if that person is truly and wholly devoted to you or not? That moment gives you energy? Yeah? Then why not relish that and leave the rest unperturbed?

The mistake we do is let love take over us as a deeply emotional and intense entity - disturbing and alarming.  Let it loose, let it not control you, use the short gist of happiness to fuel the rest of your life. No one; none can ever devote 100% to you or your concerns. Get yourself in a life or death situation and you will know - what you choose. Love will take a backseat. "I love you more than anything" is a bunkum.

All said and done, mind is a monkey :-P But this surely helps right? Now I am going back to a third Nicholas Sparks novel. I will surely get out of my reverie once I read the last page of the novel :)