Its a universal known truth that women cant be straight forward isn't it? We throw a hint and expect the man to pick up the clue. But how do women deal with ambiguity?
I mean its equally difficult for us as well. I am talking out more in terms of my professional experience than personal. Some are trained to read in between the lines, to understand body language but why cant one say it in plain language?
I have realized that ambiguity is what leads to stress. You do not know what to do, what to expect and what not to do. You tread that path in confusion and doubt. Is it tough to say "Look! I need you to step up since I have future plans for your growth" than asking "why don't you do this...that...? Otherwise even in personal life; why should it be complicated? Communication is dangerous as equally as being helpful.
Anyway. getting back to professional life. I have heard women cant handle ambiguity. Ambiguity is a prime factor while in leadership role. Its easy if things are binary but what starts you guessing and in turn stressing out is when there is no definitive expectations, role, responsibilities call whatever you want to.
How do you handle "You will be held responsible for his failure" and yet be told "Don't tell him what to do"
Isnt that crazy? I have heard of things like these in corporate world. It seems men can handle such situations better than women. Hmm, maybe they just take it easy or can draw out the black and white from the gray.
Enough ranting for today :)
Is it applicable to women alone? In today's world, I think men are just as vague and ambiguous in their communication. Maybe these perceptions are shaped by our first experiences.
ReplyDeleteSwapna,
DeleteYeah its more about who can handle it better. It seems men handle it better in a corporate world whereas women give up their leadership role more often than not.
Thats interesting to me; there is no proven research but it seems its true. Why? I see it everyday around me
Insi,as far as I know and experienced it's a human nature.Many factors like the way you been brought up and the situations you have gone through,all seem responsible for people being so.I am completely against kind of stereotyping.In fact,if you meticulously see most of the accusations against women,it's there in men as well.Perhaps even more.But we the women folks are not propagating it that way.We are not into that.(For example if you start saying something few will start label you as an 'arrogant feminist',in a debate where you seriously reaching a conclusion,few men take sthe final weapon as women is in fact the enemy of women and so on...This I have heard many a times and now understood as just a 'method' to put you in that 'emotional battle'.Just the 'ismists' say it.If you ask them is that zero the answer will be it's not one.Today I know to ignore though such people).
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you coz' a WOMAN can still do a self-analysis in public forum which many use to harass the other gender..Let the coming days erase this 'ambiguity' issue of yours..
Ambiguity is resorted to by those who have sinister designs!
ReplyDeleteWell said! Liked this punch dialogue very much...
DeleteI don't think only or mostly women are ambiguous. There are times when, in professional and personal front everyone have to turn a bit ambiguous. As for ladies finding difficulty in workplace due to it, I may not be the right person to comment as no women work in my company.
ReplyDeleteI find it difficult to work in ambiguity. I feel quite helpless when I work with people who are not clear and methodical in their communication and expectations. Since I freelance, it becomes even more difficult for me because there is no face-to-face interaction, and words can sometimes be misinterpreted. How I tackle it is by clear communication from my end -- enlisting my milestones and what I have done and asking for feedback. Getting them to respond. I think men face this issue too.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Melange'. Stereotyping is incorrect. Ambiguity, deviance, hypocrisy - it is extra-gender ( I just coined that phrase). But then, so is the rebelling against stereotyping by aping what the other sex do. That makes you look ridiculous. That is the folly of 'feminism'.
ReplyDeleteAmbiguity is falsehood. I avoid such people.
The comments are interesting so far.
ReplyDeleteThe fact as I notice about you is you are candid and willing to admit . You are fortunately not a "feminist", the ones who like the MCPs detest and are angered by criticism, refuse to be objective and analyse or discuss. An element of obstinacy! They call it unfairness and stereo typing etc.
Ambiguity is I guess seen both in men and women. However women may know to handle it - frame an answer or a question in such a way that the other would wonder confused as to what she intends. More so in social living. Some people do use ambiguity in a canny way so as to convey what they mean. More so because they cannot confront direct.
I wonder if I have with these comments angered the feminist or the MCps.
I dont think so.I think men folk are more ambiguis and cant handle a complex situation as well as women can,i mean professionally
ReplyDeleteSometimes the situations are so complex that an average person's vocabulary is not sufficient to clearly communicate something in the allocated time. And moreover, the my attention span is not 100% all the time, and I miss some key points when someone is talking.
ReplyDeleteThe other day I explained to a customer how his request was low priority for our team and presented data to corroborate our claims. Everything was fine and everyone was happy. A week later the same guy comes back acting as if he does not remember a thing and asks if there is any progress for his work request.
I think to myself, "Gautam, open the Ramayan and start explaining the battle of kurukshetra to this fellow". Time waste. Energy waste. Sometimes I hesitate to communicate because it costs my brain and fragments it. And I am a lazy guy.
Oh boy .. Tell me about it .. I see it often A LOTTTTT..
ReplyDeleteand I am in a work line where stereotyping is a Strict NO NO.. its all about diversity and all that ..YET ??
Ambiguity is not limited to sexes. But yes, women are more ambiguous than men.
ReplyDeleteAnd when will people stop giving you various nicknames? Insignia is a beautiful name! So is Bindu!
Stopping by to say Helo..before the darkness envelops me...
ReplyDeletereeling under power cuts:(
All,
ReplyDeleteI want to make it clear what I am trying to talk here is about how women handle ambiguity. I nowhere stereotype women to being ambiguous since I dont believe in stereotyping myself. I was retrospecting about this post; I am not sure if my words didnt convey my intent clearly or that people just got influenced by reading the comments.
I still hold on to my view that women find it difficult to handle ambiguity than men in professional area. Personal arena is a different ball game.
As i know women can handle ambiguity better too as men, provided, they have the well supporting hands. yeah i accept they get stressed up but after facing the problems their level of handling the ambiguity increses more than the men :) good one Insignia.
ReplyDeletehttp://knvinayaka.blogspot.com
Vinayak,
ReplyDeleteLot of reasons - maybe guys take is easy than women or maybe women feel they have to prove themselves harder than men try. But thanks for your views. Appreciate it