Understanding People

Well, such an ironical subject. People who know me well might just think that as they read the title. I know of folks who have been trying to understand me - the way I've been trying to understand some other folks.

Ways of world. Human beings - species blessed with power of expression and reasoning. We can talk, enact, write, read, paint...oh whatever ways we can to express. Unlike other creatures of the world. Yet....we are so complex to fathom.

If I see a dog; I can make out if he or she is relaxed, happy, angry or just tired. Its one dimensional. What you see is whats in its brain. So easy! I look at Gypsy's eyes and I know what he is upto. Alas! why should it be so complicated with us?

Oh! nothing that has happened with me to be despaired of. Its just that I am beginning to realise no amount of reading and understanding human behaviour is ever enough. A harmless action can make a person hide in a shell. A minor misunderstanding can change a relationship forever. Sometimes; even a harmless expression can be understood in the most different way possible and change the course of conversation. And sometimes even a straight forward confession still can't change someone's heart.

I was chatting with a friend last night. I know this person for a while now and trust me; I've neglected at times and behaved bad and yet this person has "some hopes" on me. Don't ask me what? I should be ashamed since I am not worthy of being in good books of this person who thinks highly of me.

But thinking about it; I have been like this person at some point in life or maybe I am one right now hoping for someone else to be the way I desire. Now isn't this the fundamental problem?

Desiring someone else to be the way you want them to be? Wanting them to live a life and behave the way you would like? Isn't that what sets that endless loop of expectations and hopelessness? Be it any form of relationships - parents-child, boyfriend - girlfriend, spouse, friends.....

But yeah, its not that these things happen in a day. Take a case of parent disappointed in his child for not choosing a career of the parent's choice. Let the parent be the father here and the child his daughter. Now the father does everything the daughter wants and does without even having her to seek; only with the hope that she will one day honour his wishes because he has done everything for her. Now isn't that such a false hope? Why should it be that way?

Is it correct for one to go out of the way to do everything for a crush and then expect her to show the gratefulness in the form of love? The way it happens in our movies? Seems ridiculous when we watch it on screen with those dance and songs and colourful dresses isn't it? But thats what happens day in and day out in each of our lives - minus the songs and drama.

Its not difficult to understand people at all! Its just difficult to tame our desires - Hopeless!