When God created Eve from a rib he took off Adam's; it sure would not have been the funny bone. Why else would women be glum; be the butt of jokes cracked by men? Indian women cannot comply and unable to have a laugh. Why? Witnessing Sonia G clapping her hands and punching her fists in the air while grinning when India won the semi-finals against Pakistan in the World Cup was a Haley Comet phenomenon.
Well, its premature to mention only Indian women. A Japanese-American colleague of mine shared an incident that happened during her first visit to Japan. Having born and raised in the USA; she could not quite grasp the tradition of being prim and proper. She laughed out loud during a family gathering and the entire group went aghast. She was later coached by her mom. After that incident; she always closed her mouth with her palms while laughing and the noise never came out. We were sharing such similar stories and practices that went beyond geographical boundaries.
To talk about women and humor is an oxymoron. I studied in a girls convent run by Sisters of St. Joseph of Cluny. I dont remember having seen the sisters smile or laugh. They seemed dour and pale. I often used to wonder if no-smile was their prerogative. It also sort of fueled in ideas that nuns have had bitter experiences in their life and thus they chose nun-hood and that earlier life has deemed them sullen for the rest of their life :-| I know I was so innocent then.
Politicians - as I am talking about women here; women politicians in
India deserve a special mention. Will they have the heart to laugh if
someone made a mockery of them? Women in power believe they are in
control of everything and hence remain stern.
How often does one hear fearless uninhibited laughter in public? I would think twice before doing so myself. Its a serious matter as men in our society who see women laugh so easily is an easy catch. Almost every other lady would wish for a man who can make her laugh. Why not wish for a man who can laugh at her jokes? Men do not accept a smart women cracking intelligent jokes either; they get intimidated.
Now this does not mean women never laugh. Dont we erupt into a wicked laughter when we hear the neighbor's car had a break down? Our tele-serials have such scenes every other day. This is an ugly trait. Do we lack the lightness to laugh at ourselves? Is our humor hackneyed? Will I laugh it off if someone makes fun of my restless behavior? Is it that we are not comfortable with ourselves?
Seems so....
I laugh aloud most times..and make others laugh too - or so they do in front of me! but I cannot chuckle and then keep a straight face! how can people do that? huh! weirdos!
ReplyDeletevery interesting post and observation!
I do not laugh loudly but always smile while conversing.
ReplyDeleteI was training a group of korean students and they were finding it difficult to laugh at jokes. Expressing emotions in front others is not good manners for them I believe.
Oh I am so glad in India we are allowed to laugh the way we want ! Why is suppressing such a beautiful emotion considered good manners ? ! I just cant enjoy a joke fully unless I laugh my heart out at it... sometimes I laugh so hard that tears come out of my eyes, and I have to hold my stomach with one hand, grab a tissue with the other and wipe the tears ! :D I have also noticed that many people laugh just at the sight of me enjoying the joke so much ! Isn't that a good deed done ?
ReplyDeletelaughter is the best medicine.. it is good to laugh.. women - men I did not know there was difference in that till i read this note, or maybe i never noticed ...
ReplyDeleteI hope all have a smile and world is a better place to live in ..
Bikram's
I have seen women and girls suppress their laughter for God knows what reason. (Maybe girls my age think that it will make them look more mature and sophisticated, which I think they won't no matter what they do :p)
ReplyDeleteAs for me. I am a laughing maniac and I even laugh at myself; in some situations that people around think that I am laughing at them! :P
And I don't think I will ever be able to suppress my laughter just because people around would find me weird.
I am reminded of Audrey Hepburn ( Eliza Doolittle) in 'My Fair Lady)shouting at a racing horse - 'Move yer bloomin' ass!' and all the prim and proper ladies at the race looking shocked! :-)
ReplyDeleteI never hesitate to laugh ... but at the same time horrible at understanding jokes made at me :P ... i will gloat and make faces :P
ReplyDeleteAs for Nun, now that u hv mentioned it, even I have never seen them laughing ...
interesting :D U always find something new to write on :D kudos :D
Insignia,
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if there is a connection between gender and laughter. There should be and I have not seen any....
Yes I agree with you there may be no connection between gender and laughter. But I feel some points are relevant here , such as,
ReplyDelete1- comfort zone is vital to laugh ones gut out ( male and female)
2- After all this is a MP world and one cannot deny that. Hence number of men wanting to laugh over a joke cracked by a woman will be few. If not for reasons of seduction.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteInsignia@ i don't think gender n laughter are related..but a thing i have always observed is normally men are easier catching up the dark sarcastic humour between lines while women r either naive or just requires that extra moment to get it..this is wat i have seen from amongst my friends..wouldn't say all women takes d extra moment..but a lot do.. there is always dis connection i have felt b/w wit and laughter..so u have a bad timing, that is the end..and u might end being the butt of a round of jokes..
ReplyDeleteall said, i am speaking from ma perspective and i then know mine might be an irrelevant perspective when u r talking about d whole :)
The only women i have seen laughing her heart out is Archana Pooran Singh in Comedy circus :P , though you can easily make out that it's a paid laugh rather than an original one!
ReplyDeleteThe only women i have seen laughing her heart out is Archana Pooran Singh in Comedy circus :P , though you can easily make out that it's a paid laugh rather than an original one
ReplyDeleteI dont miss any oppurtunity to laugh and laugh loud enough.
ReplyDeleteMen or women, those who control their laughter can never be good social company.
Yes, I have yet to see Sonia G laugh.
Neha,
ReplyDeletethanks. Yeah I know you. But not many could laugh out that way
chitra,
Yes thats the tradition and cultural aspect of it.
Anita,
:-) Thats really a good deed. Yet you know we do tend to suppress for the fear of people forming an opinion
Bik,
Yes, :-) you should observe women's reaction. Are they free to laugh out loud in a group or do they suppress?
Enigma,
aah see this is what I am talking about. :)
Balan,
:-D Hahaha
Rajlakshmi,
:-) We find it difficult to be sportive enough to laugh if someone makes fun of us. Thanks, its just that I keep observing and end up writing about one of them
A,
I am not saying that laughter is not meant for women. There is no connection as such but what I am trying to say women tend to suppress their feelings for humor in certain situations.
In a male dominated society; there are certain rules of dos and donts for women. And it might be absurd but laughing out loud is a dont in many.
Old wives tales like "laughing out loud will bring you sorrows" were/are doing the rounds yet.
As I mentioned in the post; such women seem to be an easy prey for men.
anil,
Thanks. This is what I am trying to say. Our society is such that women cracking a joke and laughing out over it is sure to be branded as lacking good manners.
ousu,
They are not related for sure. But your gender definitely matters to the way you would react to a humorous situation. It could also be that women are equally or more smarter to grasp the sarcasm and dark humor but suppress their feelings.
Laughter need not be only due to humor. A smile and a laugh can arise in joyful situations as well. I gave an example of nuns.
Men around me are certainly not going to appreciate an intelligent joke I crack; they sure are going to get intimidated. But saying all this; I would add women do laugh more because thats the only way they can keep themselves happy among groups of few men who cant think beyond dumb-blondes, nosy-mother-in-law, nagging-wife jokes.
neha,
Oh yeah! She is one lady who can laugh her gut out. but sometimes its obnoxious :P See I myself feel that way :P
Chowla sir,
Yes, you said it right.
You should watch replay of Indo-Pak WC semi-final. She does smile and laugh.
Very well written. Why women only? Even men too. For example, take a look at any marriage album. Everybody is so serious.
ReplyDeleteIndian politicians? They never smile. They always have a grim face as if someone has just been handed out a death sentence.
When u talk about politicians i agree...mayawati, sonia gandhi, mamta banerjee they don't know to laugh. But when you talk about us...I feel that atleast we laugh khulke, don't you think so?
ReplyDeleteSG,
ReplyDeleteYes its not gender centric. But I am talking about women here because they tend to be more conservative in emoting their joys.
G3,
Hmm not really Gayathri. It doesnt happen that way with everyone. Maybe few young women like us dont have any inhibitions. But not everyone.
I usually laugh out loud. I try not to control my laugh. I mean, what's the big deal if I laugh noisily.
ReplyDeleteAnd yea, I agree that women are bound by so many rules, irrespective of their origin but we are to be blamed for that. I believe that if we refuse to follow them then nobody shall ask us to follow them.
Nethra,
ReplyDeleteThats nice.
I so agree with you. We are to be blamed. Why care about what others think about you. But how many of us follow this in reality? We are always worried about our rapport with others.
I second Nethra on laughin out loud.. but the sad part is if I do when am home then am bound to end up in a special class with just me as the student and a bunch of older ladies in the family as my teachers.. but no matter how many times I try to keep those lessons in mind.. when I laugh... I tend to forget those advices.. cuz when I laugh.. I really laugh my heart out :-)
ReplyDeleteNethra,
ReplyDeleteThats nice.
I so agree with you. We are to be blamed. Why care about what others think about you. But how many of us follow this in reality? We are always worried about our rapport with others.
Meety,
ReplyDeleteyour comment got deleted due to blogger issue. Here it is
I second Nethra on laughin out loud.. but the sad part is if I do when am home then am bound to end up in a special class with just me as the student and a bunch of older ladies in the family as my teachers.. but no matter how many times I try to keep those lessons in mind.. when I laugh... I tend to forget those advices.. cuz when I laugh.. I really laugh my heart out :-)
Yes I dont understand why do we need to be advised to laugh! Ironic isnt it!