Who is a human being? One reference is " a member of any of the races of Homo sapiens; person; man, woman, or child". Well that's an anatomical definition; perfect enough. Beyond that; the qualities we possess defines what we are. I am not making any discovery here :) Its known right? Happiness, joys, sorrows, anger, frustration, care, tenderness, love, lust, vengeance, misery, jealousy.......many many qualities; the list can go on.
The end result of these feelings are expression. I have heard expressing them does wonders; at least you dont have to carry the burden of it within you. Sometimes it can backfire; but if all you care is keeping yourself light; the backfire wont bother you. But if that is going to hit back at you; then better keep off right?
The fear of rejection or the fear of "what would they think about me?" definitely would keep us from voicing our opinions or concerns. I for one certainly think on a different angle than these two. "Did I not have that self control to handle the situation better?" always keeps me on my toes; I would better keep quiet and make my heart heavy than blurt it out and open another can of worms.
I agree it doesn't work all the time. Sometimes it works in my favor when in a day or two I realize why something happened that way or the reason behind someone's behavior. They had a reason; and I am glad I waited before I fired. Some times its odd; because the moment has passed when I could have struck red hot. The assumption that some day they will realize is a stupid one. No one does! Other times, not talking about it causes drift and bitterness within that grows like a vicious weed that can choke you up.
Anyway; this one quality sets people apart from one another isn't it? The "What if" factor. What if I told her? What if I did not tell her? What if the situation got better? What if the situation got worse? What if he understands me some day? Living in anticipation of a better situation or a favorable situation keeps us going.
"Never mind, I will be promoted next year". Only to realize you forgot to put the effort this year; you thought your last year's success will speak for your next year? Oh boy! Would it have been better to have clarified about it than assume?
Anyway, it is better to wait for the right moment to speak. Its fine to speak than holding back. But the right time gets the importance you would like to attach; meanwhile you have had time to collect your thoughts and formulate a plan to go about it.
Or sometimes its best left unsaid :)
Some people can't just understand even when the right time comes. Most of the times, I keep things to myself rather than blurting them out and many times I've found it useful.
ReplyDeleteThe 'What ifs' make a long list in my life though I cannot do anything about it now. There will always be options to what ever we chose and again a 'What if' will rise.
Yeah true. Its all about doing the right thing at the right time
DeleteI feel one must speak one's mind and be as expressive as one can be.
ReplyDelete"What ifs" is not relevant.
Now is the time.
True, but it can backfire.
DeleteI am pretty outspoken. I try not to hurt someone but rarely would I hold back from a loved one or friend.
ReplyDeleteIts fine at personal level, but professional front needs diplomacy
DeleteYes it depends Insi.Everyone got their own ways of handling.Good or bad.The relationship,situation,whether it's worth,the subject,all does matter.Right thought put in right situation clicks always;obviously not so often.
ReplyDeleteBtw,nice thought!
True Melange. Yeah be it relationship, work, casual it matters. Otherwise its prone to more problems
DeleteSpeaking at the right time is more important :)
ReplyDeleteRahul, right!
DeleteYes, Speaking out is important. And speaking without hurting is also important. When we do not speak out, the person who hurts us, geta a ok message. They will do it again.We will accumulate hurt and suffer.
ReplyDeleteNot speaking out,and concealing emotions do not help at all. Everyone comes to know about a person who conceals, and feel it in their bones.In the long run , the relationship sours .
Better to be normal, speak out and live a friendly life.
Yup! its going to somehow show up in one form or the other. But thinking more about it; there is a way and a time to put the thought across
Deletesatyam bruyat priyam bruyat na bruyat satyam apriyam
ReplyDeletepriyam ca nanrutam bruyat esha dharmah sanatanah
Speak truth in such a way that it should be pleasing to others. Never speak truth, which is unpleasant to others. Never speak untruth, which might be pleasant.
:) Yes sir
DeleteIt's tough though to find a way to tell the truth with love.
ReplyDeleteAgree!
DeleteThe art of diplomacy works the magic in the professional front... if only I could master it :-) and I believe in being transparent when it comes to personal relationships though....
ReplyDeleteHaaa same same. Diplomacy is a tough subject I am trying to learn
DeleteI am at loss , I think I dont speak up and end up in bad situations and sometimes work has taken advantage of it. Although there have been times when I have said something because I say it as i see it and that too doesnot go well ..
ReplyDeleteI wish I can be a diplomat and learn t osay things in a dishonest way .. trying my hardest to do that , god willing one day i will get there..
Bikram's
Insha Allah!
Delete"If indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully." Khalil Gibran
ReplyDeleteBut is it possible all the while?
Exactly! Need to catch hole of Gibran and ask how to do it
DeleteI do speak up most of my thoughts in personal relationships.But when,where,whom n how....I m still learning this ....:)
ReplyDeleteSo completely agree with " better to wait for the right moment to speak" .Have learned this from past...:)
:)
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