Random Faces

Some twitching, some smiling
Few staring, few brooding.
One is nervous, the other surprised
Someone is excited; while the other is fearful.

Wrinkles criss-crossing like a river,
The years seen, the paths tread.
Those scars; now a tattoo etched forever
Bearing testimony of hurdles crossed.

Those flowy hair; matted and dirty
Given up on comforts
Those countless freckles; like stars in the sky
Hiding numerous stories.

Imperfect yet charming; different yet similar.
Each waxing eloquent unique experiences.
Are all those faces....
Random Faces.

Flutter

Dull grey sky
Cold winter night
Empty road, heavy mind

Spaghetti of thoughts
Twisting and twirling
Why is the world not 

walking with me?

Each one passing by
Consumed in their own thoughts
Glum and brooding

Where is the joy?
Where is the appreciation?
Why is no one pausing?
For little beautiful things...

There!!! I see yellow petals
Gliding away in the wind
Oh...that's a butterfly!!

Rediscovery

Few years back; I saw "LIFE" scribbled on a colleague's cubicle glass partition. I was passing by him; and stopped at that instant. He was always stressed out because of work. I took a marker from his desk; and drew a SINE WAVE and added "....is a since wave" after "LIFE" as he was silently watching.

I put the marker down; turned and smiled. He was like "Oh yeah! its all ups and downs isnt it?" I said "Yes", now dont get stressed out, take it easy."

We all go through phases of high and low so often in our life; few fight to always stay happy and cheerful and would tell off others who brood. But I think its ok to brood, to feel low and to go into your cocoon; to reemerge. I dont beat myself up for wasting time mulling over; or to have forgotten how blessed I am once in a while.

Past year was interesting; both professionally and personally. It could've been better; I let few things bring me down emotionally and my confidence level was squashed. Perhaps; I lost myself in the process of pleasing others. Its a learning process, and nothing is going to kill you. You know there is light at the end of the tunnel and you shall emerge stronger and brighter; but the pain of passing through that dark tunnel is excruciating. At times; you have people to support you and at times you are all by yourself. With me; though there were people to support; I took my own sweet time.

Those phases are interesting actually; they teach you to differentiate good and bad, they make you wiser and help you to learn to trust again, to try again. You learn to pick yourself together.

I had suspended few of my hobbies close to me; like reading, writing, photography. I am glad I have started them again. Worse; I was so lost in my own world wallowing all the time that I had stopped observing; and relishing those simple joys of life. I have not bounced back completely yet. But certainly its improved. For one thing; I continued my travel sojourns. Was it escapism or my way of feeling life - I dont know. But it continued. I visited beautiful and gorgeous places on earth - Jordan, The North of West Bengal and Sikkim, Bhutan, Iceland, Finland and Sweden.

The other thing I started doing was coloring. I was able to download and print free coloring pages and man! they are so therapeutic. I am playing with crayons, sketch pens and color pencils. For one, I am not patient and I am coloring like nursery kids; going over the borders. But its nice that I dont have to draw anything myself; I suck big time in drawing. Here are few of my latest coloring works

 One other thing that I thought I would never do was to get started on Harry Potter. I have been coaxed by many to read HP but Ive always shied away. Dont know why; but I was successfully perusaded this time and I started during the 2 month break I had before starting on my new job. So yeah! Harry Potter is extremely captivating and brilliantly written. I am reading the 4th book now.

I've gotten interested in few other things as well and hope to start them off soon...Hopefully....

Life's Snippets

A tit-bit you hear as you pass by in a hallway or a random conversation that falls in your ear as you are around waiting for something; maybe in a super market or at the bus stop......does not mean anything to you at all. But more often; those little conversations drives the life and day to day struggles and efforts of that individual.

I am an intense observer; I look at people's body language, their facial expression; those convey a lot - about their fear, inhibitions, joys and such; combined with tit-bit often gives an interesting perspective of one's life.

Now! dont get me wrong. I m neither looking for gossip or juicy piece of news to entertain myself. This is all about people's struggles versus what they are passionate in life about. Trust me! its always at the opposite ends and they dont meet. The whining and the complaining hoping to get past the troubles is never ending.

One may wonder; all these conversations most times complaints? What about happy stories? Yes! happy stories are very easy to notice and deduce. Smile, joys, excitement defines happiness. Its just that - pure and plain happiness.

On the other side; sorrows manifest in many ways - anger, dullness, fear, sombreness. The talks are often subdued, contained and private unlike a happy moment where it is proclaimed. Been hearing a lot of such brief conversations off late. Or rather; I m being a bit attentive maybe these days. As i walk past them or as they walk past me; I hear those one or two sentences which paints a picture of their situation at work, or at home or in a city. Tells a lot about their pain, their desperation and the hope.

"How long would it be until I can start contributing independently? Working with him is such a pain!" - lamenting about a difficult co worker. Our job - plays such an important role in our life given that we spend almost 50% of our day either at work or doing work related activities. Our peers become a part of our life; and their behavior affects our well being so much. Did you know about "work spouse"? Google it. Woah! how much our work influences our life!!

"This is all show; metropolitan life, cars and careers. But each of us are struggling underneath. Whats all this money going to give us? There are times when I seriously think I should go back to my village. Herd 2 cows and be happy with that little I'd get but with peace abounds" - a cab driver's frustration driving in insane Bangalore traffic. I am sure he dreams of his village and two cows every night and yet wakes up in the morning looking for business to be able to lead his "Bangalore" life.

"Its NOT my way; its my mothers way!!" - an 35+ year adult living under the shade of his mother. Mom thinks her "child" needs assistance and help; interfering in his day to day activities, monitoring what he eats, when he sleeps, where he goes. The "child" just playing along.

Sigh! I could go on and on. When I hear conversations as these; I cant help but wonder how we are all so similar; sailing the same ship and battling the odds - some of us fighting the pirates, few of us trying to cross the rough seas and few of us trying to share space with monsters.

Gypsy's worry - "When do we play?"

Life!

Locks of Love in Helsinki

What does your mind think of when you see locks. Doors and cupboards secured with a lock to protect any valuables. To see a lock on a door or a gate or on an almirah is common. It might generate an extra interest if the locks are artistic or different than normal looking mostly used ones. But if you see normal looking locks on a bridge; serving no purpose at all?

The beauty of travel is that it throws surprises at you even with the most mundane of things and those wonderful sights you see and observe often makes you realize  how ways of life differ from one part of the world to other. These discoveries fuel you further to go on, explore and educate yourself.
So the locks. Locks - nothing is alluring about locks. They serve a purpose and that's about it. More locks, more security; that's that. So when I saw that bridge weighed down by so many locks of all kinds - colorful, rusted, number locks with initials and names of 2 people; announcing their love to the world; it was intriguing. Yeah; I have read about the belief of sweethearts who pad the locks and throw the key into the river praying their love survives...but I thought it was a Paris phenomenon only. Only when I saw at Helsinki; I realized it was prevalent not just in Paris; but all over Europe and in other parts of the world as well.

It seemed very simple. Lock the padlock; throw the keys in the water and your love is eternal and you'd be together forever. Rakkauden Silta – Helsinki’s Bridge of Love – crosses over a narrow section of the Vantaa river at Vanhankaupunginkoski, just near the Uspenski Orthodox Cathedral is where you'd find many locks on both sides of the metal bridge.

My curious mind set off to read more on these locking affection and love. Such love bridges exist in European cities, the US, Canada, Australia and even South Korea. I chuckled when I read how these were accepted in societies across the world. While few municipalities considered such an act as vandalism and damage to public property; there are few cities which encourage visitors to pad locks. There is also website where users can send others virtual love locks :-o
Fortunately ; for lovers in Finland; Helsinki law allows love locks on its city bridges.

Why not celebrate and flaunt love in pretty pinks and cherry reds and candy blue padlocks :-)

PS : Originally posted on my Travel Blog - Bindu's Travel Diaries. 

Rain Tree

Standing tall with humongous trunk

Branches snaking out and wide

Green thick foliage of the Rain Tree

Among rows of jacaranda and gulmohar

The tree seems uninteresting

Does it flower? Does it seed?

Where is the carpet of bright flowers?

Like the copper pod’s bright yellow flowers on ground.

Observe and yes! They do flower!

Hairy pink flowers; high above the foliage

In large numbers. They don’t fall to the ground.

So; do they just wither on the tree?

Their silent existence exudes mystery.

Their leaves glisten with drops of rain

Do they house the squirrels and the birds?

No pomp; but standing tall….               

Love these trees more than ever…

Anticipating; their special powers to bring rain.

How do they attract clouds?

I wonder; Why is it named a Rain Tree?

 

Who is your true self?

A friend of mine was recently introduced to my blog. Well; yeah a friend who doesn't know my blog? I try to keep my blog discreet; for certain reasons. So yeah; the friend has been reading lot of my earlier posts. At times; he reminds me of how my views and perspective have changed. Now its kind of evolved; lets say; than what they were earlier. Thoughts mostly in terms of life, spirituality, love, emotions and such.

Have they EVOLVED? 

This is the question I ask myself. I would like to term it as "evolvement" rather than "changed". Lets say my views are evolving; am I now a different person? Is that disappointing? Well; one thing is for sure; words are not adequate to express why you think what you think; whats the background; whats the trigger. The outcome is what matters; not the process isn't it? 

So; maybe I didn't expose the background triggers and support my views enough in such matters? 

As children; we are not bound by any societal or cultural restrictions; we are unadulterated and thus express ourselves freely without any inhibition. Then, as we grow; we are bound by ways of the world; burdened with expectations. We get moulded into what the society expects out of us - constantly being judged and labeled. So much so that we become very similar to each other; imbibing what the system wants us to do; programmed to try and find success that is defined by the society and culture. 

However; our core beliefs and wishes remain; which we constantly cane and suppress; because being different means being rebellious. But lets say; some of us are strong headed to not conform to the expected behaviour and be ourselves. What does that mean? To go against the clutches of conformance, of duty, of responsibility, of acceptance? 

Some time back; I had a very interesting conversation with my supervisor at work. He was giving me feedback on how task oriented I am; how I should show a bit of empathy towards others and such. I was of the opinion that I am unique because of my nature; why is it that they are expecting me to be like "someone else". Then; I become someone else; not myself anymore. To which; he explained about "emotional intelligence" and "social intelligence" - to be aware of one's and other's emotions to get along with others and to handle interpersonal relationships. We also talked about how changing yourself is not becoming a different person but its evolving. Its a process. 

To me; its still trying to force somebody to imbibe someone else's qualities. Dont get me wrong; I am not boasting of my lack of empathy. But I have my own ways to show empathy. So; to be liked, to be accepted, to be good and virtuous, to live upto an image and trying to meet expectations; we leave our true selves behind. Our culture likes it this way! 

However; if one can lose the falsification;  if one can differentiate right and wrong, if the core beliefs are still the same; underneath you can find your true self. It requires going through that process; of embracing those beliefs sold to you, of adopting those traits and images that you thought is right; that you realise whats your true self. 

This would be going against the tide; being indifferent at times; being inconsistent at times. Lets face it; its not easy to be strong enough and keep up with one's instincts all the time; to be selfish and with all the forces of conformance pushing you without any trace of remorse. 

In the end; what matters is if you still believed what you always believed in; even if you had deviated and are deviating and realise that :-)