So long

I am back! (Arnold Schwarzenegger style) :-P

Catching up on tons of official emails makes one sick and tired. Too much information to grasp, responses to be sent accordingly; meetings to attend leaves no time for blogs and Facebook and chit-chats. Nah! I dont love my Facebook as much as others do; but it sort of gives you a glimpse of others' state.

For instance; a friend of mine suddenly seems to have grown a sense of responsibility towards India's economy. There are others who share videos and photos and the witty one-liners. I hate it when my so called friends prefer to leave a message on Facebook than calling me. My friends list would show me in poor light - mere 89. Now thats a very tiny number huh for others have 500+ as their friends.

It was my birthday this week. Thank you all for the belated wishes now :-D I prefer to hide it; dont let anybody know. My theory is simple; people would remember if they want to; else no sweat! A junior boy at work asked me why I had not published my birthday on Facebook. I just shrugged and said "I dont like to let the whole world know. People who remember it will wish me and that was enough. Maybe I was a sadist".

To which he said "No, you are not. That is your way of filtering people. Your inner circles would definitely remember. You are different". I dont know; maybe. Every year brings in new surprise; someone unexpected would all of a sudden remember the day and wish me. 3 years ago; one came down to Bangalore to spend time with me on my birthday. Thats that; he doesnt recall my birthday anymore :-) Thats how it is.

Yeah; it does not matter. A very dear friend whom I secretly wished to remember my birthday; forgot about it. It hurt me, I was not angry but just sad. Thats when I realized; if something is not remembered; its just not worth remembering. Aww philosophy? I have been observing that I get philosophical on weekends. Anyway; learning to accept works magic you know. The sooner you accept; the better it is. But yeah; the pace is slower than you would want to; the more you push something; the more it sticks on you. Before you even realize; you are obsessed with it. But then one fine day; even before you realize; you would have let go of it. How? When? No idea!

I am alone at home; lot of time to spend and I start thinking. Not that I dont think other days. But weekends - the calmness, the me-time gives a perfect ambiance for my thoughts to brood. I am feeling guilty for not being regular at my fitness regime. I will work towards it hereafter.

I am also feeling guilty for not being able to spend time on one of my responsibilities at work. I spoke about it with my manager and he said he wants me to concentrate on what I am doing right now; the other job can take a back seat. He mentioned that what I was doing now added more value to the team and the organization and I get showered with appreciations every chance available. It feels awkward to be getting only praises and no blames/complaints. :-| No, I am not flaunting; I am genuinely feeling awkward.

Yes, yes, I am coming to it. My vacation was great. I proved once again that I can decide on major things just at the snap of my finger but little things take a long long time. Let me keep you all in suspense. I shall soon be writing about it. A long travelogue :)